Disclaimer: I swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. I have told you once, and I have told you again, I do not, DO NOT own these characters. Square does! They are the ones you want!

PlayingDead---by Lor

A Disasterrific Idea (Introduction)

"I don't want my little girl in danger! No child of mine is gunna' have to walk around fearin' for their life!"

As you might have guessed, that was my pops, Cid, pretty much the leader of the Al Bhed. I usually would describe him as overprotective, boisterous, and majorly intrusive. Don't get me wrong, I love my pops, but he needs to trust me a little more, ya know?

"E's hud eh yho geht uv tyhkan! E lyh vaht vun socamv!"(I'm not in any kind of danger! I can fend for myself!)

"The hell you can't! Not from looney tunes like this, Rikku."

Now, I know that he was making a pretty good point. It isn't everyday a girl is being constantly chased around by some psycho stalker. I will admit, after a while it gets very annoying, and now things have just gone too far.

Of course, when things get even the smallest bit out-of-hand, ol' daddy-o is there to blow it all out of proportion.

So there we are sitting on a rather new, high-tech, looking airship, talking about my little "stalker" issue. Brother, Pops, Shinra, Buddy, Yunie, and I, right? You can't even imagine the ideas that start popping up from some of my closest friends and family. Being normal just isn't an attainable thing for me. I assure you, all of the suggestions for possible soloutions were total trash.

But of course, little smarty-pants has to speak his mind.

"She can play dead. Fake her own death. After that we make sure this guy gets it loud and clear that Rikku has passed on to the Farplane."

Shinra, you traitor!

"Oh yeah, kid? What happens when this guy sees my little girl roamin' the streets, huh?"

Yeah, yeah! What happens then! Thanks, pops!

Shinra seemed defeated. You know, when someone doesn't answer for a while, because they know that their plans to totally ruin my life have just gone down in flames?

At least I thought he was defeated. I guess I just momentarily forgot that we are deaing with a brainiac over here!

"She can get a new identity. New clothes, new background, dye her hair."

"I WILL NOT DYE MY HAIR!", I shouted in protest. Come on, I had to think of something to make this plan forgotten. Please, someone remind me never to pick up child prodigys anymore!

"A wig, maybe? I could always help you choose!", chimed Yuna with the unwelcome, unwanted, and unecessary rebuttal.

I could tell that pops was really thinking on it, like he thought that this thing could work. He was getting that strange look in his eyes where you can tell that he is trying to plan everything out in his head already. Once that happens, your pretty much past the point of no return.

"Yeah...I think that could work."

Like I said, no return.

"I am thinking this is a good idea for Rikku too, Father.",added Brother in a slightly sing-song voice.

He had always had a weird complex about wanting to be an only child. Isn't he just lucky.

"E femm hud ku drnuikr fedr drec, oui lyh'd syga sa!" (I will not go through with this, you can't make me!)

"I'm your father, and if this is what I gotta' do to protect you, so be it!"

"Come on, Pops! Can't we just go...beat him down or something!"

After saving the world twice, my father still hadn't gotten used to the fact that I could beat up pretty much anyone and anything. Yeah, my stalker was crazy. But what about Maester Seymour? He wasn't the most sane guy that I have ever met, and that's being nice.

"Rikku, I know that I have raised you to be tough, but you gotta pick your fights, girl!",my old man replied, lighting a cigerette and inhaling slowly. I mostly got him of the things, but whenever he got really stressed, it was back to the nicotine fix.

I really didn't want to see my Pops lose sleep or get lung cancer just from a silly little problem I was having.

"So...you would all...nydran ryja sa vyga so ufh taydr?", I asked. I was actually expecting them to hear it out of my mouth and realize how dumb the whole thing sounded. Instead I got a room full of unanimous answers. Yes. Yes, yes, yes yes, yes.(rather have me fake my own death?)

Forget Shinra being a low-down traitor. I had the whole group of backstabbers right here!

It took all of my willpower not to throw myself down on the floor and begin having a tantrum. It's a shame that I am now 18 years old, because I think they call those 'tantrums' something else when you reach that age. I believe it has something to do with mental unstability.

"Now, I want your new identity to still be someplace famililar. I want ya' to be around yer' own kind."

Oh, you mean a group of "back from the dead" ghost kids. I can dig that. Not.

"Put that cig out and I'll be cooperative. Otherwise, it's a no-go.", I said in a very reprimanding tone.

"Fine, fine.", he replied, crushing the cigarette into an ash tray. "I know! You can go live with the Machine Faction! Yer' good with yer' hands and machina, girl. We can put you to some use and it will be with a bunch of other Al Bheds!"

The Machine Faction. It didn't sound to bad at first. I do love machina.

"I've wanted you to get a job anyway. I'll call Gippal now and tell him to be expectin' a 'new' recruit"

Gippal? As my boss? The cocky, arrogant, and generally infuriating Gippal. This was also a 'no-go'.

"Hu fyo, Bubc!", I shouted. I was not about to be put under the command of that...oh, I don't even know what to call him. I obviously don't like the guy, that's for sure!(No way, Pops!)

"Hey, did I not just put out my cig, kid?"

"You did, father! It could be seen!"

"Your gunna need a fake name for your identity! I always thought Lily was pretty."

Stupid Pops. Stupid Brother. Stupid Yunie.

"How about Cihho!"

"Cihho is a great name, Buddy!"

"I'll call Gippal now. Cihho it is!"

"DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS?", I cried out in fustration.

Again, unanimous answers. All No. They are getting pretty predictable, ya know?

I just can't believe I am actually going through with this. Goodbye Rikku, hello Cihho. Things are actually getting pretty scary.

Author Notes: Rikku's new name is pronounced Key-he-ho, just ta' let ya know. Yeah...so should I keep this thing going or what? Leave some feedback and we will see what comes outta' my brain next...

Rikku: Why do I have to have such a horrible newname?

Cid: Why can't you just be happy, Cihooheke.

Rikku: It's Cihho!

Brother: Maybe now I can get attention from people, like Father!

Cid: And who are you?

Brother: It's Brother! YOUR SON! crys

Gippal: YAY. MY COMMSPHERE IS RINGING!