27th octobre

Dear Diary,

I've never thought the day would come when I lose my mind and feel me so terrible.

Terrible, yes… but simultaneous happy.

Terrible 'cause I couldn't do anything against this change which happened with me and my world, … and happy… cause this change is so wonderful I don't think about changing it.

I don't joke. At present I have no sense for jokes… it sounds unbelievable, but it's true.

And all that because I have been falling in love. And that is nothing: it's a girl, on what I have a crush.

Yes, dear Diary, you've heard it right. A girl. A charmeful, sympathical, fantastic-looking girl.

It happened not far after fourteen o' clock. I went to Hay Lin's flat, the China restaurant „Silver Dragon", what is almost being my second home. Actually I wanted to ask her for helping me with homeworks, not more, but she apprehended that I had other problems, too.

„Come on, Irma!" she said, „you know you can tell me all and I won't laugh. What's your problem?"

I said nothing, but merely sighed.

„A boy?" I nodded. „A good-looking boy you really like?" I nodded more intensively. „A boy who never looked on you, though you have wished since very long times?" I nodded again, with low tears in the eye.

Hay Lins voice trembled with sorrows. „And it comes to light he has a girlfriend very long time, and that he has raised other girls hopes where was no hope?"

I nodded extremely, and my anger broke out. „It's Andrew Hornby, this… ass… this beast! I hate him! I hate him! I haaaate him!" I put my head on Hay Lin's shoulder and cried like mad. Each word Hay Lin had said was true. I have hoped for a lot of years that Andrew Hornby would notice me and ask me for a date. I was so angry when I remarked that he had only played with my hopes like he had done with hundred other girls.

It was at lunch recess few hours ago. He was talking with two boys from his class in front of his locker… while I sneaked nearer from behind to try speaking with him.

There were just two steps between me and the locker when my brave was sinking. I was like perified. I want to do anything, but I couldn't even move a finger, merely standing and looking on his back. So I decided to trip and fall next his feets.

He was talking along.

I moaned and handled my nose with calls of pain.

He didn't even glanced up.

So I stood up, farther on crying and moaning, but in this moment he turned to his locker… and opened its door abruptly. I crashed against with my face and broke almost the nose. Now he finally remarked that there was me... and what did he do? He and his shitty class mates laughed dirty, turned away and went towards the corridor... without a word of apologize. Now I had to cried really, but with quiet tears that were running hot and slowly about my red cheeks. But that wasn't all. At the other end of the corridor a tall, blond-curly girl was waiting. She run towards Andrew with an affected cry, huged him and began to break in a passion of tears. Between two sobs I could understand, her boyfriend had finished with her.

What for a hypocrite! Her name was Britanny Anderson, and she had every month a new boyfriend. Andrew should be her next. And this mean asshole was taken in by her silly cheat.

Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. It was Cassie Beringer, a school-famous cheerleader from the next form. Her face was serious and very woeful, but her eyes shined friendly when she said toneless: "I'm so sorry. I apologize about all for my boyfriend. Or better said, for my ex-boyfriend."

Boyfriend? Anyone hadn't ever aquainted, that Andrew Hornby had a girl, not even himself.

And here she stood: in one second an enemy and rival, in the next one a friend and ally who offered me a helping hand. I took it and stood up. Without looking behind me, the eyes tearless, I whispered "Thanks" to Cassie and went back to my class room while she stemped to her ex and scolded him in front of his friends and this bitch Britanny: "ANDREW HORNBY! You're the meanest ... selfishest ... and most nonsensitive scum - I EVER HAVE SEEN! You should blush to abase a little girl who really likes your... while you help somebody strange, who has no real problems, what every one know. But that's typical for you. You don't care about the feelings of your fellow men... or only from me. But that was enough! It's over - forever!" This words were the last I heard when I turned into my class room. One day before I had surely enjoyed the last sentence, but now... and in combination with the other words... I wished Andrew Hornby sits in the hell. At one of its hottest days.

But nevertheless... I couldn't avoid the hot tears of sadness, when I told Hay Lin about this bad treason.

"That's really hard," she remarked quietly and touched my hairs," but you must see the good side of this. Anytimes he would have surely shown, that he had a girlfriend. Now you have no pains of lovelorn, cause your opinion about him is turning into bad. And besides Cassie has made you're getting a revenge he won't forget so soon."

I sobbed: "B-but... he was the only boy I liked at this school!"

"You'll find a better one. I guess you have merely a little crush on him... an admiring, 'cause he was the best-looking guy of the school, no more. Actually you didn't know him in general. If you search better, you will find your Mr. Right, who is looking similar well... and has a better sense of humour."

I removed the tears from my eyes. "You... You're sure? And what will be if I don't find anyone... or... if I find him and he can't answer to my love?"

"Then... then..." Hay Lin was relapsing into silence. Then she sighed. "Sometimes the destiny choose very strange ways for our life. You surely have the luck finding a new, unusual way to your fortune. You must only recognize its if you meet." She gave me a long warm huge, which relaxed me and let me forget the cold hole in my heart. "And I know, you will do it!"

Few minutes later I left the restaurant and prepared me going at home. It was a long way from here to my home, so I crossed the street and turned eastwardly on the Arramond Alley.

The sky was dark and cloudy till deep over the tops of the skycrapers. Already soon it began raining, first low, then much more, until the air was filled by heavy water drops.

Only two seconds after his start the rain made me wet to the skin, but paradoxically it didn't care me. I enjoyed it. The cold drops, stroking my hot cheeks, cooled down my anger and refreshed my senses. My lovelorn was washed away on the sidewalk, if you depict symbolically.

I closed the eyes... and felt the beat of my heart rising, when it swelled to the size of a pumpkin. Very quiet I sighed... but loud enough to miss the bell of a bycicle.

"Watch out!" Tires were squeaking when they stopped their drive, and only scarce I managed to spring out of reach. I hit on the street with the heck foreward and became still wetter, if at all that was possible.

But this was irrelevant comparing with the wonder I would receive immediately afterwards. In front of my eyes, hinting the sweet face in the darkness of a hood and under saucy red hairs, was being a girl I never had seen before. Don't believe I know all girls who are walking through Heatherfield! But this specially girl... it was incomparable. The way the wet clothes clinged on her body... like she moving... her voice...

This voice... so quiet... so emotional... and melodical...

It was fighting against the noise of the rain, which was hitting on the ground, when she shouted: "Oh my godness... are you fine? Are you hurt?"

"N-No, no, no! I'm okay."

She put up from the bycicle and went toward me. "Excuse me, I shouldn't have to pull on the hood. My view was too closely so I noticed you too late."

"No, no, I' m guilt. That was stupid to close the eyes while I went over the street. It could happen all sort of things. No, I was the stupid one."

"Well, then anyone of us aren't guilt. Say... why have you closed the eyes?", the girl asked shyly.

"Oh...," I felt how I blushed. I thought about, what I could say to spare me a humiliation, but actually I didn't want to lie to her... not this girl. "Well, I enjoyed the rain. That's greepy, I know, but you must see it was so cool and pleasant... and I felt me bad, very bad."

The girl smiled, conscious of guilt feelings. "Sorry, but I can't understand. Rain is wet, cold and makes your sick. I would like to leave him better now than equal. And you think the same certainly."

She knelt before me and gave me the hand... and there I could see her eyes, hinting in the darkness of hood.

They were (and are still today) great, round, wonderfully pert and deep brown; a very special brown, full of verdure, but as cute and soft like the eyes of a rabbit. They looked a little bit like the eyes of Taranee, my new classmate, but these ones... were more lovely. These eyes were the most beautiful thing I ever had seen and I ever will see. No doubt!

I felt a kind of affection for them, you cannot compare with anything... they reminded me on... cacao.

I looked on this eyes like a hypnotist. But nevertheless I didn't forget such little things like 'speaking' works.

"Yes, you're right," I whispered impressed. "I've stopped you too long. Better, you go, or you will be sick."

"But... I cannot leave you here on the street. Come on, I will drive you home."

"Thanks, but I live on the eastern outskirts. That's too far away."

"Oh..." She broke the eye contact... too bad... really too bad. "My home is on the western outskirts. It's as far away from here than your one. So it makes no different."

"You're very friendly, but... if you want, you bring me to the mall, there I can call my parents and let them know I will come later."

"But... oh, okay," she said a bit... disappointed? I couldn't see it because she pulled on the hood deeper about her face. She seemed very shy and unsteady, I could feel that, she was... like a stranger.

"Are you new in town?" I asked friendly.

"Yes... I have moved with my mother to Heatherfield this morning. First we have lived in Fadden Hills," she said hesitantly. "Listen... I would love to speak with you, but..."

"Oh," I surprised. The rain hadn't stopped, of course. "Yes, we must go!"

She went to the bycicle, and I was cursing myself for my silly behaviour.

What for an impression she would get about me?

But then I let the cursing, followed the girl and sat on the pillion seat. When she felt my arms were laid around her hift she looked over the shoulder... and I became very suspense.

But she grinned: "You can hold on me harder. That will be a high-speed drive!"

I smiled and did what she suggested. "Okay, let's go!"

The girl must pedaled as strong than she could to move the old velo. My high weight didn't help her naturally, too. But even though this handicap we get a high velocity.

While the rain drops hit my face like bullets and my hairs were fluttered by the airstream, I watched my new friend with unhinted fascination. How she managed to control the handlebars and to watch out cars in this close rain... it was a quite simple thing, and however I was overfloaded by enthusiasm.

And the rain was no problem... I, for myself, looked through the water as easy as through glass, without breaking my view.

It didn't take long time to arrive at the shopping centre, and cause our high speed we became hardly wet... okay, no wetter we already were. The most stores were still opened so we bought two ices (I had strawberry and mint, she got citron and chocolate) and slendered through the different levels without any farther desires.

That means, Will (that's the name of my new friend) hadn't some ones.

While I had some, and not too few.

The whole time I was watching her lips, when they enclosed the ice cream and were cleaned with the tongue. I couldn't take away my eyes from them, irrelevant what I did to stop it. And for any reason I had the resistless desire to kiss them... to feel her lips on my own ones... to fight with her tongue... to overcome the few distance between us... my god, the imagination was terrible... and alluring together.

But I knew she would be against, and furthermore... why I should try it? She was a girl.

But soon I learned - and now it's safe to know- that's no apologize!

We looked a few to the fronts of the stores but there was nothing we wanted to buy. Therefore we went out, sat on a overroofed bench and talked together. Though I usually fall easy in talk, also with strange people, I must say Will was a great experience. She could be very charming and clever if she was trusting someone, and we laughed very often about our mutual jokes. So we saw the rain decreasing and the clouds turned from black to grey and finally to white. At last the sunbeams looked through the cloud roof and radiated on our faces, reflected in the large kelp-soiled puddles.

"Great, now I can bring you home," Will said happy.

I blushed. "Oh no, you have waste enough time with me. Your mother surely wonders where you are."

"No, time with you is no waste... besides she's on work," Will said a little bit sad. "Naturally she must work long because she's divorced and we have no much money to squander it... but we cope with expenses."

"You seem to be sad about it," I wondered.

Will sighed. "Sometimes I'm very alone. In the past my dad often worked at home and we could spent time together. We had a lot of fun, when he chased me through the whole flat... but that's a long time ago when I was nine. After that time my parents lived nearly parted and I was with my mum. First when I had become thirteen, they get divorced. At this time I've lost all my friends, and my mother wanted a bigger distance to him. So we decided moving here, to Heatherfield."

"And here you'll find new friends! I can help you. I know many girls... and some boys who're okay. Only a few days and you won't rescue yourself from peoples who search your ac-quain... who wanna get to know you."

Will blushed and whispered: "Thanks... many thanks... one friend more like you... would be enough! In truth... before I met you, I had hate this town with its eternal rain and the ugly grey skycrapers. But now I think I will survive here... for beginning." She looked onto me, near by tears, but I can't answer her look.

I was feeling so honoured and... greepy flattered by the way this impressionate eyes looks on me. But I knocked only on her shoulder. "You're welcome! I can't even imagine that a girl like you has no friends."

Will shaked the head woeful. "I'm not ever a good guy. Sometimes I have my dark sides... but believe me, you don't wanna know them."

"Why I don't?" I said in dark voice. "You don't know how strong the Dark Side of Force can be. Join to me, Will, and together- as sister and sister- we will rule over the galaxy."

We giggled aloud, and with a long gasp Will embraced me softly.

Full of inexplicable satisfaction I rubbed my cheek on her satiny hairs and smiled.

Then we remembered changing mobile phone numbers, stood up, said 'good bye'... and divide. Must break apart for lot of hours, I thought... and wondered me about. What for feelings were these ones?!

I can explain you, dear Diary.

When Will went to her velo and drives away, in direction of afternoon sun, I stood on the pavement and looked after her. And in this moment, when I saw her driving away, still the sweet smell of her hairs in my nose... I recognized that it was love!

I couldn't fight against... and I didn't want to do it, too.

And now, writing this to you, dear Diary, I have ceased fighting finally.

While our whole time together... until yet... my rising heart hasn't stopped beating so fast.

I can hardly wait to the next morning I will see her again.