Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except Grant.
She Moved On
It's official. My chance with her is gone.
I watched as she whispered into another man's ear.
I watched as she giggled at another man's joke.
I watched as she danced in another man's arms.
I watched as she kissed another man's lips.
I watched until I couldn't stand it anymore.
It hurt to see that I wasn't the cause of her happiness anymore. He was. Every time he came into the room her eyes would light up and she would smile, like she used to do way back when, when I walked into a room, but things are different now. She has him and I'm forced to watch from the sidelines and realize what an idiot I was. All I had to do was give her an explanation and then we would've been okay, but instead I had chose to not tell her anything and just left. And then she met him.
I've heard the story a million times. It was the middle of her second tour and so far it hadn't been going well. Her performances weren't top notch and she'd cry in her dressing room until it was time to get back on the bus and hit the road toward a new destination. Even then she would cry until she fell asleep, and if she didn't cry then she would exclude herself from the others and just write in her journal until her hand ached.
Then one day the tour bus had stopped at a small town and she had ran into some random person on the street while on her way to get some coffee before heading to the next city. That was how she had met Grant Mattews. They hit it off right away and decided to keep in touch. As her tour ended and she arrived back in Toronto, Grant was waiting for her. About a week later he asked her out on a date and the rest was history.
That was four years ago and her and Grant are stronger than ever now, I've been waiting for their feeling to fade, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen anytime soon.
So now I'm standing here, watching them dance, and it's the night of her twenty-first birthday and she's happier than I've ever seen her. I just wish it was me who was holding her in my arms, but that's just not going to happen. Ever.
As the song changes I feel an unbearable pain tugging at my heart.
'You never lied to me not once
Its not your fault that I cant trust
Its in my past, its in my path and I can't go there
Making a mess out of this game
To see it all go up in flamesSo tired of being ruthless and reckless'
This was 'our' song, not theirs. She wrote it for me, not him, me.
'Time to be your only one
To almost be you're way too young
Time to crash into the sun
Time to be your 21
Time to dream that love will last
Time to drive my car too fast
Time to walk before I run
Time to be
Ohh time to be your 21'
I saw her look over at me and I knew she could see the sadness in my eyes. What hurts the most is that she chose to look away.
'I don't believe in love and I
I pull it to the wall
I tasted sweetness there to laugh so hard as it falls
And I could push you there if you don't stop me
Push you there if you don't stop me
Please stop me
Time to be your only one
To almost be you're way too young
Time to crash into the sun
Time to be your 21'
I tuned out the rest of the song, unable to listen to it any longer. I was about to leave when I heard a voice coming through the speakers.
"Now, before this night is over, I have something to say," I turned and I saw Grant now had a microphone and was standing in front of her.
"Ever since the day I met you I felt this instant connection with you, but I never thought you'd ever feel the same way. I was proven wrong when you asked for my number so we could keep in touch. I love every moment we spend together and I can't believe we've lasted this long. I thought for sure you'd find someone better, but you've stuck by me for four years now. And I love you more than you could ever know. Which bring me to my question, Jude Harrison, will you marry me?" By this point tears are in her eyes. I want her to reject him and coming running back to me, but I know that's not going to happen, especially when she nods her head and a "yes" escapes her lips. I head for the door when he leans in to kiss her, but her voice stops me.
"Tommy, wait! I still have one thing left I want to say to you," she says softly through the microphone and I turn around.
"I know these past few years must've been hard on you, but I want you to be happy, I want you to find someone like I found. I want you to know that I love you, no matter what, but I'm not in love with you, you need to understand that. You hurt me, so much, when you left, but I said to myself that if you called and just explained what was going on, I'd forgive you, but you never did. And for a long time it hurt, but then I met Grant and I realized that if you didn't care enough to call, then you weren't worth it. I don't want to hurt you, but that's the truth, and please try to understand. Please."
I slowly nod my head and walk through the crowds of people and turn around one last time and see Jude and Grant talking and laughing. Jude had moved on and it took me until now to finally realize and admit it, but she deserves better than me, but it still hurts, but I hope that each day it will get easier to deal with.
I walk out the doors of G-Major and into the pouring rain. She's moved on, and eventually I will to, but for now, I'll let the rain hide the tears that are threatening to fall.