Well… I liked this idea and I thought it was funny.
I do not own Final Fantasy and I don't get any money for writing this.
Sorry for my bad English, it's my third language
"You're doing it again!"
"…"
"See! See, what I mean?! Again!!"
"…"
"Stop it!!"
An extremely pissed Reno was – well – pissed. This damned Cloud! Is it so difficult to say at least a single word? No! No, it's not!
The oh-so-great hero Strife was laying next to him on the bed. And did he talk? No. At least while having sex he made noises.
Reno always was scared that Cloud would orgasm with a "…Hm.". Well, he didn't. God, he could scream so damn loud!
"Mr Strife, I am talking to you! Answer me, right now! I don't want to hear your whole life story or something, but a little bit of conversation would be very nice, you know?"
The blond guy wanted to say something, but he was stopped.
"…H-"
"And don't Hm me! How would you like it, huh? It's not nice, you know! Hm! Hmmm!! HMMMM!! See? See?! Is that what you want?!"
"…H-"
"Don't. You. Dare. Blondie...!"
Reno's voice had a dangerous tone, it even scared Cloud. So if wanted or not, he had to form a complete sentence. Was he still able to do that? Well… we'll see. One glare from Reno's angered eyes told him, that his time was nearly up. The redhead and his mood swings. Sometimes our blond hero wondered, if Reno is or had secretly been a woman and still had his period.
But Cloud didn't want to talk. Not about … it.
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
His blond lover looked so sad.
"It…was…hard…back then… a … trauma… please not…"
Oh no! What did he do?! He turned Cloud into an emotional cripple! What dramatic scene made the Blond into an…emo?!
-°- Reno's version
Sad piano music
"No… please my little boy… don't cry" an old man whispered.
"But grandpa! You're everything I have! Don't leave me alone! I love you!"
A sad little mini-Cloud was sitting next a bed, where an old sick looking man was laying.
"I am so sorry! It is all my fault, grandfather! If only I had been a good boy..!"
"Oh no, don't say that… If it is somebody's fault, then it is mine. I am sorry, that my heart is going to collapse, my lungs will stop working in about 3 minutes, I only have one leg and no arms anymore…"
"Grandpa! Don't say something like that! That's not true! Please, please don't leave me…"
"Oh my little boy… when your parents were still alive, they have been so happy… You have you mother's face… and your father's hair... – that dirty bastard, left you alone for some bitches he had a threesome with…"
"WHAT?!"
"Oh, umm… nothing. Forget it. …Cloud… Cloud… my time is ending now… but we will meet again some day…never forget… that…I … love you…"
The old man's body died.
"Grandpa? GRAAAANDPAAAAAAA!!"
And now, the boy would say the last whole sentence in his life:
"If…If… Now that you are dead, I have nobody to talk to. So…So…So I will never talk again!!"
-°- back to reality
Cloud was right – Reno had his period. He was crying like a baby.
"Oh… oh no! Grandpa Strife!!"
The Blonde hold his breath. Grandpa Strife… what the hell was wrong with this guy?! So Cloud did the only logic thing he could do in such a situation: he turned around and went to sleep again.
-°- what really happened
Mini-Cloud was very very excited, because today it would be his first day in kindergarten. The kindergarten teacher made a short introduction.
"So my dears! Starting from to today, we have a new member! Please welcome Cloud!"
"Hello Cloud"
"So darling, tell us something about you!"
The little one took a deep deep breath.
"My Name is Cloud I like chocolate do you like chocolate I love it but my mommy says it makes my go hyper but I don't think so I had fifteen bars for breakfast and I am not hyper am I no I don't think so what is you favourite colour I like blue the most and I hate Barney the big purple dinosaur do you like Barney I think he is very very very very annoying I hate annoying people I'm sure you know what I mean what is your favourite computer game I like counter strike –"
But he couldn't go on, because he was interrupted by irritated little children.
"What is wrong with this guy?"
"Why does he talk so much?"
"He looks like a girl!"
"I am scared…"
"God, shut up!"
Then they tried to stone him to death with their playing bricks.
-°-
And since that tragic day, Cloud tries to speak as less as possible.