I finished this in just under a day in the middle of October. Why so long ago? Well, a few months back I mentioned a bunch of times that I would be participating in Spyridon's kickass Secret Santa writing competition on livejournal, Operation C.A.F.E., called Operation: Alpha Maiden.
Well, I waited until after January 1st to post because I wanted to keep it as much a 'secret' as I could, but now you guys know. :D This was my gift for PoeticallyIncorrect1, who requested a Jai/Annie/Auggie friendship pairing and to use the line "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
There was unfortunately some kind of problem with O:AM, so one participant almost didn't receive a Secret Santa gift but I was willing to step, so you guys will be getting two oneshots for the price of one today!
$4$
You've got me poppin' champagne
I'm at it again
Caught up in the moment
But not in the right way
I'm falling in between
Tearing up at the seams
We're just aiming to please
And aesthetics don't hurt one bit
- "Poppin' Champagne," by All Time Low
"I'm still not sure I understand… any of this."
Auggie grinned over at her. They stood close together, by the railing—appropriate, because it gave them the opportunity to view the crowd, which was growing more rambunctious by the second. "Oh, you'll get it by the end of the night," he replied, taking a sip from his red Solo cup.
"I don't think I'll ever get it," Annie responded, tucking herself a little closer to his side. It was usually a safe bet, because that decreased the likelihood that some drunken guy from the seventh floor would try to hit on her with mistletoe. Most guys were too afraid to piss off the one guy capable of frying their hard drive with a few clicks of a mouse. "This is a special level of crazy, even for the CIA."
He laughed, tilting his head towards her. "You're telling me this is too out there, even for you, Anarchy Annie?"
She dug her elbow into his side. "Stop calling me that," she hissed into his ear. "You make me sound like a lunatic."
"What?" Auggie asked innocently, badly hiding a laugh. "You can't be mad. It's perfectly appropriate. And alliterative. Everywhere you go, chaos follows. You're just jealous because I thought of it all on my own."
"You're so full of it," she said, rolling her eyes. "It's not even—"
"Anybody start dancing on a table yet?" Jai asked, coming up on Annie's other side. He was also holding a Solo cup, but it was his festive tie that made her grin.
"So far, no," Auggie replied, subtly leaning closer to Annie. "But you're welcome to hop up there and give it a try. If you see any cameras, don't worry, it's only going to be on the cover of the newsletter. And the Times."
"Really?" Jai shot back, already willing to start throwing down. "I shouldn't have too much to worry about if you're pointing the camera. I bet you'll get some great shots of the wall."
His expression twisted into one of contempt, but before he could get the next insult out Annie pressed closer to Auggie, better separating the two of them. "Enough," she demanded sternly. "Stop acting like idiots or so help me I will call Joan over here to kick both your asses."
They looked suitably chastised—but only for a second. Then Auggie finally broke his sort of stare-off with Jai to turn his attention towards her. "Aw, you mean you're going to rat us out to Mom?"
Annie was unable to hold back the surprised burble of laughter—and, she noticed, neither was Jai—and she smacked his shoulder ineffectually. "Oh my God, you did not just call Joan 'mom,'" she replied, eyebrows somewhere near her hairline. "I'm so telling her you said that."
He grinned good-naturedly, obviously proud to have earned her reaction. "Tattletale," he joked.
She grinned back happily and then remembered what Jai had said earlier. "Wait, what do you mean, dancing on the tables?" she asked, turning back to him in alarm.
Jai looked too proud to have to explain it to Annie. There were some things she was still too green to know about their employers. "Happens every year," he replied, straightening his brightly colored tie. "As you can tell, the punch is already spiked beyond recognition, and that's nothing compared to the drainer fluid that has to be the eggnog."
"So it doesn't take much for everyone to get tanked," Auggie piped up, sipping from his own spiked drink once more. "Inhibitions lower, music gets louder, and inevitably someone winds up dancing on their desk."
Annie's brown eyes widened, and she eyed the punch bowl on the other side of the room with newfound fear. "And here I thought college frat parties were scary," she murmured, watching as Barber went back for another round.
"Oh no," Jai said, smiling as he followed her stare. "Fraternities have nothing on the pure psychosis that is a government Christmas party."
"And isn't that a terrifying concept," Auggie drawled with a nod and for a few seconds it she almost forgot he couldn't see everything right along with she and Jai.
"Most definitely," Annie agreed, resting her hand on the railing.
"Wait until one of the janitors finds a couple in the closet," Jai added wisely, jutting his chin toward the crowd. "That's when the night gets good."
Annie wrinkled her nose delicately, trying desperately not to picture the dirty details. "Oh, gross," she groaned.
"It usually happens several times throughout the night," Jai said, painting an even more colorful picture than before. "And by next week there'll be a memo sent out that says next year's party will be 'alcohol-free'. And then we'll start all over again."
"It's worth it," Auggie said, his grin suspiciously cat-got-the-cream.
"Just because I've only been on the fourth floor for the last two years doesn't mean I haven't heard about the number of times you've been caught," Jai replied, shooting Annie a significant look.
"Because you're completely innocent," Auggie replied pointedly.
Annie whipped her head around to stare at him. "Auggie—?" His grin was way too cocky, and as he opened his mouth she cut him off, throwing up her hands in the air in the universal 'stop.' "No. Don't. I don't wanna—no. I don't wanna hear about, I don't wanna know. No. Just—bad."
Jai was outright laughing at her discomfort, and she whipped around and glared pointedly at him.
"Granted, it does usually qualify as a 'Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time,' moment at the end of the night," Auggie explained wistfully.
Annie turned back to him slowly. "Eww."
Loud catcalls broke out all around the room, and they all swiveled their heads toward the sound. Jai busted out laughing again at the sight while Annie's hands flew to her mouth in surprise. At Auggie's confused expression, she leaned over and whispered, "Stu just kissed a girl under the mistletoe."
For his part, Auggie looked overjoyed to know one of his techies was finally getting some. "He did? Who?"
"Katy, that cute redheaded barista," she said, giggling a little to herself as Stu, aware of the catcalls, deepened the kiss with a very overdramatic dip.
"He did? Sweet!" Auggie exclaimed excitedly. "Barber owes me $100!"
Jai, who had overheard the both of them, rolled his eyes. "Classy."
"Did you guys bet on when Stu and Katy kissed?" Annie asked, her voice laced with disapproval.
"Of course not," Auggie assured her, patting her hand distractedly. "It was less a bet about when they would hook up than when he would actually work up the nerve to try."
Annie stared up at him for a beat. "That's not much better!"
"That's significantly better and you know it," Auggie argued with a smile.
At that moment, one of Arthur's secretaries caught Jai's eye with a less-than-innocent stare. Fixing his bright green-and-red-striped tie again, he turned his attention to Annie apologetically. "If you don't mind, I'll be going now. Have a good night you two. Merry Christmas."
With a wink, Jai turned and headed straight for the sexy-looking secretary and Annie had to resist a sigh. "Guess we know who's getting caught by the janitor next," Auggie muttered, smirking to himself.
"Gross," she said with a groan, knocking her shoulder into his. "How did you even know where he was going?"
Auggie turned his head towards her, moving close like he was telling a secret. "Tone, my dear," he replied. "Tone says everything."
She laughed, leaning her weight against his side for a few seconds, appreciating the additional body heat. "You guys really are too much sometimes."
"Why do you think CIA parties are so awesome every year?" he asked her rhetorically. "Because we're all friggin' nuts."
"I can tell," she answered lightly, turning back to the mass of people, many of whom were now singing various holiday songs, all of them off-key. Glancing back at Auggie, she added, "Though you could do to look a little more Christmas-y. Black and grey don't really go with Christmas cheer. Even Jai wore a fun tie for the occasion."
Chuckling, Auggie replied, "Hey, you got me into the hat." Pointing at the fuzzy Santa hat, cocked at a jaunty angle, sitting on his head in question, he added, "That's about as much as you're gonna get out of me tonight."
"Lame," Annie muttered, rolling her eyes. It was totally worth the ten minute guilt-trip earlier in the night to get him to wear the hat.
The devilish grin that flitted across his face was her only warning for what was about to come out of his mouth next. "In that case, we can always find an empty closet and I can show you how my boxers match."
Annie's eyebrows shot up comically and her jawline dropped. "You did not just say that, August Anderson!" she shouted, cuffing his shoulder hard enough to hear a satisfying smack. "I am so telling Joan that you hit on me."
"Hey, that's not being very nice to your fellow man during the holiday season," he grumbled, rubbing the offended shoulder.
"Whatever, you're lucky I'm not going to refuse to talk to you 'til the end of the year!" she snapped, not really having any of the actual malice behind the threat.
"…Annie, the year ends in two weeks."
"Shut up, Anderson!"
Yeah, Christmas parties at the CIA were weird.
$4$
A little nonsensical and wacky, but I figure real CIA holiday parties are probably just as much so. ;)
For anyone curious, keep any eye out for me in the next couple of days... Chapter 2 of More Than Melody is almost complete!
I hope everybody's had a great holiday, whatever they are!