[1] Oh God Why (The Series): Chapter One - Vibranium Is Unbreakable

Written by: Uncle Sam

It was a cold and humid morning that seemed like any other morning, but there was something wrong, something so very wrong. And the beautiful man meditating in the field could sense this too. "Something this morning, do not feel about naturally. Something is wrong ...," The man said, flexing his biceps as he meditated. As his black hair gloriously waved in the breeze, he thought about his one true goal. All he has ever wanted is to be a gentleman. He strives to be a gentleman, just like his one idol, PSY. He wishes only to be a true gentleman and to avenge his family that he had lost.
"I need to look at what is wrong. Someone has messed with the timeline..."

Not too far away, a group of intelligent and powerful men discussed this very matter. "What the hell is wrong?", The Version Of Nick Fury Portrayed By Samuel L Jackson yelled at the scientist who was trying to dissect the problem. The scientist stuttered, replying "I-I don't know Version of Nick Fury Portrayed by Samuel L Jackson. I-I'm trying t-to figure that out right now, sir."
"Oh, to hell with it! Someone get Stark in here now!," Nick Fury Portrayed By Samuel L Jackson yelled.
In no later than 5 minutes, The Version of Tony Stark portrayed by Robert Downey Jr's character In Tropic Thunder (so he was also a token black character) stormed in there, checking the computer immediately. After intense typing, he had figured out what was wrong.
"Somethin' is wrong for sure. This ain't like any other thing I've seen. Someone has messed with the timelines. This could be very dangerous, boys," Tony said, removing himself from the chair. "Well we ain't got all day for sure! How do we fix this thing?," Nick asked angrily. "Hell if I know. We need t'be focusin' on surviving, not fixing this thing. We'll handle this later. The radar's picking up some odd figures. We need some men out there to take care of any maggots tryin' to mess with us," Tony replied.
Nick Fury took action immediately, sending around 30 ground troops to patrol the area and make sure everything was in shape. The troops patrolled the area for an hour, finding no threats whatsoever. But soon they stumbled upon the man meditating alone in the field. The 30 men, all armed with high-tech assault rifles, aimed their weapons at him, requesting him to stand up and identify himself. The mediating man simply replied with "sh" as he tried to focus on his meditation. Angered by his resilient behavior, one of the front men took several steps closer, repeating his order louder. "Stand up and identify yourself before I blow your skull off your spine!"
The man sighed and obeyed the orders, standing up and raising his arms above his head in a fashionable way. "The name Jonathan Joestar. Now may I return to my meditation?" Jonathan huffed.
"Quite the peculiar last name you got there, Jonathan. But no. You may not sit back down. We're gonna need a little more identification or some answers to a few-" but before the man could finish his request, Jonathan rolled his eyes and sat back down. Reacting quickly to Jonathan's sudden body movement, one of the men fired a booming shot aimed straight at Jonathan's shoulder. The bullet penetrated him, his shoulder then ejecting an acidic poison out of his bleeding wound via Ripple transfusion. The poison landed on four men who were standing the closest to Jonathan. As the men fell to the floor, the other 26 men shot their guns immediately at where Jonathan was sitting, but no shots seemed to have landed. After the rapid gunfire the men looked around for Jonathan, not seeing him anywhere near. Suddenly, crashing from above, Jonathan landed on two of the men, killing them instantly. He had jumped high in the air to avoid gunfire and decided to cushion his landing with two of the troops below. As soon as Jonathan was back in sight, rapid gunfire proceeded. Jonathan made his way through the troops, dodging the gunfire and punching any men within arm's reach.
One man remained. He ran away quickly, taking cover behind a large tree. Jonathan had no intent in killing him so he let the scrawny man go.
Back at S.H.I.E.L.D they were having a crisis. 30 of their best arms had been destroyed by what they assumed to be a vigilante. "That's it! We've gotta show this
vigilante who's boss! Send down 10 more ground troops and the cap. Arm the troops with more than just rifles this time" Nick Fury commanded.
As he had demanded, Captain America and 10 ground troops armed with laser rifles or missile launchers searched the ground for the killer.
They did find someone. But he wasn't Jonathan. But instead a tall man dressed in a white and gold suit and hat. He went by "Jotaro". But before even asking for his name, the troops immediately began shooting. Jotaro, with his hands kept calmly in his pockets, ran up to the men. The men were beaten, thrown, and punched, yet, Jotaro never removed his hands from his pockets. He had a close encounter with a bullet hitting his skull, but he was never once injured. All the men were taken out too quickly. Captain America was all that remained.
"Sorry that I had to beat the crap out of them so quickly. I was just never given the chance to introduce myself or offer you a smoke or a drink", Jotaro said as he lit five cigarettes and prepared a glass of juice. "Quiet. What are you trying to do here? Why are you messing with the timelines?" Captain America asked firmly. Jotaro laughed lightly and put each cigarette in his mouth inwards. "You're the one doing this, correct?" The captain asked unsure. Jotaro shook his head and then poured some juice in his mouth with the lit cigarettes. Captain America raised his eyebrow, confused. "If you're not the guy, then who is? And what the heck are you doing with those cigarettes and that juice?" Jotaro swallowed the drink, then removing the cigs from his mouth, showing that they were still lit. "Interesting," Steve Rogers said, pulling his shield out. "Well it's just a trick. Want to see another one?" Jotaro said as Star Platinum, his Stand that was invisible to Captain America, raised his arm and sent it crashing down to hit the Captain. By instinct, Captain America quickly jolted his shield in front of him, Star Platinum's fist violently crashing into it with a loud, thundering thud.