It's 2 am in Kevin's car and all Maddie wanted to do was forget it. They had decided to go home with Kevin in his car, while Tim and Sally went back in a cab. Sophie had insisted on sitting in the back with Maddie, although she had insisted that she was "FINE". Her body openly fought her mind and she just wanted to be alone.
And yet she didn't.
"Are you okay?" she whispered into her ear for the millionth time.
"I would be if you'd just stop asking me that" she growled back.
Sophie shrunk back as if hit by a heat wave. Her head went down as she took a deep breath. It nearly hurt her to see that look on her girlfriend's face as it had to…
She didn't want to finish that thought. It was easy to start in on the jokes but if she let her mind dwell on it... No.
Instead she turned away and put her hand on the window knob on her side. Quickly she turned the knob to lower the windows down. Leaning her face out she felt that clammy January air whip into her face. Closing her eyes she let the memories start.
When Mrs. Connor had announced that the awards thingy would be fancy dress, Maddie had lowered her head in disappointment. Apparently she hadn't done a good job at hiding it.
"You're coming to the awards party right?" she heard behind her.
Turning around she saw the large eyes and blonde locks of Sinead Tinker. She shrugged as she grabbed her sandwich from the machine.
"Dunno. Kirk's going" she replied.
"You HAVE to com' " the blonde had insisted. "Y'see Chesney can't com' & neither can Sopheh soz...you can be my date aye?" she pleaded.
"But fancy dress..." Maddie whined as gestured disdainfully towards her own appearance.
"I thought so" Sinead smiled. "Just com'over tonight and I'll whip you up something" she continued excitedly. Maddie rolled her eyes but in the end she couldn't deny the girl.
Although a bit oddly frumpy, Sinead Tinker was one of those rare people. Their altruism could not be refused. Like Sophie, it softened her hard resolve and made her slowly nod in agreement.
"Don't worry! It'll just be Ches about & he don't care" Sinead laughed.
"Great" Maddie groaned.
After a few moments she rolled up the window. The brief exposure to the chill now left her shaking again. Sophie instantly wrapped her up in the blanket of her arms. It was that blanket that she had craved. Being lost in the brunette had always allowed her to say in her mind that everything was in the past, and drive straight ahead.
She didn't have to think about the white fear of having Tracy Barlow slipping through your fingers. Or Sophie's trembling arms as she engulfed her in the hospital. Or Sinead…
They had finally arrived home, all three of them knackered. Kevin grunted a good night and went to pay the sitter.
Maddie floated deliriously as Sophie pull her toward their room. So tired, Maddie couldn't even open the door handle. They didn't say a word between them as Sophie set her down softly. As Maddie watched Sophie's systematic movements, her throat began to close up. She had tried so desperately to hold it in, but the beauty of the gentle caresses on her skin as they eased her clothes off were wrecking her resolve. They had done these very actions before feverishly, but this time it wasn't sexual. Rather than hard and grasping, Sophie's hands were soft as silk. It was a pure reverence that Maddie felt as Sophie pulled her skirt off.
It broke her carefully constructed walls and her lip quivered. Sophie saw it but didn't say anything, she slowly slipped out of the room. When she returned the lip quivering had escalated to snivelling. And she had fought it hard.
Still Sophie said nothing, she only wiped a damp cloth across her shoulders. Careful of the cuts and bruises, she washed what she could. Then pressed her lips softly to her temples.
"Babe" she whispered into her ear. "Do you want to wash your hair? There's glass in it" she asked.
Maddie nodded and grasped Sophie's hand tightly.
"All you have to do is stay with me" she said with a strong but barely heard whisper.
"That's all you have to ask" Sophie said her voice shaky for the first time all night.
She placed a light kiss on her forehead. With that simple act, Maddie finally allowed herself the sweet surrender of letting all the tears go. She knew now that this life was all that she wanted. It was as if Sophie Lauren Webster was all that Madeline Ivy Heath had ever wanted.