Disclaimer: The Doctor and all his companions are the property of the BBC and Russell T. Davies. There are not mine, nor will they ever be.
A/N: This is just a random piece of silliness inspired by the premature, shall we say, exit of John Barrowman from the ITV1 show 'Dancing On Ice' earlier this year. I'm still annoyed about it...
A/N 2: I can't ice-skate, and therefore have no knowledge of the logistics or techniques of the sport.So I apologise if anything described in the story is completely and utterly wrong.
Captain Jack on Ice
"Whoa…oof!"
Trying to ignore the hysterical giggles coming from Rose, Jack attempted to look dignified from his position flat on his back on the frozen ice of the lake. Unfortunately, dignity was not something that he had a lot of left, so he quickly gave up.
"I thought you said you could skate?" It was hard to distinguish the words through the laughter, and for a moment Jack was tempted to ignore the question. But when Rose repeated it he had no choice but to answer.
"I can. I just haven't been on the ice for a long time, that's all."
"Or ever, perhaps?" The sardonic words came from the Doctor, who was standing a few metres away on the shore, having refused to skate at all.
"I'll have you know I was the star of the figure-skating team back in high school," retorted Jack, feeling nettled.
Apparently this revelation was even more hilarious than seeing the Captain fall over, because Rose started laughing even harder. Jack sighed, and the Doctor rolled his eyes.
"What's so funny now?"
"I'm just picturing you in one of those awful lycra ice-dancing costumes," hiccupped Rose, trying to calm herself down.
"They weren't all that bad," protested Jack. "I dressed up as Elvis once, you know. All the girls – and some of the guys too – thought I looked pretty damn hot! Although it did chafe a little," he admitted, promptly sending Rose into another round of giggles.
Unfortunately, she was laughing so hard that she wasn't really paying attention to her balance, the result of which was that her skates flew out from under her, and she joined Jack sitting on the ice.
Jack thought about making a few sarcastic comments of his own, but the grimace on Rose's face told him that she had bruised herself pretty badly, so instead he scrambled to his feet and skated carefully over to her to help her up.
"Are you okay?"
Rose grimaced again but then nodded. "I'm fine. Just wasn't paying attention."
"Are you going to be able to stay upright if I let go of your arms?"
Rose nodded again, so Jack let go. She wobbled, but only for a second, and then set off gingerly across the ice. Jack watched her for a few seconds, and then turned his attention to his own skating.
It was amazing how quickly everything came back, he mused as he glided across the ice. Push, glide, push, glide, remember to bend the knees, don't lean too far in any direction, and keep your head up. After a few minutes he felt that he was sufficiently in command of the basics to try something a little more adventurous. Skating backwards, he headed towards the Doctor, coming to a halt in front of the Time Lord with a flurry of ice.
"Sure I can't persuade you to join us?"
"No, thank you. I'm quite happy watching you two make fools of yourself."
"You're just jealous because you can't do it yourself."
"Says the person who a few moments ago was flat on his back on the ice."
"I told you, I'm just getting back into the swing of it." Feeling slightly pissed off, Jack decided that he would show the Doctor, and Rose, just how good he was. Taking off across the ice, he skated until he felt he was moving smoothly enough to attempt something that would wipe the grins off his companions' faces.
Left, right, left, right, left, right. Then, with his weight on his right foot, he swung his left leg around and launched himself off the ice into a triple spin, landing on the other foot and sweeping around in a wide arc until he was facing the Doctor and Rose.
Both of them were gaping at the stunt he had just pulled, but as he skated up to them the Doctor started clapping and Rose started cheering.
"I take it all back. That was amazing!" Rose sounded deeply impressed, and Jack couldn't resist giving her a smug smile. Then he turned to the Doctor.
"What do you say now, Doctor? Still think I can't skate?"
"I'll admit, that was pretty good. But there was something missing."
"And what would that be?"
"A costume. I refuse to be impressed until I've seen you do that dressed as Elvis!"