Alright! So if you've been reading my other stories, you should be aware that I'm pretty mean to Vince, it's not that I don't like him, he actually my favorite character. I just think that the stories with him being all depressed and what not are better. Anyway, Howard is going to be a complete jerk in this, just so you know. It might have a happy ending, it might not, I'm not sure yet.

XXX

It was a beautiful afternoon in Dalston and Howard Moon was enjoying a particularly nice cup of tea, while he sat behind the counter of the Nabootique, waiting for the mass of people that would no doubt be pouring through the door any minute to snatch up the new Jazz LPs he had just finished organizing.

But when 5 minutes passed and still no one had entered the shop Howard began to lose hope. He was thinking about going to wake Vince, so he could at least have some company while he waited when someone he never wanted to see again walked into the shop.

"Alright, Howard?"

"What are you doing here Dior?" Howard sighed.

"Just wanted to pop in and say hi." Lance smiled, walking up to the counter.

"Well you said it, now if you wouldn't mind, I have work to do." Howard said, getting up and walking over to the newly set up collection of records, hoping it would repel Lance as well as it did Vince. In doing so he turned his back on Lance and didn't see him pour the contents of a tiny vial into his cup of tea.

"No need to get so angry Howard, it's been so long since we hung out." Lance whined.

"You mean since me and Vince completely embarrassed you in front of a huge crowd of people." Howard said rather smugly.

"…like I said, awhile. Anyway, I have a million things to do and simply not enough time to do them. Tell Little Vincey I said hi and maybe I'll pop in, in a few weeks, see how you're doing." Lance said before skipping out the door, the tinkering of the bell, the only sign he had even been there.

"Good thing he left before Vince saw him." Howard sighed; he did not need to deal with another Vince vs. Lance showdown again anytime soon.

"Saw who?" Vince asked, hopping down the last few steps, and plopping himself down in the red barber's chair.

"Um… Ian?" Howard said, casually slipping back behind the counter and drinking the rest of his tea, it was quite good.

"Oh, yeah you're right about that, might not 'ave gone down so well if I'd 'ave seen 'im, 'e owes me a lot of money that Ian. Never trust Ian Howard, 'e's bad news." Vince said matter o' factly.

"Of course he is." Howard mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"So what's on the agenda for the day Howard?" Vince asked sweetly, obviously ignoring Howard's remark.

"Work Vince, work is on the agenda for the day."

"Aw but Howard, work is well boring."

"Not everything in life is fun Vince, so deal with it." Howard said, and Vince looked like he was about to complain, but decided against it; choosing instead to get comfortable in his chair, where he would most likely spend the rest of what was most likely going to be a boring day.

Xxx

It didn't look as if there would be any customers, which Howard simply couldn't fathom, there was such a great selection of jazz records, and how anyone could pass that up was baffling. They sat quietly for the next few hours, Vince didn't even make a peep, he just sat there, in the barber's chair, and read the new issue of Cheekbone that had just been delivered by the Cheekbone ninja. Howard was also reading from his place behind the counter, of course his selected reading material was at a much higher level than Vince's.

Altogether, it was a completely average day and it wasn't until Vince got up and took a paper clip from Stationary Village, that anything even vaguely interesting happened.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Howard yelled.

"I'm jus' taking a paper clip Howard, calm down." Vince said timidly, a bit startled by Howard's outburst.

"Put it back now."

"But I-"

"NOW!" Howard screamed, and Vince quickly put the paperclip back, knocking over safety pin cottage in the process.

"You little shit! Look what you did!"

"H-Howard, I'm s-sorry." Vince stuttered, backing up as Howard advanced on him.

"Sorry wont cut it this time Vince."

"Look Howard, it was just an accident yeah? Stop acting like a crazy person." Vince said, trying not to look as scared as he actually was, but as soon as the words left his mouth, a fist connected with his face.

The force of it, knocked Vince to the ground, and he just sat there in a daze clutching his cheek, till he could figure out what happened. Howard had hit him, like actually hit him, that doesn't happen, ever, it's just not on. Vince felt the tears well up in his eyes, this was completely ridiculous, Howard was acting like a crazy person, and it was all because of stupid Stationary Village.

"What the hell Howard!" Vince yelled, staring up at Howard with angry, tear filled eyes.

"Listen here, and listen good Vince-" Howard said calmly, grabbing Vince's hair and pulling his head back, glaring at Vince with a look of pure hatred, causing Vince's anger to warp into fear. "-Don't ever touch Stationary Village again, or I won't be so nice next time." Howard released the painful hold he had on Vince's hair and retuned to his spot behind the counter, leaving a terrified Vince on the floor.

XXX

And there you have it, first chapter, and like I said, Howard is a jerk, and will continue to be one, in fact, it's going to get a lot worse. If you care to see what happens, reviews are a good way to tell me. Oh and I realize most of my stories involve some sort of potion or something, but crap like this ^ just wouldn't happen without it. :)