It was the end of her first year at med school. She had just gotten her grades back, all A's. She had expected nothing less of herself, but still it felt empty. Questions and doubts flooded her mind. She could do the bookwork, understand the concepts, but would she be able to do it for real? Would she be able to do it in practice, without anything to fall back on? Sure all doctors had insurance, but that wouldn't seem so important if she killed someone.
Making her way to the music hall, she pulled her jacket closer. Her roommate had shown her the door with the broken lock. It was generally quiet in there, a good place to study that not many people knew about. She wasn't a rule breaker by nature, but she had gone there with Sarah the first few times and had eventually built up her courage to return on her own. In a school fool of academics, it was hard to find a quiet corner. Now, the building was like her second home. She liked to study in the balcony, watching over the stage below.
Making her way to the light panel, she turned on only the lights over the personal boxes. Making her way to her favorite one, she called up in one of the velvet seats. She normally preferred the floor, but this night she wasn't there to study. Looking down at the two pieces of paper in her hands, she sighed, her grades on one side, a letter from her sister on the other.
Rolling her eyes at the offending papers, she quickly opened her backpack. She wasn't here to think. This place had offered her a calming shoulder anytime she had asked, that was all she wanted, comfort. Pulling a bottle of red wine out of her back, she smirked. It was so unlike her. She had never been a big drinker, let alone one who would hide away in the shadows drinking alone.
This was different. She was at a fork in her life and didn't know which way to turn. She wanted simplicity with complexity all in one. If a glass of red wine was the closest she could come, then so be it. She poured the Cabernet, into the plastic wine glass and let it sit. Wishing the lights would twinkle off it as if it were glass. The small denial caused her eyes to tear. Life had failed her once again.
Swirling the half-filled glass, she watched the red juice, cling to the sides. Slowly it dripped back to the pool of red. Breaking her eyes away, she turned back to her sister's letter. They wanted her home. Her mother's eyes were failing and her father's mind no better. Susan added in that she did what she could, but with a husband and three small children, there was only so much possible. Yet, it was fully plausible for her to drop her life and everything that mattered. She finished sipping and refilled.
Her own doubts intensified tenfold at her sister's words. Was this fate playing its hand? Telling her that she didn't belong here, despite what her grades and professors told her. It was her responsibility to take care of those she loved; wasn't that more important? She sipped her wine slowly, letting it linger on her pallet. As the warmth in her month spread down her throat and into her belly, she contemplated what could be.
Nevertheless, her rational mind argued in ten, twenty, years her parents would be gone. She would be left alone with a happily married sister and lots of nieces and nephews. There had to be more to her life than doing the responsible thing. She knew being a doctor would involve sacrifices, but she had always felt they would be worth it. Did a simple letter change that?
Closing her eyes, she finished the second glass of wine. There was a loud click and she jumped in surprise. Glancing down at the wine bottle sitting on the floor, she silently thanked fate for it not being in her hands. Dropping that would have surely given away her presence and probably cause the loss of her favorite spot.
Sitting in silence, she held her breath until she heard the piano bench creak along the stage. Silently peering over the edge, she watched as the form of a tall lanky young man sat at the piano. He was facing her, but was solely focused on the instrument before him. Adjusting into a comfortable position, he moved with an ease she didn't expect.
Less afraid of the invader, she poured one more glass of wine. She knew it was irrational, but she had always left a certain amount of trust to fate. Maybe this young man held the answer to her question. Sipping slowly, she smiled as he hands hovered silently over the keys. The intensity had her nearly ready to say something, when quietly began to play.
A grin spread across her face, as she heard the familiar beginnings of 'Claire de Lune'. Setting her glass down for fear of dropping it, she wrung her hands exited as a new sense of sureness coursed through her veins. As his fingers sped up, increasing both speed and intensity, she rose to her feet.
Standing at the edge, leaning over, she watched him play. Sensing her presence, bright blue eyes flashed to hers. He wasn't shocked like she had been to find an intruder in her sanctum. He wasn't offended that she was creeping in the shadows, listening to him play. He accepted, without question. The only recognition of her presence was a simple nod in her direction and a mischievous smile.
Silent tears fell to her cheeks. She had her answer. Simplicity and complexity, it was all around her: her glass of red wine, the plastic cup, the music, his presence, and her choice. She would finish what she started out to do. There was sadness in her that ached for her parents. It empathized with what her sister was trying to do. It was guilt she knew she would carry with her for years. Collecting her things, she made her way down the stairs. Music was still swirling through the hall, but she had her answers. Shutting the lights back off, she shot a broken smile in the direction of the lone figure basked in light upon the stage. Wiping a fresh batch of tears away, she headed to write to her sister.