A/N: Hello everyone! I am just a new author who couldn't get rid of this plot bunny so here I am!
Notes to keep in mind while reading the story: I am writing this story for entertainment only! I don't ship LingEd but I just wanted to write a story for this ship. Any flames received shall be put out with a fire extinguisher. Also, for those who don't know what a kuudere is, a kuudere is a person who is cold and unfeeling on the outside but does care for people. It is not to be mistaken for a tsundere because a tsundere is a person who is tough and hot tempered. A kuudere is calm and intelligent whereas a tsundere is a hot head most of the time.
Also about Fem!Ed, I portray her as a girl who is extremely similar to her male counterpart but is more sensitive and as a result does not open her heart to strangers for fear they would leave her like her father. She is also extremely resourceful and sharp with her words. And as for her relationship with Ling, she may appear to dislike him but keep in mind, she does care. As a result of not opening her heart out to people, she doesn't know how to show it, that's all. And did I forget to mention she speaks and behaves like a British woman?
Also, like in the canon, where there is a running gag about Ed being short, there is a running gag in this fic about Ed's spectacles not breaking no matter how much you try. (Yeah she wears spectacles) Ed is not very short, in fact she is only 5 inches shorter than Ling.
This fic has a lot of Ed's thoughts so the people who don't get what's a kuudere can understand her better.
Sorry if I had bored you. Now go on, read the story! Reviews are much welcomed!
Ed put a hand to her spectacles and took them off and rubbed them with her handkerchief. To her shock, she saw something red on her handkerchief. When she inspected it, she could smell the familiar smell of blood. When she looked down, she saw herself surrounded in an ocean of blood. She turned back to see whether her bag was alright.
Ok….now this was strange. Where was she…..Oh shit.
She remembered everything that happened in a flash. Gluttony raving about how the bloody Colonel had apparently killed "Lust" then her, Al and Ling fighting with Envy and Gluttony afterwards and then she, Ling and Envy had got swallowed by the childish Homunculus.
Bloody hell.
Her eyes widened a bit as she saw the skeleton of a….priest next to her. Poor git was in one hell of a place to die. But first things first she had to find a way out. How?
Good question. But the real question was: How do you get out of a Homunculus's stomach? And why were broken pillars with fire here?
Oh, the Homunculus had swallowed a certain Colonel's flames. Well, she was pretty thankful for those flames or she would have been walking around blind. Not a good thing.
Suddenly she got extremely annoyed. If she hadn't saved the bloody git of a foreign prince then she wouldn't have been stuck here. Or did she do the right thing in saving that wanker?
Well…he was a…companion so of course she had to save him….right?
An idea popped into her brain, if she just called the bloody git's name then he would appear right? After all he had a tendency to show up at the most strangest of times. And two heads worked better than one. They could hatch a plan to escape.
She decided to chance it.
"HEY YOU BLOODY WANKER! COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!" She yelled at the top of her voice.
Sure enough she could hear the bloody wanker's voice calling out.
"Who do you think you are, calling me like that?"
Ed had a blank look on her face. The bloody wanker was scowling and he had two torches of bone.
Ha, never thought she'd see the day the wanker scowled.
"You can't go around insulting the future Emperor of a nation." He said.
Still wearing that blank look on her face, she said "I just did, you git."
She inwardly smirked at his reaction but then remembered something. Envy was here too wasn't he?
"How do I know you're not Envy you wanker?"
"And how do I know if you're not Envy? You don't usually call me for help."
She glared inwardly, one slip and she couldn't reason with him.
"All right. I like pudding and roast turkey. Happy?"
"Ok you're Ed."
"Go on."
"Eh?"
She got irritated but kept her emotions in check. "How do I know you're not Envy?"
He smirked. Did she just think it was hot?! Bloody hormones.
"Want me to recite the hotel room service from top to bottom?"
"Ok you got me. We have got to get out of here but I don't think getting out of a stomach is too easy."
"Aren't you supposed to be the genius?"
"Oh keep your mouth shut. The only way you get out of a stomach is by making the devourer vomit. How do you think that is going to happen when this guy hasn't vomited a thing?"
"Never thought you were the one to give up."
"Idiots like you don't know the difference between logic and foolishness. I've observed that there were a lot of skeletons. And the Colonel's flames."
"Touché`. And there was part of the abandoned shack we were hiding at. Along with the Lieutenant's car. "
"But how is Gluttony's belly so huge?"
"No idea. But I sincerely doubt this is a pleasant place."
"Nice observation Sherlock."
"Hey, you don't have to be sarcastic for everything."
"Deal with it."
"Want a torch?"
"Sure. Thank you."
Suddenly, she gasped as she looked at something.
"Ed? What is it?"
"I can't believe it! Look at this."
She had picked up Al's hand. She looked puzzled.
"Is that Al's?"
Ed nodded. "But why just his hand?" Ling asked.
"Probably because he didn't jump right into Gluttony's range. I'm glad. He didn't get swallowed and we wouldn't have to look for him." She said, sighing a sigh of relief and a ghost of a smile was on her face. However, Ling didn't notice it.
But then she frowned, "He's most probably getting all worked up now and wondering where we are. If only I could contact him and reassure him I'm fine." She sighed again, this time it was of sadness.
She looked at her brother's hand. Oh how telepathy would be useful right now.
She put Al's hand inside her hand.
After some nice trekking through blood, Ed commented "It looks like a wasteland with human remains and buildings. All these skeletons….they're from different time periods."
"I'm starting to wonder if there's even a way out of here."
"If not, then I'll make one."
"You will won't you?"
Ed looked at him blankly. "Of course you wanker."
"How and where?"
She frowned.
Sometime later, the duo kneeling on a platform with blue alchemical light flashing around them. Ed had just made a very deep well.
When she was down, she put her hands on her hips and said, "Okay, now drop the torch."
The bloody git looked down the well, "Ooooh! I get it now."
Ed snorted. "Dunce."
"Hey!"
"Drop the bloody torch now."
Ling huffed, dropping the torch.
The duo looked down into the well, hearing the torch clank as it hit a side of the well. Ed and Ling put a hand to their ears to listen.
If it were an anime, you could have sworn there were five white dots clicking into your TV screen.
After your imaginary fifth dot, Ling fell into a dejected state while Ed just looked blank.
"By now we should have heard it land. Right?" Ed asked emotionlessly.
After sometime later, the duo were running through the blood.
"There has to be a wall somewhere right? RIGHT?! " Ling yelled, tears running down his face.
"Stop shouting idiot. And no matter how huge this place is, it's got to have an exit!" Ed said loudly enough for him to hear.
"You know. This is getting seriously old." Ling said wearily.
"Blood doesn't make for good terrain." He continued.
Ed was extremely tired. "I noticed. And we're still not close to any bloody exit." She grumbled.
"I'm starving to death."
"As soon as we're out, I'll cook all the food you want and you can sleep anywhere you want in my bloody house. Just….not in my bedroom." She said.
Ed blushed, she seriously hadn't said that did she? Damn that prince, he was practically making her do the impossible.
She heard a splash only to see the wanker had collapsed on a log.
"Hey, you wanker, don't tell me you're giving up too soon?" She asked in veiled disbelief.
"But I'm so tired. And I'm starving." The wanker whined.
"Don't you give up on me now! Quit being so weak!" She retorted.
Ling was heavily breathing and looked tired.
Ed's eyes softened for a moment. He reminded her of Al when the poor lad was starving in that island. But then her sympathy didn't last for long, she looked irritated.
"I'm not letting you slow me down. I'll let you die here." She said coldly.
Still the wanker didn't budge. Damn it. She held her torch in her mouth and carried Ling on her shoulders. What? She worked out.
"I thought you were going to leave me behind."
"I'd be letting down a lot of people if I left you behind." She said softly. 'Including myself.' She thought.
"You've got a lot of people waiting for you right?" She continued in that soft voice of hers.
His eyes opened in shock. Her voice sounded like a melody right now.
"Not. A. Word." She said.
Ah well, looks like good old Ed was back. He smiled to himself. 'So Ed does care. I knew it.' He thought, smiling.
Suddenly she fell down and the two were now swimming in the blood.
"Never pegged you as someone clumsy."
"Quiet, wanker. I have my moments."
They found a nearby rock and sat on it.
"Boy, am I hungry." Ling said sadly.
Ed looked at her bag. Then at Ling. Then at her bag. She sighed.
"As a matter of fact, I do have some food we could-"She was cut off as an enthusiastic Xingese prince was hugging her.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" He said grinning and suddenly took at a look at the position he was. He was hugging Edward Elric. The Ice Princess.
He went red. "Sorry…I got-"
"It doesn't matter. I've got a few cakes, some chocolates, a roasted turkey, a roasted chicken, meat pie and a packet of noodles."
Ling looked at her as if he could hug her again but he didn't.
"Ed. You are my savior."
"Nonsense. It's mere resourcefulness. What do you want?"
"The noodles and the roasted chicken. Oh and a piece of that roasted turkey and meat pie along with a chocolate. Okay with you?"
"Yes. I don't eat much anyway."
"Let's-"
"Have some personal hygiene. Wash your hands first." She said, holding three big bottles of water.
"Party pooper."
After washing their hands, Ling waited impatiently as Ed put the noodles in an iron pan of water. She had transmutated the blood into an iron pan, plates, forks and spoons, and tumblers. Way to be fancy Ed.
After giving out the noodles in an iron plate along with the food items the wanker had requested she ate her cakes primly whereas Ling devoured the food as if his life was going to fade soon.
He let out a satisfied grin. Ed had finished as well. (After washing her hands and insisting Ling to do the same of course)
"So Ed…I've been meaning to ask you a question."
"As long as it's not very personal."
"Well…why do you shut me out?"
Ed looked at him, a surprised look on her face. Then she sighed.
"You really want to know?"
"Um yes?"
Her face went red. After looking at his inquisitive face and a long 5 minutes she answered.
"I don't know why but I feel….different around you. You're so annoying yet….you're kind. You really want to become king but only for the wellbeing of your people. I just feel…..attracted to you. I don't know why…I never felt this way before and I didn't know what to do so I felt the need to shut you out."
The prince sitting opposite to her looked completely blown out of his mind. Ed liked him? She felt the damn same way he did?!
"There. Hap-" She was cut off as there was something soft against her mouth. The stupid prince was kissing her?
It took 10 seconds for her mind to function properly. Then she kissed back with just as much force he was using. She smiled. She enjoyed the taste of chicken noodles so much it amazed her.
Everything was perfect at this moment.
Alphonse Elric did not know why he felt the need to punch Ling and send him to hell. The feeling was very disturbing but he shrugged it off. Ling wouldn't have done anything wrong on that level right?
XD! Al almost found out but where's the fun in knowing everything! Suggestions for improving my writing style are well appreciated! I quote my sister but it's slightly different:
Flames shall be used to warm chicken soup. XD!
For anyone who feels the romance was a bit fast paced I don't know why that kiss happened but it just happened! That kiss just wrote itself! And as for Al's intuition that was inspired by this fic in Hetalia. So, what do you think?
Rate and Review please!