A/N I was inspired. Happy Reading.
I think a lot, but I don't say much…
A lot of people think that I do most of my speaking though the piano, which is in fact what I do, but whilst moving around so much its hard to find one so I can speak.
I carry around blank notepads with me I call my, daybooks. Pianos aren't available when you're shopping for groceries or walking down the street.
Sometimes, I can go through a whole book just by having a simple conversation with someone.
Hello, I'm Roderich Edelstein, what is your name?
Nice to meet you!
How are you today?
It makes me remember the times of when I thought speaking was important. Young times, simpler times, as well as idiotic times.
Have you ever met someone, had feelings for them, while they have feelings for you too, but when it all came down you didn't do anything to keep them when they're mere inches from giving up?
It's not a wonderful experience if you wanted to know.
When it was time for me to leave again, I knew that she didn't want to go, so why fight about it?
When you like someone, you want them to be happy, right?
I left, she was angry, we never spoke again.
Young. Simple. Idiotic.
It made me think of the words I could have said to her, it made me think of how useless words were at that time, and it made me think of how they in no way helped me save what me and Camille had.
Little by little I began to think how useless words could really be, and little by little, I began to lose them.
First it started with simple one words. Then two words. Then sentences. Then a soliloquy of words. No words that spewed from my mouth were no longer important.
If you can't even use words to save a relationship, then what is truly the use of letting words come from your mouth to begin with?
A year past. 5 years past. 20 years past.
And I haven't said a single word in that time span.
daybooks filled my apartment. Some I wanted to keep, some I was forced to throw way if I wanted to save space.
Now, life was simpler, older, and smarter.
Elizabeta is a very beautiful name.
I don't think my handwriting is all that great, but people can understand it and that's all that counts.
I would like to see you again soon too.
Elizabeta Héderváry and I became fast friends. She was extremely intelligent, and incredibly beautiful as well. She loved my piano playing, my daybooks, my handwriting, my everything. And I loved her hair, her smile, her button nose, and her everything.
It didn't take long before I started having feelings for her, just like with Camille, but it wasn't long before I fell in love with her, not like Camille what so ever.
Elizabeta was the first girl I ever loved, and the first girl I knew I was supposed to keep.
One year with her past. Then another. And finally…
Please marry me.
I wasn't really sure what to do when she started crying and started hugging the life out of me, probably because she was so happy. She slid the daybook over to her, took the pen and in the most beautiful cursive I've ever seen, she wrote,
I love you Roderich Edelstein.
I love you too Elizabeta Héderváry.
15 years flew past in our married life, and nothing had changed.
She still loved me, and I still loved her. That was all that mattered.
However, it was time to leave again. I've prolonged it long enough. She knew I would have to. I knew she wouldn't want to.
Would you like to travel with me?
She smiled softly and started to caress my cheek with her soft hand. They were softer than they were 15 years ago.
"I'm getting older, much much older than what I used to be when we first met. My face has wrinkles, my hair is starting to grey, my eyes are getting crummy, my hands are softer, and I just don't have the energy to travel like you. I'm sorry."
I flipped back a couple of pages and pointed to the page.
I'm sorry too.
While she was out grocery shopping, I started packing. I didn't pack everything, I'd figure she'd want something to remember me by. So I left a few clothes and the piano… Then again it's not like I can fold it up and take it along.
Later on that night, I put my cases by the door and laid on the couch, pulling the blanket over me. Why would she want to see me if I was leaving her tomorrow?
"Aren't you coming to bed? I know you're leaving tomorrow but at least we can sleep together one more time." She said from our bedroom.
I looked up, then sat up. I took the blanket with me. I'd figure I'd keep something as hers as well.
The airport was busy, even at 8 in the morning. But then again, when is an airport not busy?
I looked to my left, a young man reading a newspaper. I looked to my right, a young woman tapping her stiletto heal against the floor either out of nerve or impatience, I couldn't tell.
But I did wander if I wasn't in between them, would the young man stop reading the paper, and would the young woman stop tapping her heel against the floor and have a conversation? What if that one conversation lead them to the rest of their lives together?
Well we'd never know because I'm in the way of the two.
I stood up with my cases and sat on the other side. I didn't want to change their fates all because I was in the way.
"Roderich!" I herd someone call. It could have only been one person.
I saw Elizabeta from afar and met her halfway, throwing my arms around her.
"You left before I could say goodbye." She whispered.
I'm sorry, it would have been too hard.
"Well you don't have to write anything, I'll do all the speaking, okay?"
A simple nod.
"While your gone I need you you to be safe. Extra safe. When your crossing the street look both ways twice. A-And always get a little extra when you eat so you'll stay full." She took my hands in hers.
"You're hands are cold. You should've worn your gloves."
You're the one that's wearing only a jacket. You'll catch a cold like that.
"I already have one."
You'll catch a colder.
There, she was laughing and smiling again,but it didn't last for long.
Elizabeta pulled me close and hugged me as tight as she could. "I'm really going to miss you Roderich. I've loved you for so long and it's hard to see you go."
Was it her that wasn't fighting for me, or me that wasn't fighting for her? I really couldn't tell anymore.
She was beginning to remind me of Camille, I didn't want her to remind me of Camille.
Tears started to roll down her cheeks.
Please stop crying Eliza.
She shook her head as she wiped her tears. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying. I just want you to be happy."
Would you be unhappy if I left?
She shrugged her shoulders. "You being happy makes me happy…but I can't help if I'm a little upset once you leave."
I stomped my foot, which meant, "Then I won't go if you will be unhappy."
My heart was racing, I could hear it pounding in my ears. I was breathing heavy, and I think my daybook fell out of my hand too.
I was giving up traveling for her because when you love someone, you have to fight to keep them with you, even if it meant giving up something for them.
"Roderich, you just can't go on account of me not being happy. You won't be happy if you don't go."
That's because I'd be happier if I stayed with you.
"Is that even a word?"
I wasn't sure myself, all I knew was that she was smiling, and that was all that mattered.
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I even tapped my Adam's Apple, and sill nothing came out. Obviously after 35 years of not saying a single word your words get trapped and disappear forever. I sighed, maybe me and speaking were not destined to be.
"Don't try to speak it if you can't. I know it's been a while since you've spoken, and it's still okay if you write it down for me."
Let's go home.
She smiled and grabbed one of my cases and then my hand before slowly leading me out the exit.
Maybe Camille and I were not destined to be either.
But when I look at Elizabeta's smile or her nearly silver hair, or her small smile, or her tiny button nose, I start to think,
We were destined to be together, and that's all that really mattered in the first place.
A/N I just wrote 35 years in one fic. And now I can crawl under a rock and attempt to be content with this fic. Please Review.