One Year, Six Months
Summary: "One year, six months, three weeks, five days." It's been barely that long, but they still missed each other. The memories made it hurt even more. Mac/Stella
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: NY or any of its characters. They belong to CBS. If I did own it, then Stella would still be on the show and this fic would have never existed in the first place. I also don't own the song "One Year, Six Months" by Yellowcard.
A/N: I don't really like reading or writing stuff that reminds me of Stella leaving (-sad face-), but I had to write this. You should listen to the song. It's so sad goddamn it. Kinda tearing up. This is a song I want in the background whenever Mac thinks of Stella (minus the second verse. They will never forget each other.) Also, yes I know that Jo/Kelly is mentioned in this fic but I'm using her for a good reason.
One more thing, I don't use all the lyrics in the song. Everything is jumbled up and mixed together. Just letting you guys know :)
"I'm falling into memories of you
And things we used to do..."
How long has it been? It took Mac Taylor less than a minute to calculate the interval of when he and his old partner, Stella Bonasera were apart. It's been one year, six months, three weeks, and five days. They (and other team members) always joked on the phone about how precise they were. Whenever they were on the phone, they always joked around with "Remember when's..." What both of them didn't know was how much they missed each other.
Sure, they would express an "I miss you so much," to each other, but the tone of their voice and the words wasn't enough for them to express how they wanted to feel the other's presence. Phone calls, emails, and going on Skype weren't enough. As much as they laughed at each other after some conversation, there will always be that sad tug in their heart. They were miles apart from each other and that was the sad reality of things. Both couldn't last a day without thinking about the other. If it were a complicated case, the thought, "What would Mac/Stella would do?" would emerge in their minds. If they wanted to clear their minds of everything and everyone, they couldn't even sit at their own desks because a frame of their own partner would be there, right at the edge of the desk in full view. In a way, they were still partners and best friends. On significant days, Mac and Stella might share a few tears over the phone, such as the death of Mac's wife and Stella's best friend Claire Conrad, who died in 9/11, the first time they met, or the time Stella left.
Everyone always saw this connection. The team in New York would always smile whenever Mac would be enjoying a conversation with Stella. When she was in New York, everyone always thought there was a chance between Mac and Stella. Bets would be placed and the stakes were high. Even with Stella gone, bets were still going on. Stella's team in New Orleans also had their suspicion if she was seeing someone. Michal, Stella's second-in-command, knew about her and Mac's friendship because Stella would talk to her about Mac if Michal asked ("Wow, you guys worked for almost twenty years? That's longer than how long some married couples have been together.")
But it's been barely one year six months. Today was the date of when Stella walked into the airport gates to head to New Orleans. Mac, sitting in his desk on a normal and excruciating Monday night, stared at a photo of him and Stella as he thought back to the heartbreaking moment.
"So," Stella said, facing Mac. They entered the JFK Airport following the rest of his team. The bittersweet feeling was in the air. Not much talking was made on the way to the building. They didn't want Stella to leave, but it was her choice. "This is it."
Stella, setting her luggage down, hugged each and every one of her team members: Hawkes, Don, Adam, then lastly to the married couple: Danny and Lindsay, with their daughter Lucy. Stella felt a lump in her throat when she hugged the young girl. She always had a soft spot for children, especially ones she watched grow. She remembered when she was just a baby, holding her in the hospital after Lindsay had given birth to her. Now she was walking and even speaking.
"Hey, Lucy-boo," Stella said, wrapping her arms around Lucy. "I'm going to be leaving now, okay?"
"Stewwa," she replied, her small arms wrapping around Stella's neck. "I'mma miss you."
Stella couldn't help but let the tears she was trying to hold back fall down to her cheeks. She glanced at Lindsay, who was also tearing up. God, she was going to miss everybody. They were like a family to her, since she didn't have any family growing up.
Stella smiled at Lucy. Her lip was shaking and another tear fell from her eye.
"I'm going to miss you very much, too" Stella said.
Lucy took her hand and wiped Stella's tears.
"Don't cwy," she said before Lindsay wrapped her arm around Lucy's shoulder. Stella then stood up and faced the man she had been working with for so long. He had the melancholy look in his eyes and they glistened in the light. She walked up to him and they stared at each other for a long time. It was the hardest for both of them. They have been working together for almost twenty years and along the way, they went through a lot together, not just as work partners, but as best friends.
"Mac," Stella then said. Her throat hurt because she was trying to hold back her tears. "I-"
She didn't say anything else when Mac embraced her in one of the longest hugs she's ever had with him. Both of their tears streamed out of their faces. They were going to miss each other so much, anyone passing by could see. Their team members sadly watched their bosses share a heartbreaking moment. It was slightly surprising to see Mac shed a few tears. He rarely cries since he has a tough shell to crack and he's been through a lot in his life. But this was Mac and Stella, the pair with the closest relationships in the crime lab. Stella seemed like the only person to crack open that shell of his and he was glad that happened.
Once the hug broke, Mac framed Stella's face in his hands and leaned his forehead against hers.
"Lead your team well," he whispered. "I know you will."
"Of course."
"I'm going to miss you so much."
"I know. Me, too."
Each time they made a statement, their faces leaned closer together to the point where their lips were literally a few centimeters apart.
"Keep everyone safe," Stella added, closing her eyes. Mac could feel her warm breath against his lips. They didn't know what happened next, but somehow, their lips slowly molded against each other. She quickly drew in breath in surprise, but didn't mind at all. She even tilted her head so her lips locked in the right place. Sure, Stella and Mac rarely kissed on the lips before, but this was an exception. The line between "friends" and "more than friends" blurred, but they didn't give a damn. They also didn't give a damn with kissing in the public and in front of their coworkers.
When the kiss broke, Stella took her things, gave a final goodbye to everyone, and headed towards the escalator. As she was rising up to the next floor, she kept her eyes fixated to Mac's, and his eyes stayed on hers. Stella disappeared in the crowd of travelers and everyone left with a crushed feeling in their hearts, especially Mac's.
Nobody went and talked to him for the rest of the day.
"Mac?"
Mac snapped back into reality and found out that a woman with short brown hair and dark eyes was standing in front of his desk. It was Josephine or "Jo" Danville, the replacement for Stella. She and Mac got along well, but her first time at the lab wasn't what she had expected. She actually found a body in the floor below the lab, immediately pushing her into work.
"You alright?" Jo asked, her eyes filled with concern. She handed Mac a few papers for him to sign.
"A little bit," he confessed putting the framed photo down and taking a pen and automatically signing his name on the line. Jo tilted her head and stared at the upside-down picture.
"Is that Stella?" she asked.
"Hmm?" Mac looked at her, and then at the frame. He managed to smile a little bit. "Yeah."
"She's beautiful."
"I know."
Silence followed. They were still getting used to each other's personalities, so things weren't as comfortable as it was with Stella.
"You should go to her," Jo then said. "I can tell you two miss each other very much."
"To New Orleans?" he asked with raised eyebrows.
"Sure. I can keep the team under control for a few weeks. I've got Danny to help me, since he has more seniority."
"Are you doing this so won't have to see my face or deal with me?"
Jo rolled her eyes.
"Of course not. I'm part of your team, so it's my job to be concerned about my coworker's feelings." Her voice then lowered. "And, um, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but when I arrived at my new office, I saw Stella's phone number written on a piece of paper and we've been talking ever since. I can tell by her voice she misses you very much."
Mac cocked his eyebrow and stared at his coworker.
"That's why you knew how to deal with me when I got rough?" he asked.
Jo shrugged innocently.
"She's a really nice woman," she said. "I can tell why you like her so much. So go. You need a break once in a while. Sometimes it feels like you live here."
"It's a normal sight. You'll get used to it. But I will take that into thought. Thank you. You heading home?"
"Yeah, calling it a night. Kind of tiresome day."
"Go on ahead. I'll see you soon."
"Bye."
Mac watched as Jo walked through the lab. He noticed that she was looking at Danny and Lindsay, who was processing evidence from the lab. Mac watched as Danny and Lindsay raised their eyebrows in question. He couldn't see what Jo reacted but she gave a thumbs up to them, causing the married couple to smile widely. Mac then came to a conclusion that Jo persuading him to go to New Orleans was all planned.
Damn those guys, he thought with rolled eyes. But his mind wandered somewhere else he went to Google and typed in a few words in the search box.
Flights from New York City to New Orleans
xXxXxXx
Flashback – Two Years Ago
So many nights
Legs tangled tight
Wrap me up in a dream with you
There was a series of memories no one knew about. No one needed to know about it. The only people who knew about it were Mac and Stella themselves. They wanted it to be kept a secret because what they did broke a rule in protocol. Sure, the rule was broken many times (look at Danny and Lindsay and Flack and Angell), but it was still protocol. Plus, they were the two supervisors. Personal feelings were a distraction to everyday work habits. Sure if they told their other colleagues, they would be rejoicing, but they knew that the piece of information will spread around like fire through the lab and it was going to kick Mac and Stella in the asses.
The secret moment was during a really long, hard and complicated case that crushed the hearts of the investigators working the case. It also wore everyone out. Mostly, when everyone caught the killer, there would be an automatic toast at a bar called Sullivan's. This time, everyone had just headed home, immediately postponing the toast. Everyone wanted rest after long, hard all-nighters.
Mac and Stella headed towards one of their apartments, the one closest to work. Stella's apartment was blocks and blocks away and Mac's was just down the street (and turn right.) He understood how tired everyone was.
"Whatever this case taught us," Mac said, putting her things down. Mac's apartment was like a second home for her, vise versa for Mac in Stella's apartment. "It was to live life."
"Isn't it always like that?" Stella replied, taking off her coat and hanging it over the couch. "I mean, I said the same exact thing when-"
She turned around and gasped. Suddenly, Mac appeared front of her, standing as close to her as possible. He laid his palm on her cheek and his lips lightly brushed over her forehead. She closed her eyes as led his lips down to her nose and then to her lips into a kiss that started out soft, but grew with passion as their tongues dancing in each other's mouths. When the kiss broke, Mac took Stella's hand and led her to his bedroom, where the two exhausted souls snuggled under the covers. They didn't know what drove them to do this (it was probably the case) but all they wanted to do was live in the moment.
These actions continued for about five days. Each day involved something in the lines of: sitting together on the couch after work watching some weird chick flick, maybe stealing a few kisses, and always sleeping together in bed, their legs always somewhat tangled. At work, it's like nothing ever happened the night before.
This small interval of kissing and sleeping with tangled legs stopped when Stella confronted Mac at the morning after the fifth day.
"What are we doing?" Stella asked, her hands on her hips. "I don't want to sound offensive, but this kinda needs to stop."
Mac nodded.
"I know," he replied. "I don't know what caused me to do that... I guess that case..."
She put an arm on her shoulder.
"It was the case. I understand. And we need to keep this quiet so Sinclair won't come and run our asses up." She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "I enjoyed every minute of it, though."
Mac gave one of his real and genuine smiles, one he never shared often.
"Of course."
Stella leaned forward and gave him a last kiss on the lips. It was risky, since they were kissing at work in his office. It was morning, though, and the kiss was quick. Nobody saw.
Mac and Stella continued on with their lives for the rest of the day. The moments of sleeping together were gone and they were back to being best friends, like they always were.
End of Flashback
xXxXxXx
"Excuse me," Mac said, stepping into the New Orleans Crime Lab. He had taken Jo's advice to pack a few of his things and visit New Orleans for a while, just to visit his old partner. He could trust her and Danny in running the lab just for a few weeks. He already knew that they were expecting their boss to head to the city where his old partner was. It took a while for Mac to get used to the heat and humidity. When he stepped out of the greatly air-conditioned airport, beads of sweat immediately started to form on his forehead. "Do you know where Stella Bonasera's lab is?"
"May I ask who you are?" the dark-skinned security guard asked Mac.
"What's going on, Roger?" they heard a woman asked. A blonde-haired woman with hazel eyes and tanned skin walked up to the security desk. She had a slight European accent in her voice. "I heard 'Stella Bonasera' and that caught my attention."
"This man is looking for her," the guard replied, pointing the pen at Mac.
"I'm Stella's old partner," Mac said. He quickly flashed his NYPD badge from his pocket. "From the New York Crime Lab. Mac Taylor."
The blonde-haired woman's eyebrows rose in recognition.
"Mac Taylor," she repeated, shaking his hand. "Stella talks about you a lot to me."
"I bet she does."
"I'm Detective Michal Tomas, her second-in-command. Here, you can set your luggage behind the desk. Is that fine with you, Roger?"
"I'm cool with it," Roger replied, taking the bag and setting it behind the desk. Mac followed Michal into the elevators. They carried on a small conversation about Stella and her job back in New York City and how she was doing as a boss here in New Orleans. It sounds as if Stella was doing a great job running a lab, though a lot of men loved to hit on her.
Mac took a deep breath when the elevator opened to the thirty-first floor. This was it. This was the moment. He watched as lab technicians walked around like ants and processing evidence through clear glass walls. He saw this everyday, yet it felt completely different to him.
"The house is not really busy today because it's in the middle of the week and it's evening time," Michal explained, leading Mac through the hallways. "and there's no complicated or major cases going on right now."
Mac nodded in understanding, but everything seemed to freeze when he and Michal walked up to the office. There she was, sitting at her desk, looking down and doing paperwork. She still looked the same, though her hair was becoming to be more wavy than curly. Of course, she was wearing a tank top that exposed her olive tanned skin. From the looks of her face, she looked tired. She had the same, beautiful emerald eyes. She put down her pen and cupped the back of her neck.
Stella slowly looked up. She was ready to crash onto the couch in her office and spend the night. She was in no condition to drive home that day. She was planning to observe everyone in the lab (and maybe grab coffee from the break room,) but first thing she saw were the two figures coming towards her office. Her heart literally stopped when she saw who Michal was escorting. He looked the same, brown hair, blue eyes, strong physique. No, it couldn't be him. Stella frowned and sat up straighter, trying to get a better view.
It was him!
Stella, covering her gaping mouth with her hands, stood up. Tears formed in her eyes as she stormed out of the office (a little to the surprise of the workers passing by) and ran towards her old boss and best friend, embracing him in a tight hug. She practically jumped on him, but they didn't care. He was here, she kept repeating over and over in her mind. He was here.
"Mac," she whispered, the tears falling from her eyes and soaking onto his T-shirt. "it's really you."
"Stella," he replied in the same voice level as her's.
"You're here."
"I know."
"I can't believe it."
"Me neither."
Stella cupped Mac's face with her hands and leaned their foreheads leaned together. She imagined everyone around her to be watching what was going on and thinking, 'Who the hell is our boss doing with this guy?' She could even imagine a few envious looks on a few of the guys who were trying to get a chance at a relationship with her. She didn't care.
"One year, six months," she said.
"...three weeks, one day," he continued.
"God, I missed you so much. I can't even explain it in words."
"Me, too."
"Kiss me."
"Stella..."
"I don't care. What I've learned through almost twenty years together and all those phone calls and emailing: I... I love you. I just... just shut up, Mac."
Stella crashed her lips into his and at that moment, reality truly did seem to stop in its tracks. Time stopped and took a few steps backwards.
It was like old times. It's been a while since someone muttered the three words that sounded harmonious. It was the three words that made sense when put together:
Mac and Stella.
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you.
A/N: Uuuhhh... *swoon*