After Harry's recent departure and then the discovery about her father, Caitlin feels lost and heartbroken. It's then that she almost makes a mistake, luckily interrupted.
It was too much.
All too fast and all too much and she could still feel her head spin, she could still feel the fresh scar on her heart from the sudden blow.
She just couldn't understand why he left so abruptly. One moment he was back to himself and with them and smiling and thanking them and telling them he loved them and the next… he was just gone. He left as though he was a speedster, explaining that he desperately needed to see his daughter. But was that all, really? Caitlin wondered, her head still spinning because of everything that had happened recently. Was that all there was? He just abandoned them, his family as he called them and ran back to his earth to be with his daughter. All right, she could definitely understand that. She really could. What was strange to her was, yet, what reasons did he have to stay on his earth. He didn't really belong there anymore, did he? Yes, he did have Jesse and needed to see her, but his daughter was a grown up and a Flash to that. She didn't need her father hovering over her twenty four seven. She needed her own life, separate from his. It was the natural order of things, right? Parents eventually had to let their kids go, watching over them from afar, making sure they were ok, but they had to allow them to live their lives. Or maybe Caitlin was just bitter because her own father had left her for an unknown reason and one that she still couldn't understand. Was it because of some kind of cold powers? Killer Frost through Cecile had said that she found Thomas and that he was like this all the time. Even if, even if Caitlin inherited her powers from him, why wouldn't he just be honest with her? The worst truth would be better than this ugly, horrible lie. He made her believe he was dead and she just couldn't get over that fact.
The worst, yet, was the feeling she had inside. She hated herself for it. She hated to admit it even to her own self, but it was true. She was weak. She was weak because the man she couldn't stop thinking about definitely didn't deserve her love. All this time, ever since he'd left, he'd been all she could think about. Even when she discovered the truth about her father, she just wished Harry was there to take her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be all right, that he… She swallowed over the bitter taste suddenly appearing in her mouth. She wished he'd told her he loved her. Or had he…?
She couldn't stop thinking about the look on his face right before he left. He said that he loved them all and he hugged them and just then, for the briefest of moments it was as though he hesitated, looked down, saying I love you too and risking a stealth glance in her direction before basically running away. What was that all about? Or maybe it was nothing. Maybe that was just Harry being Harry and she read too much into in. And she would have been fine. Truly. She would have been able to maybe put that behind her and focus on solving the mystery surrounding her father, but… Yes, but.
Sherloque Wells arrived to help them catch Cicada and she couldn't help but feel the attraction there. It wasn't as though it didn't matter which Wells's doppelganger it was. It wasn't like she desired them all. That would be so, so wrong. But he was charming unlike Harry and handsome just like Harry and… he simply wasn't afraid. He seemed like the guy that knew what he wanted and was ready to risk everything to get it because life was too short, his exs all testaments to that. Though that part Caitlin really didn't like and felt slightly sick when she found herself staring at the man, looking for differences and similarities and then remembering about all those ex wives. It was a little bit too much.
She kept her distance, focusing on solving the mystery of her family, trying to find her dad despite the fear rapidly raising inside of her. But she had to know the truth. She owed it to herself to find it, because it was like Cisco said, she'd rather face it than always wonder. The uncertainty would eventually kill her or drive her crazy.
She did not foresee Sherloque surprising her at her lab while she worked and asking for her assistance though. She so did not see him provoking her either and boy, did it worked! Only the ugly truth was again that she didn't punch him because he wanted her to. She was better than this. She punched him because suddenly, she didn't see his face anymore, she saw Harry's and fury overcame her; the only way to unload the tension was to just do what he asked her to. And it felt oddly satisfying, if still so very wrong.
Next thing she didn't see coming was Sherloque bringing her coffee the following morning just the way she liked – which indicated that he paid attention.
And just then, in the late afternoon after dropping a few hints here and there and meeting with her blatant ignorance, he managed to corner her in the hall when she was heading down to the speed lab.
"Um… was there something that you wanted?" she asked, her back meeting the wall as he came closer, practically pushing her into it.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, dear doctor Snow, but… I do sense some tension here between us."
"Wha… Wh… What?" she finally articulated, completely taken aback, her eyes opening widely and her heart starting to race. Because his eyes. Those damn beautifully blue eyes that always were like the cleanest streams or heavens above and, on the contrary to all the different doppelgangers' features, this was the one constant that never seemed to change.
"Je suis desolee, my dear doctor, but I think there's something here, qui?"
Those damn eyes, she thought, not able to breathe anymore. And he did come so close she could nearly feel his own breath on her face and it was all…
"I don't… I don't know what you…"
"You know, I have wasted enough time in my life and I'll be damned if I let another occasion just pass me by," he continued, still pushing it and she really didn't know how or where to escape.
"Sherloque, I really don't think you need a seventh wife," she finally said, which of course was the dumbest thing ever because she would be damned before she'd marry him. Or any other version of Harrison Wells for that matter. This man would forever be her doom and maybe it was time to break the cycle.
"Why the count? Don't you want to be the last?" he asked and then his lips got so damn close that she suddenly seemed to lose her will to fight. Why the hell not? She asked herself. She'd never gotten to kiss Harry and she'd so wanted to. Maybe she deserved at least a sample. Though this man was not Harry, her heart was screaming at her, but her head was hell bent on revenge even if he wouldn't know it.
Sherloque, encouraged even more, put his hands on both sides of her face and he got even closer, nearly pressing his lips against her own when…
"Well, I see you've found an adequate replacement."
No.
Caitlin stilled and Sherloque moved away, dropping his hands from her face, making room for her to breath and thank God for that!
No, Snow's stubborn mind still refused to believe what happened. He couldn't just be here! He couldn't choose a worse moment to come back! Or better, she wasn't sure. If he hadn't, she would've let Sherloque kiss her and what the hell was she even thinking?!
She didn't hear anything else, so she finally forced herself to open her eyes, catching just a glimpse of a dark figure retreating that must've been Harry turning around and returning to where he came from.
Everything inside of her screamed no again. She didn't want him to leave. She wanted to know what he meant by what he said. She wanted to know what he'd meant all those times he'd said something to her that seemed to have a hidden meaning. She wanted to know the truth. It was time. It was time for the truth in all colors and shades.
"Oh, that makes sense," she vaguely heard Sherloque say as he must've realized what was going on and why she seemed to want him and in the same time not want him. After all, he was a damn good detective. "Oh, go after him, dear. I can see what your heart truly desires. A counterpart… yes, that makes perfect sense."
She was already running towards where Harry disappeared to and her stomach dropped as she recognized the way. She still didn't know why he came back to this earth, but she was sure that he was going to leave it again and that it was all her fault. Maybe she wasn't delusional, after all. Maybe what her heart had been telling her this whole time was true. He did have feelings for her. He had strong, powerful feelings that he couldn't seem to handle when working with her just like she couldn't. And now she might've lost him forever because he saw her about to kiss his doppelganger, just another counterpart that came to this earth to replace him.
Only there was no replacing Harry Wells. Ever.
"Damn it, Harry!" she finally screamed at him when she stood in the door and saw him activate the breach, ready to jump through to his earth.
He came to a stop, but he didn't turn to face her. Instead he just raised his hand to his face and rubbed on his forehead when sighing heavily before he set it on his hip.
"What was that? You come back and then you just leave without a word?" she prompted, by now angry with him.
"Well, clearly you don't need me anymore," he said, the tone of his voice indicating that he was hurt but was doing his best to cover it up.
"We'll always need you."
"Yeah? How long did it take for you to find another Harrison Wells to replace me?" He suddenly turned on his feet, pain visible on his face. It wasn't that obvious as he'd learnt to always hide his true feelings, but she knew him all too well to be fooled by it.
"For the record, we did not replace you. We needed help catching a serial killer called Cicada and we were offered a master detective. We didn't even realize it was your doppelganger."
"Oh," was all that escaped his lips.
"Besides, you have no right to hold anything against us! You left! I just got you back and you were gone! Poof. Gone to your earth again! I'm so sick of this, Harry!"
"Wait… You just got me back?" he picked up on that immediately, his mouth agape.
"Um…" Caitlin just now realized what she let slip, but maybe it was a good thing, after all. Maybe for once in her life she had to be honest with him so she could either see if they had a future together or so she could simply get it off her chest and try to move on. "Harry, I understand the need to see Jesse, I really do, but… What are you even doing on your earth? Running S.T.A.R. Labs? How's that one going for you?"
"Horrible," he answered honestly and she was left speechless because she did not expect that. "Yeah." He waved his hand before bringing it to his forehead to rub on the skin there again. Then he started gesticulating wildly. "All this time I thought… I mean… that we… ah…" a sigh followed. "That doesn't matter. What I mean is that every damn time I got closer to saying something, to making a move, something always happened. Either a girl spilling coffee all over us or me losing my intelligence because I was actually too stupid like for a genius…" He shook his head and closed his eyes briefly. "I'm doing it all wrong. Saying it all wrong. What I'm trying to tell you is…"
"Do you have feelings for me?" she just straight asked him because that was the gist she got from his jumbled explanation.
"Yes!" he answered, seeming surprised by his own honesty.
"I do, too," she simply confessed and for a moment neither of them knew what to say.
"Is that why I saw you kissing my doppelganger?" he eventually asked bitterly.
"I did not kiss him."
"You were about to."
"Because I was… God, I don't even know! You left! I thought we had something or were about to have something and you just freaking left and I found out my father was alive all this time and that he might have the same powers and maybe I actually inherited them from him and I really needed you, but you weren't there!" Caitlin suddenly erupted. "And Sherloque was shooting me all those hot glances, indicating his interest and I missed you… I'm sorry. If I did kiss him, it would be a horrible mistake."
"Your father is alive?" Harry seemed shocked. "What else I don't know? When did it all happen?"
"Pretty much right after you left."
His opened his eyes widely. "Oh, God. I'm such an asshole."
"Yes, you are," she confirmed, actually amused by that and he shot her an angry look. "What? You are! You should've said something!"
"I never thought you deserved me. You know I'm broken. You know I have a painful past and on top of all of that, I'm much older than you."
"I don't care. And personally, I think you've moved on a long time ago, Harry, you just haven't realized it," she risked saying that and making a few steps towards him until she arrived right in front of him, looking up into his eyes and never wishing to stop.
He looked right back.
"That's true, actually," he admitted and then shocked her completely by cupping her face and just pressing his lips against hers.
She groaned at the feel of his mouth on hers, her hands immediately going to his face and then moving to bury themselves in his hair, pressing him closer, tasting him and never wanting to stop.
The kiss grew deeper and hotter, but it was still slow and amazing. It was everything she could ever dream of and more and in that moment she was extremely grateful to him for interrupting what would be one of her biggest mistakes.
The kiss came to a stop and Harry just rested his forehead against her own, releasing a deep sigh, his hot breath wafting over her skin, causing her to shiver, causing the need for him that she felt to run even deeper.
"I'm still older than you," he eventually pointed out.
"I don't care. I want you."
He smiled and then kissed her again before finally moving away.
"So… nothing between you and the other me?"
"That is not you. There's only one you, Harry," she assured him when putting her hand just over his heart and feeling it beat wildly. She liked that.
"You know how to win me back, don't you?" he joked.
"You were never mine to begin with, but I'd like that idea."
"I'm sorry. It's just taken me a while to accept this, to open up, to… show you that I do want this."
"It's ok. It was worth waiting for."
"Now, I need you to tell me everything. I might not have my genius back, but my brain is still smart. Lay it all on me!"
Caitlin giggled as he put his arm around her and they walked like this back to the hall, ready to find the rest of the team.