The Perfect Way to Shut Someone Up

Summary: What can Yuffie do to shut Riku up? But Riku knows. The all–knowing Riku knows the PERFECT way to shut a guy up. Will Yuffie be willing to shut Riku up that badly? Oneshot Yuriku

Disclaimer: I do not own the KH characters. So don't tease me. pouts like Sora

On with the story—

Yuffie looked over at Riku, who was not noticing that Yuffie was not listening to his interminable, endless, pointless jabbering.

(Yuffie POV)

I had a pretty good afternoon… I managed to avoid Squallie's gunblade when I called him Squallie… but who the hell calls him Leon Leonhart? Huh? And he says HE'S the logical one. Hmph. I asked Cloud about it… and he doesn't agree. He thinks LE ON is better. I honestly think he said that cause he was not armed and Squall was standing about... hm… about like 1 inch away. I think poor spiky-assed hair Cloud was intimidated. Which is pretty funny… considering Cloud is about 2 inches taller than Squallie…

I had a good argument with Sora too, even IF it was rather pointless… about which was better: Chocolate or sleep. I said with chocolate, you don't need sleep… And He said chocolate was only a one-time thing, and sleep was better … psh. People these days.

I heard the latest gossip from Kairi and Selphie. Those girls… they're TALKATIVE. I tried chucking them with my death stars… but they managed to dance AND talk. They're crazy. But they said Wakka was with Lulu… that's crazy. I almost spit out my chocolate at them.

I went shopping with Aerith… I know, I'm crazy. But I didn't purposely go with her. I'm not THAT crazy. I mean… who the hell buys pink and pink and pink? Poor Cloud, although he's lucky to have such a sweet girl… even if she's obsessed with pink. I think she put sleeping medicine in my chocolate or something. I didn't wake up until we were almost at the mall. She dragged me into Forever 21… eww. She picked out this PINK DRESS like hers and almost forced me to try it out… if I hadn't run to the food court. At least I bought a tan scarf. I love anything that's brown or green.

But during the sunset… I just HAPPENED to be with Riku. Here's what happened.

I was walking down the hall way of the boy's dorms, looking for Squallie to annoy again… maybe to persuade him to let me use his gunblade… and I heard a crash. I jumped down the hallway to… Sora's door! I ran to the door and sneakily opened it (cause I'm a ninja, remember?). I happened to hear a male voice getting pissed, but muttering quickly. I breathed slowly to hear.

"Stupid drawer… won't OPEN! Dammit… I have to find it… It HAS to be somewhere here…"

This was a moment I could definitely NOT miss. I giggled in anticipation.

"Riku, Riku. How come you're trying THAT hard to get attention? If you need it… I can ALWAYS get Sora ya know…" I grinned.

"Yuffie! What are you doing here?" Riku whispered, trying to sneak away by the door. He took a step to his left.

"I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing?" I smiled and stepped to my right. He was SO dead. The Great Ninja Yuffie has SCORED.

"Uhhhh… nothing. Just cleanin' up Sora's room as a surprise." Riku smiled a let-me-go-please-I'm-begging-you smile.

"You think I'm THAT idiotic? So you honestly think I believe that your standing in Sora's room, cleaning up, when there's chips on the floor, clothes draped everywhere, and papers messed up?" I growled.

"Um. Yes?" Riku still had that cute annoying smile of his on.

"Well… you should really not tell Sora… I mean, it's a total surprise you know."

"Anddd… what makes you think I still believe you?"

"You think I'm sexy and masculine." said Riku grinning as he flexed his muscles.

I rolled my eyes. Who the hell thinks Riku is SEXY? I'd rather eat my veggies than think that. "I think I should tell Sora… shouldn't I?"

"Least I don't talk about Riku to my friends in your fan club." Riku was totally becoming more smug and arrogant about this. And I was getting annoyed by the second. Maybe this is how Squallie feels. I blushed a shade of pink

"I don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't… lets go eat somewhere. Shall we?" I scowled and left.

"Wait… Yufffie… wait up, I didn't really mean it!"

I turned around… apparently Riku decided to follow. "Is following me a way to spill your secret?" I asked, grinning. "No." he scowled.

The Great Ninja Yuffie strikes.

"So anyways… what were you doing in Sora's room anyways? He usually forgets to keep his door locked, but no one cares." I wondered.

"Wellllll…Iwasgoingtostealhispasswordforhisemail,causehealwaysforgets,andwritesitdownandIdecidedtotrytofinditinoneofhisjournalswherehekeepsallhispasswordsandstuffandIwantedtousehisemailtoemailtothewholeschoolthathe…"

I had a hard time shutting him up, but by tripping him and making him have a bloody nose, he growled and took a little bathroom break.

"So why were you walking down the boy's dorm?" Riku asked me, once he was done with his "business".

I thought. "Welllll…IwantedtoannoySquallandmaybetakehisgunbladeandkillCloudcauseClouddidn'tagreewithmewhenIaskedhimifSquallorLeonwasabetternameandhesaid—"

"Yuffie."

"Anyways, CloudsaidLeonandIgotsopissedbutthenIthoughtCloudwasinteimidatedbySqualliewhichisfunnycauseCloudistallerthanLeonandyeahsoIwantedtoannoySqualliecausehewouldntagreewhenIsaidSqualliewasbettersoyeahandlikewhotheheckcallsaguyLeonLeonhartImeanthatislikethegayestnameintheworldandyeah."

I grinned, expecting to see a flushed Riku yelling. But he was calm.

"My turn." Riku smiled.

"To continue… I wanted to steal something from Sora's room cause I needed revenge from him taking a picture of me half naked and posting it on the web for everyone to see and like everyone was laughing at me and I felt so sad so I got angry and I need Sora's email to email the whole school that—"

I growled. I heard enough. "Shut up Riku." I kicked out at him but he dodged like he KNEW it was coming and he kept talking.

"that Sora sleeps with his stuffed pig and that he pees in his bed once in a while and that will complete my revenge. Also—"

"Is there ANY way to shut you up?" I asked, trying to be calm for once.

"Well no." Riku said, thinking.

"UGH." I yelled, causing several doors to open. She blushed seeing some guys in a towel. "This is hopeless."

"Well… there is this way…" Riku said knowingly.

"Tell me Riku! TELL ME!" I smiled a tell-me-or-ill-tell-squallie-to-kill-you-smile.

"No. Yuffie, you wouldn't do it." Riku said, smiling as he got his plan readied up.

"DO WHAT?" I kicked Riku in the stomach.

"Ow. It would be impossible." He clutched him stomach but still kept grinning.

"Just tell me Riku. Please?" I said, earnestly.

This new kind of Yuffie scared him.

"I want you to give me a kiss." Riku said happily as he pulled my waist toward him until they were two inches apart.

"No, Riku. I will ONLY kiss you if I ever see bowls of noodle making out with each other." I said, coldly.

"Guess I'll keep talking then." Riku laughed, an evil cackle.

"NO!"

"Fine then. Just a quick little peck on the cheek. Just one. And that's it." Riku said.

"Okay. Just one… I'll do it." I sighed as I leaned closer.

Riku pointed his finger at his cheek.

I leaned in, and just as my lips going to just graze Riku's, he TURNS his head and kisses me on the lips instead.

I can't believe I'm saying this. I was surprised at first but I finally deepen the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck.

I gasped and broke the kiss.

For the first time in his life, Riku was speechless.

And the Great Ninja Yuffie completes her goal.