Disclaimers: I don't own Digimon, Gundam Wing, Outlaw Star, Tenchi
Muyo/Universe/Tokyo/In Love, Inu-Yasha, Evangelion, or any other anime/manga even
*mentioned* in this story. All shows/characters/hottnesses belong to their respective
companies/owners/dominators. Though I wish I owned Gene… ::sighs::
Revenge… ::Syaoran holds up a sign that reads Cue Dramatic Music::
It is a perfectly wonderful day in the real world—that is, the world of Twilight-chan, our
dear authoress—and we find our hero—or heroine, if you want to get specific—lounging
peacefully in her hammock—although she doesn't have one—sipping an ice-cold glass of
lemonade and enjoying her uneventful, albeit comfortable summer. Wheeeenn…
"This is her house, right?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know??"
"I thought you knew!!!!"
"You had the map, baka!!!"
"I thought you did!!!"
"ARRGH!!"
…she hears two frighteningly familiar voices coming towards her. Opening her eyes
behind rose-tinted lenses (Ha.), she considers who the voices could belong to. Either
Michael Reisz and Jake Someone are in her backyard, or something very, very
impossible…
"Ta…Taichi? Yamato? Wha—how did—but you're…"
"Look, did I not hand you the map before we left???"
"Yes! You didn't! Either you handed it to my evil twin, or mmph!"
Taichi's sentence is cut off by a savage kiss from his blonde companion. Twilight-chan,
the now almost-facefaulting human, is gaping at the two animated characters invading
her property. The all-too-famous Enemies With Chemistry are making out a few feet
away from her. She closes her eyes, hoping they will disappear.
"You are so cute when you're pissed."
No such luck. They've finished, and advance towards TC, who is staring into her
lemonade in disbelief, and pouring it, splattering, to the earth below. "What am I on?"
she whispers in awe, and turning to the two evilly grinning teenagers in front of her, gets
a very scared look on her face.
"This can't be happening…"
Bum-bum-baaaaaaa! Meanwhile…
"Gene, remind me again where we're going?"
"It's a surprise."
"And why didn't we bring Aisha or Mel?"
"They'll get in the way."
"Isn't it hard to pilot without Melfina?" asks a black-haired, tall and slender woman in
the other control seat.
"It's a hell of a lot harder with you two yammering the whole time!!!!"
"Geez, no need to get profane…"
"'F' YOU!!!!" comes the roar from the cherry red haired man desperately toggling the
controls.
"Excuse me, but I do believe it was a rather foolish maneuver to leave Melfina behind.
And I also would like to know why you installed a time-traveling mechanism into my
hard drive."
Gene, on his last nerve, turns his head slowly up to the blinking circle above him. He
takes a deep breath, opens his mouth wide, and with the volume of a stampeding wild
animal roars "BIIIITE MEEEE!"
Meanwhile…
"So, uh, heh, why are you guys here?"
TC has grown very uncomfortable in the normally nice hammock. Taichi and Yamato
exchange looks of mirrored deviousness and lean closer, forcing the girl back a few
inches.
"Revenge."
"R-revenge??? For what?!" she shouts, pushing her sunglasses farther up her nose. They
roll their eyes and sigh, their synchronized actions looking horribly cute and making
Twilight-chan squirm uncomfortably.
"Isn't it obvious? I'll give you a teeny hint: Hamike-sama," says Yamato with a slight
growl. TC frowns and crosses her arms across her quite annoyingly three-dimensional
chest. "But you liked that, didn't you?" she asks huffily, closing her eyes again. But she
opens her eyes when she hears the soft tutting from the blonde.
"Maybe I did. But Taichi didn't." The said boy narrows his eyes and prods TC with his
forefinger. "Yeah, how come *I* wasn't invited to this little 'houseguests' thing?" he
asks angrily. TC averts her eyes, searching for a believable explanation and biting her lip
madly.
"Well, ah, you see… I wrote that during a point in which I wasn't… you know, a…
fan…" she says, clearly anxious of what Taichi will think of this. He grins, rolling his
eyes and throwing his hands in the air.
"Oh! *I* see! You weren't a fan of me *yet,* but you let 01 Sora in the party?" he mocks,
obviously embarrassing Twilight-chan to the point that she blushes and admits to the
crime.
"Hey! I was on a major brownie high, anyone could have done it!" she yells back,
immediately regretting her decision as Yamato leans forward with those azure eyes
narrowed. "Good. Thank you for informing us. By the way, I think *we* have some
*guests* for *you,* 'all-powerful authoress.'" TC visibly pales, and doesn't seem to
notice the other voices approaching quickly. Instead she gnaws on her lip some more, and
wonders again whether her brother slipped something into her lemonade.
"Nimryou ryoukan, huh buddy?"
"Hnh."
"Aw, come on, can't I get a real reply?"
"Really, you haven't spoken this whole time!"
"He doesn't usually."
"I prefer silence."
"Well, at least he's not like Maxwell…"
"Hey!"
The conversation finally reaches TC's ears and she decides to pale some more, actually
beginning to worry Yamato and Taichi, who have noticed she's gone paler than Ken
Ichijouji in winter (and that's pale). The Gundam pilots have been the target of most of
her humor fics (actually, all of them to date), all of which ending with either Wufei
crying or Quatre corrupted (in some cases, both) and are going to want a rather large
chunk of anime-style revenge. She wonders what they are planning to do, and, if
imaginable, pales even more thinking about it. Taichi and Yamato slink off to let the
Gundam pilots have their quality time (and have a makeout session in the process).
"So."
"So." TC replies none too cheerily to the Yuy Glare of Death that is much worse in real
life than she expected.
"Not much you can do here." comes the low growl of the Yuinator.
"Nope. Heh…" she laughs nervously as Quatre begins to utilize his maddening Arabian
Aquamarine Puppy-dog Eyes and making her feel uncontrollably guilty.
"Can't 'sic your Gundam pilots' on themselves, right?" adds Duo, grinning just about as
deviously as Yamato and Taichi had before.
"Heh. Guess not…"
"Dot. Dot. Dot." TC looks into the emerald eyes of Trowa Barton, utilizing the Latin-
French-Canadian Silent Glare of Death™ after the last three words had left his mouth.
"Look, I'm sorry, but…"
"If you take out all his "nimryou kanju" crap in the series, I talk more than Heero."
"And that's not saying much!" says a chibified Koushirou, popping up from the corner
and grinning, before cowering under the four deathglares (and the one pair of Arabian
Aquamarine Puppy-Dog Eyes) and running away terrified.
"Don't mind him. He's just happy with his new wife," TC says nonchalantly. A
respective chibified Washuu pops up from the opposite corner with forefinger raised.
"Yep! We greatly enjoyed our honeymoon in hammerspace!" She then looks a bit
troubled and sweatdrops before adding, "Thought Koushi-chan *did* get a few bumps
while we were there. Most of the time we were in an armored spaceship that IIIII
invented!" TC proceeds to shove Washuu out of the picture and continue her rather
frightening conversation with her much-loved bishonen.
"Number one. In the dub, which is the only version of the TV series you have seen, I only
refer to 'justice' about twice. In Endless Waltz…"
"Which TC just finished watching!" The Koushirou returns, and Wufei sweatdrops,
batting him away.
"…in Endless Waltz, it's more of 'PEACE, KISAMA!' than 'JUSTICE, KISAMA!' Get
the picture?" TC squirms under Wufei's Chinese Justice Glare of Death™, that although
isn't as intense as Heero's, is just as intimidating.
"Well, you see, all the other fanfics…"
"ALL the OTHER fanfics? You mean to tell me you PLAGIARISED? INJUSTICE!"
Wufei shouts, before clapping both hands over his mouth as Duo tuts and waves his
index finger. Wufei regains his composure and continues.
"What do you mean by that?" he asks, a bit more civil and refined. TC's eyes seem to go
sparkly, though how she accomplishes this the Gundam pilots have no idea, Twilight-
chan not being animated.
"My idols! The very authoresses that inspired me to spin the threads of fate for
unexpecting—I mean, unfortunate anime characters! People like Ayanami_chan, Foon
and Spork, and all the humor authors down at Aishiteru!" she cries, waving to whoever
might be reading this fits the description. All five Gundam pilots roll their eyes until TC
is looking at them again, still with a miniscule fear in the back of their mind that she just
might come the evil authoress that they—Quatre in particular—know all to well.
Meanwhile…
"Gene, what the hell is going on?"
"It's that new time-travel program I installed."
"Are you sure about this, Gene? We've fallen to many an enemy as a result of your
plans…" The bokuto-toting assasin sips her tea daintily, much in contrast to the heavy
convulsions the ship is going through.
"That never happened. And if that bullshit of a computer so much as…"
"Gene, I wonder about the safety of the crew after we land. What do you think will be the
reactions of the people of the past?"
In an action much like the one before, Gene opens his mouth to nearly facefault-size…
"UURUUSAAAIIII!"
Back at TC's house…
"So, ah, how exactly did you guys *get* here? I mean, you are animated and all."
"That, my friend, is what's known as a plot hole. It's when unexplainable things…"
"I *know* what a plot hole is, Taichi! I *am* a fanfictionalist, after all."
"Damn, that's a big word." TC and her slew of bishonen are now enjoying some
lemonade, which has been deemed un-drugged by the still somewhat unsure girl. They
are waiting on their other 'guests' to arrive, and in the meantime, decided they would
have a little chat. Quatre has dismissed the lemonade for his so-called-tea, and is sipping
it between convulsive twitches and a few bursts of maddened giggles. The four Gundam
pilots take no mind, as they've gotten used to Quatre's odd 'tea' sipping behavior. TC,
however, gets more and more nervous with every spurt of insanity.
A roaring sound comes from above, and TC, looking quickly to the sound, is not as
surprised as she should be at seeing a cherry-red animated starship land deftly in her
backyard. Leaving a rather large crater.
"Mom and Dad will have my head for this…"
"Where are they, anyway?" asks Yamato curiously.
"That, my friend, is what's known as a plot hole. It's when unexplainable things…"
"Didn't I just say that?" Their conversation is halted as the sort of spinney-pulley ladder
thingy extends down from what they now have identified as the Outlaw Star. A tall man
with hair that seems oddly the same color as the ship, followed by a short blond eleven-
year old and a slender, dark-haired woman descend from the red ship.
"Gene, buddy, my man! How have you been isAishawithyou?" asks Duo, extending his
arms to the noticeably larger man. He smiles a bit and scratches an unseen spot on his
chin. "Heh… due to circumstances beyond our… control…"
"We left her behind. As well as Melfina," finishes the blonde, somewhat peeved. Flames
flash behind Duo and his violet eyes fill with contained rage.
"You… WHAT????" he roars, seemingly growing twice his size (or making Gene shrink
considerably, whichever you prefer). Gene looks frightened, Jim has a definite look of
"told you so…" on his face, and Suzuka looks… like Suzuka. Smug and silent.
"Well, see, this mission was strictly for those humiliated in Twilight-chan's previous
fic… and, as you… know… Aisha wasn't, and neither was Mel…" says Gene, cowering
beneath Duo's American Shinigami Glare of Death™.
"Okay." Oddly, Duo shrinks back to his normal size (or Gene grows), tosses some water
on the growing flames, and begins to softly sing a horribly catchy little tune that consists
of "Just wild beat… comuni-cation… doo doo doo, dodododo do doo…" since he is
American and doesn't know the Japanese words. Heero nudges him, whispering
something in his ear.
"Ah. Ame ni…"
Everyone who is animated is facefaulting largely, and TC is dangerously close to doing
so (or as close as she can possibly get, being a real person). But Twilight-chan recovers,
something catching her attention.
"Hey, Gene! I didn't humiliate *you* in 'Houseguests, did I?" she asks, a huffy, angry
look on her face that isn't getting any closer to intimidating while she is wearing those
pink sunglasses. Gene proceeds to twiddle his index fingers, pushing them together in an
odd little rhythm.
"Well, you see, *technically* you didn't, but I *am* your favorite character in the show,
and I kinda had to make an appearance, and I'm the only one who can pilot the Outlaw
Star…" TC prods on, turning to Jim next.
"And Jim, how bad exactly was Catherine's glomp?" she says, her eyes narrowing. He
blushes, doing the same thing that Gene is doing with his fingers and looking so mind-
bogglingly cute that TC has to restrain herself from doing exactly what Catherine had
done.
"Well, ah, it wasn't so bad, even though I couldn't breathe… and I am your fourth
favorite character in the show, and I'm practically Gene's shadow, and the story wouldn't
be complete without me…" TC's eyes grow narrower as she turns to Suzuka, who
predictably, *doesn't* twiddle her forefingers.
"*You* barely had more than two lines. What humiliated you so much?" she askes,
extending a salon-done fingernail (with the tips nicely done in a french manicure, with a
slight hint of pink).
"I'm your second favorite character in the show, and without Melfina or Aisha, there is a
definite lack of estrogen among the crew. Although maybe that's a good thing…" she
says. TC grins triumphantly, placing both hands on her hips. The Gundam boys are
looking ashamed of their animated kin, shaking their heads simultaneously. Taichi and
Yamato are once again occupied with… other things.
"So, not one of you really ever had a reason to come here! Hah! Well, that was a waste
for you, wasn't it?" she shouts, but soon noting the evil look on Gene's face. He
chuckles, then begins to laugh quite loudly. TC pales, going quickly to the Ichijouji-esque
whiteness. "Wh-what's so funny?" she asks, dreading the answer.
"By having us come here without a reason, you've now humiliated us! Hah! NOW we
can get our revenge!" he says happily, his, Jim's and Suzuka's face getting that bottom-
lighting look that makes them really comically scary. TC pales *even* more and begins
to back away from the nine advancing bishonen (and the one female). Just when they are
about to pounce, Quatre raises a finger.
"WAAAIIIIIT!!!" he yells as to the attention of all of them. They turn, wide-eyed. A thin
sheen of sweat covers his face, and he is looking *very* frightened.
"What's wrong, Quatre? You look like you've seen a ghost," asks TC quietly, her voice
quavering. He whimpers a little bit.
"K-kind of… TC, if you're here… th-then wh… wh-who…" he manages, and Taichi
finishes for him. "…is writing this… f-f-fic?"
The scene goes black just as eleven screams reverberate across the sound system. The
lights fade on, and people begin to stir as the credits roll. A ginger-haired girl speaks
rather loudly.
"Well, *that* movie sucked! Right, Stupid-Shinji?" The dark-haired boy beside her
remains silent, not knowing whether to reply. Not far away, a grumpy-looking white-
haired man with rather odd-looking dog-like ears (thats a lot of hyphens in one sentence)
is getting up from his seat with another group of people.
"Hmph. I don't know what you humans see in this 'movie' thing. That ship, and the
crater and everything! *So* fake," he harrumphs, tossing his empty soda in the garbage
by the door. The dark-haired girl beside him frowns.
"Inu-yasha, will you lighten up for once? It can't have been *that* bad."
"Yeah," agrees the tiny fox-tailed boy in her arms, snuggling deeper. He's just content
because he got to sit in her lap the whole time. Not far away, a man with spikey blonde
hair stumbles in his steps, his eyes growing glazed over.
"J-Jenova… Se… Sephiroth… why?…" he mumbles incoherently, the frightening sword
slung across his back almost falling out of it's sheath. A girl in a pink dress stoops to help
him up.
"Cloud! Cloud, oh dear, are you all right?" she asks, her annoying voice even more
annoying when it's worried. A rather busty brown-haired girl in a short black skirt and
white tank top (complete with suspenders) beside her rolls her eyes and lends a hand to
get him to his feet.
"Don't worry, he's just 'having a moment…'"
Soon, everyone has filed quietly (or not, in Asuka's case) out of the movie theater, and
the dark room returns to the silent state that it was before the movie-goers entered. The
smell of stale popcorn hovers in the air, and all seems calm, but the screen flickers back
on after a few minutes. A girl wearing pink sunglasses and nine bishonen (and one
female) behind her appear.
"Hey, who *is* writing this?" says the girl, tapping the screen. "Hello? They've all left!
That fast?"
"Well, Mexwell's acting wasn't as superb as it could have been…" grumbles the Chinese
man. The American braided pilot grows (or everyone else shrinks) just as he had before,
and his violet eyes flash dangerously. "You wanna make somethin' of it, Chang?"
"Yeah. As a matter of fact, I do."
"Bring it on!" The two pilots engage in a scythe-vs-katana fight a few feet behind
everyone else.
"Well, I want to know! Don't you?" The glasses-clad girl turns toward her crowd of
animated characters and throws her hands in the air.
"Yeah!"
"Yeah."
"Yeah…"
"Yeah!" etc. TC turns back to the screen, searching for any sign of intelligent life.
"Anyone know? Hello! Yoo-hoo! People! Who the hell is writing this?! I want to know!
Um… please?"
The screen fades out as she and the other characters continue to plead.
~End~
Twilight-chan: Perhaps we will never know…
Gene: ::sighs:: And we never did get our revenge.
All others: Yeah!
TC: You—(points to Gene, Jim and Suzuka) don't even deserve any. As for you—(points
to Yamato and Taichi, who have halted another makeout session (reluctantly) to listen)
I've written plenty of fluffyfics and limes to make up for it. And you guys—(points to the
Gundam Boys) I will write a good angsty or romancey thing soon. Got it?
~In her eyes flashes the devastanting dangerousness of Haroku-sama that they know all to
well~ ~they all cower~
All: Got it…
~Fin~
Muyo/Universe/Tokyo/In Love, Inu-Yasha, Evangelion, or any other anime/manga even
*mentioned* in this story. All shows/characters/hottnesses belong to their respective
companies/owners/dominators. Though I wish I owned Gene… ::sighs::
Revenge… ::Syaoran holds up a sign that reads Cue Dramatic Music::
It is a perfectly wonderful day in the real world—that is, the world of Twilight-chan, our
dear authoress—and we find our hero—or heroine, if you want to get specific—lounging
peacefully in her hammock—although she doesn't have one—sipping an ice-cold glass of
lemonade and enjoying her uneventful, albeit comfortable summer. Wheeeenn…
"This is her house, right?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know??"
"I thought you knew!!!!"
"You had the map, baka!!!"
"I thought you did!!!"
"ARRGH!!"
…she hears two frighteningly familiar voices coming towards her. Opening her eyes
behind rose-tinted lenses (Ha.), she considers who the voices could belong to. Either
Michael Reisz and Jake Someone are in her backyard, or something very, very
impossible…
"Ta…Taichi? Yamato? Wha—how did—but you're…"
"Look, did I not hand you the map before we left???"
"Yes! You didn't! Either you handed it to my evil twin, or mmph!"
Taichi's sentence is cut off by a savage kiss from his blonde companion. Twilight-chan,
the now almost-facefaulting human, is gaping at the two animated characters invading
her property. The all-too-famous Enemies With Chemistry are making out a few feet
away from her. She closes her eyes, hoping they will disappear.
"You are so cute when you're pissed."
No such luck. They've finished, and advance towards TC, who is staring into her
lemonade in disbelief, and pouring it, splattering, to the earth below. "What am I on?"
she whispers in awe, and turning to the two evilly grinning teenagers in front of her, gets
a very scared look on her face.
"This can't be happening…"
Bum-bum-baaaaaaa! Meanwhile…
"Gene, remind me again where we're going?"
"It's a surprise."
"And why didn't we bring Aisha or Mel?"
"They'll get in the way."
"Isn't it hard to pilot without Melfina?" asks a black-haired, tall and slender woman in
the other control seat.
"It's a hell of a lot harder with you two yammering the whole time!!!!"
"Geez, no need to get profane…"
"'F' YOU!!!!" comes the roar from the cherry red haired man desperately toggling the
controls.
"Excuse me, but I do believe it was a rather foolish maneuver to leave Melfina behind.
And I also would like to know why you installed a time-traveling mechanism into my
hard drive."
Gene, on his last nerve, turns his head slowly up to the blinking circle above him. He
takes a deep breath, opens his mouth wide, and with the volume of a stampeding wild
animal roars "BIIIITE MEEEE!"
Meanwhile…
"So, uh, heh, why are you guys here?"
TC has grown very uncomfortable in the normally nice hammock. Taichi and Yamato
exchange looks of mirrored deviousness and lean closer, forcing the girl back a few
inches.
"Revenge."
"R-revenge??? For what?!" she shouts, pushing her sunglasses farther up her nose. They
roll their eyes and sigh, their synchronized actions looking horribly cute and making
Twilight-chan squirm uncomfortably.
"Isn't it obvious? I'll give you a teeny hint: Hamike-sama," says Yamato with a slight
growl. TC frowns and crosses her arms across her quite annoyingly three-dimensional
chest. "But you liked that, didn't you?" she asks huffily, closing her eyes again. But she
opens her eyes when she hears the soft tutting from the blonde.
"Maybe I did. But Taichi didn't." The said boy narrows his eyes and prods TC with his
forefinger. "Yeah, how come *I* wasn't invited to this little 'houseguests' thing?" he
asks angrily. TC averts her eyes, searching for a believable explanation and biting her lip
madly.
"Well, ah, you see… I wrote that during a point in which I wasn't… you know, a…
fan…" she says, clearly anxious of what Taichi will think of this. He grins, rolling his
eyes and throwing his hands in the air.
"Oh! *I* see! You weren't a fan of me *yet,* but you let 01 Sora in the party?" he mocks,
obviously embarrassing Twilight-chan to the point that she blushes and admits to the
crime.
"Hey! I was on a major brownie high, anyone could have done it!" she yells back,
immediately regretting her decision as Yamato leans forward with those azure eyes
narrowed. "Good. Thank you for informing us. By the way, I think *we* have some
*guests* for *you,* 'all-powerful authoress.'" TC visibly pales, and doesn't seem to
notice the other voices approaching quickly. Instead she gnaws on her lip some more, and
wonders again whether her brother slipped something into her lemonade.
"Nimryou ryoukan, huh buddy?"
"Hnh."
"Aw, come on, can't I get a real reply?"
"Really, you haven't spoken this whole time!"
"He doesn't usually."
"I prefer silence."
"Well, at least he's not like Maxwell…"
"Hey!"
The conversation finally reaches TC's ears and she decides to pale some more, actually
beginning to worry Yamato and Taichi, who have noticed she's gone paler than Ken
Ichijouji in winter (and that's pale). The Gundam pilots have been the target of most of
her humor fics (actually, all of them to date), all of which ending with either Wufei
crying or Quatre corrupted (in some cases, both) and are going to want a rather large
chunk of anime-style revenge. She wonders what they are planning to do, and, if
imaginable, pales even more thinking about it. Taichi and Yamato slink off to let the
Gundam pilots have their quality time (and have a makeout session in the process).
"So."
"So." TC replies none too cheerily to the Yuy Glare of Death that is much worse in real
life than she expected.
"Not much you can do here." comes the low growl of the Yuinator.
"Nope. Heh…" she laughs nervously as Quatre begins to utilize his maddening Arabian
Aquamarine Puppy-dog Eyes and making her feel uncontrollably guilty.
"Can't 'sic your Gundam pilots' on themselves, right?" adds Duo, grinning just about as
deviously as Yamato and Taichi had before.
"Heh. Guess not…"
"Dot. Dot. Dot." TC looks into the emerald eyes of Trowa Barton, utilizing the Latin-
French-Canadian Silent Glare of Death™ after the last three words had left his mouth.
"Look, I'm sorry, but…"
"If you take out all his "nimryou kanju" crap in the series, I talk more than Heero."
"And that's not saying much!" says a chibified Koushirou, popping up from the corner
and grinning, before cowering under the four deathglares (and the one pair of Arabian
Aquamarine Puppy-Dog Eyes) and running away terrified.
"Don't mind him. He's just happy with his new wife," TC says nonchalantly. A
respective chibified Washuu pops up from the opposite corner with forefinger raised.
"Yep! We greatly enjoyed our honeymoon in hammerspace!" She then looks a bit
troubled and sweatdrops before adding, "Thought Koushi-chan *did* get a few bumps
while we were there. Most of the time we were in an armored spaceship that IIIII
invented!" TC proceeds to shove Washuu out of the picture and continue her rather
frightening conversation with her much-loved bishonen.
"Number one. In the dub, which is the only version of the TV series you have seen, I only
refer to 'justice' about twice. In Endless Waltz…"
"Which TC just finished watching!" The Koushirou returns, and Wufei sweatdrops,
batting him away.
"…in Endless Waltz, it's more of 'PEACE, KISAMA!' than 'JUSTICE, KISAMA!' Get
the picture?" TC squirms under Wufei's Chinese Justice Glare of Death™, that although
isn't as intense as Heero's, is just as intimidating.
"Well, you see, all the other fanfics…"
"ALL the OTHER fanfics? You mean to tell me you PLAGIARISED? INJUSTICE!"
Wufei shouts, before clapping both hands over his mouth as Duo tuts and waves his
index finger. Wufei regains his composure and continues.
"What do you mean by that?" he asks, a bit more civil and refined. TC's eyes seem to go
sparkly, though how she accomplishes this the Gundam pilots have no idea, Twilight-
chan not being animated.
"My idols! The very authoresses that inspired me to spin the threads of fate for
unexpecting—I mean, unfortunate anime characters! People like Ayanami_chan, Foon
and Spork, and all the humor authors down at Aishiteru!" she cries, waving to whoever
might be reading this fits the description. All five Gundam pilots roll their eyes until TC
is looking at them again, still with a miniscule fear in the back of their mind that she just
might come the evil authoress that they—Quatre in particular—know all to well.
Meanwhile…
"Gene, what the hell is going on?"
"It's that new time-travel program I installed."
"Are you sure about this, Gene? We've fallen to many an enemy as a result of your
plans…" The bokuto-toting assasin sips her tea daintily, much in contrast to the heavy
convulsions the ship is going through.
"That never happened. And if that bullshit of a computer so much as…"
"Gene, I wonder about the safety of the crew after we land. What do you think will be the
reactions of the people of the past?"
In an action much like the one before, Gene opens his mouth to nearly facefault-size…
"UURUUSAAAIIII!"
Back at TC's house…
"So, ah, how exactly did you guys *get* here? I mean, you are animated and all."
"That, my friend, is what's known as a plot hole. It's when unexplainable things…"
"I *know* what a plot hole is, Taichi! I *am* a fanfictionalist, after all."
"Damn, that's a big word." TC and her slew of bishonen are now enjoying some
lemonade, which has been deemed un-drugged by the still somewhat unsure girl. They
are waiting on their other 'guests' to arrive, and in the meantime, decided they would
have a little chat. Quatre has dismissed the lemonade for his so-called-tea, and is sipping
it between convulsive twitches and a few bursts of maddened giggles. The four Gundam
pilots take no mind, as they've gotten used to Quatre's odd 'tea' sipping behavior. TC,
however, gets more and more nervous with every spurt of insanity.
A roaring sound comes from above, and TC, looking quickly to the sound, is not as
surprised as she should be at seeing a cherry-red animated starship land deftly in her
backyard. Leaving a rather large crater.
"Mom and Dad will have my head for this…"
"Where are they, anyway?" asks Yamato curiously.
"That, my friend, is what's known as a plot hole. It's when unexplainable things…"
"Didn't I just say that?" Their conversation is halted as the sort of spinney-pulley ladder
thingy extends down from what they now have identified as the Outlaw Star. A tall man
with hair that seems oddly the same color as the ship, followed by a short blond eleven-
year old and a slender, dark-haired woman descend from the red ship.
"Gene, buddy, my man! How have you been isAishawithyou?" asks Duo, extending his
arms to the noticeably larger man. He smiles a bit and scratches an unseen spot on his
chin. "Heh… due to circumstances beyond our… control…"
"We left her behind. As well as Melfina," finishes the blonde, somewhat peeved. Flames
flash behind Duo and his violet eyes fill with contained rage.
"You… WHAT????" he roars, seemingly growing twice his size (or making Gene shrink
considerably, whichever you prefer). Gene looks frightened, Jim has a definite look of
"told you so…" on his face, and Suzuka looks… like Suzuka. Smug and silent.
"Well, see, this mission was strictly for those humiliated in Twilight-chan's previous
fic… and, as you… know… Aisha wasn't, and neither was Mel…" says Gene, cowering
beneath Duo's American Shinigami Glare of Death™.
"Okay." Oddly, Duo shrinks back to his normal size (or Gene grows), tosses some water
on the growing flames, and begins to softly sing a horribly catchy little tune that consists
of "Just wild beat… comuni-cation… doo doo doo, dodododo do doo…" since he is
American and doesn't know the Japanese words. Heero nudges him, whispering
something in his ear.
"Ah. Ame ni…"
Everyone who is animated is facefaulting largely, and TC is dangerously close to doing
so (or as close as she can possibly get, being a real person). But Twilight-chan recovers,
something catching her attention.
"Hey, Gene! I didn't humiliate *you* in 'Houseguests, did I?" she asks, a huffy, angry
look on her face that isn't getting any closer to intimidating while she is wearing those
pink sunglasses. Gene proceeds to twiddle his index fingers, pushing them together in an
odd little rhythm.
"Well, you see, *technically* you didn't, but I *am* your favorite character in the show,
and I kinda had to make an appearance, and I'm the only one who can pilot the Outlaw
Star…" TC prods on, turning to Jim next.
"And Jim, how bad exactly was Catherine's glomp?" she says, her eyes narrowing. He
blushes, doing the same thing that Gene is doing with his fingers and looking so mind-
bogglingly cute that TC has to restrain herself from doing exactly what Catherine had
done.
"Well, ah, it wasn't so bad, even though I couldn't breathe… and I am your fourth
favorite character in the show, and I'm practically Gene's shadow, and the story wouldn't
be complete without me…" TC's eyes grow narrower as she turns to Suzuka, who
predictably, *doesn't* twiddle her forefingers.
"*You* barely had more than two lines. What humiliated you so much?" she askes,
extending a salon-done fingernail (with the tips nicely done in a french manicure, with a
slight hint of pink).
"I'm your second favorite character in the show, and without Melfina or Aisha, there is a
definite lack of estrogen among the crew. Although maybe that's a good thing…" she
says. TC grins triumphantly, placing both hands on her hips. The Gundam boys are
looking ashamed of their animated kin, shaking their heads simultaneously. Taichi and
Yamato are once again occupied with… other things.
"So, not one of you really ever had a reason to come here! Hah! Well, that was a waste
for you, wasn't it?" she shouts, but soon noting the evil look on Gene's face. He
chuckles, then begins to laugh quite loudly. TC pales, going quickly to the Ichijouji-esque
whiteness. "Wh-what's so funny?" she asks, dreading the answer.
"By having us come here without a reason, you've now humiliated us! Hah! NOW we
can get our revenge!" he says happily, his, Jim's and Suzuka's face getting that bottom-
lighting look that makes them really comically scary. TC pales *even* more and begins
to back away from the nine advancing bishonen (and the one female). Just when they are
about to pounce, Quatre raises a finger.
"WAAAIIIIIT!!!" he yells as to the attention of all of them. They turn, wide-eyed. A thin
sheen of sweat covers his face, and he is looking *very* frightened.
"What's wrong, Quatre? You look like you've seen a ghost," asks TC quietly, her voice
quavering. He whimpers a little bit.
"K-kind of… TC, if you're here… th-then wh… wh-who…" he manages, and Taichi
finishes for him. "…is writing this… f-f-fic?"
The scene goes black just as eleven screams reverberate across the sound system. The
lights fade on, and people begin to stir as the credits roll. A ginger-haired girl speaks
rather loudly.
"Well, *that* movie sucked! Right, Stupid-Shinji?" The dark-haired boy beside her
remains silent, not knowing whether to reply. Not far away, a grumpy-looking white-
haired man with rather odd-looking dog-like ears (thats a lot of hyphens in one sentence)
is getting up from his seat with another group of people.
"Hmph. I don't know what you humans see in this 'movie' thing. That ship, and the
crater and everything! *So* fake," he harrumphs, tossing his empty soda in the garbage
by the door. The dark-haired girl beside him frowns.
"Inu-yasha, will you lighten up for once? It can't have been *that* bad."
"Yeah," agrees the tiny fox-tailed boy in her arms, snuggling deeper. He's just content
because he got to sit in her lap the whole time. Not far away, a man with spikey blonde
hair stumbles in his steps, his eyes growing glazed over.
"J-Jenova… Se… Sephiroth… why?…" he mumbles incoherently, the frightening sword
slung across his back almost falling out of it's sheath. A girl in a pink dress stoops to help
him up.
"Cloud! Cloud, oh dear, are you all right?" she asks, her annoying voice even more
annoying when it's worried. A rather busty brown-haired girl in a short black skirt and
white tank top (complete with suspenders) beside her rolls her eyes and lends a hand to
get him to his feet.
"Don't worry, he's just 'having a moment…'"
Soon, everyone has filed quietly (or not, in Asuka's case) out of the movie theater, and
the dark room returns to the silent state that it was before the movie-goers entered. The
smell of stale popcorn hovers in the air, and all seems calm, but the screen flickers back
on after a few minutes. A girl wearing pink sunglasses and nine bishonen (and one
female) behind her appear.
"Hey, who *is* writing this?" says the girl, tapping the screen. "Hello? They've all left!
That fast?"
"Well, Mexwell's acting wasn't as superb as it could have been…" grumbles the Chinese
man. The American braided pilot grows (or everyone else shrinks) just as he had before,
and his violet eyes flash dangerously. "You wanna make somethin' of it, Chang?"
"Yeah. As a matter of fact, I do."
"Bring it on!" The two pilots engage in a scythe-vs-katana fight a few feet behind
everyone else.
"Well, I want to know! Don't you?" The glasses-clad girl turns toward her crowd of
animated characters and throws her hands in the air.
"Yeah!"
"Yeah."
"Yeah…"
"Yeah!" etc. TC turns back to the screen, searching for any sign of intelligent life.
"Anyone know? Hello! Yoo-hoo! People! Who the hell is writing this?! I want to know!
Um… please?"
The screen fades out as she and the other characters continue to plead.
~End~
Twilight-chan: Perhaps we will never know…
Gene: ::sighs:: And we never did get our revenge.
All others: Yeah!
TC: You—(points to Gene, Jim and Suzuka) don't even deserve any. As for you—(points
to Yamato and Taichi, who have halted another makeout session (reluctantly) to listen)
I've written plenty of fluffyfics and limes to make up for it. And you guys—(points to the
Gundam Boys) I will write a good angsty or romancey thing soon. Got it?
~In her eyes flashes the devastanting dangerousness of Haroku-sama that they know all to
well~ ~they all cower~
All: Got it…
~Fin~