A/N: I'm actually proud of what I wrote, because I usually don't finish stories (even oneshots) and I'm pretty slow at writing so making a fic of 1k words in an hour was actually pretty awesome (for me)! Have fun reading :)
Jonathan, Joseph, Jotaro and Josuke rushed to their seats with popcorn and drinks. The movie was about to start. As the words, "Rebel Without a Cause" showed on screen, they all ate their popcorn in excitement.
"Gotta dig the Dean!" Josuke mentally thought as he watched James Dean copying the sound of a police car.
Halfway through the movie Joseph felt something in his pants and looked down,
"Aw shit man... Not now..!" He thought, "Jotaro, save my seat. I need to go to the bathroom."
Jotaro didn't pay much attention as his mind was fixated on the movie, it was at the part where they have a chicken race. But he got the main idea.
Joseph jolted to the bathroom and locked himself in a stall, with his erection,
"This was probably because of Dean." He sighed as he unzipped his pants and started to fondle his nine-inch-nail.
He moaned softly as he began to masturbate violently. Joseph let out a grunt as he cummed all over the floor,
"That feels better." He breathed out in relief, but that soon ended as he saw his apple juice flowing out of the stall.
"Fuck!" He whispered and took out a huge amount of toilet paper and cleaned it up,
"Phew." He sighed, "Thank God no one came in."
"Oh.. There's some cum on my shirt." Joseph murmured and swiped his finger on it, licking it as if he just ate some scrumptious French fries.
Not even a minute passed since his last ejaculation, but he began to masturbate again, as his thick stick protruded up.
Joseph cummed all over the place, right out in the open where everyone could see as they walked in,
"Fuck! I'm such a horny bitch.." He lay down on his cum puddle and made a snow angel on it.
Suddenly he stopped and fished something out of his pocket; a pocket-sized bible,
"I was a mistake.. Why do I even exist...!? No one my age masturbates ten times every single day... I just want to die..." He thought as he cried into his puddle of cum, which was now salty, watery, cum.
Meanwhile, Jotaro poked Jonathan,
"Joseph hasn't come back from the bathroom yet." Jotaro whispered,
"I have no idea what he could be doing to miss such an extravagant movie! I am going to go check." Jonathan whispered back.
As Jonathan walked in the bathroom, he saw the salty, watered cum and Joseph weeping,
"Joseph, are you alright?" Jonathan asked, lifting the cum-covered Joseph up,
"I.. I'm fine." Joseph breathed out, a tear falling from his eye.
"Did you just... Masturbate?" Joseph gulps as he hears those words coming out of Jonathan's mouth, as if Jonathan was ejaculating them out,
"I... I'm leaving.." Joseph whispered, as he tightened the scarf around his neck,
"What do you mean?" Jonathan said as if he was Justin Bieber, "Joseph, it's all alright."
"Let's get you cleaned up, Joseph. No need to fret, we make mistakes." But no response came out. Jonathan, who was currently freaking out as if he was a freak on a leash, checked Joseph's pulse.
Nothing...
"Joseph.. Why.. Why would.. Why would you do this..?"
Meanwhile Jotaro is wondering why Jonathan, and Joseph weren't coming back. He watched as James Dean kissed Natalie Wood,
"Yare yare. I should go check on them. All this is so strange."
"Hey you guys okay?" He said as he walked in, soon seeing the sight of the salty, watery cum, Jonathan crying and Joseph in said Jonathan's arms,
"What the fuck happened?!" Jotaro asked, agitated like a cat if you touch them in the wrong place,
"Jotaro... Joseph.. He.. He's dead.."
"What?! How?!" Jotaro bent down to observe like Sherlock Holmes looks at his clients,
"Fuck.. No... Godammit..!" He whisper-shouts. And then Jonathan kisses Joseph.
"What the fuck, Jonathan?! Don't do necrophillia! You insane?!" But Jotaro's statement only ended in vain, as Jonathan stuck his burrito into Joseph's dead worm hole.
Jotaro internally barfs at the sight, and covers his mouth. Jonathan thrusts harder into Joseph's dead body's USB port. Jotaro can't it take anymore and stabs himself in his wrist with a blade.
Jonathan, who is currently caught up in fucking a dead body, doesn't see that Jotaro dies.
Meanwhile, Josuke has just finished watching the movie,
"Man, that movie was so dope! It brought me to tears! Huh? Wait where are the others? Probably in the bathroom. I need to wash my buttery hands anyway." Josuke thought.
As Josuke walked into the bathroom, Jonathan was currently about to ejaculate. Like a fountain, Josuke's hair was soon filled with Jonathan's cum.
Jonathan moaned in pleasure while Josuke was boiling up,
"What.. WHAT THE FUCK?! You ruined my hair, you son of a bitch! Jonathan, you're gonna pay!" Josuke yodelled, and ran towards Jonathan.
"Wait..what?" Was all that Jonathan said as he realised all of his actions. Josuke took out a blade and stabbed Jonathan right in the heart, about five or so times. Then Josuke just walked out.
Minutes passed after the three of them died. Outside the bathroom two guys were talking,
"That was such a cool movie! I'll definitely watch it again!" Kakyoin talked to Polnareff about Hannah Montana, "Anyway catch ya later, man." The two went their separate ways; Kakyoin to the bathroom.
As Kakyoin saw the Carnage Island, of bloody, salty, watery cum, three dead bodies; one in said bloody, salty, watery cum, another one near the sink, blood spewing out like lava from his wrists and another one leaning on the bathroom stall, with a huge hole in his heart.
Kakyoin stares for a second, shrugs and walks away. A few minutes later, Dio walks in. He sees the human carcasses, and dips his finger in the bloody, salty, watery cum and licks it. He nods his head in acknowledgement, steps over the dead bodies, washes his hands, whistles a tune of a Backstreet Boys song and walks out.
The terrible secret of Joseph is hidden from all people. Whoever walks in that bathroom, walks out thinking it was some sort of intense sex, fitting for a hentai comic. As the three JoJos rot in the bathroom, surrounded by their dry, bloody, salty, watery cum. Truly nothing else could have a more fitting name: "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure."
Le Fin.
A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed the story :D Tell me what you think in the comments. If you want a part two feel free to tell me ^u^ Have a nice day/afternoon/evening/night!