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Abba! Her horrified scream still echoed though his ears hours after her had left her whimpering, battered form hugging her father's lifeless corps. He laid on his bed staring at the white ceiling trying not to burst into tears himself. All he had wanted to do was take her in his hands and comfort her, tell her all was not lost. But to her all was lost, her sister, her mother, her brother, and now her father. He wanted to call her, see her, hold her, and show her that she did indeed still have family, even if they weren't by blood.
It was then that he realized that he didn't even know where she had gone. He had assumed that she would go back home, but now he wasn't so sure. He questioned his motives as he picked up his phone and dialed her number. It took a minute for her to answer; he could just imagine all the thoughts running through her head right now.
"Hello," Ziva said warily. Her voice was horse. Her scream echoed through his ears again.
"I just wondered if you wanted to be with someone right now, to talk maybe." Her silence made him think maybe he had over stepped his bounds.
"Tony," she said then stopped, thinking about the possibilities of her answer. "Yes, I'm at my apartment." She hung up before he could say anything else. What have I done? He thought. She's probably going to kill me. But he had no choice now, so he grabbed his jacket and keys and headed out the door.
When he arrived at Ziva's apartment he could see her silhouette in the window. It disappeared when he opened his car door and stepped out. She made it to the door before he did. Her face still showed shadows of the days events and her screams came back again. She ushered him inside without a word. She closed the door but didn't turn around. Instead she seemed to almost melt against the door. Tony grabbed her before she hit the ground and pulled her limp form into his body. He felt her shudder as another wave of tears took over her. He guided her over to the couch and sat down next to her. He rubbed his hand across her back as she continued to shake uncontrollably. Her shoulders were hunched and her hair hung in bunched clumps around her face. Tony pulled her close to him and tried to brush the hair from her face.
"Why did I not go to him?" she finally said, looking up at him. "Why was I not at his side when he-" she chocked on the last word.
Tony thought for a moment before slowly saying, "You were trained to catch the target, then check on the wounded. You did exactly what he would have wanted you to do." Her body became ridged as he finished.
"He, he wanted me to forgive him, but I couldn't, which was why I went outside. I should not have left him, Tony." She sat up and stared at him, fresh tears staining her face.
"You did what you thought was right." He looked into her tear-swollen eyes, knowing no matter what he said she would never feel okay. They only thing he could think to do was to hold her close and hope she didn't completely break down. Which was exactly what he did. He wrapped his arms around her emotionally worn body and pulled it into his again. She didn't fight it; she let her limp body fall into his lap as he ran his fingers through her tangled hair. Tony waited until sleep overtook her body before leaning back on the couch and falling asleep himself.