Isn't this just lovely? My first Danny Phantom fanfic. It's a short one and hysterically funny (or so I've been told). Took me a few days, three things of Pringles, and a can of Raid (don't ask. Just don't.), but I did it. Enjoy!
Payback Time
Danny looked up and down the hallway. No sign of Dash. Breathing a sigh of relief, he headed towards his locker when a shadow fell over him.
"Going somewhere, Fenton?" Dash asked.
"Where's Danny?" Sam asked, walking down the hall with Tucker.
"Hey, someone let me out of here!" a voice said from inside a locker.
"I'll give you three guesses as to where Danny is, and the first two don't count," Tucker said, opening Danny's locker. Danny fell out in a heap on the floor.
"Ow," Danny said.
"You okay?" Sam asked, squatting down next to her friend.
"Yeah. I mean, I'm sure that my legs will start circulating blood again any time now," Danny said.
"How long were you in there?" Tucker asked.
"I dunno.... I kinda lost track after two hundred and three one-thousand," Danny said.
"Dash?" Tucker asked.
"Dash," Danny confirmed. "At least he can't do anything else to me right now."
Just then, the entire contents of Danny's locker slid out and onto his head. The poor boy was buried under papers, textbooks, and a month-old lunch from Taco Bell. Danny glared angrily from beneath the pile and popped back up, holding a note.
"Ha ha, got you Fenton! -Dash", Danny read. He crumpled it up and threw it away.
"Don't let it get to you, Danny," Sam said, helping Danny get his stuff back into his locker. She opened the Taco Bell bag, sniffed, and turned three shades of green. "Rancid chicken quesadillas," she said, dumping the bag into a garbage bin. They finished cleaning up Danny's locker and headed out just as the last bell of the day rang.
"Easy for you to say," Danny grumbled.
"What? About the quesadillas?" Tucker asked.
"No, about Dash," Danny said. "Why does he pick on me? I mean, why not Nate or someone?"
"Actually, Dash does pick on Nate," Sam said, leafing through a small notebook. "Tuesdays and Thursdays between morning classes."
"What's that?" Danny asked, looking over her shoulder.
"Oh, this is Dash's agenda," Sam said. "I swiped it from him when he wasn't looking."
"So?" Tucker asked.
"This has the time and place of all the kids he bullies," Danny said, taking the agenda and flipping through it. "And various tidbits of personal information.... and his locker combination!" Danny grinned. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Um.... yeah, but how are we supposed to fit Disney World inside a plastic bag?" Tucker asked. The other two stared at him. "What? I was just asking!" he said defensively.
"Tucker, Sam, it's payback time," Danny said, snapping the book shut.
"Remember what happened last time you tried to use your powers to get back at Dash?" Sam asked.
"Who said anything about using my powers?" Danny asked. "Meet me at school at eight tonight, okay?" With that, he ran off.
"I think that I know what Danny's getting at," Tucker said, an evil grin pulling at his face.
"What? Did I miss something?" Sam asked, confused.
"Probably," Tucker said.
"Gah, I hate being out of the loop," Sam sighed.
"All shall soon be revealed...." Tucker said in an eerie voice.
"Oh, shut up," Sam said, whacking her friend over the head.
"Why are we here, again?" Sam asked. She had met up with Danny and Tucker at the appointed time outside of Casper High.
"Shh!" Danny said. He had come dressed in black clothes that looked like a blind amateur cat burglar might wear and had a large bag slung over his shoulder. "Listen, the science room has a window that doesn't lock. We can get in through that way."
"Why don't we just use the door like normal people?" Sam asked. "I mean, they don't lock it until nine, and....." she trailed off as Danny and Tucker stared at her blankly. "Or, we could do it your way. Man, what is it with boys and breaking and entering?"
"Now, breaking out of school, I understand," Tucker said. "But breaking into it?"
"Desperate times, my friend," Danny said. He led the others around to the outside of the science lab, which was, thankfully, on the first floor. He stopped at a window and tugged at it. The window swung loose and whapped him in the face. Tucker and Sam laughed at Danny's misfortune and held the window open for him to get through.
"Once again, Danny Fenton is thwarted by an inanimate object," Sam said.
"Oh, Danny doesn't get thwarted," said Tucker, going in after Danny. "Horribly beaten and too stupid to know when to give up, yes. Thwarted, no." Sam grinned and came in last, shutting the window gently so that it wouldn't slam.
"Okay, I think that Dash's locker is that way- WHERE'S MY BAG?" Danny yelled.
"Now who's being loud?" Sam smirked.
Tucker whistled innocently and pointed to the window. "You left it outside, dude," he said
"Grr....." Danny said, moving back towards the window.
"I'll hold it open for you!" Tucker said.
"Erm.... how about not? Sam?" Danny said.
"Sure, whatever. Why don't you just phase through?" Sam asked, propping the window open for Danny to get through.
"Him and me got a bet on whether or not he can pull this off without using his powers," Tucker said smugly. "I've got twenty bucks and a T-shirt from Hot Topic riding on Danny cracking and just overshadowing Dash again."
"Which is precisely why I can't use my powers," Danny said as he climbed back in. He turned to Sam and whispered, "I don't have twenty bucks."
Sam sighed and rolled her eyes. "Can we just get this over with? I mean, I just know that we're gonna get caught."
"Don't be like that, Sam," Danny said, picking the lock of the science lab and gently swinging the door open to the empty halls. "What's the worse that can happen?"
"Famous last words," Sam muttered and followed the two boys out into the dark hallway. Danny went straight to Dash's locker, which had Dash Baxter, Quarterback Extraordinaire written in a black marker.
"Here we are," Danny said, dropping his bag and rubbing his hands together in glee. He reached in the sack, pulling out a permanent Sharpie and adding I like to pick my nose to the front of Dash's locker.
"Very nice, but it's missing something," Tucker said, taking the marker from Danny. Thinking for a moment, Tucker added and smear it on Paulina's shirt when she's not looking -D.B. to what Danny had done. He also drew a little stick figure being thwapped on the head with a football and labeled it Dash Baxter. "There we go," Tucker said and nodded, satisfied. "Now, what's his combo?"
"Gimme a second, it's in his book," Danny said, rummaging through his bag. He stopped, and then dumped the contents out without ceremony. "Where is it?"
"Gah, don't tell me that we came all this way and you forgot the stupid agenda," Sam said, hitting her head with her hand.
"Okay, then I won't tell you," Danny said.
"One, fifteen, one. Nope. One, fifteen, two. Nope. One, fifteen, three. Nope."
"How long has Danny been attempting to find Dash's combination?" Sam asked. She and Tucker had sat down and were watching Danny fiddle with Dash's lock.
Tucker checked his watch and frowned. He shook it and held it up to his ear. "I think that my watch has stopped."
"One, fifteen, twelve. Nope. One, fifteen, thirteen. Nope."
Sam sighed. "It's a good thing that I told Mom that I was going to be late hanging with you guys, or else she'd have sent the National Guard or something after me."
"I just told my parents that Danny tried to outrun his garage door and failed miserably, so I had to help him get unstuck," Tucker said.
"One, fifteen, twenty. Nope. One, fifteen, twenty-one. Nope."
Sam blinked and groaned, letting her head hit the wall. "I'm stuck here with an idiot and a moron and I'm not sure which is which."
"One, fifteen, twenty-six. Nope. One, fifteen, twenty-seven. Nope. One-"
"WILL YOU STOP THAT ALREADY?" Sam yelled, finally snapping. Danny stared at her and Tucker started to edge away.
"Fine! You think you can open Dash's locker, be my guest!" Danny said sarcastically, gesturing to the locker that remained firmly stuck. Sam stood up and walked over to the locker, giving it a sharp kick. It opened with no problem.
"See?" she said to Danny. "You just got to show it who's boss."
"For the record, I loosened it for you," Danny grumbled.
"Yeah, you keep thinking that," Sam smirked. "Now, let's do whatever you were gonna do so we can get out of here."
Tucker was sorting through the contents in Danny's bag and held out a small device bigger than a softball, but smaller than a volleyball. "Interesting technique you've got here. What do you call this color?"
"Post-nuclear-power-plant-explosion green," Danny said proudly.
"I know that I'm going to regret this," Sam said, "but I'm going to ask anyway: What is that?"
"This," Danny said, taking the device from Tucker, "is a shaving cream bomb."
"A what?" Sam asked.
"Did you not hear the boy the first time? It's a bomb!" Tucker said.
"With shaving cream?" Sam asked incredulously.
"Yeah!" said Tucker. "My brother showed me how to make it. Before he went away."
"Tucker has a brother?" Sam whispered to Danny.
Danny shrugged. "Beats me. You learn to accept what Tuck says and move on." He shifted a few books in Dash's locker and put the bomb in it. "Wires," he said.
"Wires!" Tucker repeated, handing Danny some wires from the sack.
"Screwdriver."
"Screwdriver!"
"Duct tape."
"Duct tape!"
"Soda."
"Soda- hey, what's the soda for?" Tucker asked.
"Well, I'm thirsty," Danny shrugged. "Anyway, it's done." He closed Dash's locker and stepped back, admiring his handy work and taking a sip of his soda.
"One last thing," Tucker said, walking over to another locker and slipping a piece of paper in it. "There! All done."
"How's any of this gonna work?" Sam asked.
"Oh, you'll see," Danny said. He and Tucker broke into evil laughter, but Danny ended up getting soda up his nose.
"Yes.... all is going according to plan," Danny said, rubbing his hands together evilly. He, Sam, and Tucker were hanging around Danny's locker the next day, waiting for the first bell to ring.
"How do you know that?" Sam asked. "Nothing's happened yet."
"Oh, but it will," Danny said with conviction.
"How do you know?" she asked again.
"Sam, Sam, Sam," Tucker said, shaking his head sadly. "Don't you know? Danny's developed psychic powers."
"Huh?" Danny asked dumbly.
"Just play along," Tucker whispered.
"Oh yeah.... it's like I got ESPN or something!" Danny said, grinning.
"And the sad part is, I don't think that he realizes he made a slip-up," Tucker said.
"Hey, Danny?" Sam said. "I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it's sure working this morning."
Danny grinned. "Thanks!" he said.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LOCKER?????????????"
Still grinning, Danny headed towards the commotion with Sam and Tuck in tow. Dash was standing by his locker, staring at the marker doodles with a look on his face. This look was something akin to first not believing what had happened, then accepting that his locker had been tampered with, and finally vowing to find out who did it and proceed to shove their face in a random toilet. A crowd of kids had begun to gawk around Dash's locker and parted, letting a very angry-looking Paulina come through.
"Dash Baxter, you- you- you little-" Paulina shrieked and slapped Dash across the face. "
"Ow! What was that for?" Dash asked, rubbing his cheek.
"Oh, you know what that was for, el tirón repugnante," she hissed, throwing a balled up piece of paper at Dash's head before stomping off.
"What the-" Dash's response was cut off by the first period bell.
"Come on, we're gonna be late!" Sam said, pulling Danny and Tucker along to class.
"Aw, but he hasn't even opened his locker yet! I want to be there when he does!" Danny whined.
"Danny, I don't think that Dash can go the whole day without opening his locker," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
Dash had gone the whole day without opening his locker. This served only to annoy Danny, astound Tucker, and cause Sam to wonder why he even came to school if he never carried around books or paper or anything. Danny had been lurking near Dash's locker all day long and had made Sam and Tucker stay behind after school.
"Danny, it's almost four thirty," Sam said. "Can we go home now? Please?"
"Not until I have my revenge!" Danny said. "Now, be quiet! Someone's coming!" The three hid behind a corner and watched as Dash walked down the hall followed by several football players.
"And then she slaps me!" they heard Dash complain to his jock posse. "I'm telling you, today has been weird."
"Maybe someone's trying to get back at you for something," one jock suggested.
"But who would try that?" Dash asked. The jocks looked at each other and pondered this question. Shrugging, Dash ended the intellectual moment of the day and started to twirl the lock on his locker.
"Here he goes! Here he goes!" Danny said excitedly. Sam rolled her eyes.
"Whoop-de-do," she said sarcastically. "I can't wait for all of this to be over. The boy's obsessing."
"Personally, I'm tired of Danny ending every sentence with an exclamation point," Tucker said.
Dash stopped just as he put in the last number to his combination, fingers ready to pull the lock. "You know what? Let's just go down and play football. It's not like I actually need to do my homework or anything." He stepped away from his locker and turned to leave with his friends.
"GAH!" Danny said.
"See what I mean?" Tucker asked.
"Hey, Dash! Wait up!" Danny said, leaping out of his hiding space and bounding towards Dash.
"It's official- Danny has lost his mind," Sam said.
"What do you want, Fenton?" Dash spat.
"Oh, I just wanted to remind you that.... um.... if you don't open your locker everyday, it'll get stuck," said Danny.
"Right." Dash didn't look very convinced.
"No, seriously!" Danny said, going up to Dash's locker.
"You touch my locker, and you will be feeling it in the morning," Dash warned. Did Danny listen? Of course not. He opened the locker, and -
WHOOMPH.
Danny stood dazed, blinking. He was covered with green shaving cream that also coated everyone else within a fifteen-foot radius of the locker.
"Fenton, you're a dead man!" Dash yelled.
"I still can't believe that we got dragged into this," Tucker grumbled. After making sure that no one was seriously injured from the explosion, Mr. Lancer had given Danny, Tucker, and Sam detention. Their punishment was to clean up the hall. The shaving cream came up easily enough, but everything that it touched had a green stain that just wouldn't come off.
"Why- won't- this- come- off?" Danny yelled from the bathroom. He had rushed in there after as soon as Lancer left and commenced to scrub at his arms, face, and neck with great force. The residue from the shaving cream left Danny's skin post-nuclear-power-plant-explosion green, and he just couldn't seem to wash it off.
"Poor Danny," Tucker sighed, pushing a mop along the floor.
"Why? I mean, the stuff'll come off, right?" Sam asked, manning a mop of her own.
"Oh, the color will eventually fade, but it was meant to permanently dye something red, blue, or green for about three weeks," Tucker said.
"So Danny's stuck as the frog prince for the time being?" Sam asked.
"Yep."
Sam sighed. "How come whenever Danny's plots backfire, we're always the ones who get in trouble?" she asked.
"You got me, but- hey, I found it!" Tucker said, holding up a soaked piece of paper.
"What? The answers to the pop quiz tomorrow?" Sam asked.
Tucker stared at her blankly. "What pop quiz?"
"Oh, never mind," she said, exasperated. "Just tell me what that this is."
"This," said Tucker, "is the note that Paulina found in her locker that she thought was from Dash."
"Really? What's it say?" Sam asked, curiously looking over Tuck's shoulder. "Dear Paulina," she read aloud. "I never got the chance to tell you, but I am madly, truly, deeply in love with you.... I think that we could make some music together- ew! That's just gross! Love, Dash Baxter." Sam stepped back and shook her head. "Well, I have to hand it to you Tuck. If I got that note in my locker, I'd have slapped Dash too."
"The funny thing is, Paulina didn't even notice that this isn't Dash's handwriting," Tucker said, folding the paper up and placing it under his hat.
Danny stormed out of the bathroom look very green and very mad. "Okay, no more messing around," he said, twin rings of light passing over his body as he went ghost. Sam felt a rush of air as Danny zoomed off to find Dash.
"Ha! Knew he couldn't do it without powers," Tucker said smugly. He followed the Danny-shaped blur to the front schoolyard with Sam in tow. They got there just in time to hear Paulina shriek and- once again- give Dash a slap to the face.
"So, how'd it go?" Tucker asked as Danny reappeared beside them. Their friend wore a huge grin on his face and was looking very, very happy.
"Let's just say that Paulina's a good kisser leave it at that, shall we?" Danny said. "Too bad I had to do it in Dash's body, but I'm not that picky." The three turned to watch Paulina beat the crap out of a confused- looking Dash.
"You owe me money and a new shirt," Tucker said, wincing as Paulina lay a particularly nasty slug to Dash's nose.
"Um, Tucker?" Danny said, edging away a bit. "I kinda forgot to tell you that, well, I don't have any money...."
"......"
"Tuck? You okay?" Danny asked.
"You mean to tell me," Tucker said, "that we went through all that and I don't get anything?" Tucker yelled.
"Oh, look at the time! Really must be heading home now," Danny said, flying off.
"Get back here, Danny! Grr, I'll get him if it's the last thing I do!" Tucker growled. "Sam, it's payback time."
"Here we go again," Sam groaned.
Paulina called Dash a disgusting jerk in Spanish, FYI. Had to use a translator and everything.... man, I really worked on this fic. The shaving cream bombs belong to Red Witch, I think. Go read her stories! You like this one? Then review! The pants command it!