A Little 'Exercise' Never Hurt

Dr. McKay sighed. How the hell do I get myself into these situations? He rolled his eyes. Sheppard. Rodney admitted to himself that he'd gone a little overboard. He'd teased the Major mercilessly when he discovered the mystery woman that he'd been daydreaming about for the past few months was Teyla. John and Teyla. He hadn't truly believed it until he saw them kissing in the infirmary. To him it just didn't make any sense. McKay realized that they had a special friendship, but he never suspected a romance. Yeah, they were both fighters, but Teyla was so serious and Sheppard, wasn't. McKay snorted. Besides, she was way too hot for him.

"Ssshhh."

He looked at Dr. Zelenka. The two stood inches away from each other. They were squeezed inside of a small compartment behind the wall paneling. Both looked at the panel when they heard two faint clicks. McKay closed his eye, hoping that they wouldn't be detected.

Two days earlier…….

Drs. McKay, Beckett, Major Sheppard, and Lt Ford sat around the table. Sheppard and Ford stared at McKay in amazement, while Beckett laughed at McKay's outrage.

"Is it so difficult for you to believe I played a sport in high school?"

McKay demanded.

Sheppard and Ford looked at each other, and then turned back to McKay.

"Yes." They both replied.

"Unless chess is now considered a sport."

Sheppard looked at Ford, who shrugged.

"I'll have you know that I am very good at hockey." McKay yelled.

Sheppard empathized.

"Of course Rodney. I'm sure you're very……graceful."

Ford and Beckett snickered.

McKay rolled his eyes.

"I can be just athletic as the next man."

Sheppard raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really."

McKay folded his arms across his chest.

"Really. Besides, any idiot can use their brawn, but when you add intelligence to the equation the possibilities are endless."

"Umm hmm."

Sheppard looked at McKay. He'd been ragging him about Teyla for the last month; plucking Sheppard's last nerve. He'd like nothing better than to punch him in the throat for a couple of hours of peace and quiet, but another idea had just come to him. It was time to take the mighty McKay down a peg or two.

"You know Rodney, I've been thinking."

McKay smirked.

Sheppard grinned.

"All of this talk of brain and brawn has given me an idea. We're having a military operations exercise in a couple of days. I was trying to decide who should play the role of the bad guy and I think it should be you."

McKay frowned.

"Are you kidding? With life sign detectors it would be a matter of minutes before they had me cornered in a room."

Sheppard shook his head.

"Not this time. This exercise will be 'back to basics'. No Ancient devices, just our regular gear. This exercise is to see how well we would function without the Ancient technology. You and Zelenka know this city like the back of your hands. You have the brains, the skills, and the brawn to stay one step ahead anyone pursuing you. You'd be the perfect villain."

McKay knotted his brow, deep in thought. Dr. Beckett looked from Sheppard to McKay.

"Rodney! You can't seriously be considering this?"

Sheppard smiled.

"Rodney if you're afraid that we'll out smart you, I understand."

Outsmart him! That wasn't possible.

McKay retuned Sheppard's smile.

"Oh no Major, I'd be more than happy to participate in your little exercise. I could use an extra day off."

McKay sighed. Okay so maybe he shouldn't have said that. But how was he to know that nearly half of the military personnel would be participating in this 'little' exercise. Ten teams. Ten; had shown up for this morning's briefing. Sheppard had quickly gone over the purpose of the exercise, the designated play areas, weapons, and rules of engagement. After that he and Zelenka were given thirty minutes to lose themselves in the city, while the teams discussed strategy. Which brought him back to his current situation; or rather their current situation. Even though Zelenka wasn't speaking to him, they were still on the same team.
Divide…..

Sheppard heard the two faint clicks on his radio. He sent two clicks back signaling that it was clear to talk.

"Sir?"

It was Ford.

"Sheppard here."

"We've completed the sweeps of the east wing. No signs of the targets."

Sheppard glanced at the panel behind which the two scientists were hiding. It was too soon. They'd only been searching for about an hour and they'd already found their targets. It hadn't been difficult, they'd simply followed the sound of McKay's whining. He smiled deciding not to spring the trap just yet. They deserved a little more playtime.

"Copy that Lieutenant. Proceed south."

"Yes sir. Any signs of the targets?"

"No. I think they may have split up. Harder to track that way. I know I'd do it."

"Copy that, Ford out."

Sheppard lead his team out of the room. They continued sweeps of the west wing. He smirked. He'd just given McKay a freebie. From now on, it would be every man for himself.

"What is the Major doing?"

Dr. Weir demanded.

"He had them right where he wanted them. How could he just walk away like that?"

Sgt. Bates turned from the large screen displaying the life signs of the exercise participants. He looked at Weir.

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Excuse me?"

"They've only been out there for an hour. Why not enjoy the chase? Play a few mind games. See how far you can push your opponent."

"Sgt., I don't think the Major-."

"Ma'am. The Major and I my not see eye to eye on everything, but when it comes to military tactics our thoughts can be disturbingly similar. Trust me. He's playing a game. First divide, and then concur."

Weir's brow knotted in confusion. She looked around the room at the personnel monitoring the status of the exercise; many of them were military. She listened as they debated the different strategies of how to take down the two 'targets'. She shook her head. It was another of the many things that she would never be able to understand about the military. How does one flip a switch in their head turning people into targets; making lives expendable? How does one enjoy the chase? She sighed. Weir nodded at Sgt. Bates, and returned to her office.

As the security tea exited the room McKay and Zelenka sighed in relief. Sliding the panel to the side they stepped from their hiding place.

"Maybe he's right."

McKay turned.

"About what?"

"Us splitting up. We'd be harder to track."

McKay sighed. He knew Zelenka was still upset with him for volunteering him for this exercise, but he hadn't wanted to do it alone.

"I think we should stay together. After all two brains are better than one."

"Don't you mean one and a half?"

"What?"

"I distinctly remember you telling me, on a number of occasions, that I only possessed half a brain."

McKay winced. Of course he'd have to think of that now!

"Look, if you want to leave, go right ahead. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

Please don't go. Please don't go. Please don't go. Damn!

McKay watched Zelenka's retreating figure disappear around the corner. He was alone.

And Concur.

McKay crept silently down the corridor. His heart was pounding. He'd had a very close call. He'd decided to go up another level, leaving this floor to Zelenka, only to discover a security team waiting at the transporter. He hadn't expected that. McKay had actually walked down the middle of the corridor in plain sight. He'd believed that all the teams were doing sweeps of the north and south sections of the floor. Sheppard and his team should have all ready completed their sweeps of this area. McKay had received a shock when he rounded the corner and found three soldiers guarding the door. He'd jumped back just in time to miss being detected and ran the other way. He needed shelter. Quick. McKay considered his options. Something told him that the wall panels weren't such a great idea and now he had to cross out the option of transporting to another floor. He could only run around in the corridors for so long before he was cornered. So what else? McKay paused, tilted his head back and rested against the wall. He glanced up. The air vent.

"RODNEY!"

McKay froze. It was Zelenka and it didn't sound good. Scrambling as fast as he could, he moved to the vent that over looked the room below. He could hear footsteps, they were running.

"RODNEY! HELP!"

They were coming closer. McKay watched in horror as Zelenka burst into the room. He was soon followed by four Marines. Zelenka saw something at the other end of the room that made him grind to a halt, but it was too late. Two of the Marines jumped him from behind. They went down, hard. Zelenka kicked, twisted, and screamed but it was no use. They had him.

Sheppard walked into the room. He and Ford met where Zelenka lay on the floor. They watched as the two Marines bond his hands and feet and turned him to his side.

"Dr. Zelenka, are you okay?"

He didn't get an answer. Not one that he could translate. Zelenka lay on the floor staring at the ceiling, muttering in Czech. Sheppard followed his gaze, noting the air vent in the ceiling. He saw a small flicker of movement. Slowly, he smiled.

Ford watched as Zelenka was half dragged, half carried from the room. He turned to commanding officer.

"Well sir, one down, one to go."

Sheppard turned to him and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah."

McKay nearly fainted with relief when the teams left. For a moment he thought that he'd been discovered, but Sheppard hadn't sounded that alarm. He'd merely smiled gleefully from his first catch. What the hell have I gotten myself into? They were animals! Unnecessary roughness didn't begin to describe what they had done to Zelenka. And he was next. Zelenka's fall flashed before his eyes. He winced. McKay wanted out, but there was no way he was going to turn himself in to one of the security teams. No way! But what could he do?
"Elizabeth?"

Weir jumped in surprise. She'd been reading a report when someone whispered her name. She glanced around the room.

"Elizabeth?"

Weir tapped her ear communicator.

"Rodney?"

"You've got to end the exercise. They're animals! Help me, before they break something that Carson won't be able to fix!"

Sheppard gritted his teeth and activated his communicator.

"Rodney? What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm saving myself, that's what I'm doing. You people are crazy! Elizabeth, you have to help me!"

"All teams, this is Sheppard. Converge on the west wing. I repeat, converge on the west wing."

Sheppard back tracked, Ford and their security teams hot on his tail.

McKay was near hysterical. He realized that his hiding space had been compromised so he ran, ran for his life. They were coming, all of them. He could hear the footsteps pounding behind him. They were getting close. Closer. McKay was approaching a corner. He took a quick glance over his shoulder and then turned.

"Medic!"

McKay could hear a low buzzing sound. He tried to move his head, but stopped as a sharp pain sliced across his face. He moaned.

"Rodney, its Carson. Can you see me?"

McKay opened his right eye, but his left one felt heavy.

"No, don't try to talk, just hold up one finger for yes and two for no. Okay?"

He held up a finger. McKay glanced around the room, it was the infirmary. He could see Weir, Sheppard, Teyla, and Ford standing to his right.

"Wha-?"

He tensed as another pain shot through his face.

"Rodney, don't talk."

"Rodney?"

Sheppard leaned forward.

"You okay? Cause you look like shi-."

"John!"

Weir glared at him.

"Just tell him what happened."

"Oh yeah. Well, first you cried to Elizabeth like a little girl."

Someone snickered in the background.

"Then you ran and we pursued. You were going around the corner and looked back, then wham. Face first into the doorway; you were down for the count."

Dr. Zelenka chose that moment to appear. He greeted everyone and walked to McKay's bedside.

"I see you're finally awake. I'm sorry I couldn't have been here earlier, but hopefully this will make up for it."

Zelenka pulled a gift wrapped package from his pocket and handed it to McKay.

"I hope that it helps you get well soon."

McKay took the gift and ripped it open, he stared. It was a small mirror, but McKay could still see the huge purple horizontal bruise that covered his face. It began at his left eye, which was swollen shut, continued across his nose, and ended with an angry bruise on his lower right cheek. He glared at Zelenka, who smiled back.

"So, I hear you're quite the athlete."