Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…really proud of that fact.
A/N: If this ticks you off, and you want to argue with me, then you have to find that one redeeming quality, that one thing that makes Bella Swan a three dimensional character, and you better have a lot to back you up on that.
In Which Bella Gets What She Deserves or
A Literature Fan Strikes Back
It wasn't long after Edward had returned from Italy and from his near death experience with the Volturi that Bella came home from school and found both Jacob and Edward waiting for her in her room. "Well…this is an unexpected surprise," she said, tossing her book bag in the corner. "What's up guys?"
"You suck at life," Jacob replied and Edward nodded while Bella's mouth dropped open.
"Jake! How can you say something like that?" Bella exclaimed.
"No, he's right Bella. I almost got myself killed because you decided to throw yourself off a cliff to see a hallucination of me," Edward said. "I mean, didn't you think that was kind of a stupid idea?"
"I missed you!"
"Yeah, because missing a guy who you 'love' after going catatonic for months after he leaves is the perfect reason to throw yourself off a cliff when there's a murderous vampire out after you. No offense," Jacob said to Edward.
"None taken."
"So basically, we realized that you're the reason we don't like each other and that we would probably be a lot better off if you weren't around."
"So what are you guys going to do?" Bella asked, afraid now.
"Oh, Edward just called the Volturi and they're coming over to take care of you," Jake said, grinning. "They should be here pretty quick actually, so I just need to get out before they arrive and then we're all set. See you Bells!"
Without another word Jacob leapt from the window and raced off into the woods. "Jake wait up! We can head over to my place and listen to music for a while!" Edward called, starting out the window himself.
"Edward wait! The Volturi don't have to kill me! You could change me!" Bella cried.
"You want me to make you a vampire, saying that being with me is the reason you want this, but you won't marry me," Edward said, grinning sadly and shaking his head. "No Bella, I think that this is the only way for this to end, the only way that makes sense actually."
And then he too was jumping out the window and racing off after Jake. Bella ran over to the window and watched for them, but they were already long gone. "Edward! Jake!" she screamed, but neither came back.
"Hello Ms. Swan," she heard behind her. Felix. "Shame it had to end this way. Aro regrets it." And then the world went black.