"It's open!" Bonnie said as the knocking on her bedroom stopped. She was staring out at the window, the night sky shining with stars and the moon full, giving the dark world a bright night light.

Stranded, reaching out

I call your name but you're not around

I say your name but you're not around

She doesn't turn just yet, attention captivated by the stars that hung high in the sky. They were beautiful, she thought, absolutely stunning. It's only when she hears the slow, hesitant shuffling of feet on the floor does she throw a glance over her shoulder. Her eyes narrow at what she finds behind her.

Spinning around on the heels of her feet does she ask in accusing tone, "What do you want now, Damon?"

Standing there, only a mere eight feet away, was Damon. He was dressed in his usual dark jeans, ankle high boots, black leather jacket, and a gray Henley. His hair was beginning to grow out a little more, Bonnie noticed although she didn't care, and was hanging just above his startling blue eyes—and those eyes are what caught her attention the most.

They stood out, but not in a bad way. Damon's eyes demanded attention, much like himself. They usually held mischief, but right now, all that was shown was remorse. Guilt. Everything he wanted to say but couldn't. And Bonnie hated that she could read this man like he was a goddamn book; a book that's been sitting on her bookcase for years, read through with the corners folded, pages torn slightly at the seam, and waiting patiently for her to pick up for one last look-through.

A minute had passed since Bonnie has asked her question, and although she was usually a patient person, she didn't feel like wasting her time if all Damon was going to do was stand there and stare at her, mouth opening and closing like a fish. And right as she's about to tell him to leave, he opens his mouth.

"I-I wanted to talk," he stutters, eyebrows scrunch together in worry. Bonnie wasn't sure what he had so much to worry about, but even the look on Damon's face was making her concerned.

"You want to talk?" She asks, raising a curious brow at him and he nods, looking like a child who was waiting for a scolding. But luckily for him, Bonnie wasn't in the mood. "Fine. Then talk."

And then, just like that, Damon's mouth snaps shut. His shoulders slouch and his head droops, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. He loses all his courage, the words getting trapped in his throat, making it hard to breathe. It didn't help that while what he wanted to say floated around in his mind instead of coming out to be heard, guilt weighed down on him. He'd spent the last twenty minutes—more like the entirety of the two weeks since he's been back in Bonnie's life (or rather, standing outside of it with his face pressed up against the glass, peering in)—building his confidence. Thinking that maybe, just maybe, this would be the time he finally gets it right.

But as he stood there, staring at her, he wasn't so sure of himself. Of the plan. On what he was going to say. Or pretty much anything. Because as he stared at Bonnie all he thought of was how much of a screw-up he is. Of that night three years ago when he locked himself up in that coffin, deciding to desiccate, and the only thing that ran through his head was the image of her crying, telling him he hurt her. That his decision—the one he thought would protect her, keep her safe—had done more harm than good.

Because all he, Damon Salvatore, was good at, was destroying the people he cared about the most. He was nothing but destruction. And he threw a wrecking ball straight through his salvation.

"Well, are you going to stand there all day or are you actually going to say something?"

Bonnie's comment has his head shooting up, blue eyes locking with her brown ones, her voice making him come back to reality. Damon takes a few more seconds to just...stare—to analyze her face, the way her shoulder length hair shown in the moonlight coming through the window behind her, and her beautiful brown eyes that deceived the angriness that had set in her facial features.

"I...um...yeah," he mumbles out stupidly, mentally facepalming himself in the face. "I-I just wanted to say that I am sorry for what I did. And that I never meant to...hurt you."

Bonnie bites the instead of her cheek, taking a second to think of what she was going to say before responding. "But you did—you hurt me, Damon. I-I cared about you more than anyone else ever did. We literally went through hell together, and you threw it all away for her! You ruined us! You. Ruined. Me!"

I think I'm losing my mind now
It's in my head, darling I hope
That you'll be here, when I need you the most
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down

She hadn't meant for her voice to get louder. To explode on him like that. She didn't want to seem weak—she didn't want Damon to see how vulnerable she really was. He didn't get to see her cry. Not anymore.

"I know!" Damon cries back, arms thrown out and a desperate look on his face. "...I know I hurt you, Bonnie, and I wish I could go back in time and take back what I did to you—what I did to Stefan, to everyone—but I can't. I can't do that. I know you...cared about me. But I did it all to protect you, to keep you safe. I locked myself away in that coffin—"

"—To protect me?" She cuts him off, finishing his sentence for him. "Yeah, I got that part. But you also did so you wouldn't have to see me die! But guess what Damon, I'm dying right now and you're going to see it! You might as well kill me right now! So, don't give me that 'I was trying to protect you Bonnie' crap because we all know you did it for Elena!"

R-r-running out of time
I really thought you were on my side
But now there's nobody by my side

At this Damon shakes his head, frustrated. "No, Bonnie. That is where you are wrong. I didn't do if for Elena. I did for you! And if you only let me finish, I was going to say: I locked myself in that coffin so you wouldn't have to keep fixing my mistake; so that you wouldn't have to put your life on the line to fix those mistakes! I didn't want you to have to keep saving me."

"Y-You're lying," Bonnie stutters, eyes stinging with tears that suddenly cloud over her vision. He's lying. He has to be. She didn't believe him. When Damon takes a few brave steps forward, she steps backward, she pushing his out-stretched hand away, screaming, "NO! You don't get to do that. Not anymore." She lets out a shaky sigh, lips quivering and hands shaking by her sides. Bonnie didn't understand. Her brain couldn't wrap around why he'd care about her after what he had done to her. "Don't come near me." She tells him and Damon steps back.

He doesn't care about her.

"You don't care about me."

Damon lets out a humorless chuckle, questioning, "Now, if I didn't care about you, Bon-Bon, why would I'd be trying to save your life?"

Bon-Bon. Bonnie had heard that nickname in years. The tears that had been drying spill over and slip down her cheeks. She hated this. She hated how he made her feel. But she couldn't find it in herself to hate Damon. Because she couldn't. Because a little voice in her head told her that he telling the truth. But Bonnie just couldn't believe him. Because what if she believes him and forgives him and he runs off and disappears and she never sees him again? What if she forgives him and she just falls back in pieces?

Oh, fuck this! Fuck Damon Salvatore! Fuck the pills that are killing her! AND FUCK EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN!

"You don't care about me," she says again, adding, "You're trying to save me because you feel guilty about leaving me. The only reason you're doing anything to help me is so you can redeem yourself."

"You're right, Bon-Bon," Damon nods, a sad smile spreading across his face, "I feel so fucking guilty about leaving you that the only way to make myself feel better is to save your life. And yeah, I owe you a few to many for saving my ass. The way I could ever get you to forgive me is to save your life like Prince Charming. But we both know I'm no prince. But, unlike you Bonnie, you are and will always be my best friend. Even if I'm not yours. Because, yes, I screwed up. I apologized for that. I'm owning up to my mistakes. I'm doing everything I can to get my best friend back because I miss her! I miss you, Bonnie. And do you know what best friends do? They argue; they fight; they make mistakes. And me leaving you will always be my biggest regret. But if you think for one second that I don't care about you, then that's your mistake. Because I do. Because, even though my decision to desiccate hurt you, it was keeping you safe from me. I was protecting you and it backfired. But me wanting to save you has nothing do with wanting my best friend back. You don't deserve to die Bonnie. Not when you have a whole life ahead of you. So, you can love me or resent me, but you're stuck with me."

Bonnie's breath hitches, but she's at a loss for words.

'You can love me or resent me, but you're stuck with me', 'You're my best friend and if anything ever happened to you, I'd lose my mind.'

I need you, I need you, I need you right now
Yeah, I need you right now
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down

She wipes the tears away, but they just keeping coming, just as Damon says, "I won't let you die, Bonnie. Not like this. Not at all. I promise you that—I owe you that much. I will never let you down ever again. And that's a promise—and we both know, when I make a promise, I always keep it."