Kama, Kama Wave
Sum: Kama means gay. What happens when Goku screws up in battle with Vegeta and Freeza? Mild VegetaGoku pairing. Very, very, very funny. One-shot, no lemon but totally cute!
The battlefield was filled with an air of dread as Goku, Vegeta, and Freeza squared off in a 3-way powermatch. The two Saiyans, though on the same side, were finding it hard to work together as a team. Mainly because Vegeta was being a dick-head as usual.
"Quiet Kakarot!" the prince roared, glaring heatedly at his partner who grinned back, only proving to anger the Saiyan further. Goku's child-like innocence could be rather infuriating in the best of times, but now, in the midst of battle, it was downright unbearable!
"Oh, come on, Vegeta. If we're going to beat this guy-" (or girl, he wasn't sure what Freeza was) "then we have to work together as a team. Alright?"
"No, moron, not alrigt!" Vegeta spat, ignoring the impulse to stick out his tounge out at Goku.
Goku sighed defeatedly and ran a hand through his untamable dark brown, nearly black hair. Honestly, he loved working with his fellow comrade-Vegeta was so cool, how could he not?!- but the Saiyan prince's temper was quite a problem.
He stared across the battlefield at the chuckling Freeza.
Said villian was about to crack up. 'They're like quareling lovers!' she-him-it thought with a snigger. 'If they continue like this, I'll defeat them with little to no effort!' Shimit laughed louder.
Vegeta grinded his teeth angrily. Freeza was laughing at him? Him?! Prince Vegeta?! The ruler of all Saiyans?! The nerve!
Pissed as fuck, Vegeta charged headlong at the odd looking creature before him. Freeza was counting on that and easily dodged a series of Vegeta's lightning fast kicks and punches. he villian ducked a blow to his head and retaliated with an energy laced punch to the Saiyan's gut, making Vegeta gasp and choke on his own blood.
Then Freeza threw Vegeta straight through a cliff.
(A/N: Sorry, but have you noticed that no matter where the Z-fighter's fight, there are always cliffs. And someone always goes crashing throuh them. Okay, back to the Kama, Kama wave.)
"Oh no," Goku gasped in horror. Vegeta was just laying at the base of the cliff in a daze. "Vegeta! You oka-!"
But befor he could finish saying anything, Freeza was upon him landing kicks, punches, jabs, and energy attacks into Goku's unguarded abdomen.
Unable to defend, Goku was easily beaten back 40 feet by Freeza' s unrelenting attacks. 'I have to break free! Come on Goku, get it together!' he rallied mentally. Grabbing Freeza's oncoming fist, Goku slammed the creature up against a nearby cliff and jumped on powerful legs into the air.
He hovered for a moment, ki rising in his body and focusing in his hand. 'It's now or never.' His hair swayed with the yellow energy surrounding his body before it finally stood on end. His eyes bored into Freeza's with fierce determination. "This ends NOW Freeza!" his vioce thundered. "I can't allow you to keep harming innocents... blah blah... yadda yadda... who cares, your not listening to me anyway."
(A/N: You know how overly dramatic the show can get. I'm not good at drama so... yeah, fill it in.)
Reaching Super Saian level, Goku prepared his attack. Freeza had been buried so far in the cliff, it was nearly impossible for shimit to get out.
Pulling his arms back, Goku got into his infamous stance.
"Ka-"
And then the oddest thing happened. A poor helpless, defenseless fly that was looking for a place to land had the misfortune to fly straight into Goku's open mouth...
making the Saiyan gag...
and instead yell...
"KAMA KAMA WAVE!!!"
Freeza watched in stunned astonishment as the attack raced to him at an unbeatable speed, his last thought:
'Is that a rainbow?'
Vegeta's eyes flew open in time to see a rather colorful rainbow hit the earth in an ear-shattering, blood-curling, gut-wrenching, hair-ripping, nose-bleed causing, lunch-spewing twittering of happiness.
The craggy ground blossomed with medows of flowers and trees. Pink bunnies and blue ponies dashed about. Hundreds of multicolored butterflies and avain birds flew about with mesmerizing grace.
And in the middle of all this was Freeza...
standing next to a purple, pink maned unicorn with orange eyes, and silver horn...
wearing a pink dress with yellow flowers...
and a golden wig...
Yes, you just heard right.
Freeza is next to a unicorn and he's wearing a pink dress with flowers and he has on a wig that looks suspiciously like Goldielock's.
On top of that...?!
He's skipping around in circles singing:
I'm coming out! Da Da!
I want the world to know!
Got to let it show! Pa-da-da, Pa-da-da!
I'm...!!
Coming...!!
OUT!!!!
Its time for me to break out my shell!
I want to tell the world that
THAT I AM COMING OUT!!!!!!!!!!
Vegeta's eyes widened in horror. "What the FUCK?!"
Still in the air, Goku's eyes also widened at the interesting scene below him. He glanced at his hands surprised... and then grinned mischeviously. 'Hmmm... if the... Kama Kama Wave can do that to someone like Feeza...' With that thought, he turned to his next victim...
Vegeta, of course.
"KAMA KAMA WAVE!!!"
Once again, a rainbow sprouted from his hands. It hit its mark percisely. There was no evading it. The attack was too swift.
A few seconds passed and then, finally, Goku saw Vegeta... and had to drop his jaw in shock. Vegeta...
was exactly the same!
Same glare!
Same scowl!
(A/N: Same hot bod! P)
Said Saiyan's mouth opened in a ferral snarl. "Kakarot!"
Goku's eyes widened. 'Crap! Why isn't it working?!'
"KAMA KAMA WAVE!!!"
Nothing.
"KAMA KAMA WAVE!!!"
Still nothing.
"KAMA KAMA WAVE!!!"
Nope. Nada.
Vegeta's eye twitched in anger. Goku had been using the 'Gay Gay Wave' for the past ten minutes. At first, the Saiyan had been infuriated but now... Well, he could see a bit of humor in the situation.
(A/N: Holy crap! Veggie Tales has a sense of humor! Somebody call the New Yorker!)
Vegeta finally sighed. Jumping into the sky, he flew over to the heaving Goku. The rainbows must have been draining. "Kakarot... are you dense or what?..."
Goku's head cocked to the side in confusion... and then black eyes widened in surprised astonishment. "Your..."
"Yes."
That said, Vegeta tackled Goku and raped him.
Well, technically, it wasn't rape. Goku never laid a hand to stop him.
Freeza giggled to itself, still skipping around his pony, now singing his new favorite song:
Everybody-Yeah! Yeah!
Rock your body- Yeah! Yeah!
Everybody
Rock your body right! Da na na!
Back streets back- ALRIGHT!!!
-This fic was dedicated to my friend Ookami K. May the Kama Kama Wave forever burn in your heart!
-Oh, I don't own the DBZ characters (but I do own the storyline of this fic. i'm broke, i'll sue your ass for stealing my idea.) or any songs.