From The NML clones, Labysnitch, we bring you this story, that was orignally going to be a one shot, but it turned into a chaptered story. Oh well.
Disclaimer: We do not own Newsies or the characters thereof. We do not own Star Wars, or any of the characters thereof. We do not own Power Rangers, or any of the kung fu stances thereof. The only thing we DO own, is this story, The Girl, Mrs. Higgins, and Izzy. Enjoy.
Once upon a time, in a close by land... there lived an Italian named Higgins….
He was a fairly normal Italian boy, he went to school, ate pasta, came home from school, ate more pasta, ect. But at nighttime, on Saturdays, and anytime the world was in great peril, he got out a black suit, and mask, and became, DARTH HIGGINS!
One bright, and sunny Saturday morning, his friend Jack came over to his house. Jack had no idea about Higgins's secret and thought that he was a mild mannered Newsie.
"HI YA JACK!" Higgins yelled, bounding out the door, and burying his buddy in a bowl of pasta.
"AHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Jack yelled, panicking, not knowing that it was Higgins.
Higgins' eyes got big in his mask and he ran inside, then came back out, dressed in his normal news-boy attire, "Sorry...I don't know where that thing came from...but it's locked up now..." Race said, picking the noodles off Jack's shirt and eating them.
"Uh... yeah..." Jack said, looking around as if he were going to be attacked suddenly.
"You feeling alright Jack? Come inside, and let Momma fix you up a big bowl of pasta." Race said, pulling him inside.
"Uh... I don't really like pasta... makes you short..." he said, looking down at Higgins.
"Oh...NO IT DON'T!" Race yelled, feeling that he had been insulted, but wasn't really sure since no one had ever insulted him before.
"Then explain why you and Conlon are both so short."
Race chewed his lip thinking, "Conlon eats pasta? I thought he was Irish..."
"He is, but Skitts and I were spying on him the other day, and he has a shrine to pasta in his closet."
"Oh...cool...I knew there was something weird about him... but anyways, you are already tall, so it can't hurt you..." he said, pulling Jack inside again.
"But I don't wanna eat any," Jack said, trying to get away.
"Oh well. You'll hurt Momma's feelings..." Race said.
"All well," Jack said, getting away and running for his life.
Race ran after him, as fast as his short legs could go, but tripped on his big feet and fell flat on his face with a splat...
Jack kept on running and hid in Harlem. Soon, Conlon came down the road, planning on stealing some of Mrs. Higgins' pasta.
Race's little sister, Izzy, was playing in the front yard with her dolls, and saw him coming, "MOMMA, IT'S THAT WEIRD BALLOON GUY!" she screamed.
Conlon jumped, he had thought that his ability to turn his head into a hot air balloon was a secret only he knew. Mrs. Higgins came out with a spoon in her hand, that was dripping red stuff, like blood, only it was pasta sauce,
"You get out of here, you airhead!" she yelled at him, threatening to throw the spoon at him.
Suddenly from behind, something hard hit Conlon and threw his to the ground, trying to bite him as black hair got in his face.
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GET IT OFF!" screamed Conlon, trying to get to his slingshot.
"Never fear, I, Darth Higgins is here!" came a raspy, yet somewhat heroic voice, from on top of a building. There stood a short, version of Darth Vader, who smelled like mozzarella and basil.
The girl whom had attacked him, stole Conlon's sling shot, then kicked him and began to shoot at Higgins, but his helmet protected him.
Conlon suddenly turned into a blubbering mess of little boy
"My...my sling shot..…!!!!" he wailed.
Higgins jumped off the building and took off after the girl laughing his head off...which rolled into a gutter. His body stumbled around, arms out, till he found his head,
"Momma was right...I DID need my bolts tightened..." he said, while screwing his head back on.
The girl vanished, and when Higgins turned down an alley, ambushed him from behind.
"AAHHH!" He screamed, jumping and turning at the same time, then took a really cool kung fu stance that he had seen, while watching Power Rangers that morning.
She frowned at him. "You watch TV to much Higgins..."
"Yes...I know..." he said, in his powerful manly man voice.
She raised an eyebrow, "You're a dork."
Darth Higgins fell down to the ground squeaking, "Ahh...Nooo...hack not...that word..." he choked, writhing around on the ground.
"Higgins is a doooooork, Higgins is a doooork." she chanted in a singsong voice.
Before too long, poor Higgins, had shrunk mouse size, and ran off into a drainage hole, vowing to get revenge.
The girl then went off to find more people to attack…………………