A/N: I was really bored and watching Voltron and thought, why not write a Keith and Lance feels fest? I don't really write fan fiction, but I love these boys so much I thought I might try? So, this is my first one and I thought I might as well throw it onto the internet. I don't know, may write up an alternate ending to this eventually.
Lemme know what you think, yeah?
"We need to form Voltron!" Shiro's voice bellowed loud and clear through all the intercoms, "Now!" Lance could feel a bead of sweat break down his temple, and one by one, he felt himself connect to the other paladins. It was like breathing by now. He took one breath and just like his lungs took in air, he felt the others' life forces latch onto his. Everybody's energies but one.
"Lance, stop screwing around!" the voice that called out over the comms made the carefree paladin scowl. Oh, it would be just like that arrogant prick to think this was his fault. But Lance wasn't the one who'd had some stick up his butt the past couple weeks. He had every right to be the one with stickupbutt syndrome, but he wasn't. He never was. That wasn't part of his job description.
"I'm not screwing with anything, Keith. Quit blocking me out!"
"Guys, now is not the time to bicker. There's something coming our way on the radars! Whatever you two are fighting about, it ends now. I repeat, form Voltron!" The black lion let out a roar mighty of its power, and Lance watched the yellow and green lion fly into position. Red and Blue followed suit. From Pidge, to Hunk, to Shiro, Lance felt the connection but again, it stopped there. "I-I don't know what's wrong. I'm trying!"
"Try harder!" Keith snapped, as if that was magically going to solve all their problems.
Hunk's voice broke the tension, panicked and concerned, "Woah, wo- guys? Guys, we got big trouble. Straight ahead, that guy looks nasty... or deadly. Probably both."
They all saw it, a giant brass and spotted robot coming at them with streams of violet quintessence ripping through the air at lightning speed. Pidge was the first to make a comment on the obvious, "Oh man, this guy's fast. Where are they getting these things? If it weren't so frustrating, I would be totally impress-"
"Pidge," Shiro reprimanded, his voice getting them on track, "Everybody, get ready. If we can't form Voltron right now, we have to do our best with the lions. Brace yourselves. Lance, any suggestions?"
He was still a little shaken, ignoring the fact that he felt like he let the team down. How was he supposed to explain the sudden rift that kept him from connecting with Keith? It's not like he had some guide book on robot alien space sorcery lying around. To be honest, he still wasn't sure how it all worked. It always just happened. And maybe that was the problem. These connections? The way he felt when he willed his life force to bond with other people? Sometimes he let himself go a little too much. He wasn't an idiot, though some could debate otherwise. He knew that something had changed after the last battle when he left himself too open. He reached too far.
[UNKNOWN ASTEROID BELT - APPROXIMATELY 16 QUINTANTS BEFORE PRESENT DAY]
"Alright team, now!" The black paladin beckoned Voltron together and Lance was almost sitting at the end of his seat. He couldn't describe it, the feeling he got whenever they formed Voltron. He felt completely full of life and companionship, something a guy like him could only grow so eager to lean on. Hunk's life force was always the warmest, making his blood pound and his heart speed up. With Pidge came an energy that, combined with his default on-the-go attitude, made the blue paladin feel on top of the world. And Shiro was resolve, strength, and leadership. He glued them together and balanced everything out. Well, almost everything.
Keith's energy was a completely different story and held a separate kind of weight. It was possibly and most definitely the story that Lance loved to hate the most. It was everything combined. The red paladin made his nerves spit fire and his pulse rocket into action. It made his cheeks burn (he would never admit this) and every ounce of Lance felt connected to the grumpy brooding Mullet King when they formed Voltron.
Their bond had been, admittedly, getting stronger since they'd left Earth. The team had already been through so much together, and Lance was actually getting sick of the cryopod. There were just too many opportunities for him to make sure none of his teammates got hurt, especially if that meant jumping in front of a bullet like a moron. He never got sick of coming out to find that Keith had most definitely been worried about him. Sure, the others were worried too, but he could actually tease Keith for it. And tease Keith, he did. Whenever they were together, Lance would run his mouth like he owned their strictly platonic relationship.
It was all Lance could do, right? After what happened and how Keith had reacted to it?
First off, let's get one thing completely straight. Lance's smile was not a mask, okay? He was generally a pretty happy guy. Sure, he had his fair share of angsty mood swings and deep inner conundrums. He was constantly reminded of how lonely he'd been on Earth despite having a killer social streak. He missed his home and his family. There was the seldom occasion when he felt like he'd never be enough for the team. And sometimes, all he wanted to do was jump off the ship without his suit on. But his smile was not and would never be a mask.
And now he hung onto that smile while focusing on the way these other paladins made him feel as they formed Voltron. They were against a crazy fleet - one of the biggest they'd ever had to face. Heading that threat, the team must have put all their soul into forming Voltron. They must have, because Lance hollered out his enthusiasm when the lions started to connect.
"Geez, Lance. Somebody's in a good mood today. You're practically freezing me out with your life force," Pidge laughed, her voice shooting through the comms.
"Yeah? Well, it's not surprising since I am the most powerful lion."
"Keep dreaming, Starboy," Keith muttered, his voice sounding more strained than anything else, "But really, could you tone it down a bit? You're all I can feel too."
There was something about that which sent Lance thinking. He could only wonder what this weird feeling could really be. It was so real - almost tangible. And he always felt Keith the strongest for reasons he didn't want to get into nor had the time to face... again. He pushed it a little further, but only towards the energy that felt the warmest. Keith's energy. And all of a sudden, it was like he was trespassing into his rival's mind.
"What? L-Lance? What the hell do you think you're doing? Get out of my head." Lance couldn't see anything, but he definitely felt it. He felt all of it, and like he was piloting the Red lion, Lance could feel just how intense the two of their connections were. From seeing nothing, Lance suddenly got very vivid emotions, thoughts, and memories. But there was one thought - or maybe it was a memory? - that snapped the shit eating grin off his face.
I love him, Shiro. I can't get that cocky asshole out of my head long enough to think on this god damned ship. And it's starting to piss me off...
"Get the fuck out of my head, you... you basta-"
Keith didn't need to tell Lance twice as the blue paladin ripped away from the other so quickly. It was like everything shut down, and the Black lion immediately rejected everybody else because of it. There was cry of confusion from the other paladins. Hunk was making his worried groans of protest as the Zarkon fleet loomed ever closer to the planet they were suppose to be protecting. Pidge blinked from her lion, rubbing the back of her neck anxiously, "What happened? Are you guys okay?"
"Lance, your lion pulled away. Is something wrong?" Shiro then voiced his concern, and the only two who remained quiet were facing each other in blue and red lions respectively.
[FRAERIA; THE STEEL PLANET - PRESENT DAY]
"Lance... Lance!" Shiro's voice broke the blue paladin out of his thoughts. That robot was still coming at them, and they were still readying to face off against it. But Lance was shaken, and he couldn't think properly anymore. It felt so wrong not to be able to form Voltron after everything. He felt so empty without their bond making him feel alive. He felt useless.
"Wha- uh? Yeah, I'm here."
"That's not what I asked. Damn it Lance, too late. Everybody direct your fire on that thing. Try to slow it down before it gets to us."
Pidge made a small doubtful little hum from Green, "I don't know if that'll do much. But if.. if it's all we got..." She readied her blasters at the robeast, waiting for Shiro's mark. Lance figured that he could do that pretty easily. He was the sharpshooter of the team, after all. Hunk followed the rest, getting out his big cannon to help with the collective blast. After Keith shouted that he was in position, they waited for Shiro to call it.
That's, of course, when Lance finally did spot something that he was sure none of them were prepared for. "Woah woah woah, wait up a tick!"
Maybe it was the way the air was warped around this thing or the fact that it showed absolutely no signs of slowing down to evade the attack, but Lance was positive that shooting at this robot was the last thing they should try to do. "Just focus on hitting that mark, Lance. Alright, ready? Fire!"
The sound of their cumulative blasters going off made the air tremble with the same ferocity of a lion's roar. Everybody shot at the unidentified flying object, the energy lighting the sky on fire. Everybody shot but Keith. Even Lance had jumped to Shiro's orders, grimacing at the thought of always being the trained soldier while Keith did whatever the hell he wanted. No matter how it affected other people.
But Lance's hunch had been right as the robot barely halted under the force of four lions' guns. In fact, it seemed to be eating up that energy to pick up speed. "I think I recognize this from somewhere!" Pidge exclaimed, "You remember that robeast we fought after meeting Ulaz? I think it's reusing the energy from our blasters to feed its power."
The robeast in question looked like a cat, but it definitely wasn't a lion. "Okay, I'm really starting to think that these guys were obsessed with Earth because that is a freaking cheetah." At least Lance still knew how to state the painfully obvious. He heard Keith scoff as the lithe shape of the robeast blew past them and released a wave of energy that knocked all the paladins away from each other.
"Well, thank God you're here to tell us what we already can see for ourselves." Keith's taunt made Lance's blood boil in his armor, and he forced himself to watch the robot spin around and push itself back towards them. Keith spoke again, calm and collected, "Shiro, that thing hasn't slowed down once, and I'm pretty sure it's only getting faster."
"I know," their leader's voice was hard, but they were all relieved to hear a new voice enter the comm's feed.
"Paladins, I'm glad you're all okay. Coran has managed to get communications working again, and we're here to tell you that the Fraerians have been safely moved to the Sky Pavilion, three galaxies away on Fraeria's twin planet. They're safe, thanks to your efforts," Allura announced, going on to inform him that the Castle was on its way.
Lance cheered but was immediately cut off from that cheer when something slammed into the side of his lion. Immediately, the impact left nobody joking, and before he could figure out the damage done to Blue, he was being made painfully aware of what was happening. "Hey, what the- Guys?! This thing isn't letting go. Guys? Hey! A little help?" The cheetah robeast had latched itself to the blue lion's exterior and flawlessly changed directions so that it was heading up and into space.
"La...ce d.. ...ou cop... Wh... hap...ning?" Keith's voice just barely came in through the comms as the cheetah ripped him through the planet's atmosphere like butter. It was hot. Red lights and alarms screamed in his head and made everything start to swim around him. "Okay... okay.. Everything's okay, Blue. I just have no control over your operations right now. That's totally cool. GUYS?!"
As he was speaking, the energy that seemed to connect Lance to Blue started to drain completely and he was left feeling just as empty. The speed picked up. This bastard. It was draining Blue's power. Was that even possible? Again, he couldn't begin to know the mechanics behind robot alien space sorcery. Who knew what they ran on, but he was sure it wasn't faith, trust, and a little pixie dust.
He tried in vain to contact somebody. He just wanted to feel something. To feel anybody at that moment. God, he was sure this thing was moving at the speed of light by now, but everything seemed to be moving so slow for him inside of Blue. Everything was still and motionless. The only thing that moved was his expressive face. Eyes closed, lids shifting with the effort, he felt it.
It was the same energy that always made him feel so damn alive. It was hellishly bittersweet since Lance was pretty sure there was nothing he could do at this point. It just felt nice to feel Keith's life force again, and if he were actually on speaking terms with the Mullet King, he would have said something undoubtedly stupid. Something that would get him a chuckle. Or maybe an incredulous stare. One that said 'You're ridiculous,' in a very Keith-like potency.
As the robeast came hurtling down towards the steel planet's surface, Lance wondered if a cheetah would be jealous of this robot. It was a stupid thing to think about, but just... imagine it from the cheetah's point of view. There you were, doing kick ass cheetah things, feeling like the absolute shit for being a the fastest animal bound by the laws of gravity, and a million galaxies away was this alien cheetah robot on acid stealing Nature's thunder.
He supposed that if he weren't so biased, he'd logically have to apply the same train of thought to Voltron and Earth lions. But since he was pretty sure that he was about to die, Lance felt it was fair to be allowed a biased opinion every now and again. That being said... fuck this robot cheetah that totally wasn't as cool as a real cheetah.
"Woah... where... Did anybody see what happened to Lance?" Keith spun around in Red, his jaw dropping at what he thought he just witnessed. One tick, Lance was there and he'd been cheering about the Fraerian's rescue, and the next tick later, there was a sound like a gunshot and the blue lion had all but disappeared. Keith felt his chest tighten with unwarranted dread and concern.
"Lance, do you copy? What's happening?" He called into the comm and waited for a response. But the only response to be seen or heard came about five ticks later as something crashed into the steel ground below the paladins. Ticks. It had all just happened in a ticks. He had barely been able to blink ten times before he felt the weight of loss fall on his shoulders.
What the hell? What the fuck just happened? L... Lance. He knew he'd felt the blue paladin's energy in that split moment of time. It was there, and it was all he could feel. Red's power spiked because of it and made his fingers crackle with the nerves that Lance's life force could make him feel. And then... it was gone.
It was gone, and Red seemed to flash his anger towards the direction of the impact. "Keith? What's wrong? Where's Lance?" Shiro was talking to him, but he couldn't hear anything. He knew exactly where their comic relief was. He knew because he felt it. God, he had to be feeling it because the alternative to feeling it was not feeling it. And if he didn't feel Lance, then he didn't know what he'd do. Probably something crazy. Something that would make him turn into a vengeful raging psychopath of a paladin.
Red landed a bit more ungracefully than usual next to the impact zone. Robotic parts were scattered about and he could make out the shine and gloss of that robeast's head wedged into a rock. So... a one and done kind of attack, huh? Was that Zarkon's new plan? To take them out one by one? Or maybe... maybe that had been planned to use on a fully formed Voltron. Keith wasn't the strategist. He went in, guns blazing and mind turned off to all logic.
Strategy was really Lance's game if he was willing to admit it. It was still his game. Lance wouldn't be done in by some stupid robot cheetah. He could practically hear the boy mocking that design already. And Keith jumped out of Red to run into the metallic cloud of dust that had been shaken up from the harsh landing.
"Lance," Keith tried the comms again but didn't lose his stubborn opinion that Lance was alive. He would fucking kill that bastard if he went and died on the team - died on him. He couldn't have died like that. After a few ticks of being caught off guard? It was so anticlimactic. It was hardly a death worth Lance's bravery and stupidity. He had no doubt in his mind that if any of them were going to kick it first, it would have been the too full of himself egomaniac with a twenty-four seven grin.
But in Keith's mind, that was a long way off. And after all the bickering and the nonsense that Lance pulled, after all the stupid jokes and teasing prods to Keith's dignity, Lance was going to die some hero or something. He'd be doing it sacrificially, and there would be no doubt in Keith's mind that Lance wouldn't have turned away from something like that. Because he knew Lance.
He knew him more than any of the others. They hadn't seen what Keith had that day. While Lance took a trip into the red paladin's mind, Keith indulged himself as well. He craved to know what made that idiot smile so easily. How he could care about somebody so unconditionally. But what he'd seen was nothing like the smile that Lance wore on the surface. It was a pretty dark picture underneath that iron mask of a grin. And Keith had witnessed a memory that seemed to be clawing perpetually towards the surface.
"Okay, so... dude. This is gonna sound completely lame and you're gonna think I'm joking, but you have to hear me out." Lance was leaning against the counter in the ship's kitchen, all limbs and angles. Keith had been having more bad dreams, and while he just wanted Lance to leave him alone, he was also willing to admit that he enjoyed the guy's annoying company... a little too much.
"Okay... lame, annoying, and possibly a joke. So, basically just listen to you like I would any day of the week?" Keith tried as a half assed attempt at an insult. Lance didn't seem to catch on this time, however. He looked... nervous? Well that was a surprise. He never looked nervous. Stupid and intellectually constipated, sometimes, but never nervous.
Lance was rubbing the back of his head, lips pushed down in that little frown he did whenever he was trying to work through something. But that frown also led to, most often than not, surprisingly brilliant revelations about completely pointless things. At the very least, that frown meant Lance was about to say something intriguing. So Keith didn't interrupt again. "Hmm, okay. Yeah, I think I got it. Ready? So, I think I like you. Which is pretty lame in my opinion because it's totally predictable, and I wish I could say something less lame than 'I like you'? Like... 'Hey Keith, do you like Barbies? Tell you what, man, I'll be Ken and you be the box that I come in.' Or something along those lines? Something ironic and lame, but lame in a good way. But all I got is... I like you. So...?"
Oh God. No. No no no. This stuff was not supposed to come out of Lance's mouth. Not something like that. Did the guy even really think about this, or was that just something he impulsively said as a way to get under Keith's skin? Because it was working. After all the effort they'd put into this easy going, back and forward frienemyship, Lance wanted to ruin that?
"You're kidding." It hurt. It hurt because Keith was saying all the wrong things in and outside of his mind. It hurt because Lance wasn't allowed to get this close to him. If Lance was intellectually constipated, Keith was definitely his emotionally constipated counterpart. 'I like you' was not in Keith's registrar of known terms. "I can't... Lance, you know I - we - can't act on anything like that, right?"
Lance definitely looked like a large chunk of his ego had been ripped out of him. But there was that grin, so it couldn't be all that bad, could it? Lance was smirking for crying out loud. Keith felt like an idiot. "Wait, we can't, or you can't? I'm perfectly capable of acting on things like that. Just as much as I'm perfectly capable of pretending we never had this conversation."
Keith huffed out obvious frustrations, forcing a sneer that held no real venom in it, "Shut up, Starboy. I could act on it plenty well enough. Make you perfectly incapable of handling it. But, I don't want to. Wouldn't want to. We're friends. Let's keep it that way." Lance seemed to stare at him for a moment too long because it looked like they both had some different narrative they wanted to tell. But in the end, Lance chuckled, "Eh, I guess so. Sorry for making it weird. But not sorry at the same time. You are absolutely adorable when you're flustered."
And that's how it happened. How could he have admitted to Lance that not only a week before that night, he'd been spilling his guts to Shiro about how much he stupidly loved this idiot? It became all too real the second Lance reciprocated those feelings - or at least, a fraction of what Keith felt and was constantly trying not to feel. Because if he felt something, that would be the end of the world, right? God forbid he let himself feel emotion and open himself up to weakness!
Keith had never thought Lance was hurting over that conversation. He was always smiling! And the blue paladin hadn't been lying when he said he was perfectly capable of pretending that the conversation had never happened. Oh God... When he intruded into Lance's mind it had been an indescribably lonely place: a loneliness that Keith couldn't imagine Lance, who always held smile and another person hooked at his side to keep him company, could be struggling with.
How was Keith supposed to know that Lance had needed something more than friendship from somebody? When was the last time they'd had a deep conversation? It struck him that the answer to that was the night before Lance admitted his feelings - always the stupidly brave one. The stupidly brave boy that would most definitely dive into conflict head first in the hopes that he might make it to the stars a hero... and not some lonely homesick teenager wearing a smile as a mask.
And in a few ticks, that bastard who'd realized he could have had Keith all along was nowhere to be felt in the rubble of the Blue lion.