"Beware the dark pool at the bottom of our hearts. In its icy, black depths dwell strange and twisted creatures it is best not to disturb."

- Sue Grafton, I is for Innocent

Chapter One:

Those Troublesome Tuesdays

The world had been sad since Tuesday.

Emel couldn't remember where she had heard that saying from but it was true. The world seemed to have ended on that Tuesday or rather it was a cumulative effort of an entire lifetime that seemed to be crumbling before her eyes.

-but isn't that the reaction that most youths have with a seemingly hopeless infatuation.

Emel had always had a very unnatural curiosity when it came to spirits and demons. The world of the fade was like a veritable wonderland of ever changing landscapes that needed to be discovered. Growing up in the circle at Oswick she knew she would have to keep her obsession a secret. The Templars and head mages wouldn't take kindly to a noble mage with such an obsession. In fact, they would just as soon label her as some wannabe Tevintor and string her up by her neck. If they were to be truly cruel they would simply make her just another Tranquil.

"Tranquil never say no," a Templar once said a little louder than he should have. As a child she had little understanding of what they were saying but now that she was older...

Little, unpleasant shivers were sent down Emel's spine just thinking about it.

So the dirty blonde played her part as the very attentive student drinking the drivel that spilled from old, dry, cracked lips. Words that had been rehearsed for so many centuries they could be nothing more than the original.

So when the Mages in Kirkwall rebelled Emel was hopeful. When the mages of the white spire held their conclave and decided for circles that were in control of themselves, Emel was ecstatic. Then finally when Emel killed the last Templar that separated herself from her gilded cage did she truly feel liberated.

The conclave at the Temple of Sacred Ashes was surely to bring some headway in the ongoing battle between the mages and the Templars. After the sudden death (meaning homicide) of "The Great" Lord Seeker Lambert many of the mages believed that a middle ground could not be reached.

Of course they were right; they just didn't know how right they were.

When the explosion happened and the breach opened it had been a Tuesday. It had been the next Tuesday when they labeled her a "prisoner" upon her waking up and dragged her up a mountain to close the breach they claimed she made.

So if one must ask, of course the world had been sad since Tuesday and every other day since then.

The only thing that seemed to make the world brighter was the friends she had met along the way. It didn't take long for her to start flirting up Cullen -because despite his Templar past he did have a great ass- or to start sharing drinks with Bull and his chargers. It also didn't take long for her to start sharing tales of exploit and adventure with Varric while they played a few quick games of wicked grace. Soon long talks with Vivienne about a future of mages in the chantry running things was as much a scheduled event as idle gossip with Dorian.

Even though she seemed to get along with all of her companions it was alarming how instantaneous "The Herald of Andraste" became friends with the elven mage, Solas. Like a spark that starts a flame his tales of the fade seemed to spark Emel's curiosity. Having had so little experience and knowledge in how to properly interact with spirits of the fade she would seek out the elf at all hours of the day in her quest for knowledge. Soon it became clear to him the depths of her fascination and it gave him solace to find someone much like himself. The two studied the rifts and the "contents" that poured out of them including bits and pieces of spirits that they took with them as well as ancient ruins. For a while Emel was satisfied with the way life was. As "The Herald of Andraste" she had access to more information and research then she could have dreamed of in the circle and was never questioned nor punished for it. After she had sided with the mages and closed the breach, life seemed fulfilling. She had everything she could have wanted as a free mage with little consequence and all was good.

That was until Haven went under attack.

She could remember the first time she saw "him." The smell of blood and death permeated the air as they opened the door having heard his call. Dead bodies littered the ground but as they stared, weapons in hand, and he stood before them calmly.

"They've come to kill you."

Cole warned them of the elder one but Emel was more interested in him. The way he talked and acted was too bizarre for it to be just another human but sure enough the elder one stood on the edge of a cliff face looking down on them with his Templar army ready for battle. All of the questions Emel wanted to ask but dare not- due to the severity of the situation- pulled at her as she watched the Chancellor Roderick and the strange blonde disappear deeper into the chantry.

When they reached Skyhold Emel practically leapt for joy at seeing the strange boy again scouring the battlements. It seemed that Solas was the first to sense his presence and his hovering led to the attention of Vivienne and Cassandra. When left with the option of letting the spirit stay -which was confirmed by Solas at the time- Emel all but jumped to the answer- in her own way- and despite Coles morbid sense of kindness she accepted him into her inner circle. That was under the condition that The Inquisitor was to watch over Cole to make sure he didn't do anything detrimental to their cause or harmful to their people.

It didn't take long for her to hear of the strange things compassion had done in his attempts to help. Mint, cheese, plums and turnips went missing from the kitchen pantries as well as the daggers from the belts of soldiers. Soon Emel found herself on a veritable treasure hunt to find out why and every time she found the answer she was rewarded with answers to her questions about him and spirits. Cole said it made her happy this way, "Like a child playing a game for treats." He had been right and soon she began spending more time with the spirit and was soon neglecting a few card games or scheduled talks with the rest of her inner circle. Vivienne much to her credit claimed it was an "unnatural infatuation" and Solas watched with wary eyes. Emel on the other hand had always had chaste thoughts about the lonesome boy merely taking curiosity in his nature. That was until their battle at adamant.

Solace and Cole were upset with her. Solas went on about the problems with giving a single order to much influence or power. Cole merely looked at her as though she had stabbed him in the back. She knew he was afraid of the Wardens at adamant, the mages who could bind spirits and demons. Since then he had been avoiding her adamantly (go figure.) The inquisitor had searched all over Skyhold for the disappearing boy. It tore her up on the inside and many of her friends began to take notice of her unusual behavior as she seemed to scan every nook and cranny of every room she walked into.

"Perhaps he wants to be alone?" Dorian would say reassuringly, believing she was feeling guilty, while Blackwall tried to reassure that, "It was probably for the best."

"You should be wary of demons," Vivienne would warn her while Sera would blurt, "Sodding good riddance, that!"

Varric was much the same as Emel, worried for their friend but tight lipped enough about his emotions that he wouldn't say much of anything on the subject. It wasn't until she found Cole- who was practically harassing poor Solas- in the courtyard following the very annoyed elf did she realize his state of mind.

"But you like demons!"

"I enjoy the company of spirits. Yes, which is part of why I do not abuse them with bindings." Solas stopped as Cole rushed in front of the mage blocking his path.

"It isn't abuse if I ask!"

"Not always true." The mage retorted standing firmly to his beliefs and becoming exasperated with the spirits stubborn attitude. "Also, I do not practice blood magic, which renders this entire conversation academic."

It was at this time Emel felt the need to intervene. The Duo immediately took notice as Cole marched over to her. She could tell by his face how frustrated and fearful he had become over the issue as he all but tattled on the other mage.

"He won't bind me. He's a mage, and he likes demons, but he won't help."

Emel looked to her elven friend and then to the spirit as confusion played her features. "After what happened at Adamant, why would you want Solas to bind you?"

"He has to! If Solas won't do the ritual to bind me, someone else could. Will! Like the Warden Mages! and then..." Cole wandered away from his companions and they listened to his frightful murmurs intently from a short distance away.

"I'm not me anymore. Walls around what I want, blocking, bleeding, making me a monster."

"Cole," Emel said reassuringly placing as a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. "Any of those mages could do the same to any one of us."

"You should ask Solas to bind you, too. And then someone can bind him."

"Solas?" Emel said looking to her peer for guidance.

The elf sighed, shaking his head.

"I recall stories of amulets used by Rivaini seers to protect spirits they summoned from rival mages. A Spirit wearing an amulet of the unbound was immune to blood magic and binding. It should protect Cole as well. The resources of the inquisition could be used to find such a talisman."

"Good." Cole said immediately leaving the small group. "They will not take me."

As the two mages watched compassion slip away Emel's shoulders slumped. Finally she found Cole and then he stomps away without even looking her way.

"He is still rather troubled." Solas finally said breaking the silence.

"That much is obvious." Emel retorted looking up at the clear sky. "Are you? I haven't spoken to you in some time, Solas."

"I am better. While I do not agree with your decision I cannot be upset with you for long. Everyone placed the choice in your hands. I only hope it does not come back to haunt you."

"You believe it will?"

Solas looked towards the human female beside him. The Inquisitor noted the sad and sullen look that hung on the corners of his eyes making them look older than usual. "If people weren't half as predictable as they seem, I wouldn't."

Emel could see that if they didn't change topic; Solas would most likely end up running to his study.

"So what are these Rivaini talisman's?" Emel always knew Solas's weakness was knowledge. Get the elf on an intellectual topic and it always improved his mood.

"It's just as I have said. They protect summoned spirits from rival mages. They normally look like small pins or pendants, but have become uncommon after Andraste drove back The Tevintar Imperium. However I have heard of collectors who still harbor them as treasures from times of old. Perhaps you could have Lelianna or Josephine start there."

Emel nodded her head and made her way to the Tavern.

"Where are you going?" Solas called after her.

"To the tavern, Cole should be there." If the spirit of compassion wanted his amulet so badly he would be somewhere nearby where she could find him. As she climbed the two stories to where his hiding place was she found that instead of his usual spot by the railings where he watched he was crouched in a corner staring at his pants, fingers playing with the fringe.

"Cole?" Emel slowly made her way to the spirit sensing his somber mood.

"Why didn't you banish them?"

"Cole, you didn't have to experience the blight-" Emel began to say before she was interrupted.

"You didn't either!" Cole said jumping up and startling Emel. "Safe, content, and well kept. It was the Ferelden mages who fought not you!"

Emel took a few steps back unused to Coles sudden emotional outbursts being turned on her. "Cole, calm down. Listen to my voice. Look into my mind, my soul. You'll understand why I did it but you have to listen."

A few moments passed as Cole closed his eyes leaving Emel to miss his startling blues. "Curiosity plays at the edges as tiny fingers grasp stone walls, silent, and full of mystery. You watch as they drag in dirty mages, wounded, terrified. Time passes and their screams haunt the midnight hours a hollow echo of past battles. All of them are frightened, emptied by old songs that fill them, in the dark spaces where light once resided lays fear. A dead body hangs from the banister, face various shades of purple and blue like his robes. His neck as broken and bruised as his soul and the long scarf sister Florentine made was his release. A Love to fight the nightmares and send him to the makers side." Cole shivered as he opened his eyes, a feverish look clung to them. "It's too bright to look any further."

"I know." Emel said as she took one of his pale hands. "They were Ferelden circle mages. After they're tower was attacked by blood magic a few were forced into other circles. That way they could be watched over more closely. They survived demons, abominations, darkspawn and an archdemon. Much of it was due to a lack of Grey Wardens, from the stories there were only two in all of Ferelden. The rest had been killed and they alone brought an entire nation from the brink of destruction."

A long silence sat between them drowning out the laughter and noise of the tavern below. Emel sat and stared at the palm of Coles hand as she looked at the indents and wrinkles in his skin. To the eye he looked so human and yet everything she knew told her differently.

"The stories make you happy. Tales told to small children to give them hope in heroes who stand in shining, golden armor." He wretched the hand from her grasp and placed both on her shoulders causing her to look at him in the face. "But they hurt people, Emel. They hurt sprirts too. And they will hurt more."

Cole could sense Emel clam up within herself, tired of arguing with him on the subject but he wouldn't budge. He had to help her see. Cole had to help her understand why he was upset. He wanted to help and the wardens wanted to help, but their helping hurt people. It never helped anyone. He couldn't understand why she felt hope in that, and why her fear of another blight would cause her to stray from caring for the people they hurt.

"I don't always know the right words to say- it's hard- but if they hurt anyone again." A long pause filled the air as Coles features darkened. "I will kill them and you will have to as well. Just like you will have to kill me if I turn into the other Cole again. A demon. A Monster."

Emel couldn't look at him anymore. He knew she hated this, but he had to. He always had to push her. Always try to make her answer the right way and he was tired of her evading the question.

"No."

"No?" Cole Tasted the word on his mouth not enjoying the bitterness he felt. "But you have too!" For the first time since he had met the dirty blonde in the snowy mountains where Haven laid had he ever seen her look at him so angrily. He wasn't even a demon of rage and yet he could feel white hot anger licking at his skin from where he touched her until it seemed to burn her up instantly. All of her anger seemed to swallow her whole and then he sensed it. Ice cold, he flinched away staring at her wide eyed from beneath his wide brimmed hat. Despair.

"I'll find your talisman but I will not do that. You will not place that burden on me spirit!" Once again Cole flinched, this time from her tone, as he watched her turn on heel. When she was gone he walked back to the corner were she found him and began griping the brim of his hat. Tugging it down so it was lower then normal as he rocked himself back and forth unsure whether to wash clean of the terrible emotion he was feeling. But he wouldn't. Cole never washed himself clean of any memories involving the woman. The memories he cherished were of her. Warm and accepting, much like Solas, but she always sought him out more instead of the other way around.

She came to the Tavern to make him feel better instead of him helping her, and just as backwards but wrong, he seemed to hurt her.

Now he was left with a feeling he knew was stirring up his insides and making him feel ashamed. Cole still knew the wardens were bad for what they did but now he felt guilty about it and it didn't make sense. He wanted Emel to reassure him she would kill him. When she said "no" he had been disappointed, but sad after he saw the pain it caused her. How could emotions get so mixed up. Slowly he stood and decided he would ask Varric what he should do. The Spirit had already bothered Solas enough for one day. Besides, Varric was more of a people person anyway.

Emel had bee pondering over the war table when Leliana finally came. The spymaster had acquired information on a Jewelry collector who was known for his wide range of exotic trinkets and baubles.

"If he just so happened to miss a piece I am sure no one would be the wiser." The red head claimed with a mischievous smirk towards the Herald. "Shall I send out my scouts to procure the item?"

"Yes," Emel said firmly "But this time I will be going with them."

Leliana's eyes widened in disbelief and her mouth practically hit the floor. "You want to- but surely my men can procure the amulet without you. Wouldn't you want to take some of your inner circle with you? It would be completely inefficient!"

"I don't care." Emel said pounding her fist on the table. "And no, I will not take my inner circle with me, not this time. I need a moment to collect my thoughts but it can't be here. If it makes you feel better send your best scouts but I will retrieve this amulet myself."

Leliana was about to argue but seeing the state of the inquisitions leader she thought better of it. Josephine would have a cow if she found out but she knew their Inquisitor was no novice when it came to stealth. Mages always had to be outside the line of fire. Though they were not quite as quick footed as the rogues, they more than made up for it in their ability to blend in with their surroundings and staying out of harms way.

"Alright, I will send the best agents I have on hand but you must be careful. The political ramifications if you get caught will be dire. Not to mention what could happen to you if you are caught as the Venatori would no doubt pay a handsome price for your head and well- your hand." Leliana said pointing to the Heralds right hand

"Understood," Emel said to the spymaster, leaving the war room to change into her light armor.

A/N: Ok, just a random fan baby I am releasing into the world. I love dark stories so this one will be quite dark. It will not follow the Inquisition story line (except for a few bits and pieces of the main quest) because it all goes south from here on. I admittedly got the idea from professoranesthesia who wrote "Making a Monster" which is a totally kick ass one shot but she also did "The Forgotten Boys Crush" so of course it was amazing! So the original concept isn't so original but I think it will be an interesting change of pace.

Also the "it had been sad since Tuesday" was the beginning of a short story called A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It is considered to be one of the best opening sentences of all time for such a nonsensical yet descript story. We read it in my Writers Comp. II class and I love it! tHE cover art is from creaturesfromdreams on tumblr, it's so sad!

Read and review please! Attention whores and what not!

Oh and for anyone who reads "Still Here: which is my other Fic. don't worry I am going to continue it soon. I am just having a hard time with the next chapter that's all. lol