The Blood Gulch Rap
Featuring Pvt. Dexter Grif
/
(Ugh, whatever) Hey, I'm Private Dexter Grif
And I smoke a lot of kiff
And my kiss-ass teammate made me do this
So I'll be all done in a jiff
/
I'm from Hawaii, my armor ain't gold
Fuck off, Donut, stop calling the color "bold"
The laundry can wash itself
And if it doesn't, the canyon's not exactly cold
/
I eat a lot of food
And I smoke a lot of joints
My job puts me in a bad mood
(Like, all the fucking time)
And I don't score any points
/
I'm on the Red Team but my armor's orange
And nothing rhymes with that, so, door-hinge
Our sergeant's a fucking psycho
I wish they left him back in storage
/
Everyone in this canyon's fucking stupid
I'm pretty sure Donut thinks he's cupid
He keeps trying to set us up with the Blues
And his plans are all so convoluted
/
So, yay, I'm fucking done
And, no, kiss-ass, it wasn't fun
You're annoying and I hate you
You're all lucky I never load my gun