I know I informed you all that I'm not writing under this name any longer, (see LetitiaRichards) but I wanted to post some of my past stories for anyone interested in reading them if they've missed them.

A/N: 1... I know there are two different references in the series, stating that Jack's real name is either John or Jonathon; I'm not really bothered whichever it is, but the latter suited this situation better, so I went with that to cause less confusion later as you will see if and when you read this. Religious quote is from Romans 12.19 in the Christian Bible.

A/N: 2... I had a review for this the other day and it reminded me that I never did upload it onto this site, so here it is, updated and corrected. For those of you who have read my story JUNIOR you will know that this story takes place a few years before that story, and contains the same characters – plus a few more from my own imagination.

Title: "Hello Jonathon!"

Author: Lingren.

Category: AU, Drama, Humour? Hurt/Comfort, Mystery, Romance.

Pairings: Jack/Sam Established.

Season: 5, Just after an unsuccessful mission immediately following 2001.

Spoilers: Chain Reaction, 2001

Warnings: My attempt at humour.

Summary: Jack is ordered to accompany his team to a seminar and social event that he desperately wants to avoid like the plague.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1. No copy-write infringements intended. Just borrowing the characters for a little fun, fantasy and imagination.

Chapter One – Orders Are Orders!

The ringing of the telephone jangled on his nerves causing his headache to notch up a few more decibels.

Jack O'Neill dropped the hand that was massaging his throbbing brow and picked up the receiver with a sigh.

"O'Neill!"

"Colonel! My office, now!" General Hammond barked in his ear.

Jack quickly pulled the phone away from his ear, cringing in pain at the loudness of the General's annoyed tone.

"Yes sir!" he replied meekly. 'Okay? What has him in such a foul mood?' he wondered. What had he done, during the last 4 or 5 hours since he'd been released from the infirmary, that could possibly cause his CO to sound so ticked off with him? Then it hit him.

'Damn!' The seminar.

'Crap!' Daniel must have dropped him right in it.

Jack stood up wearily as he replaced the phone onto its cradle and sucked in a huge breath, holding it for a moment before he released it in a rush. He really, really didn't want to go to this function, but somehow, things were conspiring against him and he couldn't come up with a viable excuse to get out of it. Daniel of course, had jumped at the idea of escorting Sam there, his enthusiasm spilling over into excitement.

So now what was the problem?

"Oh!" He sighed unhappily. He knew exactly what it was, even as he thought it over. Maybe he should have asked his CO if it was okay before he'd said anything to his team-mate.

Too late now! Hammond sounded... 'Damn!'

Jack limped along the corridors as slowly as possible, playing on his injuries as much as he could get away with. He had been hoping that Janet Fraiser hadn't been so willing to release him from the infirmary just yet, but no such luck. The one time he really, really wanted to be kept in there, she went against the grain and allowed him to leave his bed ready for light duties, and had given him her blessing to attend the Seminar. He was so sure that she was in collusion with the General against him.

On reaching Hammond's office, he knocked on the open door, waiting for his Commander to acknowledge his presence.

General Hammond looked up, taking in the battered appearance of his 2IC. Jack leaned against the doorframe, accentuating the need to prop himself up on something just to keep him upright. With his left arm still nestled in the light blue sling around his neck; his face still showing the remnants of the bruises from his last desperate escape from unfriendly natives; he really looked the epitome of the wounded soldier.

According to Daniel, when he'd finally, belatedly, understood the reasons for the sudden attack, the meeting with the natives had all gone pear-shaped the moment Jack took his cap off to scrub a hand through his short hair. They apparently had an inborn aversion to his grey hair because somehow in their warped mythological past, it represented the evil one. One whom they drove from their land with rocks, clubs and pointed sticks; and all unfortunately to Jack's detriment.

The rest of his team had returned unscathed, though rightly rattled at their hasty exit.

Hammond raised a hand and beckoned him in.

"Come in Colonel. Take a seat!"

"Thank you sir."

Jack limped in and eased his abused body into the comfy chair, sighing in relief.

"Still sore Jack?"

"Ya think?" he quipped, bringing a smirk to Hammond's lips.

"Dr. Frasier says you're fit enough for light duties now, so that does include sitting in a chair listening to an afternoon of lectures Jack..."

"At any other time I would be more...or less, willing sir, but does it have to be this one?" he begged. Did he just whine? Nope! Jack O'Neill never whined. Begged maybe, but he'd never whine. Would he?

"In this instance, yes it does son. Your name was specifically mentioned in the memo from the Whitehouse," Hammond said with a wry grin, knowing how much Jack hated to sit through one lecture, let alone several in one afternoon and evening. "I understand there's to be a buffet afterwards...with beer," he added as if that fact alone might help persuade Jack into actually agreeing to go.

Jack grimaced, playing his trump card.

"That's not gonna happen General! Doc's forbidden me to have any alcohol sir. She said it wouldn't mix well with my medication!" he groused, hoping that it might dissuade the General from making him attend the whole damn lecture farce.

General Hammond sighed regretfully; he'd forgotten that little detail.

"I also understand you tried to persuade Dr. Jackson to take your place?" Hammond had gotten down to the real reason he was a little upset.

Jack felt guilty. It had been a desperate attempt on his behalf to get out of attending what could very well turn out to be not only the most boring but also the most disastrous seminar ever.

"Yes sir, I did," he admitted slowly. "I though that Daniel would be more suited to escort Carter. He actually 'likes' listening to all that cra...em...stuff, sir."

"You've had your orders Jack. I don't take too kindly to my orders being undermined."

"No sir. I'm sorry," he apologised with a sigh, "I didn't mean any disrespect by it General. I just didn't expect to be leaving the infirmary so soon."

Hammond smirked at that, knowing his quiet word with the good Doctor had made her revise her precautions. Especially knowing that Jack was going to be seated the whole time and accompanied by his team-mates.

"Actually it was a good suggestion Colonel. In fact Dr. Jackson came straight to me with his concerns and when I explained everything, he asked if he could go anyway. When I enlightened him that possibly you were only fishing for an excuse to get out of going, he was a little put out, shall we say."

Hammond was satisfied when Jack's head shot up from studying the floor.

"I was...em...I mean, I was? Fishing sir? Who me?" Jack gulped, trying hard to look innocent, but the General knew better. 'Oh man!' Jack sighed. 'I wish I was at my cabin fishing!'

"Yes Jack. You were! There is no valid reason whatsoever that I know of, as to why you should not attend this function. This is not a simple invitation Jack. It's a direct order from the President himself. I had no part in this, I swear," Hammond replied assuredly. "If it was up to me...well, let's say I wouldn't be sitting here trying to coerce you into attending."

"Yes sir, thank you sir. I understand that now General."

Jack really was desperate to avoid this. However, Hammond had his orders from above. Someone really wanted Jack there. Who it was, Hammond couldn't think of anyone in particular, and he didn't really want to know either, but it was his job to see that his 2IC did form one of the party from the SGC that was to attend. Sam Carter was also a guest speaker, so naturally why not let all of SG-1 go, despite only Jack being ordered to attend?

"Can you explain to me," Hammond asked curiously. Something had obviously spooked his second and he would like to why that was the case. "just why it is that you're trying to avoid this Jack?"

Jack paused before answering. He really didn't want to go into any details and he certainly wasn't going to explain the real reason either. It would sound so pathetic to anyone else. The General was sure to think him more than just plain stupid.

"No sir, I can't. It's...I really do hate sitting through lectures General, you know me," he pleaded, trying to get it through to his senior officer that he needed an out. "Unless it's for a mission, I..."

"There is no way out of this I'm afraid Jack. You will be going!"

Jack blew out a harsh breath and slumped back in the chair.

"Yes sir!" he sighed.

"All ready sir?" Sam asked brightly.

She was in the locker room helping to ease him into the Jacket of his dress blues while trying to avoid jostling his wounded shoulder. She helped him to replace the sling once more and then handed him his peaked cap.

"No!" he pouted sullenly, but Sam just smiled and pressed a finger to his lips, blowing him a kiss.

The pout morphed into kiss in reply, and then a grin when the finger disappeared.

Sam stood back and checked him over, making sure he was presentable and taking a moment to admire him in his dress blues. God...he was sooo damn handsome when he was wearing his uniform, she sighed.

Back in 2IC mode once more, she continued...

"Personally, I can't see why you're so set against this sir. Professor Neill is a widely respected authority on Cosmological Physics and is well known for his Theoretical..."

"Ack!" Jack held up his finger to stop her. "Stop right there Carter!" he ordered. "I know all about it! Daniel keeps ranting and raving on, singing the man's praises. I couldn't care if he was the last professor..." he swallowed that thought harshly, closing his eyes briefly as if in pain. He didn't mean that, he knew that he didn't. Couldn't. "I just don't need you to lecture me on this, okay? It's bad enough that I have to sit through his 'waffle' tonight. I sooo do not want to hear any hero worship from you either."

"You've heard of him?"

"Oh yeah!"

Sam opened her mouth to ask where from, but Jack shook his index finger at her, silently telling her not to pursue it.

"I just thought that you might have been interested in the subject sir," she managed to say, ignoring his deepening frown. "I know you love all that stargazing. And then, I am one of the speakers too!" she replied with a grin. He would have to hear her lecture on Astrophysics as well.

"Yes. And?" he asked narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Nothing sir, unless you're going to wander off and find the men's room while I'm giving my address."

Jack glared archly at her, hurt by her insinuation that he would behave so pettishly during her own lecture. Professor Neill's maybe, but not hers. He loved the sound of her voice, even if he believed she was sure that he didn't have any idea of what she was saying most of the time.

"That's a little below the belt, don't ya think Carter?"

Sam just grinned.

"There's always a first time sir!"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, a first time you might actually listen...sir," she countered with a smirk.

Jack couldn't help but laugh in reply. He loved it when they could relax in each other's company, without the pressure of regulations limiting them. He grinned, indicating the door. It was time to go.

"For you Carter...I'll even try not to look bored."

TBC