# Before I Come Undone(PrUk) #
=?= Don't ask. I love me some PrUk, but this has nothing to do with that. This is just some weird drabble shit and I don't even know because I don't.
I take all requests. Seriously.
Kaelin is New Zealand.
### ####
Gilbert leaned against the table in the meeting room, staring up at the white ceiling. His brother had brought him here in the hope he'd talk to someone, even annoy them, just to show some sign of life he was clearly lacking at the moment. Unfortunately for Ludwig he had decided to walk in hours late for the meeting; maybe on purpose, maybe not. No one would have talked to him anyway. The last time he'd seen most of them was when he was on his killing spree. He didn't care. It wasn't like it really mattered anyway, so...
-sinking his nails into soft flesh, feeling it rip under his grip-
He cracked his neck to the side, feeling the muscles relax a little. Not that he was actually relaxing, of course. There was nothing to be relaxed about, and yet nothing to be tense about either. He didn't need any emotions. Emotions led to the madness bubbling under the surface of his body, running through his veins and burning him from the inside. All he needed was the cold, the cold of his land that didn't exist and the cold settling inside of his heart.
-the screams of the soldiers as he ripped them apart, not a nation not a country not a person but a godforsaken motherfucking demon jesus christ makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop-
No.
"No!"
He dropped to his knees bonelessly, his hands fisting in his hair and tugging hard, trying to use the pain to stop the blast of emotions leaking out. An out-of-character choking sound escaped him as he ripped at the skin of his neck. Maybe if he died it would stop, he'd stop feeling this horrible, burning sensation. With that last, desperate thought fixiated in his shredded mind, he scratched at his chest, glad for once he hadn't worn his heavy uniform and had decided to go casual with jeans and a shirt, because getting them off would have taken far too long and he just wanted to end it all now-
"Gilbert, what are you doing?!"
-acidic green eyes, beautiful, clouded with fear as his hands tightened around the shorter blonde's neck and it was /hurting him/ so why wasn't he stopping oh god no not him please anyone but arthur please-
"Go away," he managed to choke out, curling up on himself on the scratchy carpet, his eyes closed. That voice- there was no way it was who it sounded like. It was impossible, it must be an illusion, surely. He heard the rustling of someone kneeling beside him, could feel calm radiating from them, which was strange because who could possibly be calm while sitting next to a fucking psycho and were they stupid? His reputation was everywhere now, and even the oceanic countries like Kaelin knew of him. He could hurt them.
"No."
The flat denial had him almost looking up, eyes widening without thinking, basically forcing himself not to look by digging his nails into the skin of his wrists. The other shifted, obviously uncomfortable with this seating arrangement, and it was exhilarating because he could smell the scent of rain and tea and it was so painfully familiar he could feel his heart constricting. He gritted his teeth, ripping at his hair again, trying to cause pain, damage, anything.
-blonde hair blue eyes francis he didn't want them near each other arthur was getting hurt why was arthur hurt it was because of him and he didn't know-
"Why?!"
"Because, git, I wanted to talk to you."
That goddamn attractive voice was unmistakable. A rasping laugh escaped him as his body was wracked with involuntary shudders. A hand touched his back as if to steady him, and he flinched away from it violently, tearing his burning gaze from the floor. Without thinking, their eyes met as he lifted his head. Dark red to forest green clashed and met, all at once.
-"I love you, Gilbert,"
he said that but he didn't mean it he couldn't mean it he loved francis didn't he and this couldn't be happening-
Arthur's expression was surprised too, but there was another layer to it, some kind of worry or sympathy that had his chest aching all over again. No. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Gilbert's gaze shut down again and he stared at the carpet blankly, trying to keep his emotions away desperately as he could feel the Brit shifting closer. Then slightly cold hands were on him, brushing across his face and tilting it so he had to look at Arthur again.
"It's okay, Gilbert."
-dear god francis was going to skin him alive and really he wouldn't mind because this was a terrible idea-
Their lips touched fleetingly, it was over in a second, and immediately the Prussian shifted away, gauging the other's expression with a guarded one of his own. Arthur was clearly trying to look expressionless, but a tiny smile was breaking through the blank wall. And somehow, through that tiny smile, Gilbert found himself smiling back, a broken laugh escaping his lips. Arthur's smile reached his eyes and he pulled the Prussian closer by the collar of his shirt, causing the other to fall into his lap.
-promising to save him from the darkness but was it worth it what if arthur got hurt-
"You're beautiful."
"I'm broken."
"Maybe that's part of the charm," Arthur replied.
"Francis is going to kill me for being near you the moment I manage to show up at a meeting."
"Eh. He can suck it up, he's not my father."
"Damn straight."
Arthur laughed as well, except his laugh was melodic, free somehow as he shifted himself so he could reach Gilbert's lips easily. The electricity sparked between them, promises of healing, as they rediscovered each other. Gilbert's grip tightened fractionally on the Brit's arm where he was touching him, and he smiled against the other's neck. He wasn't sure why, but...this was how they were. They could fix each other if they tried.
It was possible.