MS

This is a one shot that started with a definite picture in mind and then started to get into murky waters. I don't really know where it came from, but I hope that it delivers what I wanted to write about. I was either going to do it on two parts, but then just decided to put things together in one chapter. There is a shift in a middle that would hopefully be easy to see. It also kind of concentrates on the person, so expect monologue like sentences without much happening for most of it. Maybe the ending can make up for it for you guys. Sorry. I just had to write it to get it out of my mind... so I also just had to put it up.

Summary: Syaoran finds himself in a situation that get's him very unsure of himself. What he doesn't realize is that he's not the only one in that particular spot. He cannot stomach to see her smiling to some guy like he wishes she would do to him.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the CCS characters.

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Bit of Air

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It was stifling. Syaoran didn't know how the word came to be the only thing that rang around his mind at the moment, but it seemed apropos.

He walked silently through the dark path of the huge yard of the house he had just vacated, leaving behind the laughs and running music that had been straining his sanity. He didn't even know how he had come to be there.

He had accepted coming here to give a bit of prompting to Sakura. Sakura, he sighed in a despondent manner before leaning against the trunk of a huge maple tree and looking up to the branches in search of the sky.

He'd been crazy over the girl for ages. He was currently fifteen years old and could very much recall he exact moment he had started crushing on her. The problem was that as sweet as she was, and as lovable as she could be, she was oblivious to many things. Especially him.

Everyone else could tell that he had started to think of her as more than a friend. It didn't take more than seeing his blushes and his stammers in various cases when she was around to start planting the little seeds.

Everyone got wise of it but the intended it seemed. Syaoran ground his head against the trunk of the tree, the jaded surface scratching his scalp as it by passed the cushion of his hair. The exercise just brought a jolt of pain that quickly passed and brought him back to his current problem.

He knew very well what had prompted him to show tonight at this party. It had been exactly one week since he had told Sakura of his feelings. It had been one week of silences whenever he joined her circle. It had been exactly one week since she had avoided any contact with him.

He slammed his closed fist against the trunk, biting his tongue as he piped down the impulse to do it again. He felt a grip on his chest, tightening little by little and then just coming to cover his whole chest. That had been happening a lot lately and surely, he was getting sick of it.

That's why when one of the girls that had been trying to get on his good side for weeks had offered to be his date for a party, he had decided to accept. It took only so long for a person to put up with wavering gazes and being ignored before they took the hint.

He blew air upwards, watching his bangs dance over his eyes. He was severely due for haircut. He didn't know why the thought came to his mind, but it was there. That got him thinking. Maybe it was time for a change.

It was the last year of junior high and after spending the last four years in love with the same girl, it was time for a radical change to get his mind off of the problems that were suddenly looming.

He wanted to laugh out loud at the absurdity of the situation. He grimaced as he felt the stab sensation emerge once again on the left side of his chest, spreading slowly and constricting his throat.

Why was it that it seemed like he was going to cry? He had to ask himself as he tried to gulp down some air. It was better if he kept moving, he decided. With a decisive step, he moved away. He had never been at this particular house and grounds, but he was sure from what he had seen that there was enough terrain for him to get lost in.

It was dark and with a gloomy atmosphere as the plants swayed to the call of the wind. He was glad of his collared shirt, as the temperature dropped. It was getting close to May and the winter blend of temperatures with spring still brought the temperatures down through the night.

"What am I doing here?" he asked out loud to himself. The silence around him drowning in his words as if he had not spoken at all. He had gotten out of the house when he thought he'd seen her. He had caught a glimpse of the back of her hair as she shyly glanced into a not particular guy that was with her. He hadn't recognized him, or really spared more than a glance in that direction when he felt the need to get out of the room.

Suddenly, the room was too small for his liking, with hardly any oxygen to breath. He had obediently followed the shouts of his brain to get out of the room. It just felt wrong to be there.

Syaoran uttered a sigh of discontent as he kicked a rock from the path and heard it roll against the dirt. He headed forward, the destination furthest from his mind as he decided to stare at the sky.

It was pitch black. As if nothing would call to him. He tried to look at his watch, but couldn't discern which numbers were being pointed to. It didn't matter though. He had no way to leave himself unless he called for someone to pick him up. And in the end, he had already told his sister, whom he was living with at the moment, that he would be staying over at a friend's house for the weekend.

Said friend was probably going to have the time of his life and he really didn't want to interrupt his merry time. Just because he felt miserable didn't mean that he wanted everyone else to do so as well.

That got him thinking again of what he was trying to distract himself. It was all clear now. She had come to the party after he heard nothing but the contrary. And she came with someone that he could say was a guy. The irritation of it was unnecessary since it all pointed out an obvious clue. She was not interested in him.

He questioned why she couldn't just straight out inform him of the fact after he had gathered the courage to tell her of his feelings. He faulted her for that. Sakura could be the girl that walked on water as much as he was concerned, but it was cruel to do that to him.

Cruel to stall everything, and dragging things out if she was not going to confront him back and tell him a simple no or yes. He was sure that he would have gotten the message quite clear without having to see her looking at some guy like he had wanted her to look at him for the past years.

He reasoned that life wasn't fair. But it would be alright. This was his first tumble with the better emotions and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. The suffering of teenage hearts.

He chuckled at his own stupid words. He wondered if his drink had been spiked for him to think such an outlandish idea. What was possessing his thought processes?

A giddy laugh escaped his lips, and that cinched it. He definitely was not in control of himself. If any of his friends had caught any of that he would have been accused of being a girl. The highest insult they could manage at the moment.

He shook his head, looking at the dark ground and just sitting down.

He still felt wrong in so many ways that he could not really process his own body's response to the weather. It was very late and with the changing temperatures, he was not completely surprised to feel moisture fall on his neck. It was not that important in his mind.

But that was it. He was done. He had spent the last few years in love with the girl and with this happening, it was time that he got over that. He didn't know for sure how things worked in that department, but with the help of his friends and all, he was sure to find some way out of this emotional predicament.

The first thing he would do the next morning would be getting a haircut. He remembered exactly why his visits to the cutter had been getting longer in and it was no longer necessary. He recalled how months before by some circumstance, Sakura had remarked how his longer bangs made him look handsome.

That had been enough to get him interested on his appearance. But he was in need of a change. His sister had remarked that a sharp haircut would be able to get attention to his sharp, angular features. She always remarked how he had their father's bone structure. Maybe he would start listening to her.

Maybe he would start taking her advice when it came to a lot of things. She did say that it was about time someone stepped in and talked to him about various facts of life. She would probably be able to shine some light into the world of girls, in which he was hopelessly lost.

His musings, which made him forget about his current predicament, distracted him enough so that he jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Syaoran, what are you doing out here?" Sakura stood to his side, leaning towards him. She was smiling serenely, her lips quirked as her wide eyes focused on him alone.

Syaoran just stared back. Wondering if he was beginning to hallucinate. There was no way that Sakura was outside, in the dark, leaning over his shoulder in the sprinkling rain. There was just no way.

Sakura's smile faltered as he did not answer. Maybe it was the way he was looking at her, but she knew that she appearing before him was probably something he had not expected at all.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," she shivered at the words, the unnatural fear coming again because of the darkness. Her smile turned to a grimace as her lighthearted comment did nothing to abate the situation.

Something was definitely wrong. She knew it, but she didn't know what to do about it.

Her short hair was starting to meld onto her neck, the wisps wet from the drops of water that came from the dark sky. It was no wonder there were no stars or moon. Nothing could be seen since the clouds overhead were preparing to let out a cry of turbulence.

Her eyes wavered to his position when he simply stayed unmoving. Her neck was starting to sore so she did the next best thing. She sat down beside him, not caring about the dirt on her clothes as she drew her legs in and wrapped her arms around them.

"You shouldn't sit down," he still did not make a move to stop her. "I think the raining is going to get worse."

She shrugged it off, placing her head between her knees and just looking forward. She didn't know where his stare was fixated, but at least this way she could mimic and feel like she wasn't alone. Even though he was seated beside her, she knew he was withdrawn, as if she was not there.

She really didn't know what to do. She wondered if it even mattered that she was here. Things were not going as she had planned. But to be truthful, she knew that these kind of things never went as planned.

"You haven't answered me Syaoran, why are you out here?" she didn't know what else to ask at the moment.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," he took his time in answering, but the answer seemed to have an edge to it. That had her attention for awhile.

Syaoran shot her covert glances, fixated on her expression. She seemed to be debating something. In a way he felt the stirring of some emotion inside of him, but he still could not say that he was as elated as he would have been a couple of days ago to find himself alone with Sakura.

"I did something wrong, didn't I?" Even though it was a question, it wasn't truly phrased as such. It was left as a statement. Syaoran really didn't have anything to add to that. He could not feel the usual familiarity as he was beside her. He had to get out of there before he did something super embarrassing that he would not be able to live down. It was bad enough that he had confessed his feelings a week before and have her act mum around him since.

He started to stand to go. It didn't matter what he had to do. He was going to call his sister somehow, and even if he disrupted a date or whatever, he was going to have her come for him. They had gotten close enough the past few years living together to know that she would commiserate with his feelings and help him figure out what was going on.

He was stopped by her hand. It was tightly gripping the side of his pants, before he could even take a step.

"Why are you leaving now?" her tone was deflated, devoid of her usual tilt.

He didn't know how to reply. What was he supposed to say? He was at a loss there. Was he able to laugh it off and try to get some normalcy into this encounter. The rain increased at that moment. It only lasted for a few seconds, but it had been hard enough to pelt down and drench various part of his clothing.

Sakura's head was hanging low, her wet bangs were dripping low to the ground and her clothes. He could feel the heat concentrating on his cheeks as he looked at said clothes. He knew that wearing white was not a good idea when one was to get wet. He was very much aware of the lines of her bra, and the color of her skin as sections of her shirt were plastered to her body.

She looked so appealing. Like one of those soft commercials he had seen on one channel one night. She was looking very appealing at the moment.

"Why are you out here?" he decided to ask her. He had not answered, but he wanted to know himself. "I'm sure that you had no need to come outside for some air. Or maybe you wanted some time alone with your date."

He couldn't help but show the bite of his statement. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. He looked away, not wanting her to see his expression and therefore missed her shock.

Sakura tried to process what he had just said. What was he talking about? What date was he referring to? She was so dumbfounded, that she let go of his pants, which he took as a sign to start moving.

Sakura stumbled out of her sitting position, scrambling to him. She could not let him walk away without at least explaining his cryptic remark.

For the second time that night, he felt her hand on his person. This time, she had taken hold of his arm and was surprisingly strong.

"Why are you?" he didn't even get to finish his sentence before he found himself thrown against a flat surface, with her arms on either side of him.

It was a comical image. Here he was, against a tree trunk with a determined Sakura keeping him in place. He chuckled at the absurdity of the situation. He was sure he could knock her arms away without exerting himself, but his curiosity was piqued.

Maybe she had come out here for some reason pertaining to him. They had been out long enough so that if anyone else had wanted to get involved in this conversation, they would have stumbled into them by now.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't really know," she answered breezily, sticking her nose upwards, her furrowed eyes staring close into his face.

"You know that if you slip just a bit, then you're going to fall on me, right?"

"I know," she looked to her feet, silently debating if that would be the best thing to do at the moment. That might break the ice. She could feel the warmth spreading over her cheeks at the thought. Syaoran wondered what exactly was going through her mind to make her do so.

"Fine," she stated, before carefully walking forward, not slipping, but still reaching her goal. Sakura kissed him. It was just a pressing of her lips on his for a few seconds, but it still shattered the silence as blood rushed through Syaoran's ears.

His lips tingled as she lifted her head away from his. Syaoran was glad that he was against a hard surface from which he could get support, or he would have slid to the ground since he could not feel his legs.

"I like you Syaoran," were her words, which drowned out the question that was going through his mind.

"Wait a second," he was trying to process what had just happened.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn't care," Sakura knew very well what had happened the past week. She had clammed up like a shell where he had been concerned, but it had also been because of the fact that she had started noticing some things that had messed with her comfortable zone.

She had never expected for Syaoran to tell her that he was interested in her as more than a friend. Until he had said so, she had never even thought it possible. It was after talking with Tomoyo and her other friends that she found out that it had been obvious to everyone else.

Hadn't she ever noticed that while his practices were well watched by the female half of the school, he never received much in terms of gifts on Valentine's day? She was also one of the few girls that always got a present from him on white day. She had always though that he was just returning the custom since she gave him some chocolate every year, but maybe it was because she just hadn't paid much attention.

It was then that she started to see the little things. Like the fact that he blushed when they came into some sort of contact. That had her starting to have the same reaction. Every time that someone mentioned his name, it all sprung to mind once again. She didn't know how it all happened, but it only took one question from one of her companions for her to spill what had happened.

Before she knew it, all of the girls from the cheerleading group had huddled around her and had commiserated, laughed and criticized her. She did ask herself how she could have been so blind as to how easy it was to realize that sometimes feelings of friendship could lead to something more.

"I know I took too long to answer you," she had nothing else to say. Not really. There was nothing else that she could offer to make things right.

"I didn't mean to drag it out," Sakura waited for some type of response beyond his unseeing stare into her face.

"Well?" she asked impassively. It was just too much to not have a response. Still, she could now understand what he must have felt a week before. She felt doubt emerge. Maybe it was too late.

"I'm going to go then," she walked away with a determined pace. She was going to go inside of the house, find Yukito where he said he would be waiting for her, and have him drive her home. He had offered her a ride when she had found out that Syaoran was attending the party. He had been very sweet when she had explained the situation, sympathizing with her feelings whereas she would have been yelled at by Touya if he had been the one she had gone to for help.

She stumbled over an elevated part of the path, catching herself, but not before she felt a stabbing sensation inside her eyes. She felt like crying, but couldn't even muster more than just a sniffle. Her throat hurt, constricted and dry. She didn't know what else she was supposed to do or feel.

She took a deep breath. Again and again, differentiating the smells of wet earth and newly fallen raindrops. It calmed her down. Who cared if her little jaunt in the light rain might make her sick? She was in a holiday anyhow.

She abruptly stopped, coming upon a figure she had thought to have left behind. How the heck had he gotten in front of her?

Syaoran stood before her, out of breath, with a hand stretched out. She took it, giggling as he pulled her to him and kissed the daylights out of her. Her whole body tingled as his hands tentatively settled on her shoulders. Their temples came together when he reached for a lock of her hair.

She laughed as she thought of how messy she must look. If anyone saw them they would wonder if they had been rolling around the ground. Syaoran soon stared a sneezing fit, which had them both laughing.

"I don't think we're going to emerge unscathed from this little romp in the rain," Sakura pointed out as he cleared his throat.

"You still want to kiss me though?"

She did. This time, she pressed her whole body against his, pressing her breasts against his chest and enjoying the low noises that emerged from his throat and blended with hers.

"I think I must have fallen asleep because I can't believe this is real," Syaoran grimaced at how corny it sounded. Still, he said nothing but the truth of what he was actually thinking.

"Just wait until we both find ourselves confined to bed in the next few days with a cold and you'll see how real this is," she jokingly replied, entangling her hand through his hair and brushing it away from his face.

"You know, you need a haircut," her statement had him burst into laughter. She didn't understand why he found it so hilarious. It didn't seem to matter though, the light in his eyes was back. He was watching her with an expression she was sure to crave for the days, weeks, and months to come.

"You never did tell me why you came out here?" she prodded again, curious. She had an inkling now as to why, but it was a great way to get them going again.

"I just wanted a bit of air," he replied, taking her hand in his and leading them both towards the house. "I should do that more often."

Sakura gripped his hand in hers, forgetting about the indecision they had both faced a few moments in time. Everything that mattered was what was to come. Going back to the noisy house was not appealing when he was already beside her. "You know, I think I'd like that."

It wasn't long before the new pair found themselves in a secluded part in the garden, enjoying just their own company. The night air had never felt so clear and right to enjoy.

This came out of nowhere and as such, it progressed on its own pace. It was kind of angsty for a bit but it changed in how I took it when I got to the middle of the monologue. Sorry for it being so long since my last update but I've just been in a slump. Yes, I'm working on the third chapter of 40 Seconds, and it is going to go to six if what I have planned pans through. So, expect more updates!

MS

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