"I can't wait to see the guys!" I said excitedly to Amanda and Jen.
"I know! I'm gonna tackle Jimmy and not let him go!" Amanda said just as excited. The three of us were waiting at the bus depot for the boys to get back from tour, and of course by the guys I mean the one and only Avenged Sevenfold. My brother is none other than Matt Sanders aka M. Shadows, and the boys being back only meant two things a party almost every night and never a dull moment. It also unfortunately meant nonstop insults and mean stupid pranks pulled on me by the one man who holds my heart, and he doesn't even know it.
"Look! Here they come!" Jen said excitedly as we looked down the street and saw the bus rounding the corner. A few minutes later and they were stepping off the bus. Matt was the first one off the bus. Both Jen and I started walking to him, but she broke off into a run and beat me to him. He picked her up and spun her around kissing her, I slowed down to give them a moment. After he was done saying hello to her he turned and tackled me into a bone crushing bear hug.
"How's my favorite little sister doing?" He asked.
"Matt I'm your only sister and I'll be doing a lot better once you stop breaking my ribs." I laughed.
"Sorry, I missed you sis."
"I missed you too bro."
" Sara!" A voice yelled from behind me.
"Zacky!" I yelled back turning to him as Matt turned his attention back on Jen.
"Girl, get your cute little ass over here and give me a hug."
"I'm coming, I'm coming." I said. I took maybe five steps before I felt something catch the top of my foot just below the ankle, before I could react I fell face first onto the pavement. "Ow." I said slowly picking myself up and I came face to face with what had tripped me. "Synyster." I said coldly.
"Sara." He said just as coldly, but smirking.
"Sara! Are you ok?" Zacky asked running over.
"I think so." I looked down at my hands which had a bit of road rash on them but nothing serious. Then I felt a warm trickle under my chin and watched a drop of blood fall to the ground. I wiped my hand under my chin and it came out blood smeared.
"Let me see." Zacky said tipping my head up. "Oh shit looks like it's spit wide open."
"Oh that's fucking great."
"What happened?" Matt asked walking over.
"I don't know there was uneven pavement or something and I fell right on my face. You know how clumsy I can be." I laughed a little lying through my teeth.
"It looks bad, you need stitches."
"Nah, I'll be fine. No worries."
"Here." Jen said handing me a tissue from her purse.
"Thanks." I said bunching it and holding it under my chin.
"Can I get that hug now?" Zacky asked.
"Of course." I said wrapping my arms around him.
"When are you gonna tell Matt what Syn's been doing to you?" He whispered.
"Zacky." I said releasing him. "I've been dealing with Syn's bullshit since high school, it's really not that big a deal."
"Sara, your chin is split wide open, how isn't that a big deal? I mean I know how you feel about him and I just don't understand it."
"I don't understand myself." I said. Suddenly I was tackled from behind and swept up into a hug.
"Sara! I missed you so much!" Jimmy said squeezing me.
"Hey there Jimmy, I missed you too."
" I saw what that ass did, are you ok?" He said putting me down.
"Yeah, just a little blood, I'll be fine."
"Good, cause we are going out tonight and you need to be there."
"Absolutely, I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Fantastic!" He did a jig and clicked his heels together before running after Amanda. "See ya later." He yelled.
"That boy has got some issues." I said to Zacky, while laughing and shaking my head. "Well let's see I got my hello from Syn, you , Matt, and Jimmy so that leaves…Johnny!" I yelled across the lot at him.
"What?" He whined back jokingly.
"Get your short ass over here and give me my hug."
"I don't wanna." He whined again.
"Johnny! Don't make me come over there." He rolled his eyes and huffed. He put his head down and slowly trudged over to me, but when he picked his head up he had a huge smile on his face. " Boy, you just love the way I abuse you don't ya?"
"Got that right." He said hugging me. "You're coming out with us later right?"
"You bet your short sweet ass I am."
"Awesome."
"Sara." I heard my brother bellow.
"Looks like Matt's ready to go." I said seeing him sitting in the car. "See ya later."
"Later Sara." Johnny said before turning to go get his belongings.
A few hours later Matt was unpacked and settled back in and we were getting ready to go meet the guys.
"Sara, you ready yet?" Matt yelled up the stairs.
"Almost, be right down." I yelled back while checking my appearance in the mirror. I decided I looked good enough so I went to turn to leave but quickly turned back when something caught my attention. Under my chin had started to bruise and there was a nice big red splotch of dried blood. I sighed. "Thanks Syn." I said as I let my mind wander back to how Syn and I used to be back in high school.
Flash Back
"Hey Sara!" Syn yelled from down the hallway.
"Hey Brian." I said slamming my locker shut as he came and pulled me into a tight hug. "B, you're gonna break my ribs." I laughed as his hug tightened.
"I can't help it, you're so huggable." He laughed releasing me.
"I'm huggable?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Well thanks for that."
"What? You don't want to be huggable?"
"Well yes, but of all things I could be, huggable?" He laughed and threw an arm around my shoulders as we walked down the hall.
"So, you're coming to our band practice after school right?"
"Of course, don't I always?"
"Good, I'll see ya later then?" He asked after stopping outside my class. I nodded. He kissed my cheek before heading down the hallway.
End Flash Back
"See ya later Brian. " I said as a tear slide down my face. I quickly wiped it away.
"Sara!" Matt yelled again.
"Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming." I yelled as I turned to go join him and Jen downstairs.
The three of us pulled up to the bar, got of the car, and headed in.
"Crap, what's today?" I asked after reading the sigh on the side of the building.
"Thursday. " Matt answered. "Why?"
"It's karaoke night."
"What? Since when do they have a karaoke night?"
"I don't know."
"Well, maybe it won't too bad. " Jen said hopefully. As soon as we opened the door our ears were met with a terrible noise that sounded like a dying cat with Evanescence music playing in the background. I raised an eyebrow at her. " Ok, I was wrong." She cringed."
"There they are." Matt said pointing to the end of the bar.
"Hey guys." Jimmy said raising his beer. "Now we can get this party started. I'm buying, what are you drinking?"
"I don't know, get me a beer, I don't care what kind." I said. Matt and Jen ordered the same.
"Awesome." Jimmy said turning around to order the beers. I suddenly felt an arm drape across my shoulders.
"Hey there pretty lady." Zacky said. He had come from the direction of the bathroom with Syn.
"Hey Zacky. " I said side hugging him. Syn rolled his eyes.
"Loser." He muttered under his breath and turned and walked away.
"How's the chin?" Zacky asked.
"It's a beauty. " I tilted my head back.
"Ouch."
"Yeah."
"Here's your beer Sara." Jimmy said handing it to me.
"Thanks Jimmy. Hopefully after a few of these that noise will be bearable. " I said referring to the karaoke.
"Yeah." He laughed.
"I just want to thank everybody for coming out tonight." The woman hosting the karaoke night said as I took a mouthful of beer. "Next up we have Sara Sanders." I choked on my beer.
"What?" I coughed. I heard Syn laughing his ass off and that's when I knew it had been him who had put my name down.
"Is she here?" The woman asked when I didn't move.
"Yeah." I said. I wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction. Little did he know that I could actually sing fairly well. "Give me a second." I said taking another mouthful to calm my throat and headed to the stage. "So what song am I doing?"
"It doesn't say so I guess just pick one." The woman said. I knew exactly what song I was gonna do. I whispered it to the woman and as she selected I spoke into the mic. "I know this song was done a little while ago, but it seems appropriate so here we go." There was silence for a few moments before the soft piano entrance to Good Enough by Evanescence came through the speakers. I put the mic to my mouth and sang.
"Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you
Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly
Now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe but I feel
Good enough
I feel good enough for you
Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
And I've completely lost myself and I don't mind
I can't say no to you
Shouldn't let you conquer me completely
Now I can't let go of this dream
Can't believe that I feel
Good enough
I feel good enough
It's been such a long time coming
But I feel good
And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
Pour real life down on me
'Cause I can't hold on to anything
This good enough
Am I good enough
For you to love me too?
So take care what you ask of me
'Cause I can't say no" Suddenly I was filled with anger and sorrow. "Asshole, you are a fucking asshole!" I screamed in the mic my eyes locked on Syn, everyone in the bar's eyes were locked on me."Do you have any clue how much you mean to me or how much you've hurt me over the years?" I dropped the mic and stepped off the stage. "Brian there was a time when I would have given anything to be with you, done anything for you. No, you know what? Screw that I do shit for you all the time. I make up lies to cover your ass so my brother don't kick it. I've been doing it for six years, six fucking years Brian!" I was standing directly in front of him yelling in his face. "Tell me what changed, we used to be so close, what happened? You used to tell me I was beautiful, you used to make me feel so good inside, like my heart was gonna burst every time you hugged or even just touched me." The tears were falling now. "And now, now you make me feel the worst I've felt ever! So bad in fact that I don't even tell you what I was thinking about doing to myself at one point." I took a deep breath. He looked scared and unsure. "Well?" I asked, he gave no answer. "So you've got nothing huh? That's real fucking great." I turned and headed for the door.
"Sara." Matt said gently grabbing my arm. I shot him a sad smile and pulled away from him. "Syn, what is she talking about?" I heard Matt ask as I opened the door and stepped out into the cool night air. I walked down to the end of the bar and leaned against the wall and slid down it. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes tipping my head back against the wall. About two seconds later I heard the bar door open and close and footsteps coming towards my direction and stopping right in front of me.
"Hi Zacky." I said not even opening my eyes. Already knowing who it was.
"Hey Sara, you alright?"
"Yeah Zack, I'm fine. I'm just, I don't know." I said standing. He pulled me into a hug.
"You weren't really thinking about doing what I think you were thinking of doing were you?"
"No, not really. The thought crossed my mind once or twice, but that was years ago when I was at a very low point of my life, but then I realized I have so much more to live for."
"Damn right you do!"
"Not to mention I think it scared Brian a bit. Did you see his face?"
"Yeah, I did." He laughed. "He looked scared." A moment later the door opened again and we both turned to see Matt walking towards us.
"Sara, can I talk to you? What the hell just happened? Syn's playing stupid with me."
"Well let's see. Where do I start? About halfway through junior year of high school he started being a complete ass to me. He'd knock my books out of my hands in the hallway, steal my lunch, trip me, one time he put glue on my chair, he's called me every name in the book, he pushed me into a mud puddle, and that was only high school. Things just got worse from there. I won't go into details but the most recent thing is my chin, there was no uneven pavement, he tripped me. " Matt's face went from shock to anger.
"I'm gonna kick his fucking ass."
"Matt just let it go."
"No, best friend or not nobody messes with my sister." The door opened again. This time Syn stepped out.
"Can I talk to Sara alone?" He asked walking towards us. "Matt you can kick my ass later."
"What are you gonna do to her this time Syn? Hit her? Maybe break a bone? She could have seriously gotten hurt today." Matt said shoving him. Syn just took it.
"I know, and I'm sorry." Matt went to go after him again but Zacky and I stepped in and grabbed him.
"Matt go inside."
"But Sara."
"Matt I got this, go inside. I'll scream if I need ya and you can come beat him to a bloody pulp." He nodded.
"Come on Zacky." Matt said walking away. Zacky kissed the side of my head before following Matt. He stopped in front of Syn and shook a finger in his face.
"If you even, I swear to God Syn!"
"Zacky relax, I'm not gonna do anything." Zacky narrowed his eyes before walking away. Syn turned to me looking like he wanted to say something but he hesitated. There was an awkward silence for a few moments before he finally said something. "I'm sorry."
"What?" I asked shocked.
"I'm sorry for everything."
"Are you really? Or are you just saying that so Matt don't beat the shit out of you?"
"No, I really am. I never wanted you to think about hurting yourself in anyway."
"Yeah well you did Brian."
"Brian, there's a name I haven't heard on your lips for years."
"Yeah well Brian was my friend, I haven't seen him in years." I said very snippy. "What happened to us Bri? Why the sudden change?"
"You mean you don't know?"
"No, honestly I don't."
"You slept with Dave and half the football team."
"What?" I asked shocked. "No, I didn't."
"Yes you did. He told me himself."
"Brian." I scoffed. "I never slept with him or anyone else on the football team for that matter. Why would I? "
"I don't know. I…"
"Didn't you know all I wanted was to be with you?" I cut him off.
"I wanted to be with you too, but how could I after that?"
"You wanna know what really happened?" He nodded. "I went to go hang out with him after school one day, ya know, no big deal we had known each other for years. Well, while I was there he tried to get me to do shit with him and I refused. He forced himself on me but all he ended up getting was a swift kick between the legs. Next day of school he went around telling everyone that I was a whore and that I had slept with him and a bunch of the other jocks. It ruined my reputation, but I never thought that you of all people would have believed him."
"Yeah, well, I did and I didn't even want to be seen with you, much less go out with you."
"So you pushed me away."
"I did, and I regret it." There was silence between us.
"And now that you know the truth what do you think?" More silence before he spoke.
"Do you think you can forgive me for being an asshole…"
"Fucking asshole." I cut him off correcting him.
"Right a fucking asshole, and maybe we can be friends again?" This time it was me who was silent.
"I don't know Bri, you've hurt me so badly I don't know if I can forgive you."
"I understand."
"But, I've decided that you'll have plenty of time to try to make it up to me so I can forgive you cause I wanna give this another chance." He smiled.
"Awesome, so my darling can I start by buying you a drink?" He asked slinging an arm over my shoulders, just like he used to.
"That my dear sound awesome."