Strong Bad Goes to the Moon
"Okay The Cheat! We're really going to the moon this time!" Strong Bad said excitedly. The Cheat sighed and stopped his game of Jenga to tell Strong Bad he was crazy!
The Cheat inquired Strong Bad about how on Earth was he going to find a rocket. Strong Bad said, "Not 'find', 'make Bubs build one.' The Cheat and Strong Bad went over to Bubs' stand.
"Yep guys! I'm almost done with this!" Bubs pointed to a mediocre rocket. The Cheat squealed and leaped into Bubs' arms.
"What's wrong, The Cheat?" Strong Bad asked. "It's a cool rocket!"
The Cheat squeaked about how terribly built the rocket was. A wing fell off the rocket. That made The Cheat very uneasy.
"Fine! I'll just find someone ELSE to be copilot!" Strong Bad said.
Unfortunately, that was hard. He asked Strong Mad but Strong Mad wanted to stay with The Cheat because despite his lack of intelligence he had SOME sense.
Marzipan said no because she can't stand Strong Bad, Pom Pom said no because he'd blow up in such high altitudes (gasgasgasgasgasgas fill up POP!), Coach Z said no because he was scared like The Cheat was, and Bubs said no for "very mysterious" reasons (because he was gypping Strong Bad and selling him an unsafe rocket).
Strong Bad was desperate! He knew that only five options remained: and he despised all of them. He was literally disgusted asking the Poopsmith. The Poopsmith said no (or rather, shook his head) because he needed to stay and attend his "What's it" pile.
He asked Homestar. Homestar said no because he liked marshmallows more than green cheese (what a freakin' moron!). He asked the King of Town. The King of Town said no because when he went there the green cheese was all gone.
Strong Bad grunted. He could now only choose between the ones he really wished didn't exist. He asked Homsar but Homsar was just too weird for comfort. Strong Bad said, "Well I guess I'm going alone! No use asking the stupid-dump-wiener-nerd man! He's gonna say 'no' anyway since a lot of people did and he's a lot more sine called than they are."
The Cheat came up to Strong Bad, asking him mockingly whether or not he found a new copilot.
"Why yes The Cheat…uhh…I have. But…uhh…he's not with me right now." Strong Bad said nervously as he ran (totally desperately) to get his little brother.
Strong Bad ran into the house. "Strong Sad!" he yelled.
"What?" was the reply.
"I can't believe I'm asking YOU this but… do you wanna… go to the moon?" Strong Bad asked gleefully.
"I beg your pardon?" Strong Sad's answer was. Either he had not understood or not heard. Strong Bad went with the latter.
"I said, 'I can't believe I'm asking YOU this but… do you wanna… go to the moon?'" Strong Bad's reply was.
"No" Strong Sad said, "I meant 'What do you mean 'go to the moon'?"
Strong Bad laughed at that. "You're really an idiot if you don't know what it means. It means 'go to the moon'."
Strong Sad looked at Strong Bad nervously, "Are you just trying to get me killed or something?" he asked, suspicious.
Strong Bad punched Strong Sad in the stomach. "Actually this time I'm desperate for a copilot," Strong Bad said, "You were the only one left."
"I see," said Strong Sad, "Well too bad, because I'm not going."
"Strong Sad, come on, man!" Strong Bad whined.
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
This argument went on for about an hour until Strong Sad finally caved.
"Okay, okay, if you're THAT desperate. But you still owe me!" Strong Sad's final answer was.
"Thanks man! I love you!" Strong Bad said and immediately realized what he said was untrue and very affecting. "Well maybe I don't LOVE you."
"As long as you tolerate the ground I breathe near, I'm content," Strong Sad said slightly sarcastically (that's a lot o' S's).
Strong Bad dragged his little brother to the rocket. He had some comments about this, "Ow! Please stop! I can walk! I'd like to!"
When they got to the rocket Strong Sad's face was scraped all over and dirty. Strong Sad was fearful of getting an infection. Since the rocket was next to Bubs' stand, Strong Sad bought some of that almost-painless-cut--scrape-cleaner and some Neosporin® as well as some Band-Aids®.
Strong Bad said, "There's too much medical advertising around here."
Strong Sad said, "They wouldn't have come if you had just let me WALK!" as he cleaned his face. Almost painless my eye he thought.
Strong Bad was once again confronted by The Cheat. He squeaked. In translation, The Cheat was saying "STRONG SAD'S your copilot? I've seen you abuse him but this is just going too far!"
Strong Bad said, "The Cheat! I'm not abusing him! He agreed to go with me!"
Strong Sad remarked, "After sixty-one minutes of saying 'No.'"
The Cheat chuckled at this. While The Cheat typically was fonder of Strong Bad than Strong Sad, Strong Sad was definitely smarter and less bossy. Come to think of it, why DOES The Cheat like Strong Bad? He thought about this himself and warned Strong Sad to be careful. He warned Strong Bad that if anything happened to Strong Sad, he'd tell Strong Mad, and well… Strong Bad would get a beating.
Strong Bad promised he'd make sure nothing happened to Strong Sad and Strong Sad promised he wouldn't go suicidal on the journey for Strong Bad's sake.
The Cheat squeaked a good-bye.
Strong Sad hugged The Cheat. "You've been really nice to me lately. You haven't abused me since what… 'privileges'? And don't forget we worked together to make 'Experimental Film'."
This angered Strong Bad. Strong Mad he could understand The Cheat giving more attention to than him, but STRONG SAD?
Strong Bad tried to kick The Cheat. Strong Sad put his face in the way. He knew it would hurt, but at least HE got that stuff all the time.
Strong Sad collapsed. The Cheat was mad! Strong Sad had saved him from getting kicked again and got badly injured for it. The Cheat tried his best to beat up Strong Bad.
"Hey man! I was just jealous okay?" Strong Bad said in a "have mercy" tone of voice.
The Cheat squeaked and then Strong Bad dragged Strong Sad into the rocket. "We'll be on the moon! I'll bring you back some green cheese or something!" Strong Bad said.
The Cheat sighed.
Strong Bad looked out the window. "Wheeeee!" he yelled, "We're blasting to the mooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOn!"
Strong Sad woke up and said "Huh? Where are we? What day is it?"
Strong Bad said, "It's Tuesday and we're going to the mooooooOOOOOOON!
Strong Sad said, "You mean it has been less than a day since The Cheat and I played Jenga?"
Strong Bad said, "Umm… yeah! You were only unconscious about fifteen minutes!"
Strong Sad decided that was a little funny. He giggled… no wait… wishful thinking.
It was soon that they were on the moon. "What?" Strong Bad yelled. "No green cheese?"
Strong Sad said, "Oh please, the green cheese myth is harder to believe than the 'man in the moon' myth."
"You mean… no 'man in the moon' either? People all are crap 4 brains." Strong Bad sighed.
Strong Sad said, "The first man on the moon was Neil Armstrong…"
Strong Bad perked up. "Strong? That's cool!"
Strong Sad rolled his eyes. "I said ARMstrong, you arrogant sadist."
Strong Bad hated it when Strong Sad insulted him using complicated words. They started to walk out onto the moon. Strong Sad put on a spacesuit and Strong Bad reluctantly did too.
"I don't want to!" whined Strong Bad.
"Why not?" asked Strong Sad. "You'll smother if you don't."
"You'll smother if I hear one more word out of you! Do you understand?" Strong Bad threatened.
"But The Cheat said…" Strong Sad warned.
"Oh yeah. Then I won't even think about killing you." Strong Bad said getting into the spacesuit.
When they got out they realized there was oxygen. Strong Sad took off his helmet first and said, "Hey Strong Bad, it's safe!
Strong Bad saw a sign that read: Műn Mewn Luna.
"Well that's pretty crappy." said Strong Bad, noticing he was right next to Bubs' concession stand.
The Cheat rushed up and hugged Strong Bad and Strong Sad.
"Yeah we're glad to see you too, The Cheat" Strong Bad and Strong Sad said in unison.
Meanwhile, at the castle of the King of Town, he was being served piles and piles and piles of green cheese (it was moldy).
Author's Notes:
To the mooooooOOOOOON: A reference to "personal favorites" and "Strong Bad Is in Jail Cartoon"
"privileges": Though the torture was vague, it did happen.