Disclaimer:
I don't own The Big Bang Theory. All rights reserved to CBS, Warner Brothers, Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and Steven Molaro.
A/N:
I had this idea for a story for a while now, and I finally found out a way to write it. this story is an idea and it's all in my head, it did not happen to me, but unfortunately it happens to a lot of women and men.
This story is AU and will probably be OOC at times. It takes place in the 8th season, after 8x08. This story will have a lot of angst.
Some of the ideas in this story were inspired by ninekaronas's fanfic "When Wishes Come True" and by bigbangenthusiast's fanfic "The Pharmacy Purchase Predicament".
I would love to read your reviews and what you thought about it.
It's rated M for a reason.
This story is about rape, so if it's a trigger to anyone, read carefully.
I'm basing this story about things I've read in the news and on social media from victims and about victims, and read how one might react. I know it's a difficult topic and I'm not an expert on it, and I'm not trying to offend anyone here.
I would really love to read your reviews here, so I'll know where I can improve or if something was inappropriate.
Chapter 1:
Amy came back to her apartment from her class reunion. she went there with a thought that maybe now, after all these years, her classmates will see her in a different way; the intelligent, strong woman she is, and not that dorky girl that everyone made fun of.
She had faith that they might have changed over the years, but that blew up right in her face. She expected that people might still ridicule her, but she never, in her entire life, thought that this would happen to her.
She went to take a shower before she was going to Los Robles. She called the girls and said that she went early from her reunion, so she'll join them for the rest of the evening.
She started to remember the event of the past hour, while in the shower.
She remembered that after two conversations, in which people didn't believe her she has a boyfriend she gave up and went outside towards her car, when the captain of the baseball team, Timmy, approached her and started to talking to her about her life and asked her if she really have a boyfriend. She thought it was very nice of him to ask, until he started to laugh like everyone else did.
She remembered how he came closer to her and grabbed her by her wrist.
"like someone would want to be your boyfriend." He said to her. she started to fight him, but he was stronger. He led her to a secluded area and threw her to the ground.
She remembered how she started to scream, but he put his hand on her mouth with so much force, that she thought that he might actually strangle her. she remembered everything; how he ripped her underwear, and how he brutally entered her. she started to cry. All this time she thought about Sheldon, and how she saved herself for him, and now… no one can give her back her virginity, and this is how she'll remember her first time.
She remembered that he finished inside of her, how when he got up, he told her, "here… now you won't die a virgin, and you can say you've been fucked by the captain of the baseball team." Then he left, and she didn't know what to do with herself. She got up, cleaned up and went to her car. She didn't know how she drove home without crashing the car, but she made it.
She didn't know what to feel, think or say. She didn't know how to tell Sheldon or the girls. all she wanted is to wake up from this nightmare, but she didn't. it was real. all these years she never thought it would happen to her, because no one ever looked at her twice. She knew that that thought was stupid and it doesn't have anything to do with how looks, but she still thought she was safe from it. tonight, she was proved wrong. Tonight, she was proved that looks doesn't matter in this case. What did matter was men who knows no boundaries and thinks they are entitled to everything.
After she showered, for what seemed like forever, she got dressed in her most reserved clothes she could find (even more than what she already wore), and took the bus to Los Robles.
She went up the stairs and before she entered 4A she took a few deep breathes in order to compose herself. She didn't want her friends to see that something was going on with her.
After a few minutes entered the apartment, where her friends were sitting around the coffee table, having dinner.
"Hey" she said, and forced a smile.
"Hey." They said back.
"We thought we wouldn't see you tonight." Raj said.
"Yeah. I thought so too, but it was boring, so I left early." She lied and went to sit in her spot, next to Sheldon, which Bernadette vacated for her, but she sat a few inches far away from him than where she normally would sit.
"You came just in time. we were about to pick a movie to watch. Me and the guys want to watch Lord of the Rings, Penny and Bernadette wants to watch The Devil Wears Prada and Emily wants to watch Hounddog." Sheldon said in excitement, hoping that Amy will pick his movie this time.
"Um… I don't know. I think I'll go with Bernadette and Penny this time." Amy said. The thought of Emily's choice of movie made her shiver. She knew exactly what it is about and she remembered seeing that scene briefly, and she didn't need to watch now. She had a clear image of in her head for the rest of her life.
"Oh, come on… you never pick my side. Come on. It's such a powerful movie, and Dakota Fanning is amazing and – " But Amy cut her off.
"No. I want to watch The Devil Wears Prada." She said firmly, and then realized the anger in her tone.
"Sorry… I'm just tired, but I would rather watch something light and funny now." She said more calmly.
The girls exchanged looks but shrugged their shoulders. The guys sighed heavily at the choice of the movie, but put it anyway and as always Raj was the only one from the guys who enjoyed both The Devil Wears Prada and Lord of the Rings.
During the movie Amy fell asleep and flashes from the evening came surfing. She moved in her spot and mumbled something that sounded like "stop", and Sheldon took notice of that.
Sheldon touched Amy lightly to wake her up, just as the flash of Timmy forcing himself into her came, and she woke up with a start.
"NO!" she yelled, and opened her eyes, and shook off Sheldon's hand from her. All her friends looked at her and she lowered her eyes to her lap, not wanting them to see the tears in her eyes.
"Bad dream" she said and went to the bathroom to compose herself.
In the bathroom, she took deep breathes that soon turned out to a silent cry. She didn't know what to do, say, act. A small touch from Sheldon and she jumped like someone just touched her with hot metal. She looked at her watch, and it was 10:20 pm.
She didn't want to go home alone and on the bus or in a taxi, so she thought she might ask Penny to sleep on her couch. She took out one of her emergencies kits she hid in the bathroom, just in case, and put it behind her back, hoping that Sheldon won't see it, and came back to the living room.
"Hey Penny. I'm getting tired and I don't want to drive. Do you mind if I'll crash on your couch for the night?" she asked her and lying at the same time, since she didn't want them to suspect something was wrong that she came in a bus.
"Sure. are you okay?" Penny asked her.
"Yeah. Just tired. Thank you." she said, grabbed her things, and went with Penny across the hall.
"Do you have everything you need?" Penny asked her.
"Yes. I had an emergency kit in the guys apartment." she said.
There was an awkward silence that Amy, eventually broke.
"Do you mind if I take a shower. I feel dirty from today." She said flatly.
"Yeah sure, but didn't you take a shower before you came? Your hair was damp." Penny asked her, confused.
"Yeah… I just don't like going to sleep without taking a shower before getting into bed." Amy said. It was partially true. She did take showers before bedtime, but that dream, well memory, made her feel even more dirty, and she just felt the need to shower again.
When she came back to the living room Penny was there, sitting on the couch.
"You can take the bed. I'm going to sleep with Leonard tonight." Penny said to her.
"Are you sure?" she asked her, a bit frighten. She didn't know if she wanted to be alone tonight, but she didn't want Penny to think she's a baby.
"Yes. Is that okay with you?" Penny asked her.
"Yeah… Yeah… you'll be across the hall." She said, more to herself than to Penny.
"Yes, I will." She said and got up from her spot and went to pat Amy on her arm and say goodbye.
Amy flinched at the gesture, and forced a smile.
She went to Penny's bedroom and entered the bed. She hoped that those flashed won't come back again, and that she could sleep fine.
Back in 4A Penny helped Leonard and Sheldon clean up.
"Did Amy looked weird to you when she came from her reunion?" Penny asked mostly Leonard, but hoped that maybe Sheldon picked up on something.
"I don't know. not more than usual." Leonard said.
"Are you saying my girlfriend's weird?" Sheldon asked with an angry tone.
"No… it's just… it seemed like something was off with her… like she wasn't really here or paying attention to what was going on, or just on edge." Penny said quickly.
Sheldon considered Penny's words as he thought about Amy's behavior tonight.
"She did seem quite on edge when Emily tried to convince her to watch that movie and when she woke up from her sleep yelling and moving my hand away. The fact that she even fell asleep was weird. It never happened before, and she mumbled something in her sleep. And she never rejected my touch before. She's always seeking for it." He said as he pondered the events of the evening.
"She flinched at my touch too!" Penny said.
"You touched my girlfriend?" Sheldon asked her, confused.
"More patted her arm as I said goodbye to her before I came here." Penny said.
They all exchanged looks and eventually let it go. For now, but they all made a mental note to watch her and see if there are more changes in her behavior.
Amy fell asleep the moment she put her head on the pillow. She was tired, distraught, disgusted and most of all, ashamed. Ashamed that she actually thought that Timmy was nice, that she didn't fight strong enough, she let someone take her virginity that belonged to Sheldon, even if it would have taken years for them to reach that point, but mostly, ashamed that she went to that stupid reunion in the first place.
She had a dreamless night for the first part of the night, but then the images came floating bac, and with them the feelings, the pain, the cry, the need to throw up and the need to get out of her own skin. When the image of Timmy hovering over her and forcing himself into her appeared again, she screamed so loud, that she woke up and set down in the bed.
She went to the bathroom and threw up, and took another shower, this time she used the sponge so hard, that it started to scratch her skin. When she looked at her underwear that were on the bathroom floor, she saw that there were signs of blood on them. she didn't notice it before.
That was the moment that realization hit her. she was raped and someone forcefully took her virginity, and no one can give it back to her again.
She set on the bathroom floor, wrapped in a towel, and started to cry hard in hysteria.
Back in 4A, Sheldon was up in the living room. Sleep eluded him as he thought of Amy's behavior that evening. He started to think that maybe something happened in that reunion. he was deep in thoughts, when Penny came to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
"Hey… can't sleep?" She asked him. once she saw him in his spot.
He was shaken from his thoughts, and looked at Penny.
"No… what you said about Amy made me thinking if there is something wrong with her. If – " they were cut off by the sound of crying that came from outside the apartment.
They wondered who could that be. They didn't have babies in the building.
They went out of the apartment, and realized that the crying came from Penny's apartment. they went inside quickly and went to the bedroom. They heard the crying from the bathroom.
Penny knocked on the bathroom door.
"Amy… Amy, is everything okay?" she asked her, with panic in her voice. Amy didn't answer and kept crying. It seems like she didn't even hear Penny's knocking.
Penny and Sheldon exchanged terrified looks. Something was defiantly wrong with Amy, but they didn't know what.
"Amy… I'm coming inside." Penny said after a few moments and she opened the door.
Penny didn't expect the vision that was in front of her when she opened the door.
Amy was lying on the bathroom floor crying, with a towel that was spread over her back and covered her breasts and hips, her left hand above her head on the floor, clutching something. Sheldon looked at his girlfriend for a moment before Penny entered and closed the door.
She bent down to the floor, and tried to touch Amy, but she flinched.
"No!" she yelled, and kept crying.
"Sweetie… you're worrying us… please tell me what happened so we can help you." Penny begged her.
Amy just kept crying, but let loose of what she held in her hand.
Penny took it as a sign, and looked at it. she saw the blood and started to panic.
"Is everything okay?" She asked, and Amy shook her head in the negative.
"What happened…? Were you pregnant?" Penny asked her carefully. She knew it was a long shot, but who knows what's going on with those two.
"Ha!" Amy made a bitter sound, and Penny took it as a "no".
"umm… did you do it by accident?" She tried again, and Amy shook her head no vigorously.
Penny started to panic more. She didn't know what else could cause it.
All this time that Penny tried to understand what is wrong with Amy, Sheldon stood outside the bathroom and tried to figure out what happened to his girlfriend. Something bad happened to her, he could see that. but what, he still didn't know.
"Amy… please… tell me what's wrong… you're freaking me out." Penny whispered.
Amy took a deep breath, but kept sobbing. She couldn't utter the words. If she'll do so, it would be real.
She was still lying on the floor, when she decided to tell Penny what happened.
"Remember the movie that Emily wanted to see this evening?" Amy whispered.
"Yes. Hounddog." Penny said, still trying to understand the connection.
"Have you seen it?" Amy asked her.
"Yes. But I don't remember it so well." Penny said, trying to remember the movie, and see how it is connected to Amy.
"Do you remember the scene where Dakota is in a barn with two other boys?" Amy whispered.
"Um… I think so… that one guy is – " and the realization hit Penny, and she started to cry.
"Who did this?" She asked her softly, through tears.
"The captain of the baseball team." Amy whispered.
After a few moments, Penny composed herself and wiped her tears.
"Come on. I want you dress up and I'm taking you to the hospital. I want you to have some checkups to see that everything is okay." Penny said, but Amy didn't move from the floor.
"Amy… Please…" Penny begged her.
"No… I don't want someone to touch me." Amy said.
"Amy, we have to see that everything is okay. I will never leave your side, I promise." Penny said.
"What will I tell Sheldon? What will he think of me?" she whispered to Penny.
"Right now, he is outside the bathroom terrified. I'm sure that with his big brain he'll have some compassion." Penny said.
"You know what I meant, Penny." Amy said.
"I do, and to be honest, I have a feeling that he will be more understanding than we think." Penny said. She had a feeling that when Sheldon will find out about this, he will beat that man to death. She knew that he loved Amy, even more than he was willing to admit.
Penny came out from the bathroom to bring Amy some clothes so they will go to the hospital.
"Is everything okay?" Sheldon asked her with fear in his voice.
"I hope that it will be." Penny answered truthfully.
"What happened to her?" Sheldon asked.
"I can't tell you that, unless she'll give me her permission." She said and went to the bathroom.
A few moments later both Amy and Penny came out of the bathroom. Sheldon looked at Amy's attire, and was confused.
"Why are you dressed to go out?" he asked her. Amy and Penny exchanged looked and Amy nodded her agreement.
"I'm taking Amy to the hospital. I want a doctor to look at her. she's not feeling so well." Penny said to him.
"What is it? are you contagious? How long do you have it?" Sheldon panicked.
"No. I'm not contagious. It started tonight. I have some pains that I want a doctor to look at." She lied. She didn't know how he would react to what just happened to her.
Sheldon saw the look on Amy's face. He didn't know what it was, but it was something he never saw before, and that scared him.
"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked her gently, and walked closer to her, and she took a step back.
"Um… I don't know. you don't like hospitals, and I don't want to be a burden." She said. She really didn't know if she wanted Sheldon there. It would be embarrassing.
They stood there for a few moments, and then Penny broke the silence.
"So, I'm going to change. Amy, you want to come and wait for me in the guys apartment?" Penny asked her, and Amy nodded.
They all went across the hall and before Amy set in her spot, she grabbed Penny by her arm.
"Don't tell Leonard anything about this." She begged her friend, and Penny nodded.
She then went to sit in her spot. Sheldon went to the kitchen and took out two bottles of water for them.
"Thank you." Amy said, as he handed her the bottle.
"No problem." He said, and looked at her closely. He looked for any physical signs that might insinuate that something was wrong, but he couldn't find any.
After a few moments, Penny came back to the living room.
"I'm ready. Let's go." She said, and Amy got up from her spot, and that's when he saw it.
A blue mark on the back of Amy's calf.
"Amy, what happened to you?" He asked and got up from his spot and got closer to her.
"I told you. I have some pains that I want the doctor to check." She kept with the lie.
"Amy, please tell me what happened. I won't be mad. I saw the blue mark on your calf just now, you flinch whenever someone touches you and you just backed away from me in Penny's bedroom, not to mention the way we found you and the crying and how you woke up in the middle of the movie, and how you reacted to Emily's movie choice." He said and Amy just looked at the ground.
So much has change in less than 24 hours, that she didn't know how to process it all, let alone how to tell Sheldon about it.
She took a deep breath and took a step towards Sheldon.
"I'll tell you. I promise. But not now." She said and turned around and joined Penny to go to the hospital.
A/N:
As I said before in the beginning, I had this idea for a while now, and now I found a way to write it.
I would love to read you reviews.
I'm not taking for granted what Amy has been through, and I know it's a tough topic, but I also think there should be a lot more awareness to this topic than what we have today.
If any of you who reads this story, have been through it, I hope that I didn't offend you – that is not my intention at all, and I hope you will stay strong.