Goodbye
Contains spoilers for The Moneypenny Diaries: Final Fling. I don't own anything. The diary entry at the beginning of the story is taken from The Moneypenny Diaries: Final Fling.
***
I wish I could tell M that he was right. I wish I could expose Warren for the miserable little traitor he is. But I can't. All I can do is to ensure he does not live out his last days in comfortable retirement. I can do that and I will – for M, for 009, for Nikolai, for R and for the many others who died or suffered as a result of his treachery.
I have said goodbye to J. I am ready for this.
***
After Warren came to visit me I knew what I had to do. I didn't want to, but I had to. It's been a long time in coming – it seems as though I've been preparing for this ever since the last time I saw M. I know what I must do, but that doesn't make it easier. Especially as I now have James, after all this time...
Oh, I wish I could tell him what I'm about to do! How can I say goodbye to him without telling him what I am going to do?
So tonight will be my last night alive, and my last night with James. That's my only regret, that we only had so few years together. If only we had realised in time that we were in love, we could have left the Office, gotten married, had children... but it was never meant to be.
And Kate – my darling niece – the child I never had. In ten years she'll receive my diaries. I only hope that she won't be too angry with me for lying to her for all these years. I didn't want to lie to her, but I couldn't tell her the truth, no matter how much I wanted to.
J will be here shortly. We'll have dinner and then go to bed for the last time.
I never thought I'd know when I was about to die, never thought I'd ever contemplate killing myself, let alone killing someone with me – but I must. Warren can't get away with it. He's gotten away with it for too long.
***
James is gone now. I told him that I was going out for a sail, and would see him soon. It broke my heart to lie to him, but I couldn't have him figure out what I was about to do.
I left him a letter explaining my decision to kill myself and Percy Warren, as well as my final diary. Warren will be here shortly, and in a few hours, it will all be over.
At least I'll leave this world knowing that my death was not in vain.
***
My dearest, most darling James,
I'm so sorry that I did not say goodbye to you or tell you what I was about to do. I didn't want you to have to do something that was meant for me.
Percy Warren was the mole. It took M nearly thirty years, but finally he had enough evidence. Warren was the one who was responsible for so many deaths, including 009's. But I know that the public will never believe it. This is the only way to ensure that he won't betray anyone ever again.
I've loved you for so many years now, and these past few years with you have been the happiest of my life. I love you, James – I love you forever.
Jane