The White-Lightinator
Disclaimer: I acknowledge that I don't own a thing!
In the old, dusty, and rotted out of the way hallways of Grimmauld Place stood a conversing black-haired youth and young adult.
"Why did I agree to this again?" asked Harry Potter, an emerald eyed man of around 18 years. Across from him stood a red haired man that was curiously enough missing an ear.
"Harry, Harry, Harry," began the man, "how many times must I remind you not to talk into my bad ear?"
Harry glared at the man, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"What other ear must I talk into then George?" asked Harry evenly. George only grinned back at Harry not answering his question. In George's hands was a white megaphone, well what looked like a white megaphone, after all it was magical.
"What is this thing called again?" asked Harry as he picked up the megaphone and experimentally aiming it at any old object holding it as one would a gun.
"I call it the White-Lightinator," said George beaming at Harry.
"… and what does it do? Just a little refresher," explained Harry at George's odd look.
"Well it puts one in a trance and while under the person experiences what it's like to be a ghost in the world of one's imagination," lectured George as he took the machinery out of Harry's hands.
"What even made you think of inventing something so… so… stupid?" asked Harry.
"Well that picture show thingy-" started George.
"It's called a telly," bluntly stated Harry.
"Yeah, right, whatever Hermione," said George rolling his eyes, "anyway the telly was showing a thing on hypnosis, I think they called it that, and well muggle's can't make it work for anything not even if their lives depended on it, I mean planting false memories into someone's head, that's no good-"
"Anyway, White-Lightinator George?" interrupted Harry.
"Right so anyway the concept of hypnosis seemed interesting enough, I mean how useful would this thing of been for me and Gred in Hogwarts, it's like an escape Jail card!"
Harry looked thoughtful, bluntly ignoring George's mistake on Monopoly's™ finer concepts; this machine that George invented might be useful for more then just getting away with pranks.
"Alright, so why are you testing it on me?" inquired Harry.
"Well I tested it on other things first, like my desk chair and some mice oh and some garden gnomes, they all came out fine, but none of them could report the experience to me, ya know?" said George, "well the gnomes did use those curses that Fred and I taught them, which was entertaining."
"George…" Harry said using his best disapproving dad voice.
"Oh, right sorry Harry," sheepishly said George before continuing "usually I'd test this sort of thing on Fred, but seeing as… well he isn't likely to report his experiences either."
Harry nodded; he patted George's shoulder in comfort. Fred had died over a year ago and George still had a hard time admitting Fred wasn't in Las Vegas without him.
"I guess it is my duty as Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes behind the scenes partner," sighed Harry in defeat, "besides ever since Nearly Headless Nick's Death Day Party, I've been wondering what being a ghost would feel like."
"Atta boy Harry!" cheered George as he brought the megaphone in front of him and leveled it on Harry. "This should ware off in a little over a day, just so you know."
"Wait! What-!" started Harry but before he could say anything George had the megaphone aimed at his head and pressed down on the button that is usually pushed to amplify one's voice. A blinding light was the last thing Harry saw of his world before he fell backwards, his body cushioned by a simple charm.
"Don't forget to take detailed notes Harry!" called out George as Harry lay sprawled out on the worn carpet.
The next thing Harry knew he was floating lazily in the air, in an upright position. He groaned and fingered his temples, trying to message the headache away. Well he tried but his hand passed through his brains.
"Gah!" exclaimed Harry as he quickly withdrew his hand from the squishier parts of his head. He tried again and this time with more success as he didn't apply as much pressure to his temples.
As Harry looked around he found he was in the same place he had been before. Only instead of George looming over him, Kreacher stood there scowling at him.
"Yous are a master too, I suppose," grumbled Kreacher. Harry nodded, a bit bewildered by the elf's behavior.
"Hey, grumpy pants," said Harry as he floated over to the muttering house elf. Kreacher looked up mildly surprised.
"Yous talking to me?" questioned the dirty elf.
"Yeah, Kreacher, what's got your attitude so sour? You haven't lost Regulus' locket again, have you?" Harry said his eyebrows knotted together. Harry floated through the floor in order to look the elf in the eyes.
"What are yous knowing about the good master's locket?" asked the rigid elf.
"Well I did give you the one… I'm just worried for you is all, I haven't seen you this bitter in ages," admitted Harry. Kreacher looked up at him curiously.
"You care for this naughty house elf?" asked Kreacher in confusion.
"Well I don't see why I wouldn't, I mean, yeah, you really need to take better care of yourself, and you're being a sourpuss, but that attitude will clear right up in a matter of days, once you find that locket again," shrugged Harry.
"Are yous offering to help find the good master's locket for Kreacher?" happily requested Kreacher. Harry looked a little shamefaced.
"I don't even know if I can use magic, being a ghost and all," said Harry, but looking over at Kreacher's chest fallen look he amended his statement, "but I can try!"
"Thank-you young unknown non-Black master!" bowed Kreacher, tears of gratitude streaming down his cheeks. Harry watched slightly amazed as the tear trails left a sparkling clean surface behind. 'Who knew even House-elf TEARS cleaned things?' thought Harry entertained. At Kreacher's continual gratitude, Harry gave a weak smile before raising his ghostly wand into the air.
"Accio Regulus Black's Locket," called out Harry. After waiting for some moments, nothing happened. Kreacher's ears drooped in disappointment.
"'is okay, young unknown Master," muttered Kreacher. Harry looked alarmed at the house-elf's tone.
"Hey, just because I can't use magic to find the locket doesn't mean that we can't do this the old fashioned way!" declared Harry as he drifted above the floor boards so that he was again towering over the miniature elf.
"Whats we suppose to do? Master's locket was stolen by those thieves," Kreacher said hopelessly. Harry wasn't troubled, Kreacher always referred to the other Order members as thieves, he had been working on him with that, but progress was slow going.
"Well is Dung Fletcher here? He's probably the most likely suspect," said Harry as he started to float towards the more crowded parts of the house. Kreacher nodded in agreement and ran to catch up to the floating Harry.
Harry was rubbing his burning forehead, careful not to have his hand have a reunion with his brain anytime soon. His head still felt as though it was throbbing, Harry hadn't even suspected that ghost could feel pain.
"Young Unknown Master, the thief is this way, looking at the silver again," said Kreacher, his voice leaking hatred.
"Kreacher is that you in the hallway!?" called out a familiar voice. Harry placed the tone immediately and got himself prepared to argue with the imaginary Sirius about Kreacher's wellbeing.
"'is the bad master!" whispered Kreacher to Harry. Harry only floated under the floor boards, a wicked smile on his face, why argue when one can prank?
"Just watch this Kreacher, it's going to one for the history books," whispered back Harry before he completely submerged himself underneath the wooden floor.
"Kreacher, what are you doing out of your room? I ordered you to leave us all alone," said a muffled voice from the floor above Harry. Harry smirked; all he had to do was wait.
"I was in my room, befores another master appeared in the hallways across from Kreacher's door," Kreacher stated in a nasty voice that reminded Harry of the old Kreacher.
"Kreacher, stop trying too…" began the voice, Harry interrupted him by slowly drifting upwards through the floor with his head lulling to the side and his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
Sirius Black screamed, it was funnier then Harry had imagined. Sirius was still shrieking like a banshee even as Harry's façade broke and he his face cracked into a broad grin. Harry Potter laughed harder then he ever laughed at his godfather's expense.
"Oh! Kreacher did you see that!" crowed Harry, still howling in laughter, "hurry! Hurry and get a camera, one of those Wizard ones and capture this moment on film!"
Crack! Kreacher went off to do as he was bid. In less then a moment another Crack! signaled his arrival.
"Young unknown Master, what's Kreacher to do?" asked Kreacher looking down at the camera that was clutched in his hands.
"Just push that big round button on the side… right here," explained Harry as he drifted over to Kreacher pointing at the right button.
"But hes not screaming anymores," said Kreacher as he looked up towards the gaping Sirius.
"This is an even better one! Quick, Quick!" ushered Harry. Kreacher bobbed his head before the flash went off, forever capturing the picture of a bewildered, scared and gaping image of Sirius Black.
"Heres you go, Young Unknown Master," said Kreacher as he handed the developing picture to Harry. Harry shook his head.
"I've got plasma hands, give it to someone else, like Remus or Tonks if they're around," ordered Harry. Kreacher nodded and with a Crack! disappeared.
"Kre-Kreacher! Remus! Dumbledore! Oh heavens anyone!" screeched Sirius. Harry grinned in delight as he watched Sirius from his position in the air.
Crack!
Kreacher arrived first, with empty hands.
"Which one did you give it to?" asked Harry, glorious delight beaming off his face.
"I thought blood-traitor Nymphadora would like it best," said Kreacher. Harry gave the house elf a disapproving frown.
"Come on Kreacher, what have I told you about such vile language?" questioned Harry, at Kreacher's confused look, "You shouldn't insult anyone of the family!"
"But there is a lot of family…" murmured Kreacher, Harry nodded.
"That's sort of the point, oh while I'm at it, don't insult any creature, alright, it just makes such a legal mess," said Harry. Kreacher still looked bewildered.
"Insulting is against the law?" asked Kreacher. Harry frowned.
"No, but most things I do get classified as illegal and people get easily offended when my house elf is cursing them to death, doom, and unhappiness, so they like to press charges on that, I mean who knew that stealing a Gringotts trained dragon was a big 'NO-NO!'?"
"Most people know that stealing is illegal, my boy," said a twinkly eyed Dumbledore. Harry looked around at the crowd that surrounded them now. Most people were dead in his definition of the word in his world, but Harry remained unfazed.
"I'm but a lonely orphan with no one to tell me what is right and wrong," said Harry with a pout. His face turned somber when he caught Dumbledore's eye, "Long time no see Professor."
"I don't think I can say the same, Mr. …?" inquired Dumbledore. Harry didn't hear him as he looked around the crowd. He found whom he was looking for, and drifted over to him.
Mundungus Fletcher flinched as the man floated over to him with a curious expression. Dung shoved his hands in his oversized pocket's fingering his loot.
"Hey Dung you haven't taken a locket from around here have you? It should have this mammoth 'S' scrawled on it," said Harry as he used his hands to describe the locket. Dung rubbed his scratchy chin in thought, business was always business, even if it was with a ghost.
"I ma'ta seen it around here sum'wheres," said Dung, a sly look in his eyes, "what you willin' to pay for it?"
"Oh come off it," stated Harry rolling his eyes, "I'm a ghost- well a guy impersonating a ghost for the rest of the day- but I haven't got any money."
"Then no business fa'r you," said the stingy man.
"Oh lord," said Harry again rolling his eyes. He simply shoved his head in the man's oversized pocket. It was so magically expanded that Harry just about tumbled all the way into the coat, "Here you are… oh my you're a horcrux again…"
Harry reached his translucent hand forward, trying to grasp the locket. Harry was only mildly surprised when his hand connected with the locket and he picked it up, shoving it in his pocket hoping the horcrux's side affects didn't affect him as a ghost.
A tingle of magic ran up Harry's spine as he was lifted from Dung's pocket and levitated in front of Dumbledore.
"What is this about?" asked the mildly frustrated Dumbledore. Harry was impressed; it only took ignoring him to push some of Dumbledore's buttons, valuable information received too late.
"I was just helping Kreacher," said Harry with a sheepish grin. Dumbledore's magic intensified, "Ouch! No wonder Peeves is so terrified of you, this hurts!"
"Why help Kreacher?" sneered Sirius. Harry scowled over at his god father.
"Well Sirius, he isn't the bad guy you make him out to be, besides…" Harry said looking over at Dung's pocket.
"What do you know, my lad?" questioned Dumbledore as he finally set Harry on the ground. Harry didn't answer as he scrubbed a transparent hand over his face, a frustrated sigh.
"Gah! Haven't you figured out anything!?" cried out Harry as he looked over at Dumbledore.
"I've figured out plenty of things in my life," wisely said Dumbledore, "like those charming mazes on the back of Muggle Cereal boxes."
"That's real achievement, way to raise the bar, Professor," deadpanned Harry. Dumbledore simply smiled down at the young ghost.
"If you don't mind me asking, but how did you come about becoming a ghost at such a young age?" questioned Dumbledore.
"I'm not really a ghost," shrugged Harry.
"A poltergeist, perhaps?" questioned Sirius, a devious look in his eyes.
"That's just… actually that would make some sense…" thoughtfully said Harry, "considering the guy who sent me here."
"Well Spirit… if you will?" asked Dumbledore, at Harry's nod of admission he began again, "would you mind at least telling us your name and why you are here?"
Harry only shrugged as way of answer and just sat observing everyone there. Sirius stepped up, and glared at the drifting phantom boy.
"Why are you here … and why does he listen to you?" whined Sirius as he pointed at an innocent looking Kreacher standing beside Dumbledore.
"I've yet to witness the Professor listen to anyone, Sirius," Harry answered gravely.
"No Kreacher! Why does he listen to you?" cried Sirius.
"I think it was in someone's Last Will and Testimony where it was cited that Kreacher listen to me unquestioningly," said Harry giving Sirius a look he didn't understand. Sirius scowled at Kreacher and ignored Harry for the time being.
"Who did such a thing to you deary, being a ghost at such a young age!" cried a maternal voice that had Harry grinning.
"It was terrible, but I plan to take my revenge on the man that did this, have no fear, Mrs. Weasley," said Harry.
"I hope you don't plan on killing him," admonished Mrs. Weasley in her pure mother voice. Harry quickly shook his head in disagreement only imagining what Mrs. Weasley would do to him if he tried.
"Well lad, you never did say what your name was," said Mr. Weasley as he stepped up beside Mrs. Weasley a loving hand gripping her shoulder.
"Well most people call me these ridiculous hyphened names like The-Boy-Who-Defeated or the Boy-Who-Lived, I mean plenty of boy's lived and I hardly defeat anyone but Tom, I mean I totally thrashed Tom in everything, but everyone else calls me Harry, I like that name way better too," answered Harry as he floated in a relaxed position in the air.
"How did you get in here?" asked Remus as he stepped beside his grim friend, who remained scowling at Kreacher.
"I don't suppose much charms work on my kind," diplomatically said Harry, after all he was a kind of his own.
"No I don't suppose they do," muttered Remus.
"It's a bloody shame there aren't many spells that work on ghosts," muttered a voice from the shadows.
"Most ghosts don't get involved with the living," answered Remus towards the shadowy corner.
"Try telling that to Binns," grumbled Harry and Sirius at the same time. They exchanged curious looks before smirking at each other's joke.
"Leave Professor Binns out of this," admonished Dumbledore before muttering to himself, "Not every school gets a History Teacher willing to teach for free."
"Professor that's only because Ghosts don't need money, they don't need anything, they're dead," said Harry, with a roll of his eyes.
"Yes, but Hogwarts is an excellent place for ghosts, even if they don't need anything," hinted Dumbledore. Harry looked thoughtful; to help Peeves terrorize the students for a day would be beneficial for his report to George. But thinking of Hogwarts reminded him of the sorting hat, which reminded him of the Chamber of Secrets and Gryffindor's sword which lead him to thoughts of Horcrux's including the one in his pocket.
"Wait, wait!" called out Harry.
"Yes my boy?" asked Dumbledore with sparkly eyes of understanding, not that he understood a thing about Harry.
"What are you all doing here?" asked Harry as he eyed the small group of ten. Harry's eyebrows drew together as he looked at the Order of the Phoenix members.
"We are fighting a war, before it happens," answered Moody as he finally stood out of the shadows. Harry searched all the somber faces of the order members.
"Which is why a place like this is no good for a neutral member," answered Sirius. Remus frowned at the words but nodded none the less. For reason the group didn't understand Harry's face broke out into a grin.
"I've never been told that!" exclaimed Harry with a dreamy look, "I like the way that sounds!"
"Which is why Hogwarts is the best place for you to be," said Moody, with a gruff look on his face.
"Sure, I'll apparate there in a jiffy, but first, catch!" Harry called throwing a chained object at Kreacher.
"Unknown Master…" cried Kreacher, his magically cleansing tears leaked from his eyes. Everyone ignored Dung's cursing in the background once the dirty man caught sight of the ring.
"I'll even help you obey the last master's wishes too," promised Harry. Sirius cried out in what could only be disappointment.
"Why doesn't he listen to ME!" he yowled, Harry ignored him before he floated closer to the ground.
"So fiend-fire is awesome, and I know a chamber where you can find this creature with electrifying eyes, that can cremate the thing in moments," Harry answered.
"Fiend-fire is pretty," answered Kreacher as he gave a wicked grin that revealed his grotesque teeth, Harry nodded in way of answer determinedly keeping his eyes locked on to Kreacher's.
"Are you trying to burn down the block!" cried Mrs. Weasley in her punishing tone.
"But Mrs. Weasley," cried Harry, "House-elves magic is made for Fiend-fire!"
"Harry, I doubt that," reprimanded Dumbledore. The other members regarded Harry with a disapproving look.
"Fine no Fiend-fire in the house Kreacher," before quickly adding, "or around… people?"
Mrs. Weasley and Dumbledore nodded, supporting Harry's continuation. Kreacher agreed with no problem.
"So field is good, Master?" asked Kreacher, clarifying Harry's statement. Harry nodded, and with a Crack! Kreacher was gone.
"Why is it you two are determined to destroy that lovely piece of Jewelry?" asked Dumbledore, who stood morning the spot Kreacher had stood at.
"It was terribly gaudy and so someone told Kreacher to destroy the thing, Kreacher agreed wholeheartedly, he has an eye for these things you know, but the things protected so I was helping him out with suggestions," shrugged Harry. Dumbledore gave one more regretful look at the spot and turned to Harry.
"Ghost cannot apparate, and so I will summon you from Hogwarts, alright?" inquired Dumbledore. Harry nodded after a moments glance around.
"Alright, that's fine with me."
"Sirius if you could escort me to your floo, I'm afraid I haven't the slightest where it is," Dumbledore said without an ounce of embarrassment. Harry felt like laughing, what a ridiculous notion, Dumbledore not knowing something.
"Right this way… Oh by the way I was wondering if I could get a visitor's pass…" Sirius was saying before he disappeared behind the two way door of the kitchen.
"Well deary, I'm glad you've found a place to go, everyone deserves that," said Mrs. Weasley. Harry smiled charmingly at her.
"It was great meeting you all, even though it had to be after the terrible eradication of my soul from my body," dramatically said Harry. Moody rolled his eyes while Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Remus gasped; the others of the group had followed Dumbledore into the kitchen to floo home.
"Stop being melodramatic," said Moody. Harry nodded in agreement.
"Sorry, I think it's a bit left over from being an orphan," said Harry. Moody rolled his eyes again, while Mrs. Weasley had a pitying look on her face.
"Oh don't worry Mrs. W., it wasn't to bad living in the cupboard under the stairs for eleven years, and the heated words and stinging blows from my only relatives as they tried to 'beat the magic out of me' doesn't ache like it use too, honest," Harry said adopting the most pathetic beaten puppy look. Harry looked at Moody and saw even his gruff exterior looked ruffled. Somewhere in Harry's speech Remus had snuck out of the room, not that Harry minded.
"Oh my… It wasn't your relatives that…" began Mrs. Weasley. Harry didn't hear the end as he was whisked away like a cow in a twister.
"Oh there you are Harry," smiled Dumbledore from behind his desk, "I was wondering when you were going to show up."
Harry had a wicked sense of nostalgia as he spotted some of the instruments he had demolished some years ago.
"What a pleasant view you have up here," said Harry as he looked into a crystal ball filled with smoke. He had learned from Hermione that it was a looking glass that allowed only a certain person to view any property they owned.
"The shapes the smoke makes is quite astounding some days," agreed Dumbledore with an all knowing look on his face. Harry only nodded.
"Finally you're here!" bayed a voice from by the door. Harry only raised an eyebrow at this surprise visit.
"Of course I'm here Minerva," answered Dumbledore calmly. The professor bristled and looked at the Headmaster with a heated look.
"There is a certain group in the halls making a ruckus, I think it is expedient that you confront them and explain the rules of Hogwarts they may have forgotten," demanded Minerva. Dumbledore obediently nodded his head while looking down at his fiddling hands.
"Right of course, Minerva," said Dumbledore who finally looked her in the eyes, even though he had to look through Harry to see her, "oh Minerva, I'd like you to meet Harry, he might be a poltergeist, or a spirit, he hasn't decided yet."
"Another one Albus, this isn't a dog pound," said Minerva with a chastising look in Albus direction.
"Oh, don't worry Professor, I'm only here for the day," said Harry as he drifted closer to the transfiguration teacher.
"No one goes to Hogwarts for only the day, Mr. …" Minerva paused looking at Harry expectantly.
"Potter," grudgingly said Harry. Minerva nodded, while Dumbledore look puzzled.
"As in the Professors?" asked Dumbledore, Harry looked lost. For the first time Dumbledore actually considered that this boy might be a muggle, because if he hadn't heard of Professor's Potter and Potter, then he hadn't been to Hogwarts in the last 15 years.
"As in a person who makes pottery actually," stated Harry. Dumbledore looked concernedly at Harry and exchanged a look with Minerva.
"So Harry would you like to see the grounds? I can have a student escort you around while Albus and I take care of the deviant set," said Minerva. Harry nodded, even if he knew Hogwarts inside and out, he knew he couldn't refuse.
"Sounds good to me," granted Harry. Minerva nodded briskly and turned to Dumbledore.
"Mr. Potter follow me and Albus, we should find you an escort in a matter of moments," said Minerva. Harry was only slightly surprised that she would give such a job to any passer by.
They exited the Gargoyle staircase and like Minerva predicted they ran into a student in moments.
"There you are Professors!" cried a familiar voice. Harry showed his first interest in entering the castle and looked at the young witch.
"How old are you?" asked Harry as he looked at the witch who in his mind was too old to be there.
"17, what's it matter?" asked the girl.
"Well it doesn't…" said a dumbfounded Harry before Dumbledore cut him off.
"Ms. Granger, which way is the scalawags?" asked the headmaster.
"Professor Potter and his friends are that way, I'm afraid they ran into Potter Jr. and his friends and are hassling anyone and everything," the brilliant witch answered, relief that someone was on\ there way to help.
"Right, while we deal with the Marauder's do you mind escorting Mr. Potter around the castle, he's a new ghost that Albus let in and needs to be shown the grounds," the Professor said.
"Another Potter to join the fray?" groaned Hermione. Harry grinned.
"Well we suspect I might be a poltergeist, so I might have to join in the fray, as you say," grinned Harry as he looked down at the counterpart of his best friend.
"Argh," groaned Hermione again. The two watched as the two Professors disappeared down the hallway.
"Who's Potter Jr.?" asked Harry after a few moments of walking or floating (respectfully) in silence.
"Harry Potter, the Professor's Potter and Potter's demon child," said Hermione, "don't get me wrong I like Professor Potter, and Professor Potter is alright, if sometimes a bit childish, but their kid is just Satan embodied."
"I'd always wondered how that would have worked out," said Harry, thoughtfully.
"What would have worked out?" questioned Hermione, looking like she already regretted it.
"How you'd explain two Professor's with the same name," disclosed Harry. Hermione giggled, she couldn't help it with the solemn tone Harry deigned to use.
"So a new ghost, when did you die," asked Hermione before a frazzled look came on her face, "not to offend you or anything, I mean you don't have to…"
"Naw, don't worry, it doesn't bother me, I mean I guess, technically I died today, I mean it wasn't really a big deal…"
"Today! As in your body is out there somewhere, still warm?" cried out Hermione in despair.
"Well of course it's still warm, if you must know my heart's still beating and my brain is still kickin' too," said Harry with a roll of his eyes, "I'm not really dead, as I've told everyone already, but no one listens."
"If you aren't dead then how are you all ectoplasmic?" asked Hermione as she poked Harry in the side. Harry shrugged.
"Experiment gone completely right, I guess," said Harry nonchalantly. Hermione frowned.
"Someone is testing how to turn a person into a ghost temporarily?" asked Hermione.
"Well not really testing that, he's testing a device for the perfect get away," said Harry.
"That doesn't seem responsible of you to be participating in such things for only being a teen," Hermione answered. Harry rolled his eyes, he hadn't heard her spew such nonsense since 1st year.
"I'm an adult in the government's eyes, and besides, what was I suppose to do say no?" asked Harry, his face drawn in disgust.
"Yes, that is what your where suppose to say," said Hermione.
"What does it matter to you anyway? What if I needed the money? What if I had a large family of 18 with a sick mother and a dead father to take care of? Are you trying to tell me that I shouldn't take the 50 pounds I could get to feed my family?" inquired Harry, knowing the best way to get to Hermione was to imply she wasn't being rational.
"Oh-Oh my, yes… well it's unethical…but…but… if you really need the money," said a distressed Hermione. Hermione looked stricken and Harry smirked. "That was all bull wasn't it?" Hermione asked after a break in the conversation.
"Yeah, pretty much, I mean my father is dead but then so is my mum," grinned Harry.
"I bet you're an only child too and you're a bloody millionaire that's really related to the Potter's," moaned Hermione in defeat at Harry's nod.
"Only it's more like billionaire, I've been investing in all the right places," said Harry. Hermione rubbed her temples and walked silently down the hall.
"Just so you know, I refuse to take you to see your relatives, any of them, you'd only encourage them," said Hermione. Harry nodded; he hadn't expected her too. Harry was slightly surprised by Hermione's acceptance of his ridiculous story and for some reason that nagged at him.
"Why do you believe me?" asked Harry as he floated through a wall instead of turning the corner like he normally would have.
"Well magic might have it's restrictions, but I watched magic turn a tea cup into a miniature Griffin, I've also seen person be declared brain dead but is still kept alive for years by machines, so whose to say an alive person can't be temporarily detached from their bodies and still have it being kept alive by machines?" asked Hermione, Harry smiled, only Hermione would think to combine Muggle and Magic technology.
"That's awesome Hermione…" started Harry.
"What's this, is Granger trying to teach a ghost?" drawled a voice from in front of them.
"Go away Weasley," growled Hermione. Harry watched his two friends argue in disinterest; after all he was use to it.
"Why are you so weird Granger?" asked Ron. Harry yawned and watched with half-lidded eyes at Ron and his group.
"Professor McGonagall told me to escort him," argued Hermione with a blush. Ron smirked as he shared a look with Ginny and Seamus.
"So you finally admit to being a teacher's pet," sneered Seamus as he prowled closer to Hermione, Ron following close behind.
"Stop twisting my words, Finnigan," snapped Hermione as she backed up. Ginny wasn't getting involved as she observed Harry and he observed her.
"Granger, Granger, Granger, why do you even try, why not become a Doctor or Lawyer in the muggle world?" Ron asked not thinking the professions he said were highly respectable careers. Harry watched disgust appear on Ginny's face as she turned her back on her brother.
"If you persist in approaching Finnigan, Weasley, I-I w-will deduct point-s-s," Hermione stammered as she continued to step back. Harry raised an eyebrow at Ginny, trying to get her to intervene.
"Are you planning on stopping your brother from- well stopping whatever he's stupidly trying, Ginny?" whispered Harry. Ginny finally looked down, her cheeks ablaze in shame.
"I can't, he won't listen to me," mumbled Ginny. Harry's eyes narrowed into slits, and when Ginny looked up she felt as though she was the worst person on the planet.
"I bet you want me to stop him then?" whined Harry. Ginny's face matched her vibrant hair.
"What can you do, you're a ghost," said Ginny as she toed the ground, and refused to look up.
"Typical," tsk'ed Harry as he zoomed over to Hermione's side, "Boo!"
"Like you can scare us!" guffawed Seamus and Ron. Harry smirked.
"Harry…" started Hermione.
"I'm sorry to interrupt this lover's spat," said Harry, at Ron's horrified look he continued, "oh come off it Ron, I'm sure everyone can see that you're mad for her, really."
"Harry…" warned Hermione. Harry rolled his eyes.
"I mean Seamus' get more creative if you want it to hurt…"
"Harry!" cried Hermione.
"And Ron stop being so half-hearted about it, if you insist on being a bully…"
"Harry!"
"You have to commit, I mean take lessons from Voldemort…"
"Harry Potter!"
"I mean he was willing to kill by age… well sometime before 11…"
"Harry Potter! Stop! You are not helping-"
"Hermione, I'm ghost, I thrive on History!"
"You're only part ghost!"
"Okay fine Poltergeist, but really it shouldn't matter-"
"That's not what I mean, and you know it!"
"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, look around, smell the roses, and acknowledge the extremely pale boy to the right of you."
"Oh My… Ron are you alright?" cried Hermione as she flew to his side. Seamus snapped out of his shock and so did Ginny.
"He-He just compared me to Vo-Vargh-" Ron literally gagged on the name.
"It wasn't exactly undeserved; you've been a real incompetent snarky git for like that last 3 years," said Hermione. Ginny nodded from her brother's other side. Harry floated over to Ginny's side.
"Never forget the power of words, Gin," whispered Harry into her ears. Ginny went rigid, and Harry floated through her and Ron (who both shuddered at the sensation) until he was beside Hermione.
"Well you seem to be regaining your color," Hermione cheerfully said as she backed away from Ron. Harry nodded in agreement.
"Hey Hermione can you show me the Great Hall?" asked Harry, innocently.
"I'm not introducing you to any of your relatives," said Hermione, Harry only pouted in her direction as they began to walk down the hall.
"Not even Professor Potter?" asked Harry. Hermione gaped in horror at the prospect.
"Never Professor Potter…but maybe Professor Potter…" Hermione paused.
"You're related to the Potter's?" called Ginny from down the hall. The two paused and turned to look at her, behind Ginny stood two guilty boys. Harry smiled impishly before nodding.
"Yeah, but Hermione doesn't want to introduce a temporary Poltergeist to any of the Potter's," answered Harry. All four Hogwarts students shivered in what could only be horror.
"…So it's genetic?" softly asked Ron. Harry shrugged.
"Actually the gene devoted to pranks bypassed me," said Harry. All four students gave him a look, the three from behind had caught up to the two by now.
"I don't believe you, Poltergeist," said Seamus.
"Part Poltergeist," said Harry and Hermione. The two exchanged a look and broke out laughing. The other three shifted nervously as they watched the girl and ghost.
"Hermione…" began Ginny as she shared a look with Ron and Seamus.
"Yes," coldly said Hermione.
"Look, I'm sorry…" said Ginny. Hermione looked into Ginny's eye's reading into the deeper meaning and Hermione gave a blinding smile. Harry watched the two boys, and with a smirk watched the gob smacked look on Ron's face at Hermione's smile. Total Infatuation thought Harry.
"Hermione, I'm-" began Ron.
"We're!" amended Seamus.
"We're so sorry, really…" said Ron as he stared down at his shoes. Hermione tilted her head to look Ron in the eyes.
"For some reason after 2 ½ years of ignoring my existence, and then for ½ a year torturing it, I can't believe you," Hermione said, a stern frown on her face.
"But I…" started Ron, I like you whispered Ron in his head. Harry looked at his best friends with an unfazed look, he knew it would work out, it just wouldn't be sooner.
"You'll have to make it up to me you two!" declared the softhearted Hermione. Harry rolled his eyes.
"That's so cheesy," grumbled Harry.
"In some instances things call for cheese," said Hermione, with a radiant smile. The group continued on their adventure down the hall.
"You're more forgiving then I am Hermione," answered Harry.
"What makes you say that?" asked Hermione.
"It took me minutes to forgive my enemy once I saw he wasn't all bad, it only took you seconds," explained Harry. Hermione and he shared a knowing smile.
"I didn't know Potter's held grudges," said Seamus as he looked at the ghost and the girl, "I mean after all Professor Potter is always preaching about not making any enemies before you know them."
"Just ask Professor Potter about Severus Snape," replied Harry with a shudder of mild disgust at the images in his head.
"Professor Snape?" asked Ginny surprised. Harry didn't answer as he recognized where Hermione was taking them.
"Hermione! You sly dog, I know where we're going!" cried out Harry, as he rushed towards the large doors that led to the Great Hall.
"I knew I was going to regret this!" laughed Hermione as she rushed towards the ghost she looked back at the straggling trio, "aren't you guys coming?"
"Yes, you two are going too fast!" cried Ron, as he ran to catch up to the ghost and the girl. They reached the door in record time and then stood in the entrance just in time to see the mayhem.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" howled a voice above the rest. Standing in front of the teacher's table, posed like a vibrant warrior was Lily Potter, glaring at the Gryffindor table, through the mass avian attack on the hall. Ghost Harry smiled widely down at Hermione, Ginny, Ron and Seamus.
"I'm so glad I'm a Poltergeist right now," said Harry as a crow flew directly through his head in a dive to peak the ghost's face off.
"Only part," grumbled Hermione as she transfigured the bird tangled in her hair into a bobby pin.
"Ms. Granger, you can never be part Spirit," said the cheery voice of Nearly Headless Nick.
"That may be true Nicky, but not for me," grinned Harry. Nick turned startled and examined the spirit before him with wide curious eyes.
"It would seem so," bewilderedly agreed Nick, "how is that possible?"
"Well George wanted to test the White-Lightinator on me," began Harry.
"George Weasley?" asked a pale Ron. Harry looked at Ron with a smile.
"George is a common name mate," said Harry, Ron nodded but didn't agree with Harry.
"White-Lightinator, is something that George has been working on, Fred refuses to be apart of the scheme this time, so you must be the moron that finally agreed to help him test it!" explained Ron.
"You mean he's been working on this for YEARS!" blustered Harry. Ron nodded, and Harry scowled.
"Never agree to anything that involves the Twin's Harry!" chastised Hermione, Harry pouted.
"I can't believe the White-Lightinator kill's people," cried Ron, "I can't believe George killed you!"
"Well he didn't kill me, and He did mention I'd become a ghost," said Harry.
"What do you mean you aren't dead? You're a ghost!" cried Ginny, finally grasping the implications of Ron's nattering.
"He's being kept alive by Muggle machines," answered Hermione calmly as she systematically turned each and ever bird willing to attack her hair into hair products, she eventually extended her service to include Ginny's hair as well.
"Mum!" came a girly shriek that had everyone turning to see a black-haired youth ducking behind Neville Longbottom, "It was Dad and Sirius and Peter! I swear I can't do anything like this!"
"It's true, the boy can barely pull off turning a Porcupine into a pin cushion," whispered Hermione into Harry's ghostly ear.
"Hey, I can make this way worse for them too," whispered Harry to the group. They looked at him funny.
"How?" questioned Ginny, "The prank gene missed you."
"Yeah but I got an extra dose of trouble attraction to make up for the deficiency," explained Harry. Hermione shrugged at their questioning look.
"Alright let's see this," said Ron.
"Yeah how good is your trouble gene?" asked Seamus.
"Alright which person do you think needs more trouble, Professor Potter or Harry?" asked Harry.
"Harry," simultaneously said all four and Nearly Headless Nick, who was still drifting nearby.
"Oh, just make sure you keep an eye out for Voldemort, he usually shows up to make more trouble for me," nonchalantly said Harry. All four (plus Nick) gulped in fright as they a sudden sense of paranoia gripped them and they continually looked over their shoulders.
Harry drifted lazily over to the mother and son duo. He felt only the beginning of nervousness grip him. He channeled his energy into smoothing out his hair to match the pictures he had of his father, while still hiding the faint outline of his scar. He also tapped his glasses with his ghostly wand to change the rims. Harry was seriously glad that ghost's had no eye color so he didn't have to change them.
"Lily, don't believe him!" cried Harry in his best James voice. Lily Potter whirled around a scowl on her face before she caught a look at him.
"James Potter what happened to you?" she cried.
"Harry and Sirius both tried to shoot a spell and they both hit me, turning me transparent," the false James said.
"Right and why were Harry and Sirius throwing spells around?" asked Lily, no nonsense look on her face. Harry nervously looked around, glad that young Harry was speechless and McGonagall wasn't insight.
"You know how Harry needs all the help he can get to become an Auror, Flower of my eye," said Harry laying it on thick. Lily's eye's narrowed; Harry relaxed despite Lily's suspicions, after all what could she do to a ghost?
"I thought I told you never to call me flower again?" glared Lily.
"I referred you to a flower Lil's, I didn't call you one," smiled Harry. He was surprised this wasn't as awkward as it seemed it would.
"Professor Potter, do you mind stopping the birds?" cried a student from beside the two arguing parents.
"James would you like too?" asked Lily.
"Whatever Harry did, it's to complex for me to fix, I'm not as good as you Lils," answered Harry with a shake of his head. He was only temporarily distracted by the group of 4 that led him to the Great Hall approach trying to signal something to him.
"I find that hard to believe for an Arthimancy Professor as well as one that excels in transfiguration," said the pleasant voice of Dumbledore from behind him. Harry looked over his shoulder, a careless look in his eyes.
"Finite!" chanted Lily as she sent the spell at Harry's chest. It went straight through him.
"It seems I've gone ghost," said Harry as he looked into a glaring Lily's eyes.
"Do you really think I couldn't recognize my own husband?" asked Lily. Harry gave her a half-lidded look and covered a yawn behind his hand.
"No I don't suppose you would, but admit I had you caught if only for a minute," smoothly declared Harry. Lily's blush gave her away, but she continued to babble.
"No you didn't..." began Lily, at a simple look from Harry still masquerading as James she cracked, "fine but after I saw James enter with Albus and McGonagall, you didn't have me fooled."
Harry nodded with a slight almost nonexistent smirk.
"I think I did pretty good for never meeting him," agreed Harry as he looked over at Hermione.
"It must be the genes," grumbled the girl.
"Jeans?" asked a masculine voice from behind them. Harry floated around until he was looking at Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James, all 4 standing next to McGonagall and Dumbledore.
"Miss Granger what do genes have to do with Harry's performance," asked Dumbledore.
"I wasn't acting Professor!" cried the younger Harry.
"I'm sorry Mr. Potter, I meant the other Harry," said Dumbledore pointing to the ghost. Hermione rolled her eyes at the younger Harry.
"Ghost-" began Hermione, but corrected herself as Harry the elder opened his mouth, "Part-Ghost Harry, admitted to being related to the Potter's."
"I highly doubt that," scoffed Sirius.
"James isn't exactly special in much," started Remus.
"James is special?" giggled Peter. Harry glared the most emotion he ever showed anyone of this world.
"What Remus means is that I'm the last Potter, aside from my kids of course," James said rolling his eyes at Peter's giggling.
"I didn't know that the Potter's family tree had no branches," said Harry sarcastically.
"Ew, Dad it's not is it?" asked younger Harry as he made a face.
"Harry I married your mother and she wasn't related to the Potter's even slightly," explained James.
"Try telling that to the scientist," grumbled Hermione. Harry the elder however started to laugh.
"What's the matter with you?" asked Lily.
"I'm just picturing the look of my aunt's face," explained Harry. Remus went a little green around the gills.
"The one…" began Remus, at Harry's chuckling nod Remus went slightly pale.
"Have I missed something?" asked Dumbledore, as he looked at the laughing Harry and paling Remus.
"I know what you mean kid, I can just picture my sister's face if she found out she was related to 'Magic Freaks'," said Lily, as she giggled at the picture of disgust on her older sister's face.
"Maybe we should move this conversation away from the listening walls?" suggested McGonagall.
"I really don't see the point they'll know by dawn anyway," carelessly declared Harry as his ears started to ring.
"True, but it's rather unlike a room," said Dumbledore. Harry finally gave a defeated sound as he turned to say goodbye to this world's version of his friends.
"See ya guys," said Harry even as the ringing intensified. The four nodded.
"I'll get your address from George," promised Ron.
"I doubt he'll remember, I plan on bludgeoning him so bad when I return to my body," said Harry before advising, "So expect amnesia, Ron, Ginny."
"Hey, don't forget to get that 50 pounds to feed your sick mother and the other 18 people of you family," joked Hermione.
"Touché," laughed Harry. He waved to Seamus and patted Ginny's head before drifting after the small mass of people waiting at the Great Hall doors.
When Harry got to the doors he saw a curious sight of a small blonde waiting in front of the crowd.
"Hey Luna, what's kickin'?" asked Harry as he drifted up to her. Luna's innocently wide blue eye's looked at Harry. He should have seen this one coming, Luna was about as all knowing as Albus Dumbledore, if not more so.
"Their calling you back," said the girl with a turn of her head and a glazed over look. Harry nodded in acceptance, hearing them too.
"You're ears are sharper then mine," smiled Harry, which Luna returned.
"You had better go, I think one is threatening to hex you," said Luna.
"That's probably Ginny, she's such a worry wart, you had better work on that with her here," said Harry. Luna giggled, but agreed none the less. Harry looked over at the group that stood waiting ahead of them. Luna noticed his worried look.
"I'll explain it to them, if you'd like," offered Luna. Harry's face split into the widest most brilliant smile; before he swooped down to give her a loose hug.
"You're a beam of light in the darkness Luna, don't let a soul tell you otherwise," declared Harry as he began to fade.
"I never do Harry," said Luna in a dreamy sigh. Once Harry was completely gone she turned to the group, "He's gone back, get over it."
With that she skipped over to the Ravenclaw table, humming an eerie tune never looking back at the gaping group.
Meanwhile Harry was coming too in his own world. With a giant yawn Harry turned on his side and nuzzled closer to his pillow.
"Harry, I swear to Merlin, if you don't wake up right now I'll hex you round the ears, 'til your brain falls out!" cried a shrill voice in his ear. Ginny was shaking his shoulders with a frantic energy.
"Gin, just calm down, it hasn't even been a full day!" warned George in smooth voice.
"If you killed him, George, with that dim-witted White-Lightinator I won't stop what Mum, Hermione and Ginny will do to you," called out Ron.
"Hey blame Harry, he's the one that agreed!" argued George.
"Without knowing that even Fred refused to be apart of this," mumbled Harry into his pillow, so no one heard.
"Even Fred wasn't dumb enough to agree to this!" cried Ginny, as she got off the bed Harry was placed on.
"That's what I said," groused Harry quietly
"Of course he wasn't, he isn't suicidal!" exclaimed George, "Harry however…"
"Attracts trouble, so duh, something is going to happen to him!" came Hermione's worried and irate voice.
"It's in the genes," grumbled Harry, which again went unheard by the arguing faction of the room. Harry groaned and slipped further under the blankets. He took his wand from his pant waistband and waved it to silence the arguing and close the curtains from around his bed, with a sigh; he crept out from under the stifling blankets and snuggled into his pillow. He was having such a good dream too. He'd just kill George later.
The End