I hope you'll like it.
A huge thank you to Pogaymons (her username on Tumblr) for being my Beta Reader.
And don't hesitate to come say hello to me on Tumblr as well. (My username is Jadereylove)
SW
Their fingertips were touching; they were looking at each other very deeply in their eyes. Not knowing what would happen next between them. Outside the hut, all was silent. Inside, the only sound was their breathing in tandem as he carefully stood her on her feet, steadying her when it looked as if she was going to fall over. Rey was overwhelmed by all the feeling, all the emotion in her body. These strong emotions were so new. All her life, all she knew was loneliness. She never felt wanted in her life, until now.
"Are you all right?" He softly asked.
His voice was so soft and tender that it would have been difficult to imagine this man was a murderer. A man who killed his own father. This man was the same man she met in the forest, and yet, so different. His eyes were different when he was looking at her. His voice was different when he was talking to her. His body language was different when he was standing next to her. Something in her was telling her that she was safe with him, that he would never hurt her.
"I've never felt like this, and I don't why I'm feeling like this." She whispered as an answer, finding difficult to talk.
"Don't be afraid, I feel it too." He muttered, remembering the last time he said to her.
He was still not proud of how he dealt with the situation and how he treated her that day. If only he could have erased that day from their timeline. He wished he could have gone back in time and met her in a proper way. He wished he could have met her with no battle going on around them, with no fear in her eyes, without her running away from him and shooting at him. He would change everything if he would have the opportunity to. He was powerful, but sadly, he didn't have that power to change timelines. If only…
"What does that even mean?" she asked, frowning.
She remembered him telling her these exact same words. These words, whatever their meaning, had so much sense, and yet, none. Whatever she was feeling inside of her body and her mind, he was feeling the same. But what were these feelings?
"I don't really know." He answered. He could feel the conflict within her, and he knew the feeling perfectly.
This terrible sensation of being torn apart, without the possibility to do anything about it. He had a vague idea of what these emotions were between them. He was not as oblivious as her when it came to these feelings, even if he was as inexperienced as her. He had never, not even once, touched a woman intimately. When would he have been able to, anyway? And with whom?
"I felt something since the beginning, Rey. Since I met you, I knew something was special about you. I didn't know what or why. But now, I know."
He pulled her into his arms, and she surprisingly let him do so, her body fitting against his perfectly. He held her and she lost herself in the delicious, overwhelming sensations, unable to think or even remember the reasons why she shouldn't do this. She shouldn't let herself go there. She shouldn't let this happen. And yet, she was letting herself go there. For the first time in her life, she felt desired by someone. She felt protected, even if she was totally capable of defending herself, it was always a good feeling to know that someone was there to protect you, to have your back if you were in danger.
"So what is it?" Rey insisted. If he had the answers to some of her questions, she would be an idiot to not ask him. Luke was her Master, but he wasn't telling her everything she needed to know.
"This connection between us…" he added, still holding her in his arms. "This is a Force bond; I hope you know how rare it is. It usually occurs between Jedi Masters and their apprentices or between relatives but not between …."
"Enemies." finished Rey, starting to pull away from his arms as she felt her body start to tremble.
"No, not enemies" denied Kylo, tightening his embrace a little, absorbing the trembling of her body. It was becoming increasingly difficult to control his desire for her when they were together. "In my eyes, you were never my enemy, Rey. Since Starkiller, I saw you as my equal and …."
"NO! I'm no one!" she cried, she pulled away and his arms were already aching with loneliness. "I told you, when I was in that cave, I asked to be shown my parents. I asked! And the mirror didn't show me. And you know why? Because I'm no one, I'm worthless."
She couldn't hold back a sob that had been fighting to come out. She felt some tears in her eyes, so she quickly turned around. She didn't want to cry in front of him. That was the last thing she wanted. She took a long and deep breath, and closed her eyes. She was quiet for a moment and spoke again in a calmer voice:
"And to be honest, I don't understand why the force had created a bond … a connection between us. We have nothing in common; we are actually the opposite of each other."
"I beg to." he said with a little smirk. "Why did you turn your back to me? Are you afraid of crying in front of me? Ashamed?"
"I don't want to give you that satisfaction."
"Satisfaction?" repeated Kylo. "Rey, I thought you knew me enough by now to know that I don't get any satisfaction from seeing you cry. On the contrary, it actually makes me want to do this …"
Rey could feel his eyes burning holes into the back of her head, but she tried to shake this feeling away.
"Rey …" he whispered, moving behind her, his hand sliding sensuously up her arms, enjoying the way goose bumps formed across her soft, and still wet fair skin. He had never touched a woman before, and the feel of her against his skin was like flames under his hands. His sweet caress on her skin was a delight for Rey, her eyes closed; she was focusing on how good his hands felt against her skin. She just wanted to swing around and throw her arms around his neck. But she couldn't do that, she didn't know how to do that. Especially with him, who had probably had a hundred women in his bed. And weirdly, this thought was making her slightly ... jealous.
Kylo could feel her insecurity, so his lips went right next to her ear and murmured to her softly:
"Rey … I can feel you're feeling comfortable about this, and I can feel you're feeling upset and I know why. Just know I'm as inexperienced as you when it comes to intimacy. I never had sexual intercourse. I've never kissed anyone. If you were wondering, now you know. And if you want to, if you want me … then, I'm yours. My body is yours."
He had never been close enough to touch a woman? Not even a little kiss with another student when he was a teenager? Surely he had at least kissed a woman, she reasoned. Maybe he didn't care to remember, but she was pretty sure he did at some point kiss someone. She couldn't imagine a man almost ten years, her senior admitting that he had never done any of those things.
'You know I can take whatever I want.'
It had sounded so … sexual to her when she had heard him saying this. And until that day, she had deduced he was some kind of a womanizer. She had pictured him as a man, collecting women like objects, using prostitutes in brothels after successful missions.
But apparently not. And he wasn't lying to her; she could tell he was honest to her about that. He was a virgin, like her. And for some reason, she felt like the weight of a whole planet was lifted off of her shoulders.
She fought the temptation to press her back against his chest, but she knew it was a useless attempt. She brutally turned around to face him when she felt her back finally touched his chest.
"Do you promise?" she asked. She didn't need to finish the question because she saw in his eyes he understood what she was talking about. She was simply asking if he was promising to stay with her, to never let her alone, to never leave her after the upcoming event between them.
"I promise, sweetheart." He promised.
He brushed her hair to the side and pressed a soft kiss on her neck. He felt her body tremble in his arms, the feeling making his heart pound. His right arm encircled her waist and held her against him while he peppered kisses on her neck. She closed her eyes at the feel of his lips on skin and allowed her head to fall to the side. She felt his lips on her neck, then on her cheek. …
and then his lips touched hers.
The moment their lips touched, it was as though they'd never been apart. He slid his hands into her hair and deepened the kiss, and her mind had no room for wondering. She stopped thinking at all, only feeling, feeling the tenderness of his kiss, the strength of his arms around her. He gently broke the kiss to look at her. His eyes were devouring her as is she were a cool glass of water after a long day of work on Jakku.
"You are so beautiful, Rey." He whispered, his lips centimetres from her own, before placing a tender kiss on the tip of her nose.
He didn't have any experience with intimate touches, but this man still knew what to do to drive her crazy. Maybe the Force was guiding him.
"We both never did that … how are we …?" she asked, after finally finding her voice to ask the question.
"I watched a holo when I was a teenager, I remember a little bit. And I read a few books about … this. We can start from there and then, I guess, we'll gain experience … together …"
"So you're planning of doing this … multiples time ... with me?" she said, with a little smirk.
"I hope if you want to, of course. I would never …"
"I know."
"Once we make love, there is no turning back." His hands closed around her face. "You will belong to me, as I have always belonged to you. I will not let you go."
"I know."
"Really?"
"I don't want you to let me go, Ben" she murmured. Maybe his warning should have scared her, but it didn't. She knew this was indeed forever; this bond was the proof of it. The Force wanted them together; the bond had been created for a reason between them. They were meant to be together, and she felt it. And she was sure he had felt it as well.
"Make love to me, Ben."
"I can't take … take you like that; we … we ... we need to take … our time." babbled Kylo.
"I don't understand … why?" asked Rey with a little frown on her face.
"Um …." He hesitated. He was blushing. In a way, he was glad to know a little bit about the subject but in another way, explaining was a bit embarrassing. He didn't know how to choose the right words, without scaring her or making her uncomfortable.
"All we have to do …" he stopped a few seconds before quickly saying "I just have to get you wet … you and there get me hard." Well, seeing the look on her face, he didn't choose the right words …
Rey was blushing deeply and said:
"I don't know how. I mean, Jakku never taught me that …"
"Do you want me to start?" he softly asked. Rey nodded, a little bit ashamed of her lack of knowledge. And of course, noticing her shame and cupped her face with his hands.
"Rey, remember. My knowledge is just from what I watched when I was younger … and from some books I found."
Rey gave him a little smile before kissing him gently on his lips. He added:
"I'm going to start, and then I'll show you how to pleasure me."
"All right …" she whispered. She took the blanket around her shoulder and spread it on the ground for them to lie down on it.
He leaned down to her and kissed her tenderly. He moaned lightly as he felt her lips kissing back. He ran one of his hands down her back and slid down the sides of her hips. She was embarrassed by how wet she was down there already, but she was slowly learning that there was no need to hide anything from Kylo. He was as excited as she was, and there was no shame about it. She wanted him; he wanted her, and everything was extremely exciting. Her arousal grew, the ache between her legs demanding attention, her own nipples tightening almost painfully inside the soft fabric of her shirt.
She felt his hands slide down her body, what remained of her clothing suddenly felt unbearably confining. She couldn't take it anymore, and Kylo smiled at her obvious excitement. He kissed her before lifting her shirt and she raised her arms so he could remove it easily, and of course, she wasn't wearing any brassiere or bra. Nothing. Her breasts were more perfect than he had imagined, and the Force knows how he had imagined them.
He leaned her back on the blanket and helped her remove her pants, pulling them down together with her underwear.
"Here you go." He murmured affectionately.
And she was beautiful. Beauty in a woman was not something he had ever taken the time to notice before, until meeting her. Before meeting his Rey, women were just stormtroopers or officers. He had never thought about them, about what he could do with them or even fall in love. They were just co-workers. But when he met Rey in that forest, something deep inside awakened. He noticed her beauty; he noticed her body and face. He noticed everything he never had before in a woman.
"Such beautiful breasts, Rey. I want to taste them."
He was looking at Rey's body with frank admiration. His hand cupped a breast, and one thumb finally moved to tease a hard nipple.
"Do you want me to taste them, Rey?"
"Yes," she managed. Her own voice sounded strange in her ears.
With lips and tongue, he followed the curve of her neck down to her shoulder. His hot mouth descended at last, his tongue circling before he took the hard peak between his lips. His fingers were caressing Rey's stomach as he lavished attention on her breasts.
She gasped and tilted her head back as the pleasure shot through her body, enjoying his sweet teasing. He released her nipple with a wet, sucking pop that made her moan.
Kylo's hands slid up and down Rey's creamy thighs, teasing them apart. He groaned as he discovered the abundant moisture her arousal had produced.
"You're beautiful, Rey. You're so wet. I want to taste you … I need to taste you, Rey. Can I?"
Not trusting her voice, she simply nodded with a little smile. She wanted to experiment everything he could offer to her.
Her whole body jerked when Kylo finally pressed his finger against her clitoris. She squirmed helplessly as one of Kylo's long fingers pushed into her and began stroking slowly in and out. He knew one finger was enough for now. Two fingers would hurt her, and he didn't want that to happen. That's why he was terrified about the "real act", he was aware that the size of his manhood was quite impressive. That is why he needed to be extremely tender and soft. He had to prepare her, slowly and tenderly.
His lowered his head between her legs and he began to lick the inside of her thigh, moving from one thigh to the other as he worked his way up to her folds. She felt hot breath on her clit, before softly touching her clit with his lips. His large hands instantly went to restrain her thighs, keeping them apart so he could continue. She was moving against his mouth, rocking her hips. His fingers were moving a little bit faster, his tongue licking ever so gently on her clitoris. Her eyes were locked on his, her hips moving back forth as she felt his fingers moving faster and faster.
"Ben … oh Force … I'm going to …" she moaned. He could felt the signs of her impending orgasm; he remembered reading about orgasms. Apparently, for women, their walls were tightened even more when their orgasms were coming. And like for himself; he didn't want her to come now. He wanted her to come around him, feel her wall tightened around him.
So suddenly, he removed his fingers quickly, frustrating her enormously.
"Not yet, sweetheart. You taste so good." he said, licking her juice on his two fingers, moaning at the taste of her on his tongue.
Rey pushed herself up on her elbows to look at him and smiled at him.
"So it's your turn, now."
Oh, now his turn had come, and he was deeply excited about her hands and mouth exploring his body. He had always wondered about the feeling of loving touches on his body. And now, he was about to find out and he was so excited to discover it … with Rey.
She put her hands on his chest and was looking at his clothes. After a few seconds, he understood she was trying to figure it out how to remove his clothes. He smiled affectingly and took her hands in his.
"Let me remove my clothes. It's quite tricky." He whispered in her ears.
She nodded, and she watched him remove his clothes until he was totally naked in front of her.
Her eyes were exploring his body, from head to toe. He was … absolutely … totally … unbelievably … gorgeous. Her eyes stopped at his erection, the subject of so many fantasies for so many years. It was better than her imagination; more impressive than she had ever quite dared to hope. Her eyes actually widened as she saw how big and thick he was. She was supposed to … oh. Oh wow! That would be delightful, even if she didn't know if that would be pleasant for her too. She needed to taste him, and she wanted to feel him inside her mouth. A sly smile escaped her lips, as she approached him and started to kiss his neck softly.
She explored his chest with her mouth, kissing her way down. She could feel the demanding throb of his erection against her body. She couldn't wait anymore; she needed to touch him … there. She took his massive girth with her small hand … well; she never noticed how small her hand was until now.
"Like this …"
"Yeah, just like this. Now … you … let me show you …"
He put his hand over hers and slowly, he started to slide her hand up and down the length of his cock. Her hand grasped him tightly, and slowly, ever so slowly, stroked along his length. She squeezed him a little bit which made in moan in pleasure, pumping him faster, while she put a light kiss on his chest.
"Do you like that, Ben?"
"Oh yes," he replied in a strained whisper. "I like that very much."
"Good."
He moaned again before raising himself on his elbow to look at her and proposed to her:
"You can take me in your mouth if you want. Same movement as the hand … You don't have to, of course, I will not force you to …"
He didn't even get the chance to finish his sentence that she took him into her mouth, rubbing her tongue against the vein along the bottom of his cock and taking him deeper into her mouth, then pulling back. His hand was in her hair after a few short seconds and he groaned, his fingers tightening in her hair. She was resting her hands on his thighs; she eased her head down and began, easily and slowly … oh very slowly, to slide her mouth up and down his length, in a regular rhythm. His eyes were closed, totally lost under her touch.
This girl … no, this woman was the first and will be the last. He never had thought it would feel so good. But he knew, deep inside, that she was the only one who could make him feel like this. And that is why he wanted her to be the only one. For 29 years, he waited. What did he wait? Why did he wait? Who did he wait? He didn't know at the time, but he was convinced that he needed to wait for the right person. But after turning to Snoke, after joining the First Order, it was inconceivable to search for the right person. He knew he wouldn't find her there. And Force, he was right. He had waited 29 years, but he found her. He had finally found her.
Rey.
His Rey.
He knew he was about to come in a minute, and she could feel how much he was struggling for control. She moaned and sank deeper in him, relaxing her jaw to take him deeper and faster.
"Stop, Rey, please." His request was at odds with the movement of his hips. Torn between obeying his plea and continuing, she took him more fully into her mouth. She heard him gasped, but she felt his hand on her hair to stop the movement of her head. His voice was barely audible. "Please. Not before you. Stand up, Rey."
She gave him one last stroke, then released his length and pressed a gentle kiss on the head. She had enjoyed giving him a … whatever this act was called. She was a little proud of herself, seeing his look on his face; she could tell he had enjoyed it as well … a lot.
"Are you sure, you seemed to like it a lot?"
"Rey, I want to come at the same time or after you. But not before. Please." He pleaded.
"Okay."
He smiled at her and gently pushed her backwards onto the blanket. He drew back slightly and rained soft kisses on her cheeks, her chin, her foreheads, on her lips and then her neck, just below her ear. Rey gasped as his hand cupped her small breast and squeezed gently. His arousal pressed into her belly and she couldn't suppress a moan at the movement of his amazing mouth against the sensitive skin behind her ear. She arched her body into his, pressed her stomach against his hard ridge of his desire. She wiggled against him, pressing harder, needing his touch. Suddenly, he stopped kissing her neck, and he looked at her.
"I know … from the book I read, that for women, it can hurt. But I don't want to hurt you, Rey. Even for this." She needed to know he would never hurt her, never again. And she needed to know that the act of making love could hurt her at first.
"We came this far, Ben. I think it's too late to back down now." She replied with a little smile. "I don't care about the pain. I guess it will pass, right?"
Kylo simply nodded, but Rey could see the worry in his eyes.
"We need to stop thinking, Ben We just need to feel. Oh and Maker, I want to feel you" She said seductively. Oh … this woman.
"If the pain is intolerable, tell me to stop." He suggested to the tiny woman under him. "I'll stop immediately."
She looked up at him nodded with a little smile, knowing what was about to happen in the following seconds. She waited for the pain to come and in a way; she will welcome the pain with open arms. She will welcome him inside her. She was ready.
He slid slowly into her, going deeper and deeper each time he shifted his body.
He felt a barrier … THE barrier. Of course, a part of him was proud to be her first, like he was sure, she was proud to be his first. But he wished he could spare her the pain. But he couldn't stop thinking about the first part of this fact. She never knew another man than him. She had been with no other man but him. He was her first. And she was his first.
He kissed her lips while pushing through her barrier, absorbing her cry of pain into his mouth. If there had been a way so he could have stopped the pain; he would have taken it on himself. He knew how to deal with pain, and she didn't deserve to feel pain for her first time. That was totally unfair. He stayed still inside her, letting her adjust his size. He didn't want to rush things with her; he didn't want to hurt her. He quickly forced himself to think of her, of what she needed, refusing to acknowledge the urges of his body. He would take all the time she needed.
"Are you okay?" he asked, in a whisper.
"Don't worry, continue. The pain is almost gone now"
She felt his slow, easy thrusting; her heart began to race a little. She had put her arms around his neck, holding him close while he kissed her. She was so wet, she was so tight around him, there was no way he could last more than a minute. She was beautifully tight. He was so honoured to be her first lover; he would be the man who would be imprinted in her head for the rest of her life, as her first love. The memory of this first night spent together, forever in their mind. All he needed now was to be her last too. How he wished he could be her last. He knew that when their bodies had been formed, they had been intended for each other, because no other human or alien beings on this galaxy would fit together as perfectly as the two of them did.
He looked down at her, and he saw a fire in her eyes that he hadn't seen before, something new and powerful. She was so beautiful. God, she was so beautiful. He was so fascinated by the way she seemed lost in the experience, she was always eager to learn. She was enjoying it, as much as him, and they were both mesmerized by it.
She ran her fingernails down his back, and he moaned when he felt her walls tighten around him, squeezing him tighter, and drawing him closer to spilling himself inside of her. The heels of her feet dug into his bum and used them to push him farther inside her as she perfectly met his thrusts.
They called out hoarsely as they experienced their first orgasm and lost themselves in their passionate lovemaking. He collapsed on top of her, making sure that he didn't crush her. She was so small in his arms; she looked so fragile.
She started to move, but he kissed her quickly to stop her moving from him.
"No," he whispered, not willing to lose the intimate contact so soon. "Wait. Not yet. Please."
After a few minutes, she felt him softening inside her, and realizing he was still inside her, he slowly moved off of her, causing them to moan at the loss. He looked down and saw that her swollen pussy was now dripping with white. That was the most beautiful sight in the galaxy. Rey, his Rey, was naked in front of him, filled with his semen after their first time together. After their first time, ever. He had lost his virginity to her, and it had been the most amazing moment of his life. It was the first time in a long time he had felt loved and wanted, and it felt good.
He gently kissed her nose, which made her lightly giggle. He lay beside her and pulled her into his arms.
"I'm not going to lie to you. I've dreamed of this moment so often …" he told her. "I'm so glad that it happened the right way."
"It sure did."
"My new dream is to do the exact same thing, but not through the Force bond …. You know … in real."
"It felt very real to me." she teased him.
"It was, don't worry." he declared, not seeing she was teasing him until he saw her little smirk on her face. "Oh, you know what I mean."
"Yes, I do." she answered. He was searching her eyes with his until she finally looked up at him.
"Come to me, Rey … Come to me, sweetheart." he said, before disappearing.