Writer's Note: I would like to dedicate this fic to Rieth, who I always see supporting me here and on . It's greatly appreciated, and I thank you. ^_^

The Journal of a Billygoat

Basket, it turned out, was a colicky baby. She was healthy - it didn't hurt her anymore than it would any other baby - but little Bass certainly acted as if it did. She did have two rather vocal mothers, and it showed every time she was displeased.

They did find an odd soother of her woes, however, in the form of a book.

Alphys was pacing with Basket as she screamed, her eyes dark and her jaw set. Undyne was lying on their bed, arms over her face, barely able to take it. She'd been crying for an hour, now, and it was deep into the night. They'd tried everything: if she was hungry, needed changing, needed burping, wanted to be sung to - everything, with no improvement.

"I'm gonna go crazy!" Undyne admitted over Bass's yelling. "Or start screaming along with her!"

"No, please don't do that, please," said Alphys tiredly. "Try distractions? Maybe read something? Just anything but screaming, please!"

"Reading? Sure, I can read something. Requests?"

"I don't care, it can be a shampoo bottle, love, just anything!"

Undyne thought about it, then suddenly smiled. She sat up, opened the beside table drawer, and pulled out an old small notebook. "This?"

Alphys smiled. "Yes," she agreed, switching arms with Basket. "From anywhere, please."

Undyne smiled wider and opened it. Its pages were well-worn, meant only for one set of hands but had seen at least five. Within it was neat and tidy but clearly young penmanship. Undyne found a favourite passage, cleared her throat, and pitched her voice loud enough over Basket's so that Alphys could hear.

"'Howdy!'" she began. "'Today was a lovely day, despite the rain. I went to magic class and met up with her again. She, I think, was happy to see me. I think? I wonder if she'd mind if I called her Tori? She's so nice, despite her sarcasm, and she really knows her fire. I really like her. I hope she'll like me someday, the same way. She's really nifty. Tomorrow is another day, probably just as good, especially if I can get closer to Toriel. Tori. Yes, I like that.'"

Alphys snorted, unable to help it. Undyne also laughed. "What a nerd!" she cried. "I always forget!"

She went on. "'Howdy! Today was a lovely day! I called her Tori today, as casually as I could, and I swear she blushed! It seemed as if she liked it. She didn't protest, but didn't say anything, either. I'm going to assume she liked it. In class we learnt how to summon chains of fire today, and Tori was my partner again. She was amazing at it, but I kept goofing up - I wanted to watch her and didn't pay attention to what I was doing. She's so skilled, it's neato. I wonder if she can tell I like her?'"

For a moment, something was off. They couldn't place it right away, but then Alphys looked down at Basket and realised what it was: Basket, herself. She was still making some noise, but it was gurgling, not screaming. "It's working!" she said, surprised. "Keep going!"

Undyne grinned at that. "'Howdy! Today was just spiffy! We managed to finally finish learning how to make spirals! Tori was amazing as usual. She always makes it look so easy. And she always looks like she's having the best time, as if it's fun. Well, it is, but only with her. She also called me Gorey today! I know I made a dink of myself when she said it, but I know she knew I liked it. And I do! But it always makes me feel so silly!"

Alphys was giggling; that was one of her favourite entries. Undyne snorted this time, especially at the word 'dink'. And Bass? Basket was actually listening, her eyes, still full, shifting between her mothers each time they spoke or laughed - especially when they laughed.

Alphys decided this was a good sign and very slowly walked over to the bed, sat down, and leaned back against her pillows with Basket in her arms. When there was no protest, Alphys grinned. "It looks like she has similar tastes as we do," she said fondly, as two light green hands reached out and tried to grab the journal from Undyne. "Quick, go on, before she starts up again?"

Undyne flipped forward a bunch of pages and continued. "'Howdy! I can barely believe I get to write this, but she kissed me! Tori kissed me! we went for a walk tonight to watch the moonrise, and when it was finally in view, she leaned close and kissed, right on the mouth! I was so surprised I couldn't even move. Then I blew it. I accidentally thanked her! I'm such a dingus! I'm so lucky she took it as well as she did. I deserved to be set on fire! But instead she just kissed me again! Ah, I can't help it! I adore her! I asked her then and there to court, and she actually said yes! This is the best day ever!'"

Both Undyne and Alphys laughed, Undyne barely able to finish the sentence before doing so. Basket was looking actually happy, her face now pink instead of red and no longer streaked with fresh tears. One hand clutched at Alphys's shirt, the other still reaching for the journal - or more likely Undyne.

"'Howdy!'" she continued, noticing her captive audience. "'Today was okay. I keep wondering, will she ever see me as more than just a goof? I keep messing up, but she keeps coming back, and seems to want to be with me. Courting her is a dream, she's a dream. I'm pretty sure I love her. I wonder if Father will let me marry her?'"

"He really hasn't changed when it comes to Toriel," Alphys observed, stroking Basket's wispy hair gently, as she listened, hoping to keep her calm - which worked. "If anything, it's gotten worse."

"They're gross," Undyne agreed, completely missing the irony of how she was quite similar when it came to showing her own affection. She skipped ahead, about two-thirds in, and went on.

"'Howdy! Today was frustrating. I asked Father, finally, and he said that he'd think about it. Tori wants to get married, now, too, which is amazing, but if Father says no, we both suffer. She's not royalty, but she's still noble. I hope that's enough. The way she talks, the way she yells, the way she just looks at me... I already feel as if she were Queen - of my heart!'"

When Undyne made gagging noises, Alphys laughed. "I can relate," she admitted, glancing at Undyne with a small smile. Undyne smiled back, touching her cheek gently, before looking down at Basket. "Hey, look." Alphys did, and saw that Basket was actually now nodding off. With much relief, Alphys stood up and placed her back in her bassinet, gave her a gentle kiss, then returned to bed.

"I can't believe that worked. That's hilarious," Undyne admitted with a grin. "And a relief. We have to remember that for later."

Alphys leaned on her tiredly. "Agreed." Undyne curled beside her and, within moments, both were sleeping heavily, just like their daughter.

"Alphys," Undyne sighed, her turn at the helm of her screaming daughter. It had been almost two hours. "I think we have to. Bring it out again."

Alphys was already reaching for the journal. "Got it. Come sit."

Undyne did, holding Basket close and rubbing her back, rocking her in place. When it came to holding, Undyne loved it above anything else, and even a crying Basket was still wonderful to hold.

"'Howdy!'" Alphys began, starting closer to the beginning. "'Mother found out I was writing in this, so she wants to read it, too. So she does. Hi, Mother!'"

"Oh, god. I forgot about that!" Undyne laughed. "I wonder for how long?"

During the reading, Basket's crying was still shrill, but she seemed to quiet it, just a little. At the sound of Alphys's voice and Undyne's laughter, she seemed to want to listen and cry at once, hence the quieter sound.

"'Howdy!'" Alphys continued with a smile, her free hand on Basket's small head. "'Today we had leeks! I love leeks! Nothing in the world is better than leeks!'"

Undyne laughed again. "Oh, what a weenie!" Basket's cries were now small whimpers, and she was eyeing Alphys as she spoke. Alphys flipped forward some more before continuing.

"'Howdy! Today I met this girl in magic class. She seemed confused that fire was my element. Why? I like fire. Not in a weird way - I just like it. And so does she, and she's the same type of monster as me, so I don't get it. Not everyone has to be fiery to like fire!'" Alphys grinned. "I love imagining Toriel as a young hothead," she admitted.

Undyne grinned, then adjusted Basket in her arms so that she could look at Alphys easier, now quiet but also wide awake. "Go on, go on," she urged, so Alphys did. She flipped ahead again.

"'Howdy! Tori and I went to talk to her parents about our courtship. They're very nice, though her father is intimidating. He called me a whelp! I don't know what to think of that. Tori laughed when she heard it. Am I missing something? I think I'm pretty smart for my age. I'm not a whelp!'"

"He is smart, yes," Alphys agreed, flipping ahead again. "But most people mistaken his occasional hesitation with idiocy; he's slow because he needs to go back to stay at their pace, so that they can catch up with him."

"I agree," Undyne nodded, holding Basket closer to her, noticing that Basket was getting sleepy. "He's really smart. I hate it when people think he's stupid."

"Me too. Shall I go on?" Alphys wondered, noticing their daughter's now-sleepy demeanour. When she gently brushed a finger over Basket's cheek, it got grabbed and squeezed with a noise of content.

"Nah," Undyne replied. "Let's just try to get some sleep, now." Minutes later, when she put Basket in her bassinet, she was already asleep.

Once, when Asgore and Toriel were over for a visit, Alphys went on autopilot when Basket appeared to begin her usual state of fuss. Undyne had been pacing for twenty minutes when Alphys ran to get the journal, the volume of Basket's crying causing her to not only rush, but forget her company.

The Dreemurrs watched as Alphys matched Undyne's pacing and and started reading from the journal immediately, shocking both of them for different reasons. Toriel was surprised, but with amusement. Asgore was horrified; he'd not only forgotten that he no longer had it, but had also forgotten just how many people had already read it.

"'Howdy!'" Alphys began hurriedly, speaking loud so that Basket could hear. "'Today I sat with Tori at lunch-,'"

"Uh, Alphys?" Asgore exclaimed. "Can you please-?"

"Sh!" Toriel hissed at him. "Don't disturb them; they need to calm her down!"

"'-and she had snail pie. When she told me she made it. I was - and still am - so amazed! I got to try some, and it's the the best! She seemed happy that I liked it.'"

Toriel laughed, surprising the. "Oh, Gorey, I remember that!" she said softly to him, as Alphys continued. "I remember bragging about that pie, and when you like it, I was over the moon!"

Asgore blinked at her now, distracted. "So you were happy I liked it!" he cried, smiling.

"You silly goat," Toriel replied. "Of course I was!"

"'Howdy!'" Alphys went on; by now Basket was calming down, and Undyne began to slow in her pacing. "'Today something magical happened, and not in class. Tori told me she loved me. She loves me. I still can't believe this. Will writing it make it any less true? How can she even say it so easily? When I said back, it took me forever! She's so amazing.'"

Toriel's eyes softened, and she grabbed his hand into hers, surprising him. She looked up at him, and Asgore saw that love still there deep within.

"Okay." Alphys closed the book and took Basket into her arms. "I'll go feed her, and you stay here while I-,"

"Alphys, you can feed her here, dear," Toriel called her back, confusing her for a moment, before she looked relieved and came back with Undyne to the living room. Alphys sat in the chair and did just that. Asgore barely reacted; between seeing Toriel and seeing his own daughter do it, it wasn't anything but normal to him. Alphys was so relieved by this that it showed. She was so used to having to leave for the sake of politeness for most people, especially in public. Asgore looked her right in the eye and smiled warmly, and she felt instantly better, returning it.

Undyne sat beside Asgore. "Phew," she sighed, closing her eye and rubbing her forehead. "Sorry. Colic."

"I see that, but..." Asgore frowned at her. "Why are you using that to calm her?"

Alphys blinked, looking down at Basket to avoid having to answer. Undyne opened her eye and smiled, embarrassed. "Sorry. We couldn't find anything else that worked."

"And we t-tried everything!" Alphys added. "I-it was the only thing that worked!"

"I didn't even know you still had it," Asgore admitted. "I'd forgotten. Now I wish I hadn't."

"Gorey..." Toriel sighed, squeezing his hand. "Relax. It's just a journal."

"Toriel, have you read it?" Undyne wondered with a grin.

Toriel shook her head, rolling her eyes. "I'm the only one, apparently. And I'm missing out, I see."

Alphys was scarlet, her head lowered and her glasses fogged up. Undyne was blushing despite the grin, which did fade a bit. "Asgore, I'm sorry." She grabbed it and held it out to him. "Here."

"No," he said, surprising himself as well as them. "It's obvious you both need it, and I know you've both already read it, anyway. If it helps you, then it's okay." He smiled a bit. "Plus, it was a long time ago. If Bass enjoys it, then there's no harm done."

Undyne held the journal out, still. "Really? You don't mind?" she asked, looking doubtful.

"No, not at all." He paused. "But I do wonder what it is about it that she enjoys so much."

"Damned if I know," Undyne admitted, watching her wife carefully burp their daughter with a smile. "If I did, I'd bottle and sell it."

Toriel grinned, now. "You can't, dear. It varies by child. It's not the journal, ladies, but both of you and your reactions to it."

Alphys stared at her, still patting Basket's back gently. "What do you mean?"

"You both laugh when you read it, as well as discuss it. The sound of your voices calm her, because when she's colicky, she only hears tension from you when she is, and thus associates calm voices with her own calm," Toriel explained. "For Asriel, it was singing. Nothing but singing." Asgore chuckled, nodding. "Even if it was out of tune, he didn't care; he wanted singing."

"So we could be reading anything and she'd love it?" Alphys wondered. When Toriel nodded, Alphys met Undyne's gaze and nodded, and Undyne again waved the journal at Asgore. This time, he took it. Undyne was staring at him meaningfully, her eye going to Toriel before going back to him. He swallowed, then nodded, pocketing the book and giving Toriel's hand a squeeze.

"Thank you," he said honestly.

"Thank you!" Undyne replied with a wide grin. "That journal was years of amusement."

When Basket finally burped, Alphys held her close, smiling. "I'm glad it wasn't the journal that calmed her," she admitted. "There are so many other things I'd love to read to her!"

Undyne smirked, her eye on her wife, already knowing the type of books that Alphys would read to Basket - and that they'd never run out of material. "Ah," she said. "Basket will also be a nerd."

Alphys grinned back at her. "Yes, because both of her mothers are," she shot back. Undyne laughed, holding up her hands in surrender; she couldn't deny it, after all (and that night, it was Undyne who chose the series to read - her favourite).

When they got home, Asgore turned to Toriel and said, rather shyly, "Tori... would you like to read it?"

"Yes," Toriel agreed, placing a hand to his cheek. "But only if you read it to me, Gorey."

With a smile, he agreed.

The End