A/N – Thanks to the people who reviewed my first story Who's on Top. I noticed a few of you commenting on paragraphing or should I say lack of. I didn't structure the story better because I felt it didn't need it, it was only short dirty smut, my mind was writing it quicker than I could type it. Also since paragraphing is used to show change in time, place, subject or speaker and non of the above happened I didn't think anyone would mind clearly I was wrong, but point taken guys thank you, I apologise and promise future stories will be structured better. Cheeky as this is if any of you still fancy reading it I wouldn't mind knowing what you think beyond the paragraphing:) P.S. Thanks to those of you who read it and liked it anyway! This is a little slower more story less sex, for the moment anyway!

Chapter 1

I close my hand around a large glass of scotch, my third of the night, the ice in the drink should feel cold against my skin but I'm to numb to feel it.

I've lost everything, I had tried to repent for my sins, my son looking at me with pleading eyes had made me rethink my behaviour, I was so used to bullying and manipulating in order to get what I wanted I had almost forgotten there was another way.

I saw his eyes glazed with emotion, begging me to make it safe for Emma and Mary Margaret to return, I did what he asked and what thanks did I get? He left me standing alone while Emma and her entourage took him for dinner there was no invite for me, and why would there be, one act of doing the right thing did not compensate for all the wrongs I'd done.

I decided to go to bed before my self pitying mood consumed me, just as I started to climb the stairs there was a knock on the door, I considered leaving it as I was in no mood for company, but as the second knock sounded I decided to see who it was, it might be important.

I opened the door to see Sheriff Swan standing on my door step, shifting her weight from foot to foot looking like a teenage boy picking up his prom date, it was completely adorable.

"Miss Swan? What are you doing here? Is Henry OK? Has something happened?"

She had a little half smile on her face and I couldn't help but wonder what was so amusing about my obvious concern.

"Henry's fine, he's at Mary Margaret's, he's tired but safe."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you"

"Why?"

"Because I felt bad"

"About?"

"About leaving you behind while we headed to Granny's for dinner"

"Well its very sweet of you to be concerned Miss Swan but I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself"

"So I see!"

Her eyes drop to the scotch in my hand and for some reason I suddenly feel embarrassed like I should wrap the drink in a brown paper bag to conceal its contents.

"Grown woman has glass of scotch in own home after tough day, yes I see now why that would require police intervention."

"Its only an intervention if I try to stop it"

"And if I offer you a glass?"

"Its good manners!"

"Well Miss Swan never let it be said that the mayor of Storybrooke is letting her manners fail."

Why does this feel like flirting? Note to self three large scotches + Sheriff Swan = Trouble!

I leave the front door open for her to enter and put a little more sway then normal in my hips as I head to the kitchen hoping the Sheriff notices! By the way she is struggling with the simple task of closing and locking a door I'd say she did!

I reach up into the cabinet where I keep the glasses and push them back till my fingertips are barely touching them, its then that Emma walks in, I stay focused on what I'm doing allowing her to enjoy the sight of me reaching, legs flexed as they try to give me extra height, silk shirt pulled from the waist of my skirt showing the barest suggestion of toned torso, back arched, arm fully extended I let her watch, enjoying the fact I can see her reaction in my peripheral vision. She looking at me like I'm hot buttered toast and she's doing Atkins!

Its then that she offers to help, good job too, this pose may have been enjoyable for Emma but I was starting to cramp!

"Actually Miss Swan your help would be appreciated thank you"

The look of genuine surprise on her sweet little face is priceless!

"So this cupboard, top shelf?"

"Yes that's right, let me move out of your way to make it easier for you?"

"No its OK, your fine where you are."

With that she moves in behind me and rests a strong yet gentle hand on the curve of my hip as the other reaches over us, I don't know if its the reaching up or close proximity of our bodies but she releases a soft little grunt and I swear its the sexiest sound I've ever heard, and felt, as its close enough to my ear that it tickles slightly when it escapes.

She hands me the glass the, ours eyes meet, and our fingertips touch and I all of a sudden I don't feel numb any more.

I pour her a glass of the expensive scotch, pleasantly surprised that she doesn't down it and distort her face at the taste, her little cupid bow pout seems to savour the amber liquid and as she sweeps her tongue over her lower lip in appreciation its borderline erotic.

"I hope you don't think I'm being impolite but why did you come here tonight?"

"I told you I felt bad, you did a good thing today you deserved to be thanked properly, not be left on your own to get hammered on ridiculously good scotch."

She takes another long drink as if to accentuate her point, and I swear I can see each drop of liquid gliding down her throat, I also did the obligatory eyebrow raise at "thanked properly" I can't begin to imagine what that means!

"You shouldn't feel bad Miss Swan, I have done some truly terrible things in my time, you more than anyone should know that and I can not expect the rest of the town to forget that just because I'm trying to be better, I'm afraid its going to take a long time and a lot more selfless acts before any one is ready to forget."

"You've made a start though, your trying at least, that has to count for something."

"Yes, I'd like to think it does, sometimes I don't know if I have the strength, but then I look at Henry and I'm reminded of why I'm doing this, he may be a ten year old boy but he's my life, the reason I want to be better, he's my best friend, truth be told my only friend and the one person who believes in me."

I can recall many encounters with Emma, but I can honestly say I've never once seen her look at me the way she is doing now, her expression is soft and understanding, her eyes are sparkly with sympathy and sincerity, maybe its the scotch but I truly believe I've never seen a more beautiful sight.

She looks down at the glass in her hand, she's rotating her wrist slightly so the liquid moves to lick the brim of the glass but never enough to spill. She looks like she wants to say something but I'm in no rush so I simply wait if I push to hard I may hear something I don't like, her saying she should leave for example.

So I wait it out, watching her closely as she becomes hypnotised by the swirling liquid, I learn back on my stool and cross my legs, suddenly the glass in her hand is no longer her focus, scotch tips over the edge and trickles down her fingers, I am secretly praying at this point that she is as uncouth and predicable as I hope and that her solution will be to wipe her dripping digits on sinfully tight denim and not put them in her mouth to lick them clean, if she does that I will have no other choice then to fuck her on my kitchen counter.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately she does the former, my inner mother or perhaps inner girlfriend wants to nag her for the actions, lecture her on hygiene and etiquette, but I cant bring myself to, her running her strong hand over her own muscular thigh with a slightly sheepish apologetic look on her face is just too damn cute for words.

I suggest we move to the sitting room, the kitchen with Henry's artwork displayed on the fridge and the fact its the scene of the infamous poisoned turnover incident is killing the mood.

In the sitting room things seem different, less awkward, she still hasn't said anything but the silence is comfortable, she takes the seat next to me on the couch although there are other options and for such a small simple gesture it warms my heart immensely.

"It isn't true, you know?" her voice is quiet and deep and as smooth as the scotch she's drinking.

"I'm sorry" It takes me a moment to think back to the last thing I said so I'd have some idea what she meant.

"You said Henry is the only one who believes in you, that isn't true." Tears sting my eyes and rage starts building inside of me, I stand up quickly and Emma does the same in two seconds flat its our well rehearsed stand off, me standing hands on hips, showing authority, eyes menacing, but she isn't, she usually matches me but instead she grabs hold of me by the tops of my arms, shaking slightly as if this will put some sense into me.

"Will you calm down" she says in a tone far to casual for my liking, her rolling her eyes not appreciated either!.

"Calm down, you just told me that Henry doesn't believe in me, the one hope that keeps me going, my whole reason for reforming and even he thinks I'm a lost cause!".

"That's not what I meant!, what I meant was, you said he was the ONLY one and that's the bit that's not true, I believe in you too!".

"You do?"

"Yes, you crazy lunatic!" her irresistible little grin shows this is gentle teasing based on recent reactions, not her actual thoughts on my mental health.

"Reformed character my ass!" She chuckles and so do I, her ass however in a topic for later discussion.

I calm myself down as I realise what she just said, then my heart starts to race as I realise what she just said. My head feels hazy I shake it in an attempt to clear the fog she just smiles at the sight and I'm immediately put at ease.

I sit back down and she does the same, god damn why does she has to sit like that! Arm thrown lazily over the back of the couch, legs straddled wide almost like she wearing a huge strap...that's quiet enough of that!

She must notice me staring because she shifts slightly, scotch soaked fabric pulling tight across her crotch, I don't notice a bulge but if those jeans were any tighter I'm pretty sure I could lip read.

"I meant it you know, I do believe in you, I can see a change already".

"I don't know how you can really think that I've been so awful to so many people, you perhaps most of all, what makes you think I can change?".

"Regina you are nothing if not a very determined woman, you usually get what you want, I don't see why this would be any different, if you have your mind and heart set on change I truly believe that nothing will stand in your way".

"Having my mind set on it is one thing, my heart that's another matter, a pure heart gives you strength to overcome many obstacles, my heart is anything but pure, in fact its existence is still debatable".

She looks at me with soft eyes like I've just asked if my skirt makes my ass look fat, but this isn't about fishing for compliments, this is a rare moment of vulnerable honesty.

"You have a heart Regina it may not be pure, it may be battered and bruised but it exists and I can assure you its fully functional".

I should be flattered the one person other than Henry that I desperately want to see the real me, actually seems like she does but that terrifies me, hot, sexual tension, highly inappropriate flirting and good old fashioned eye sex I can handle but actual emotion, feeling myself fall and letting it happen that's another matter.

"How can you be so sure, what possible evidence have you seen that suggests I'm capable of love?".

"Loads of evidence!".

The way she defends my honour even against my own criticism, makes my insides ache.

"Look at how you were with me when I first arrived".

"Emma, I was horrible to you! I made your life a misery".

Her eyes sparkle as I say her name for the first time.

"Yes you did, but it was all because of Henry, you take the protective mama bear role to a whole other level".

I smile at her compliment, she really does have the most effortless charm, never conventional compliments but breathtaking non the less.

"It still doesn't excuse my behaviour, I was so horrible to you".

My head drops purely from shame, my behaviour was terrible and having Emma defend it by claiming it was from noble intention only made me feel worse.

She moves closer to me and places her hand on my cheek, her thumb perfectly positioned to catch a tear I didn't even feel fall, she slides her thumb across my cheekbone with the softness of a sigh and it takes everything I have not to fall apart.

"You have to stop beating yourself up, I'm not saying you haven't done some terrible things, you have, but look at why you did them".

Her hand is still resting on my face and I say a silent prayer that it will stay there always, I turn my face into her palm before turning back to meet her eyes. Her eyes are wide and full of so much emotion that I have to swallow hard to get rid of the lump in my throat.

I wanted to speak but couldn't trust what words would fall so I stay silent and allow her to continue.

"Everything you did you did for love, losing Daniel was the start, the thought of losing Henry only made matters worse, your whole reason behind doing all you've done is love, and while you may go about things in a very questionable way the motivation behind it remains the same, to feel love so strongly that it causes this level of vengeance is incredibly powerful, I believe that when all your passion and strength are put in love not hate you have the ability to love someone in a way no one else could even imagine".

Her lower lip is quivering with emotion and all I want to do is kiss it to stop it shaking, her hand is still on my face and the other is on my thigh, intense eye contact, check, close physical proximity, check, expression of deep emotions, check! Nows your chance Swan, I think to myself, if your going to do it, nows the time. I can tell she wants to her eyes are flickering from her my eyes to my lips, and I wonder if my wishing so hard for her to kiss me has resulted in actually mouthing the words.

She leans in close my senses swimming as her hand slides round to the back of my neck and as her warm breath bathes my face my whole body trembles, the side of her face brushes across mine as she places the softness kiss on the dried remains of my tear, it had been a long time since anyone had shown me such tenderness, it makes my heart hurt.

She moves back and moves her hand to mine, the other was still on my leg but now safely resting on my knee I know what she's going to say and the words hurt me before there even said.

"Its getting late, I should be going".

I feel conflicted, part of my wonders how she can just walk away when so much between us has changed, the other part wants her to go I've been so emotionally open I'm not sure I have anything else to give.

"Of course, I'll show you out".

We move to the front door and everything seems to happen in slow motion, I unlock and open the door moving behind it so she can leave, she's back to looking like an awkward teenager and all I want to do is hold her, she beats me to it and draws me in for an embrace, it was amazing to feel her arms around me, I run my hands up her arms feeling her biceps tense under leather, she smells so good soap, shampoo, and scotch, her body is the perfect combination of womanly curves and toned muscle, feeling it pressed against me is heavenly, I could have stayed like that forever.

She lets go and I immediately miss her, as I watch her walk away I know this is not the end if fact its only the beginning, she turns back to wish me sweet dreams and for the first time in a long time I believe they will be.