A/N: Ernie Macmillan, after the Battle of Hogwarts, dates a Muggle named Baz and struggles to keep his magical past a secret.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Ernie didn't usually invite his dates inside of his flat. He wasn't ashamed of it or anything like that; actually, he wasn't exactly sure why he had never done it. He supposed... This was his safe place, and he hated when he felt like his privacy was being invaded. His current boyfriend, Baz, was different than the rest, so after countless dates and meetings at Baz' flat, Ernie knew he had to offer. Now, Baz was inside his flat , and he was examining the art on the wall with what Ernie hoped was genuine interest, not disgust. "You draw these?" Baz asked, pointing particularly to one of a coyote howling to the moon.
Ernie nodded, practically wringing his shirt out with his hands. "Yeah."
Baz noticed his boyfriend's anxiety and turned to him, smiling and touching his hand. "There's no need to be nervous, Ernie," he told him. "There's nothing you could do that would make me run away from you." He winked. "Unless you've got a pile of dead bodies in the basement or garbage bags full of your toenails in the closet, then I think we're good."
Baz's words always made Ernie feel more...safe. He grinned. "What about dead bodies in the backyard? Is that okay?"
Baz laughed, and Ernie nearly melted. Baz's laugh was contagious and sounded like a dying monkey, but it always made Ernie smile. "Not quite," he responded. He slung his arm around Ernie's shoulders and kissed his cheek. "You want to watch a movie or something?"
They ended up watching an old thriller they'd both already seen but still sent goosebumps all along Ernie's arms. When Ernie jumped, Baz pulled him in closer. "I've got you," he whispered in his ear, and Ernie relaxed a bit more as Baz wrapped his arms around him. Before he knew it, Baz was asleep, his deep, steady breaths lulling Ernie to stay. Ernie regretted staying in his boyfriend's arms for the night, but eventually gave in and succumbed to a peaceful night.
Ernie woke when he felt Baz begin to stir behind him. They had both moved a bit from their spots on the floor where they had fallen asleep underneath a pile of three or four blankets, but not much. Ernie mumbled something about getting up and getting some breakfast but Baz whispered, "Stay."
It was a plead that Ernie could not ignore. He turned over on the floor so that he was facing his boyfriend, and Baz's hand touched his chin. He tilted his jaw a bit and then they were kissing, Ernie's mouth pressed against his, the both of them barely awake enough at the beginning but then having come alive with happiness. Baz smiled against his lips and rolled on top of him, kissing him even harder, his hands traveling over Ernie's face and shoulders and chest, and soon he was lifting the hem of Ernie's shirt and his fingers were sliding above his belt, past his hip, and Ernie jerked away so fast that Baz barely had any time to react.
Ernie was standing now, pulling his shirt down as far as it would go and still breathing hard. His hands were trembling, shaking as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Baz sat up straight, wide awake now. "Are you—did I do something—are you okay?"
"Fine—fine—fine," Ernie said, and his legs were trembling as well. Ernie put one foot in front of the other and began to open his mouth as if to say something else, but then closed it.
"Ernie, did I—did I do something? What—" He reached for his boyfriend, standing now, and the blonde flinched. "Ernie..." Baz then realized what it was that Ernie was so frightened of. When Baz's hand had slid underneath his shirt, his fingers had touched something; the skin of his back was not smooth. The section that Baz had reached had had raised lines on it, and... "Ernie?"
"Yes?" His voice was barely a whisper.
Baz stepped closer to him, and he backed up against the wall, still not making eye contact with his boyfriend. Baz, concerned, said, "Let me see your back."
"No." This one-word answer was sharper than the rest, definitive and firm.
"You've seen me shirtless, Ernie. It's just the same."
"It's not," he snapped, and then he adjusted his shirt again. "I think you should go."
"Ernie, just tell me what's going on. I don't mind, really. Nothing you say could make me—"
"I can't," he choked out, and Baz realized how close his boyfriend was to tears. "I...can't."
"Ernie, honestly, I—"
"No!" Ernie cried, and then he clapped a hand over his mouth. His whole body was shaking. "No. Leave, please. Just... Just leave. Please."
His words were all broken and scattered like his emotions seemed to be. "Ernie—"
"Please."
So Baz slid on his socks and shoes and did as Ernie asked.
Ernie spent the next few hours in the bathroom, cradling himself and crying. No one had seen those scars since they had been inflicted on him at the Battle of Hogwarts. He could remember it very clearly. He had been part of a failed D.A. mission to break into the dungeon; he had been the only one caught.
Ernie soon learned that Alecto Carrow did not care much for physical pain. Her brother did. It was just his luck that Amycus had been the one to snatch Ernie up by the collar and drag him inside the very dungeons he had been trying to break into. He was chained by his wrists to the wall like many of the other students in the dungeon, although his chains were lower. He was kneeling on the ground, his forearms completely pressed up against the cold stone of the wall and his knees sinking into a pool of blood belonging to the previous victim. Amycus was screaming... "You think you know better, stupid boy? You think that punishment is something to be taken lightly, Macmillan?"
Ernie also learned that Amycus took his punishments very seriously that day. His Dark Arts professor pulled out something from behind him; something that made a slightly satisfying noise as it slid and slapped against the floor. "Macmillan, you're going to learn what punishment is today." Ernie knew that sound; he had heard it rip screams and sobs from even the strongest of students. "And you're going to think twice about crossing my sister or me ever again."
Amycus Carrow didn't even give him a warning before the whip landed on his back, tearing the flesh open so that Ernie's blood joined the blood on the floor...
Ernie could not tell Baz even if he wanted to. It was illegal in the Wizarding world; it was clearly stated in the International Statute of Secrecy. Baz, once he saw the long scars littering Ernie's back, would think him a charity case, a masochist, or a psychopath. This was the main reason why Ernie had some of a preference to dating wizards. If Ernie ever got to a point where he felt comfortable to show said wizard his scars, then it would be easy to explain what had happened. However, although he and Baz were at the point where Ernie wanted to take it a step further, he couldn't show Baz his back. He had refused to go swimming with Baz and another couple only a month ago when they had been invited, for Ernie would not have been able to explain why the flesh of his back and the skin of his shoulders was mostly scar tissue. It made him feel lonesome and isolated, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn't bear keeping it a secret from him, but it was necessary.
Ernie loved Baz. He daydreamed about marrying him one day, although he supposed he had done that with any boyfriend or crush he'd had. Ernie wanted to tell him everything: about how he'd been shoved into a war at seventeen years old and whipped within an inch of his life for attempting to save students from being tortured to within an inch of theirs. He wanted to tell Baz how he woke up drenched in sweat some nights because he saw Amycus's face and the whip and he got so scared that he had to call Anthony Goldstein in the middle of the night so that he could reassure him that he was safe. He wanted to tell Baz about how he never wore that polyester underwear because it irritated the lowest of his scars or that he never wore shorts even on the hottest of days because Amycus Carrow had caned him until he bled after he'd made a comment about their own blood status...
This time Ernie was hovering above the dungeon floor, chained to the ceiling, his toes not even brushing the ground. He screamed and cried again as the cane landed on his lower thighs. The very humiliation of the ordeal... Oh, Ernie didn't want anyone to ever see... "Please, p-please, I'm sorry, sorry, I—"
"Shut your mouth, Macmillan!"
Ernie screamed as the cane landed on already open wounds, and he tried to become lost in his own mind, but every time he was struck, the pain woke him from his stupor...
He wanted to tell Baz that the scar on his lip was from when he'd nearly bitten through it while under the Cruciatus Curse for nearly all of his Muggle Studies class because they needed a half-blood to test it out on. He wanted to open up his heart to the younger man and tell him all that had happened to him. But this was why he almost exclusively dated those with magical blood; he could not speak as openly with Baz as he had been able to with his past boyfriend, a wizard named Bertram. He wished that magical blood ran through Baz's veins. He wished that he had never dated a Muggle in the first place; he had known when Baz had first asked him out that he would get to this point... This points where he could not remove his shirt without lying. But when he had seen the younger man and his beautiful green eyes and his mocha skin and curly hair and listened to him talk, making everyone in the room burst into laughter... He had fallen in love.
It took Ernie about a week to ring up his boyfriend again, and when he did, Baz answered on the first ring. "Yes?"
He could not get a single word out of his mouth. It was as if Baz's very presence took his words away.
"Ernie?" Right. Caller ID. Obviously, Baz knew it was him. Ernie could not just hang up and pretend that the call had never happened.
"I—" Ernie cut himself off. He had barely made a sound.
"Ernie? You there?"
He stared at the floor, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. "I—" He couldn't. He was too much of a coward and he loved Baz too much. He couldn't bear to break it off with him.
"Ernie, if this is about what happened, then I don't want you to worry about it, yeah? We'll work it out, love, I know we will. I'm not going to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to—"
"Can you come over?"
Baz, through his silence, seemed startled by the sudden voice that came forth through the telephone. Ernie had been surprised himself as well. "Well—yeah, of course. When do you want me?"
"Now," Ernie said quickly. "Please."
"Of course. See you in ten, yeah?"
"Yeah," he whispered back, and then he hung up.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Next chapter coming soon.
Challenges used:
365 Prompts - #248 (restriction) no more than two people in story
Fanfiction Writing Month: November [1936]
Are You Crazy Enough To Do It Challenge - #109 (character) Ernie Macmillan
If You Dare Challenge - #95 (lonesome)
The Golden Snitch - Through The Universe - #199 (Van Allen Belts) - (object) belt
The Golden Snitch - Ollivander's Wand Shop - Minerva McGonagall - Fir - Write about a survivor.