There was something alluring about the moonlight. The way it filters through the half-shut blinds and bathes me in luminescence feels somehow cold, although it has no physical form.
On nights like this, I find myself pretending that I can feel your hands all over me, instead of the moon's. On nights like this, I find that somehow, I have travelled across the hall into your bedroom, asking if I can share the bed with you because I've had a nightmare or some plausible lie like that.
I suppose it's not that much of a lie. I suppose I've spent a very, very long time wishing that I didn't need some sort of reason to climb into bed with you- to hold you closely while not under the pretense that I am afraid of going back to sleep.
Though the whole truth is that I miss you, even if I had spoken to you only a few hours beforehand. I want to spend every waking minute with you, just talking- even if it is only about the day you had, even if it is only about what you want for dinner. The truth is that I think that everything about you is beautiful, and I love you with absolutely everything I have, I love you more than a sister is allowed to.
I wish that I didn't- that I didn't find myself staring at the silhouette of your body in the shower as I bring in a towel you forgot. That I hadn't memorised everything about the way your body curves. I wish that I hadn't stolen that comb of yours, your amaranth hair entangled in it's bone teeth which I keep wrapped up in a silk handkerchief in the third drawer of my dresser.
"Claire?" I tightly hugged my pillow as I softly spoke your name to try to wake you up. I couldn't sleep tonight, not with thoughts of you snatching away any chance of having any dreams.
You softly groaned and you turned in your sheets and lifted a part of the blanket for me to climb under.
You were in that in-between state of sleep and awake, and probably won't even remember me climbing into bed with you. A few strands of hair clung to your askew rose lips, your silk nightdress baring your pale breast, as the old buttons must have somehow been undone during your slumber. I couldn't help but smile; Claire Farron, the strong, confident sergeant, who has easily felled hundreds of adversaries of the law, lay vulnerable before me.
As I climbed into bed, I felt my heart begin to race; you put your arm around me, and held me close to your chest, your warmth radiating throughout my body. "nngh..." You pulled the sheets up over our heads and nuzzled into my hair, your legs desperately trying to wrap around mine. I had to try and stifle a giggle; you were most amorous when you were half asleep. "Goodnight," I said, as you kissed my forehead, giving me butterflies that could last for months. Sleep found me easily that night.
OOO
The sound of the radio interrupted my sleep. Of course Claire was already up by the time I had awoken, which is the exact opposite of what I was hoping for. Oh, what I wouldn't give to just lay in bed with her in the morning, being held in her strong arms.
I stretched my arms, let out a yawn and shielded my eyes from the sunlight filtering in from the blinds. I rolled over to try and escape from the almost blinding morning sunshine and found myself looking over the contents of Claire's room. Not much was out of place; everything was in perfect order aside from her uniform lazily strewn over the lone chair in her room. She must have had a tiring day at work yesterday. Come to think of it, she hadn't returned home until much later than usual.
I could hear the soft noise of running water from the shower in the other room, and decided that I should also get out of bed and start to make breakfast.
The pan angrily spat cooking oil, and the smell of eggs and bacon wafted throughout the house as I sleepily flipped the bacon, taking care to not burn it.
I think that the thing I miss the most about my old life was staying within the comfort of my sheets, not bothering to get up (despite being scolded by Mum), until I was absolutely sure that I could smell breakfast being cooked by Dad or Claire.
I was around sixteen back then, making it around three years since they both passed away in an accident. Our family was fairly wealthy, so there was an apt amount of money to survive on for a while, until I needed to find work.
Claire had just turned 19, and had been living away from home because of her job with Guardian Corps. When she heard about what had happened, she immediately demanded that I go to to Bodhum to live with her. When I arrived at her doorstep, she didn't utter a word, just held me tightly, her chest convulsing, her fingers entangled in my hair.
My thoughts were interrupted by the pitter-patter of the shower coming to a halt, and the sound of my sister's voice. "Serah?" she sheepishly called from the bathroom.
I laughed, and hurriedly made my way to the linen cupboard to take a clean towel to her. I believe she just assumes there will always be a towel in the bathroom for her, because she always seems to forget to grab one before she takes a shower.
"Here you go, you ditz." I smiled as a hung a clean towel on the rack for her, as she bashfully hid her body behind the shower curtain.
"I'm just tired, alright?" she said, her eyes looking at everything else but me. I simply laughed before I suddenly came to the realisation that I had left breakfast on the stove. "Oh no-" I started to say, before I slipped on the damp tiles.
"Serah!" Claire quickly stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in the towel and scooped me off of the ground and carried me to the kitchen table.
"Are you hurt anywhere?" She asked, making sure I hadn't hit my head on anything. "I- I'm fine!" I said, feeling a harsh, but blunt pain in my knee.
She glanced at the rapidly forming redness and mocked, "Here you go, you ditz." as she gave my knee a soft kiss.
My heart skipped and I felt my face start to burn up as I looked down at her, my limbs becoming limp. She suddenly stood up and went to the stove to take breakfast off heat, and screwed her face up at the sight of it.
"I've got some spare time before work, did you want to go to a cafe?" she asked, emptying the contents of the frying pan into the bin.
I nodded, unable to string together a proper sentence; that fluttery feeling in my chest hadn't subsided just yet.
"Well, you'd better get ready quickly, I don't have all of the time in the world," she smiled, making her way to her bedroom, probably to get changed.
OOO
I loved going to NORA house in the mornings. It was located right on the beach, and if Claire and I ever came here to have breakfast before she went to work, we were always just in time to see the sun rise.
The way that the fog delicately shrouded the offing was beautiful, the way that the pink and blue hues of the sky reflected on the ocean would almost of romantic, if Claire looked at me the same way that she gazed into the dawn.
We ordered breakfast and simply sat in the outside area in silence as we both were in a dalliance with our own thoughts.
"Lightning." I heard a deep, yet effeminate voice call out from behind me. Claire snapped out of her thoughts as she glanced up at a tall, amazonian looking woman walking towards our table.
She casually pulled up a chair and sat down at our table, smiling almost as if she were jesting here. "Fancy meeting you here," this beautiful woman spoke with a Pulsian lilt to her voice.
This foreign looking woman was on the lighter side of dark skinned- she probably spent a lot of her time in the sun. She had a pointed nose, and wavy dark hair that just reached past her shoulders. You could easily see her muscles rippling through the shirt that she was wearing.
"You just hadn't caught me yet." Claire sneered, although her eyes told a different story, by the way they were so drawn to this woman's biceps.
"And who's this young lady?" the apparent Pulsian spoke gesturing towards me in a way that irritated me a little, seeing as I don't like being pointed at.
"My name's Serah, I'm Claire's sister!" I forced a smile as I held out my hand, trying to be as nice as possible to my sister's friends.
"Fang," she stated, grasping my hand in a firm handshake. "Claire, is it?" Fang laughed as she turned towards my sister. "Come to think of it, you never had told me your actual name!"
Claire shot me a disdained look before the waitress brought out our food. "Anyway," the brunette said, "I just had to come in to see Lebreau, so I'll see you later Claire."
With that, Fang left the outdoor area, and headed to the women's bathroom.
"She didn't sound very friendly." I said, as we watched her leave. "Don't worry about her, she's just cocky." Claire answered, suddenly standing up, "I've got to go to the toilet, make sure the gulls don't touch my food."
I felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach when the bells of the door chimed as Claire went inside.