Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I just let them out to play.
(A/N: This story begins right when Edward leaves Bella in the forest in the beginning of New Moon)
"When you have loved unconditionally one woman and lost that love, it leaves a wound that never heals, a sad and broken heart, a void forever."
I had to run as fast as I could before she could follow me. There was no need for her to follow me now. I would get away and it would be like I had never touched her life in the first place. As I started to run north I could feel my still heart pull from my chest.
"Go back stupid". I had been running for an hour or so before my rational thoughts were beginning to fade. Had I had any rational thoughts to begin with? I suddenly couldn't remember. This was aberrant for someone with a photographic memory, even for a vampire. I was trying to distinguish my thoughts from each other. One voice was telling me to "go back", to plead with her to forgive me. The other voice was telling me that this is the best thing for her.
I held on to the sound of her heart for as long as I could. When I was far enough away from her scent and her heartbeat I stopped running. I didn't know where I was I didn't care. I just had an overpowering urge to cry, that is if I could cry. What was I doing? The one person in my life, my Bella, my love, my heart, I had just thrown it all away.
'It is for the best, she will move on, she will be free' the voice in my head said.
'Best? Who says it's for the best? Who are you to decide for her?' the other voice in my head shouted.
It was an emotional pain I had never felt. When my parents died, I lived. When James had Bella in the ballet studio, I lived. Even the pain of the venom while changing could not compare to this pain. I would have rather been burned at the stake a thousand times over compared to this pain.
'So, what are you going to do about it? Do you plan on going back? No? Then suck it up and keep going?' the menacing voice in my head argued once more.
'The pain is bearable. At least you know that she will live. She will have a normal life. She will grow old, get married and have children. She will heal.' The reasonable voice in my head argued back.
Yes. She will heal. She will grow old and get married. She will have beautiful children and she will live, but will I? I am already dead in form, but this death, this emotional death hurts. My heart felt as if it had been shattered like a piece of glass. The pain ripped through my body from my head to my knees. I suddenly found myself lying on the forest floor, curled into a fetal position with dry sobs weeping through my eyes and voice.
Then the rain started. I don't know how long I had been laying there. The rain started as a soft drizzle and before I knew it I was lying in the middle of one of the biggest storms of the year. I couldn't find the strength to move. I just laid there sobbing, aching, hurting, bearing the pain of my actions, missing my other half.
As the sun started to show through the thick canopy above for the third time since I had been laying there I finally found my legs. I ran again, this time with a purpose. I needed to get back to my family. I needed to speak with Alice, Carlisle, and the rest of my family.