Diagnosis: Love Struck Fool
Chapter One
The military operations building was empty, considering it was close to ten o'clock on a Thursday night. The only two people left were Colonel Roy Mustang, who was sitting in his office trying to avoid his abnormally large stacks of paperwork, and his subordinate.
"Sir, you should be working on your paperwork." Roy looked up and looked directly down the long black barrel of a pistol. His subordinate, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, was pointing a gun to his head.
"Lt. Hawkeye, I really don't feel too good. In fact I think I have a terrible disease that reacts to touching paperwork. I'll break into a rash. I'll start swelling! I might even end up in the hospital." Roy looked up, a new talent of acting stepped into his mind as he put on a performance of trying to be allergic to paperwork. Unfortunate for him, Lt. Hawkeye wasn't a big fan of dramas, nor plays.
"Either way you'll land in the hospital - if you touch your paperwork or don't do your paperwork. And if I may make a suggestion ...Sir, I suggest touching your paperwork would hurt much less then a bullet in your head." She answered simply. Roy gulped and nodded as he watched the gun slowly go back in its holster. 'How lazy is he?' Hawkeye thought to herself as she clicked the safety on and sat behind her desk.
Roy looked up at Hawkeye and then glanced at his paperwork. He began working for the fear of dying because of a gunshot. About an hour later, Hawkeye left to go grab a cup of coffee. Roy remained in his office, doing 'paperwork'. When Hawkeye returned, she looked over at Roy, hand on her gun holster. She smiled to herself, then proceeded to walk to her desk.
'Strange. Very strange indeed.' Roy thought as he lifted the magazine up to a slight 20 degree angle. Hawkeye didn't even notice the 'Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Addition' magazine on Roy's desk. He studied each page with a sharp eye and drooled at the girls.
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Roy's magazine fell to the desk in a smoking mess. It had 3 giant holes. Roy ducked and Hawkeye, who was now standing in front of his desk, glared at him. "If you want hookers sir, go to a bar. If you want your life, please continue your paperwork." Hawkeye stated coldly and then added, "Sir"
"Hawkeye, I don't need hookers. I need mini-skirts, not to mention co-workers in mini skirts." Roy smirked his trademark smirk as he sat back up. Hawkeye pondered a bit, and then began to answer.
"I am sure Havoc, Falman, Breda, and Cain will wear mini-skirts if you want them to. I'll go talk to them." She smiled a deadly smile and waited for an answer.
"That's okay lieutenant. I'd rather see you in a mini skirt. What do you think?" Roy smiled.
BANG!
BANG!
"Don't be so stingy." Roy whimpered, dropping his head downward and pulling some paperwork off his large pile, trying to avoid more bullets. Hawkeye walked back to her desk leaving the two fresh bullet holes smoking behind Roy's desk. Roy smiled to himself, looking up at Hawkeye from the corner of his eye. 'Her answers are so original... and unique.'
Roy wanted Hawkeye, bad. His late buddy Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes always told him you want what you can't have. And Hawkeye was the one girl in the 'whole world' that Roy couldn't have. He couldn't get close to her without risking a gunshot wound, or other. He remembered clearly two years ago when he tried to seduce her on Valentines day, actually it was another long night of paperwork, so Valentines 'night'. He hit on her and she hit on him. She hit on him all right, with her gun's hilt on the back of his head. Roy smiled, tonight he wouldn't fear 'The Gun'. He would flirt with her, instead.
A/N- Well? Please R&R. This was suppose to be a once shot. But I figured I'll make it a double shot with sexual tension on the side. WAITER! MY ORDER PLEASE!