Universe. Earth. Japan. Tokyo. NPA-Headquarters. A place full of...what? Even for the narrators it's too much. They're cowering in corners and eat potato chips, while the Kira case was already solved.
Anyway, NPA-headquarters. Let's start.
Near: *finishes his 102784787535th white puzzle*
Rester: *still having a familiar sock with pink liquid in the mouth*
Near: I got a call by the President of the United States. I'll be away for a few days.
Linder: What? Now? In this time?
Near: Yeah. Will you be alright? *stares to Rester*
Rester: *stares back* mmmpf!
Near: *sigh* could you please get our newcomer?
Linder: Alright. *takes out some chocolate and makes a weird dance move*
Near: err...Linder, what are you doing?
Linder: uh, calling the newbie, you know.
Near: ...ah...
*suddenly a ball of energy rolls into the room as fast as a lightening bolt*
*the chocolate has disappeared from Linder's hand*
Linder:...
Rester: Oh no...
* Pompingdon sit's on the floor smearing chocolate on a puzzle and occasionally sticking pieces to their face*
Near: Thank you Linder
Rester: Why have you called them in here exactly...?
Near: I need someone to guard the place when I'm gone
Rester: And you want them-
*stares at Pompingdon who is doing a chicken dance*
-to guard the head-quarters...
Near: Yes.
Rester: But...
Near: Don't worry you'll be here too.
Rester:...
*hops over to the desk*
HEAD-DESK!
Pompingdon: I accept your challenge! But first you must give me the golden monkey
Near: What...monkey?
Rester: Don't do this to me, Near! *jumps behind the desk like some random James Bond*
Near: Rester, don't worry about this. Sir Pompingdon is very responsible and reasonable.
*finishes his superXXLmasterprosudoku-cube*
Ryuk *still in a maid dress*: Did I smell Chocolate?
Rester: *murmurs* Oh no...Not him...
Near: Well, we had chocolate.
*stares to a certain ball of energy who's currently doing the turtle dance*
Ryuk: ARRRGH, I'm so sick of this...I always smell food and then there isn't any! :( ARRGH *tares off his maid dress like King Kong*
Linder: Near, when are you going to leave?
Near: Today. In a few hours.
Rester: *shocked* WHAT? Give me some mental preparing time!
Near: ... Don't you just need a few seconds for this?
Rester: I'm NOT you! *stands up, runs away while crying, leaves the room*
Near:...Linder could you please take him his cuddle bear in 3 hours or so, he needs time to calm down.
Linder: Yes sir
Ryuk: HEY THAT'S MY BEAR!
Linder: NOT ANY MORE! BWU HA HA HA HAAAAA!
*Runs out the room with the bear*
*Ryuk sidesteps after him*
Near: Well I better get going, come Aizawa
Aizawa: Yes Near.
*They leave room*
Sir. Mimsy Pompingdon:...That's strange...I'm sure Near doesn't like flying...Is he going by ferry...No that's absurd, it's much quicker by giraffe...
-3 hours later-
*Rester walks into the headquarters*
Rester: Only my sweet cuddle bear understands me...I wonder if near is still-
*his eyes widen in Fear*
Rester: OH GOD, WHO ISN'T A MASS MURDER, *cough* Kira *cough*, NO!
Pompingdon: Oh, good day Rester.
*There is a person with brown hair with little cat ears sitting at a tea table with Mimsy*
*THEY ARE BOTH HOLDING CUPS FROM STARBUCKS*
Rester: Mimsy! You didn't!
*Mimsy grins evilly*
Pompingdon: Oh yes, I did...
*they get up slowly cup still in hand*
Pompingdon: I ORDERED ALL OUR COFFEE FROM STARBUCKS! Ah ha ha!
Rester: You!- Wait! No! That's not what I meant!...Who...who's is that?!
Pompingdon:
*still holding coffee cup*
Huh?
*Rester is pointing at the person with cat ears*
Pompingdon: Ah! This is my friend, Mee.
Rester: You?
Pompingdon: No, Mee.
Rester: Mee?
Pompingdon: No, her.
Rester: What?!
Mee: That's my name
*Mee stands up*
Mee: M-E-E, Mee.
*Rester looks confused*
Rester: Mimsy you have friends?
Pompingdon: Certainly...why does that surprise you so?
*Rester stares at Mimsy*
Rester: You're...you're acting almost normal...
Mee: That's because of the wombats.
Rester: Actually I was going to ask if you had that eff-...wait, what did you say?
Mee: Wombats.
Rester:...Please don't tell me you're like Mimsy...
Mee: Of course not!
Rester: Phew...for a minute there-
Mee: I'm even better! I've come to help cheer you up!
*Rester steps back a bit*
Rester:...What...
Mee turns to Mimsy
Mee: You're right he is infected with cornflakes.
Pompingdon: Heh heh heh, washbaskets...
Rester: ?
*Mee pulls out a rope*
Mee: I think it's time for treatment
Rester: What treatment?
Pompingdon: Ah, yes...It seems we will have to use...the BPTF!
Rester: W-what's the BPTF?
Mee: ROPE TIME!
Rester falls over some chairs
*Mee and Mimsy loom over him*
Rester: NO STAY AWAY FROM ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-10 minutes later-
*Gevanni walks into the office*
Gevanni: I'm so glad I solved that odd case of the missing wasabi...I wonder where near is-
*he looks around*
Gevanni: What the!-
*he sees Rester shaking in fear with two people looming over him, a girl with brown hair and cat ears is holding a thick rope and the other person taking out a big pink fluffy thing*
Gevanni: *steps back* What happened?
Rester: SAVE ME!
Mee: I don't need to be saved.
Rester: Damn-it! I didn't mean you!
Mee: Well, shut up Rester! Mimsy, the BPTF!
Sir Mimsy Pompingdon: Oh, we forgot the HPFC's!
Mee: WHA-! How could we forget them?
Pompingdon: Wait, I'll get them!
*ball of energy rolls out of the room*
Rester: *weeps*
Gevanni: ... Who are these persons, Rester?
Rester: Don't ask, SAVE ME! From those crazy psychos!
Mee: That's not nice, Rester. *stretches rope* *evil Kira laughter*
Gevanni: Rester, you're a coward...
Mee: Yep.
Gevanni: You could beat this girl *points to Mee* easily!
Mee: *nods* Nope.
Gevanni: See?! ... Wait, what?
Mee: Since I'm a friend of Mimsy you should expect more from me!
*suddenly dances the Kira dance*
*a tortoise crawls over the floor to Mee*
Gevanni: ...she sure reminds me of Mimsy...
Mee: *puts handcuffs and bunny ears on Rester*
Rester: What are you doing?! STOP!
Gevanni: *stares at Rester, sitting on the floor in pink bunny ears and blue plastic handcuffs*
Gevanni: ...
Rester: ...
Mee: That's it. Now we have to wait for Mimsy.
*the phone rings*
Ryuk: Hello?
Gevanni: When did the Shinigami get here?
Rester: Why is he wearing my cuddle bear on his head?
Gevanni: Huh?
Rester: What?
Gevanni:...
Rester:...
Ryuk: What? I can't understand...pass to Rester?...I thinks he's busy at the moment-
Rester: -NO I'M NOT!
Ryuk: Yeah...he really can't talk right now...
Rester: Is that Near?! HELP ME NEAR!
Pompingdon: Well I couldn't find any glue so would watermelon be okay?
Rester: AGGHH!
Pompingdon: What's his problem?
*Rester bashes his head against the floor*
Ryuk: Call for you-
*passes phone to Mimsy*
Pompingdon: Moshi Moshi.
Hai…Hai…ah soka…
Rester: Who is it?
*Mimsy turns to the control panel*
-IGNORED-
Pompingdon: The red button? What about the one that says pyjamas? What?! That can't be possible! You're a liar…oh no wait I see it now
Rester: ?
*Mimsy presses a button*
Near: Ugggghhhh…Rester?
Rester: Near?
Pompingdon: So that's how he does it…
Mee: Who?
Pompingdon: Daniel Craig.
Rester: ?
Near: I-I really don't like this plane…I want to get of
Aizawa: Near we can't get off were 30,000 ft of ground…
Near: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
Rester: Calm down near, it's okay, you're completely safe in that plane I promise
Near: But planes crash?
Ryuk: What's a plane?
Rester: …That's very unlikely-
Near:-But there's still a probability!
Gevanni: Please calm down, Near. Nothing will happen.
Near: But...
*some loud cracking noises are echoing out the speakers*
Random Pilot: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I welcome you to the first CRASH this plane will have! Sorry, but huh, bye!
Steward: But Mr. Pilot, what's with us?
Random Pilot: Is that my problem?
Steward: ...eh...yes?
Random Pilot: ...
Random Pilot: Something I should care about?
*more crackling noises*
Steward: What are you doing! NO! Don't!
Random pilot: Bye!
Co-pilot: Ehehehe! D
Steward: ...damn those pilots...oh, the mic is on! Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane's about to crash. But please keep calm and put the lifejackets on. STAY CALM!
click
Near: Gevanni...What did you say exactly?
Gevanni: Uhm...
Ryuk: That's gonna be fun! *hyuk hyuk*
Near: O_O
Mee: AWESOME! PLANE CRASH! *shoves yellow grapes in Rester's mouth*
Rester: mmpf!
Mee: Can't wait to see Batman saving the plane!
*the plane shakes a bit*
Mee: huiiii!
Near: Waaah! Save me, Watari! *clings onto Gevanni*
Ryuk: Near...you realize you're cute, right?
Mee: AWWWWW! Cuddle me too, Near-chan!
Near: *blushes into a deep dark red* we're all are going to die!
Mee: Nah, not with Mimsy and me in company!
*plane quakes*
Pompingdon:
*strokes invisible goatee*
I'm sure Watari's dead…
Mee: Hmm?
Near: Where's a shinigami when I need one!?
Linder: Ryuk…
Rester: MMPH!
*Gevanni kicks Rester*
*Ryuk takes a few seconds to think*
Ryuk:…Fine I'll save him…
Linder: I should think so too.
Gevanni: What have you been doing all this time Linder?
Linder: I've been throwing confetti off the top of the building
Gevanni:…
Linder:…
Mee:…
Rester: MPPH!
Sir. Mimsy Pompingdon:...
Gevanni: Well I guess that explains all those spontaneous marriages
Gevanni:…
Linder:…
Mee:…
Rester: MPPH!
Sir. Mimsy Pompingdon:...
Gevanni: What? Can't I be random for once?
Linder:…
Mee:…
STOP THIS AT ONCE!
*Everyone turns round*
Mee: Oh, hey Mr. Narrator dude.
ENOUGH! ENOUGH I SAY! ENOUGH WITH THE TEDIOUS, INFURIATIJNG PAUSES! ENOUGH WITH THE SHOVING OF RANDOM THINGS INTO RESTERS MOUTH-
*Ryuk sniggers*
-IT'S NOT FUNNY! I'M SURPRISED THE MAN HASN'T CHOCKED TO DEATH!
*Rester is unconscious*
AND YOU!
*Points at…me?-Who me?*
YES YOU! STOP STATING EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON! IT'S STUPID PEOPLE CAN SEE WHAT'S GOING ON THERE ARE PICTURES! THIS IS A MANGA!
Linder: Actually Death note's the manga, this is a fanfic there are no pictures here.
SHUT UP! DON'T PATRONISE ME!
Mee: I'm not offended…
NOT YOU! AHHHHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, THIS IS JUST COMNPLETE NONSENSE!
Sir. Mimsy Pompingdon: Would you like sugar with that?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*The Narrator precipitates out of the window*
I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT!
*Sorry…*
…
Linder: Ryuk? Aren't you supposed to be saving near?
Ryuk: Opps, yeah, sorry, I forgot…
Rester: Damn Shinigami…
Mee: DETENTION!
Rester: Wha!...
Mee: Where's Near?
Ryuk: Oh right, what does this guy look like?
Mee: White hair, black eyes. With a puzzle hidden under his white clothes which look like...yeah, what exactly?
Gevanni: They're called pyjamas. I observed Near well. *silly-face on*
Mee: As well as you observed Kira?
Gevanni: *looks away* I don't know what you're talking about...
Linder: Oh, come on, people, we're off-topic again!
Ryuk: *hyuk hyuk* So, does anyone have apple?
Linder: We need to find Near!
Ryuk: I need apples.
Mee: ...like humans need alcohol and drugs, right?
Ryuk: HOW. DO. YOU. KNOW. THIS?!
Mee: *shrugs* I'm just some manga otaku...*looks out the window Gevanni's also looking to*
Gevanni: Nice clouds...
Mee: yeah...They're so yellow and rainbow-coloured.
*awkward silence*
Linder: ahem...Where's Near?
Mee: *stares intensely out the window*
Ryuk: *focuses on an iPhone some passenger was using*
*Dear children, please turn off your phones while the plane's flying. Do not take an example on this passenger.*
*click*
Rester: Thank god I don't have things in my mouth anymore...
Linder: AHEM! NEAR!
Mee: What's with this interesting cloud over there?
Gevanni: Oh, yeah, it's interesting!
Ryuk: Gimme the apple... *tries to get iPhone*
Mee: Oh, wait...That isn't a cloud, is it?
Gevanni: Yeah, now that you say it...
*both press their faces on the glass*
Mee: Could it be...
Gevanni: Ryuk...You failed as a Shinigami. Sorry. We'll have to call Grelle…probably.
Mee: That means no apples for you anymore.
Ryuk: Wha-?!
Linder: COULD ANYONE PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! *runs into corner crying*
Rester: I agree with Linder. We have to find Near.
Mee: There he is.
Pompingdon: I'm also here, you know!
Mee: Oh, hey! Sorry, what have you been doing? And what's HE doing here?
Gevanni: Dat cloud is Near...ROFL...
Linder: Gevanni. NO DRUGS, how many times do I have to say this?!
Gevanni: But it's Near!
Ryuk: *got the phone successfully from the passenger* Bah, this tastes like crap. *crunches loudly*
Mee: It does. I tasted it once.
Ryuk: ...
Mee: ... -_-… ; )
Ryuk: Could you be a Shinigami too?
Mee: Nope.
Ryuk: Awww…
Mee: By the way, Gevanni's right. And MIMSY, tell me, what is HE doing here?!
Linder: NO DRUGS! For a week! To all of you!
Mee: I just drink tea without sugar. O.o
Gevanni: Near's a funny cloud! *giggles*
Pompingdon: Are we on a plane?
Mee: It's not my place to say
Gevanni: True…
Linder: What was I just telling you about drugs?!
Rester: EVERYBODY QUEIT!
…
*Everyone is silent*
Gevanni: How is it the narrator could point when they're just a voice?
Linder: Are you still going on about that?!
Rester: SHUT UP!
*Linder is taken aback*
Rester: This is all out of hand! I don't know if it's drugs, gas or just plain randomness, but we have to save Near from that plane, and …NOW WHO'S GOING TO STOP MUCKING ABOUT AND ATUALLY HELP?!
*Gevanni glances towards window*
Gevanni: No point here comes Near now…
*Near is flying through the sky carried by who has a jetpack*
*they fly through the smashed window*
Rester:…Near are you okay?
Near: *emotionless* yes.
Rester: Oh.
: What happened here? Who smashed the window?
Mee: The narrator.
: Who?
Linder: Hey where'd you get the jetpack from?
: Oh, we stole it from a Kira worshiper back in L.A during the last Kira case.
Gevanni: I see, had he any carrots at all?
: What? I don't know?
Linder: Sorry about him, he's gravely intoxicated…
Mee: Ah yes that might be the Francium I put in his tea
Linder: The what?!
Pompingdon: What?!
*Gevanni twirls in circles*
Gevanni: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Linder: How could you-
Pompingdon: YOU HAD TEA WITHOUT ME!
Mee: Well…
Pompingdon: That's it! We're through!
*takes friendship stick out of blue hair and uses it as nunchucks against Rester*
Mee: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rester: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH!
Mr. Aizawa: I should've taken the week off…
Mee: DON'T use our friendship stick! Rester doesn't deserve to be touched by it! D
Rester: AAAAAH!
Pompingdon: Just a bit longer! *hits Rester on the nose*
Aizawa: Okay guys, calm down please!
Mee: NO!
Linder: Huh? Where's Near? Did he disappear again?
Mee: I don't care! Look, Rester's getting blue!
*points out to Rester who gets strangled by Mimsy*
Rester: *Cough cough*
Mee: Haaah, funny! Keep going on, Mims!
Aizawa: Now, what's more important? Saving Rester or finding Near?
Linder: Near.
Mee: Near.
Ryuk: Apples.
Mimsy: Near.
Gevanni: Near.
Rester: *COUGHBLAEAREGGHCOUGH*
Aizawa: 'kay, let's search for our lost child.
Linder: *nods and takes out a giant yellow scythe*
Gevanni: What's that Linder?
Linder: If you don't know this, you're no cop! *clicks a green button on the...thing*
Gevanni: What..?
Rester: *AARRGHH COUGH COUGH!*
Aizawa: *sigh* let's search for Near!
Mee: Nah, I'll help Mimsy for a while.
Ryuk: Me too. *hyuk hyuk* Perhaps I'll get an apple.
Mee: No, you won't.
Ryuk: WHAT!? WHY?
Mee: Because you can't bring your own food into the plane.
Linder: indeed, indeed. *takes a potato chip and EATS IT*
Aizawa: Oh, isn't that Near?
*points to a seat under which white hair's looking out*
Linder: *sighs* Then I didn't have to use the Bonboa.
Gevanni: the…What?
Linder: If you don't know this you're not a cop. BAM.
Gevanni: *starts sobbing in a corner*
Aizawa: *grabs white hair*
Everyone watches while Aizawa is pulling on the white hair.
Suddenly there's a hiss and Aizawa jumps back!
Aizawa: No, it's a CAT! D:
Sebastian: Did someone say cat?
Mee: Piss off, you're in the wrong fanfiction.
Sebastian: But ... CATS!
Mee: Just go. Or do I have to call Ciel?
Sebastian: No, No, I'll go now.
Aizawa: Who was that guy?
Mee: Just an acquainted Akuma.
Lidner: Akuma?
Mee: You're better off not knowing it.
Near: It's Japanese and means demon.
Lidner: *jumpscares* NEAR! WHERE WERE YOU?
Aizawa: We've been searching you! (for one minute tough)
Near: ...
Pompingdon: I missed killing Sebastian didn't I…
Mee: Indeed.
Aizawa: Kill?!
Near: you're not confessing to be a murderer are you?
Pompingdon: I was considering…Sebastian's just lucky he's not Sasuke...GRRRRR!
*Sasuke Uchiha walks in*
Sasuke: Urgh…My life sucks.
Pompingdon: ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
*Mimsy does a awesome Ninja kick into Sasuke's face and he shots through the ceiling*
-Parts of the ceiling fall to the floor and dust mingles about the headquarters-
Rester: *surprised face*
-Mee whacks Rester over the head with the photocopier-
Mee: ^^
Pompingdon: Anyway since Near's back-
*Sasuke falls past the window*
Sasuke: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Gevanni: You know that cheered me up a little
Pompingdon: T.T Sasuke Uchiha…always ruins everything
Linder: Well what were you going to say…
Pompingdon:…I forgot…D':
Rester: I'll start tidying up…
Ryuk: Where's my hula skirt?
Mee: I don't know! I definitely did not eat it! No Sir!
Pompingdon: Yes.
Mee: Not you-
Pompingdon: Hmpf! Well I know when I'm not wanted!
Linder: Oh dear…
Mee: Wait! No! I didn't!
-Rester smiles-
Near: That's not pleasant Rester
-Rester blushes-
Rester: Sorry N!
Linder: *gasp* Rester you're so adorable when you blush! 8D
Aizawa: I'm clocking out; this is just getting weirder and weirder
Near: That happens when is here
Pompingdon: What are you suggesting?!
Gevanni: NOTHING! JUST DON'T JUMP IN FRONT OF THAT TRAIN!
Mee: What train?
*Gevanni points behind Mimsy*
-A train is hurtling towards the SPK members-
Gevanni: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Tiny toy train hits Mimsy's shoe*
Pompingdon: *puts hand on Gevanni's shoulder*
Okay Gevanni, I think you need a rest…
Linder: I'll remove him, come on Gevanni piggy back
Gevanni climbs onto Linder back and sucks his thumb; Linder carries Gevanni out the room
Mee: Oh, finally he's gone. He was a bit too high.
Pompingdon: I agree! The hula skirt was delicious!
Rester: Oh, wait, why are we in the headquarters again?
Near: We used Mr. Aizawa's backpack, while you were unconscious, because Mee used her pencil.
Aizawa: Right, you were sleeping like a baby that time. That was cute.
Mee: No, it was like an ugly drooling baby.
Rester: I'm not a baby!
Pompingdon: No one said that! But where's my slipper?
Mee: Don't know.
Near: I don't either.
Rester: And what's this thing on your head, Near-samma?
Near: Samma?
-Rester blushes-
Mee: Oh, right, that thing.. Isn't that your slipper?
-Mee holds a Turkish slipper with a pink unicorn which is farting rainbows on it-
Pompingdon: No, that isn't mine! D: Mine has Kira, with hearts and sparkles and LIGHTNING!
Mee: ...
Near: Are you confessing being a Kira-worshipper?
Mee: okay...Whose slipper is it then?
Pompingdon: Probably Aizawas!
Aizawa: IT'S NOT MINE! I need to leave!
Ryuk: Oh, there's my slipper!
-grabs the slipper out of Mee's hand and puts it into a maid dress-
Mee: You kinda seem to have an obsession with Maid dresses...
Ryuk: Yeah. Even Kira had to obey me.
Near: Does that mean...
Pompingdon: ...Kira wore a pumpkin?
Near: I actually wanted to say something different.
Ryuk: How did you know he wore pumpkin?
Pompingdon: It's on my bag, which I bought in an anime store!
Near: Are you confessing being a Kira worshipper by buying a bag with his face in a pumpkin on it?
Mee: Near, stop it. Mimsy only bought this bag as a sign of our friendship! D
Near: Really?
Aizawa: Yup.
-takes out a pink bag with Kira's evil-laughter-face on it.-
Mee: Oh, don't forget the pandas.
Near: What on earth is this?
Mee: Should we take you to said store? There are also Shirts with your face on it~!
Ryuk: And mine too! With crabs! I'm really a celebrity!
Pompingdon: No, you aren't!
Ryuk: Why?
Pompingdon: If you were, you'd be chased by THESE all the time!
-points to a heap of girls hiding behind a tree-
Girls: KYAAAH! NEAAR! LOOK AT MY SHIRT! WE LOVE YOUU!
Near: Oh no, not…fangirls... Mee! Help me! Mee?
Mee: OHHH, nice shirt! Where did you buy it?
Girls: WE MADE IT BY OURSELVES! KYAAA! NEAR'S SO KAWAAII!
Aizawa: Could you lower your voice, please? I'm getting dizzy
Pompingdon: - jumps behind them while wearing something…pink- BOO!
Girls: KYYAAAH! -run screaming away-
Mee: Thanks, Mimsy, they were starting to get annoying.
Pompingdon: NOW YOU HAVE TO GET ME A BLUEBERRY TART!
Mee: A...WHAT?
Pompingdon: *suddenly stops freaking out*
Mee: …Are you okay Mimsy?
Pompingdon: He's here…I can…sense him…
Mee: Who?
Pompingdon: *dramatic spinning round and pointing*
HIM!
-Pointing at Misa-
Misa: Hey!
Mee: That's Misa…I think she's a girl…
Misa: I am a girl!
Near: I don't think he meant Misa.
Mee: Hmm? *follows Mimsy's finger to said place*
*gasp* it can't be!
Rester: Oh it is…*steps back a bit*
Pompingdon: PERVY SAGE!
-A tall fellow with long white hair is crouching down next to Misa trying (and succeeding) to look up her skirt
Pervy Sage: he he he he
Misa: UWWAAAAHHHHH!
*steps back*
…
Mee: …
Sir. Mimsy Pompingdon:…
Misa:…Good thing there was no cake for me to step on…heh heh…that would've been embarrassing…heh…
Mee: Yes…yes it would be
*Long pause*
Pompingdon: Anyway…I'm going to retire-
Near: Going so soon?
Pompingdon: Indeed, I am completely drained of chakra jellybeans
*Pervy Sage rolls eyes*
Near: Well it is abnormally even Aizawa is still here
Aizawa: WHY AM I STILL HERE!?
Near:- No one knows…
Mee: Come to think of it's only 10:30am
Rester: Huh? When did your flight leave Near?
Near: 10:20am.
Mee: Even I know that's impossible and there duck attacking my leg
Duck: Quack!
Rester: Mee's got a point
Mee: Stop taking all the credit!
Rester: :(
Near: But this would mean that everything that has happened up to now, (since I left) , has happened in the space of 10 minutes…
Sir. Mimsy Pompingdon: BUT HOW?!
Misa: What's with that blue box in the corner?
Pervy Sage: Quiet hot girl, we need to try and figure this out.
Sir. Mimsy Pompingdon: Indeed. *strokes invisible beard*
Misa: There's some weird guy standing outside it
*weird man standing outside a blue box in a silly pose holding a smile in place*
Mee: Misa! We are trying to crack something here!
Near: *facepalm*
Rester: Misa-san is right you know there is something strange about the man and the blue box…
Mee:…Man…
Pompingdon:…Blue Box…
Ryuk: Coconut…
Mee: But that must mean!
Pompingdon: Popeye!
: I'm ! For goodness sake you couldn't even guess it!
Mee: How long have you been standing there?
: I don't know I sorta created a time shift
Rester: A what now?
: A time shift! *super explainy (that is a word) mode*
A time shift is created in a certain area where time will accidently overlap and jump every so often, reminds me of a transformative plate boundary; only it's not the same thing!
Near: So that would explain how ten minutes seemed to have past when in fact it's been longer
Mee: So we haven't been stuck in some boring episode
: No.
Mee: Damn I thought that was Rester!
Rester: What is it with you and picking on me!?
Pompingdon: I'm gonna turn up the crazy meter it seems to be dropping a bit.
Mee: Okay…you're right it is!
Rester: The what?!
: Anyway I'm willing to take anyone in my lovely Tardis to go fix the fabrics of time and space! Especially pretty ladies!
*Pervy sage stands in front of Misa*
Misa:…
*Linder walks in*
: How bout' you would you like to hop aboard!
Linder: No thanks I just ate…BUT I DEFINITELY DIDN'T EAT GEVANNI! No that would be outrageous!
Near:…
Rester:..
Mee: Yeah that seems good.
*Mimsy nods head*
Rester: ?!
: Comeon! I need someone to come otherwise I'll be lonely!
*Ryuk kicks out the window*
: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh!
Near: Why'd you do that?
Ryuk: He was hogging all the limelight.
Rester: And you don't?
Ryuk: I only hog the apples…and limes.
*Ryuk takes limes and squishes them into his eyes*
Misa: He won't be able to see human names for a while…
Near: Anyway…I'm going to get back to work…Linder do you think you could handle the destruction?
Linder: Do I fix it or make it worse?
Near: Fix it please.
Pompingdon: Well I'm off
Pervy Sage: Err, yeah…me too…
*suspiciously picks up Misa*
Misa: Hey!
Near: Put the Misa down.
Pervy Sage: owww… *puts Misa back down*
Mee: Wait for me Mimsy!
*jousts after Mimsy*
-All is pretty quiet-
Rester: I don't want to say anything about this being over because I'm scared I'll jinx it…
Near: Don't be scared Rester just sorts some of our files.
Rester: Is Linder okay cleaning up all that stuff by herself…
Near: Do you want to help?
Rester:…No sir…*gets to work with files*
The End…we all hope I think there are still some time skips or whatever-
-Universe. Earth. Japan. Tokyo. NPA-Headquarters. A place full of...what? Even for the narrators it's too much. They're cowering in corners and eat potato chips, while the Kira case was already solved.
Anyway, NPA-headquarters. Let's start…