AN: I am really sorry if there are a few grammatical errors. English just isnt my native language ':D
Sora no Otoshimono
Heaven's lost property
EX: Confusing feelings
"Master, the food is ready." Ikaros stood in the doorframe and called me to dinner while I looked at one of my 'magazines'.
"Ok, I'll be right there." I responded slightly annoyed. Ikaros then went to pick up the others and we all sat down at the table. At a way too loud and crowded table.
Everyone was talking all over the place, causing me a headache. After what felt like an eternity, Ikaros arrived with plates in her hands and set them on the table and sat down next to me.
"Yaay finally, I'm so hungry!" rejoiced Astraea, which had already devoured half of her food. I just tried to ignore the others and started to eat, but something was strange. The food was a bit spoiled. The others does'nt seem to notice it. Usually Ikaros always makes perfect food, except for this one exception. She seemed to have noticed my facial expression.
"Master, I'm sorry if it's not quite as good as usual. It's just ... something went wrong." she said sadly.
"That's not so-" I was interrupted by a slap on the table.
"Astraea! Stop taking my food!" Nymph roared angrily. They kept getting louder and louder while they were arguing until my headaches became unbearable.
"Could you two just stop fighting for one day! I really just want my peace back! You all should disappear!" I shouted at them angrily and went to my room with the rest of my food. Everything suddenly went silent.
I slammed my door and sat down on the floor. I finished my meal while I tried to calm down.
After about 15 minutes I went back to the kitchen to rinse the plate. The rest seem to have been done by the others.
Where are they anyway? A moment later I noticed a small note on the fridge: We went shopping together.
"Ahh finally a little rest!" I shouted as I threw myself on the futon in my room. But after a while ...
"And what do I do now?" I stared motionless at the ceiling, hoping an idea crashes down on me. In that moment...
Something crashed through the wall, destroying half the room in a big bang.
"Does that always have to be taken so literally?" I yelled in anger as I stood up jerkily.
"Master?" the voice asked. I should have known it. I got up in rage.
"Ikaros, what the-" I stopped as the dust settled.
Her face ... It looked like she needed to hold back tears. Since the world returned I somehow just couldnt get mad at her anymore ...
"Why are you here?" I asked her after I calmed down. She just looked at the floor and said: "I just forgot to ask you if you want something specific from the store ..."
"No ... no not really." I did not know what else to answer. She just turned around.
"Master should I just disappear too?" Ikaros asked quietly "No, no!" I instantly replied, but Ikaros still looked down at the ground.
"But you said that you want to have youre peace back and that we all should disappear ..." Single tears fell of her cheek. I briefly thought of what to answer her.
"Well how should I put that ... You're an exception from that dersire." I could really not think of anything better at the moment. I really do not want her to disappear.
"An exception ..." she whispered to herself as she flew away again.
What is going on? It's all over! Should'nt everyone be happy right now? Since we are reunited she does not even stay in my room anymore while I am sleeping and often she seems like she is daydreaming ... Why ...? I asked myself so many questions that my head started to hurt again.
"Maybe Sugata knows more, he still seems to be the most competent of them all." , I convinced myself and got ready without wasting any time. I was just too worried. I needed to do something.
About 30 minutes later, I arrived at his tent.
"Sugata?!" I exclaimed, as he was nowhere to be seen.
"Yes?" Sugata called out of his tent and slowly came out, "Ah Tomoki, I was expecting you." He pushed his glasses up with his finger.
"You were-" I asked confused, but interrupted myself,"Well, nevermind. I'm just here to ask if you know why Ikaros behaves so weird lately."
Sugata did not answer right away. He looked straight into my eyes before adjusting his glasses again.
"Hmm ... so it is true ..." he said calmly. I just gave him a confused look.
"Listen to me, I'm asking you something now, but I do not expect you to answer. Understood?" he said. I just nodded, even though I was more than a little confused.
"Well, you told Ikaros several times to behave like a human being. Maybe you-" I interrupted him.
"But she has extreme difficulties with that. Out of everyone she even has the biggest ones." I told him impatiently.
"I wanted to come to that right now. So where was I? Ah, but as you just said, Ikaros has extreme adjustment difficulties, so I have made up a little theory. " He paused for a moment, "You do not really treat her like a human." When I heard that I did not even know what to say.
"How the hell do you want to know that? " I yelled angrily at him. He didnt move an inch.
"As I said, it's a theory, I've heard that you do not treat Ikaros like a real girl in some areas. Sohara told me about, that she asked you why you did not treat Ikaros like everyone else. Youre only excuse was: She has wings, which is pretty counterproductive if you want her to behave like a human if you ask me." I had no words for what he just said. He turned around but stopped in front of his tent.
"Be honest with yourself." Those were the last words before he disappeared back into his tent.
What did he mean ...? I should be honest with myself?
...
I looked in the clouds. How they move. How they deform. How I rushed by them with her back then ...
When she confessed everything to me ... When she burned and disappeared in my arms ... At that moment, I did not care about anyone. I just did not want Ikaros to die, so I asked her to turn back ... No, I ordered her. I have never felt bigger pain in my life before. Why did she have to confess that to me in such a situation as she showed me her beautiful smile while her body dissolved ...
"I love you ..." I whispered to myself. Yes, that's what she has said to me. My forehead was getting hotter and my stomach started to hurt.
What is that? I asked myself as I went down on my knees.
"I better go home otherwise the others will start to worry." I said as I saw the setting sun.
Back at my house, I saw Nymph standing in the garden from afar, waving at me. The sun already set and it was completely dark.
"Heelllo, where have you been?" she asked me.
"I just visited Sugata." I said without showing any of my pain.
You have been there fo a lot of time. We've been waiting here for you for 2 hours. Supper was already made and thanks to Astraea there is nothing left. She sleeps on the coucch in the living room right now." she said slightly annoyed.
Did it take me that long to get back?
"I'm not hungry anyway." I said as I walked through the front door.
"Wait, Tomoki are you alright?" She flew in front of me in the hallway. At the same time Ikaros came around the corner.
"Master you look pale" she said with a worried look.
"No, no, I am alright!" She suddenly touched my forehead with her hand.
"Scan of body temperature, 38.2 degrees, elevated temperature," she said, "Master, you have a fever, you need urgent rest." She continued to stare towards the floor again.
"Yes, I know. I wanted to go to my room anyway." I pointed towards my room.
"Yes your room is repaired again." Nymph said as she sat down on the emptly spot on the sofa with a chip bag in her hand.
"Okay, I'm off." I went through my door as fast as possible. It hurted me to just leave Ikaros like that. Arent the others noticing that she seems to be in a bad mood? I stopped myself before I asked myself too many questions again because I really needed some rest right now. As soon as I laid down on my futon, I fell asleep.
Suddenly I could feel that my body got colder so I decided to open my eyes. I found myself in the middle of clouds without moving an inch. Below me was a huge sea.
Master hates me.
"What?" I cried in alarm, trying to make out the source of the voice, but there was nothing than the cold air that surrounded me.
He avoids me and my feelings all the time. I should just disappear.
"Ikaros, what are you saying?" Furthermore, nothing is seen except all the clouds.
I am trying so hard to show master how important he is to me, but the only thing he does is constantly rebuke me. What am I doing wrong? I'm trying so hard ...
"Ikaros ... I ..." The feeling from earlier returned.
"I should just disappear ..." whispered Ikaros, who has now appeared behind me. Her face looked very tormented and she was trembling all over, "I guess I am not worthy."
Suddenly she fell like a puppet.
"Nooooo IKAROS!" I screamed as I tried to reach for her, even if that was impossible. From a distance I was only able to see how she slammed on the water surface. Tears streamed dowm my face.
"IKAROS!" I shouted over and over.
Master wake up!
"Ikaros" I shouted again. This pain is unbearable. Something wanted to blurt out of me, but it just couldnt.
Suddenly the picture of my room returned.
"Ikaros" I said quieter. I realized this was not real. It was just a bad dream.
"M-Master, it's alright, D-Did you have a dream?" asked a confused Ikaros, which I held in a tight hug. It took a few seconds for me to regain control of myself.
I was just about to break away when a sentence hitted my head.
Be honest with yourself.
What I really wanted right now is to keep Ikaros close to me. I cant fool myself anymore. I did not want to lose her again.
"Yes ... It was just a dream ... a nightmare rather ..." I said, completely exhausted. Tears were still running down my cheeks. I slowly released Ikaros from the hug. Her face was red like a tomato.
"Master ... you're completely exhausted. You really need some rest ... S-Shall I bring you something to eat?" she asked uneasily. The situation obviously overwhelmed her.
"No ... But something to drink would not be bad." I wiped the tears away from my face. Ikaros quickly disappeared out of my room and I laid back in my bed.
Thats what Sugata meant ... I understand now... I thought while I held a hand on my chest.
Then Ikaros came back through the door with a small glass of water in her hand.
"Thank you." I took the glass and gave her a smile. Her cheeks turned red again. She was about to get up but I really wanted her to stay. So I said...
"Ikaros, why dont you just stay here with me again?" I asked her. My heart started to race. She needed a few second before she answered.
"Y-Yes Master." she stuttered as she kneed next to my futon.
Come on, you are hurting her when you are trying to keep distance! I motivated myself.
"N-No Ikaros. I meant here." , pointing to the empty space in my bed.
"Hmm?" Ikaros was startled. After a short while, she nodded and slowly laid down next to me. I could feel the heat coming from her. It just felt right. We were both lying side by side so we could see each others faces.
"Ikaros, I still owe you an answer." I looked deep into her eyes.
"Master ... I ..." She was desperately trying to find the right answers. I just put my hand on hers to calm her down a bit.
"I know how you must have suffered ... You felt like that all the time. You always were afraid but I never recoqnized it ... Until you ..." I paused a long time. Her eyes were filled with tears. Was she afraid now too? I hope I can take that fear from her now. I remembered the day she came to me. When she fell from the sky. Everything we experienced, including our first kiss. Even then, I was just fooling myself. Even then I felt something for her, but I processed it by teaching and correcting her all the time ... Then I thought back to the day ... When she sacrificed herself and told me ...
"I love you."
Ikarus eyes widened. All walls inside her seemed to break. Water poured from her eyes.
"Master!" she cried while she took me into a loving embrace. I hope all her tears are now a symbol of bliss instead of fear and insecurity.
"I love you too Master, so much!" she cried. Her embrace became even tighter. A bit too tight.
"I-Ikaros h-hug too t-tight." She instantly loosened her arms a bit. We looked deep into each other's eyes again. Our heads automatically approached each others until we met in a true first kiss. All the stress, all the tension fell off with a jolt from both of us. After several minutes, we broke the kiss to meet each other's eyes again.
"I will always be by your side, my master." Ikaros whispered softly. She smiled. She showed her beautiful smile again. But this time I could enjoy it. This time, nothing separates us anymore.
"I will always be by your side." I said and returned her smile. With these words, I slowly fell asleep in Ikarus arms. From now on, I am no longer fleeing from my feelings. Never again.
TheMater