This is based on special pre-season 7 cast interviews… Chyler Leigh mentioned in her interview about how her character Lexie is not coping well in the aftermath of the shooting, and is going to have a complete nervous breakdown, causing her to be committed to Psych. And Ellen Pompeo, in her interview, mentioned about how Meredith is going to be the mother hen, being there for all her loved ones, e.g. Cristina and Lexie, which is her way of not dealing with her own issues.

I love both Meredith and Lexie, and both actresses potraying them. I've always wanted to see more of the sisterly bond between them, hence this fic…(which at the moment is a oneshot)

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and its cast and characters. Shonda does.

My little Sister

Two months after the shooting- from Meredith's POV

' Well, Dr. Grey, I see a healthy uterus, no signs of any abnormality' Dr. Lee says, gesturing at the ultrasound screen. 'From the looks of it, I think it's safe to say that you're now healthy enough to get pregnant again. Just continue taking your iron and folic acid and your vitamins…' After she has wiped the gel off my stomach, I pull my scrub shirt down and thank her.

I smile to myself as I walk down the hallway to the elevator. I have just been cleared to be fully recovered from my previous miscarriage, and I am now healthy enough to undergo another pregnancy and finally have a baby this time. I'm going to tell Derek the good news tonight. He has just been told by Teddy that he is now strong enough for sexual activity again, which means a night of celebration.

I am still lost in my own happy thoughts when I reach the surgical floor. I pass by the supply room when I think I hear a vague noise from inside. I ignore it, concluding it to be one of the nurses searching for something. But the noise gets louder, and I realize that it's someone sobbing.

I stop in my tracks, contemplating on checking out who it is and whether they need my help. But then again, maybe it's someone I don't know, and I'm not the type that likes to mind others' business.

The sobbing has now turned into full-fledged crying, almost to the extent of pitiful, actually.

I finally decide that I have to go in- that person, whoever it is might really need a shoulder to cry on at the moment.

I open the door slowly, not wanting to shock the person, and not wanting to invade their privacy.

My eyes take quite a while to adjust to the dark, gloomy surroundings of the room, compared to the bright fluorescent lights of the hospital corridors. The person didn't even bother to switch on the room light.

I notice a slim figure with long hair, definitely that of a woman, hunched up in the corner of the room. She was still sobbing openly, obviously choosing not to acknowledge my presence. I walk slowly towards her until I was close enough to see who it is. And stop still on my tracks. It is my younger sister, Lexie. (or more accurately, half sister, but does it even matter in this case?)

Her knees are curled up to her chin, and her face is buried in her hands, such that her newly dyed blonde hair falls freely over her head.

I pause in my tracks at first. Being a big sister is still something relatively new for me, what do I do in situations like this? What does a big sister do? The last time she broke down in front of me in the ladies's room, I was totally at a loss of what to do...

' Lexie' I call softly. No response. Instead, her crying intensifies.

I know I have to stop this before someone else overhears her crying from outside and walks in too.

'Shh….Lex…it's ok…it's ok….' I sit next to her on the floor, pull a packet of tissue from my labcoat and cautiously pass it to her. She finally lifts her face from her hands, accepts the tissue and blows her nose, her crying now reduced to sobs. Her face is red and puffy from all the crying.

' Lexie…is everything ok? You want to tell me what upset you so much?' I ask in the most gentle way possible.

She sniffles in response. She is now looking straight at me, which I take as a good sign.

' No, of course everything is not ok! I single-handedly caused so many people in this hospital to get killed! I am a murderer….I am a freakin' murderer…'

Her words make me feel uneasy.

' Lexie you didn't kill them! Mr. Cl….'

' Don't you dare say his name! Do you know…I cannot go to sleep at night, because everytime I fall asleep, I see him pointing the gun at me and ready to shoot me!'

She is now shaking uncontrollably.

I take a blanket out from one of the drawers and wrap it around her shivering body.

There is really no point in me telling her that I also wake up in the middle of the night after dreaming of him pointing the gun at me, ready to shoot me after my confession that I'm his eye for an eye.

We sit there in silence before Lexie breaks the silence…

' I shouldn't have switched off Alison Clark's life support. I kept on telling myself that it's not my fault, that she signed the DNR and that I was just doing what I was told to do…but I just can't help but thinking that had I not turned off the life support, nothing bad would have happened…..' she is now rambling, a trait which we Grey sisters share.

'Lexie, you were just doing your job. It's not your fault that he decided to go on a shooting spree….' I say slowly and clearly. I have repeated this sentence numerous times, but somehow it just didn't sink into her mind.

She stays silent this time, I wonder if she is contemplating what I've said.

We stay silent again for quite some time, just sitting there in the dark beside each other, entertaining our own dark and twisty thoughts. I think after the whole shooting incident, Lexie is now turning dark and twisty just like I once was, which is scary.

She breaks the silence again. 'Mer, I have a secret to tell you. I figured I can't keep this secret to myself any longer and I needed to tell someone. And since I heard sisters share secrets, I have to tell you this...' she sounds nervous.

'What is it?' I ask, intrigued…

' You promise you wouldn't tell anyone? Not even Derek, not Cristina, not Alex….'

' I promise….'

' And you promise you wouldn't get mad at me or anything after I tell you?' her voice is shaking.

She is starting to make me feel nervous…

' Lexie, I wouldn't get mad at you.' I sound calmer than I actually feel.

' Right…because…I'm pregnant' she mutters.

' You're what?' I almost screamed out loud in my disbelief.

'Shhh….I'm pregnant!' she whispers. " I just found out just now. (She takes out a positive pregnancy test from her pocket and shows it to me, her hands shaking). Please don't scream so loud people might hear from outside…you're starting to make me nervous now, damnit!'

I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out from me. I am literally speechless. This, I didn't expect. I have just lost my baby not too long ago, and now my little sister is pregnant. And here I am, assuming all this while that I would be a mom first, before becoming an aunt. (Yes, there is Laura, Molly's daughter, but she doesn't count).

' Mer? Are you mad at me?' Lexie asks nervously…scrutinizing my face for any signs of facial expression.

' No, of course not' I force a smile. It's more like feeling shocked, actually, I think to myself.

' Good, because I really need your advice on this….I'm so not ready for a baby…'

' Lex, no one is ever really for a baby' I reply calmly.

' Yes? But how am I supposed to raise a baby when I still feel guilty all the time about the shooting? How am I supposed to raise a baby when I…I don't even know who the father is…'

' You…what?'

' Shh…not so loud… I started sleeping again with Mark slightly more than a month ago….it might be his. Of course, I had been sleeping with Alex before the shooting…so it might be his as well….' she rambles to herself., deep in thought.

I look at her in pity. 'Oh Lexie'

' Don't oh Lexie me. I know I am a pitiful case, I am such a slut of a person that I don't even know who the father of my baby is!'

She is starting to cry again. Oh no. I'm at loss of words right now..

Suddenly, she reaches for a drawer behind her, and draws out a scalpel, holding it triumphantly in front of her.

I gasp in shock. 'Lexie…Lex…what are you doing?'

She suddenly lets out an eerie laugh. 'I just figured that maybe if I end my life, then all this mess will be solved'.

Oh my God, this is not good, this is not good at all.

'Lexie' I try to stay calm, although I'm quivering inside.

'Lex… pass the scalpel to me'

She refuses to buldge, the scalpel still tight in her grip.

' Lexie please…'

She now places the scalpel on her skin, as if ready to slit herself.

I now wish that this is one of the many nightmares I've had recently…but I know it's not.

I quickly run through my mind all the things I've learnt in my Psychiatry classes long ago about handling suicide patients. Only one thing stood out for me , women have higher rates of attempted suicide, but lesser cases of successful suicide. That is the fact which is keeping my strong right now, for Lexie.

' Lexie…seriously, you don't have to do this. It's not worth it' I say, walking slowly towards her, as she slowly backs away from me.

' You have only one life to live, Lex… you can't be reborn again…if you kill yourself, that'll be the end, you wouldn't have a second chance!' I am sounding desperate now.

She stops moving, the scalpel now away from her wrist, but still in her grip.

' And think about the baby Lexie, he or she doesn't even have a chance to live, to experience life. Are you sure you just want to take away the baby's life like that?'

At my last sentence, she abruptly sits down on the floor again, and slowly places the scalpel next to her.

I carefully pick up the scalpel, and dispose it in the sharps bin, all the time not taking my eyes off her. But it seems as if my words have finally made an impact on her.

I take my place next to her again and now take her hand in mine. ' We'll figure this out ok? We'll find a way to get out of this mess...I'll help you, I promise'.

She nods, not saying a word.

I quickly think about my next step…

' Well, umm….when was your Last Menstrual Period?' I ask, trying to help out. 'You know you can count the gestational age by that.'

'I..I…oh God, I can't remember!' I can't even remember when was my last period. What a mess I am' she starts sobbing again.

' It's ok….I will bring you to the Obs department to get your booking done, then they can do a sonogram on you to confirm the gestational age. That way you'll know who the father is. Ok?'

She nods, although she is still crying.

' And you have to tell the father...he'll help you bring up the baby, I'm sure, regardless of whether it's Mark or Alex. Mark might be a manwhore ( she laughs) but you saw yourself how he was with his grandson...he didn't want to give him up at first….'

She nods.

'And Alex, he might be a jerk at times, but I tell you, he's great with kids, you should see him in Paeds.. If you get to know him, he actually has a soft heart...'

She nods again, still sobbing softly.

' And should they chicken out from their responsibility, I'll kick their butt for you..' I say seriously, which makes her laugh despite herself.

I now hug her tight, just willing to do all I can to comfort and protect my little sister from the brutal real world out there.

I'm not sure how long we stayed in that position….I think she is now dozing off in my arms.

' Mer' she whispers suddenly.

' Yes?'

' Thanks for being here for me'

' No problem. Isn't that what big sisters are for?'

I can see her smiling in the dark. 'Yes. I was the one that always had to be there for Molly. I never knew what having a big sister was like'.

' I never knew what being a big sister is like' I reply matter-of-factly. 'But now I know'

She laughs despite herself.

We Grey sisters are tough, and I know we'll make it in the end.

I hope you like this! If you do, please oh please do review- I would love to hear from you :)

p.s. I really hope that Shonda explores more about the relationship between the 2 Grey sisters next seaso

p.p.s. Yes, it is a true fact that women have higher attempted suicide rates, but men have higher successful suicide rates. This fact I learnt in my Psyhiatry posting… Also ,from Obs posting, a sonogram is still the most accurate way of finding out the gestational age of a fetus…

Lastly, if and only if I get enough reviews, I might consider following up this fic, e.g. posting an epilogue- this time from Lexie's POV...