Disclaimer: Do not own, awesome fun to play with! But sadly I can only borrow.
NOTE#1: This is a new writing style... I am trying some suggestions a fellow member of this fandom has kindly offered. I don't want to say at this time who because that person is sick and hasn't been able to look over these changes... So just incase this is not what was meant, this is just me, unbeta but with certain new things. Rambling, sorry. Just let me know please if you like this better... It would be greatly appreciated! Thanks to C, you know who you are... hope this is better!
NOTE#2: Thanks goes out to Katy M VT and Colby's girl for reviews of Chapter 3, Sam... a Winchester? Continued thanks for favs and alerts. This is another Short Shot!
Lists
Ever since Sam told Dean he wanted his soul back, he's been asking questions and cataloging answers. The one person that wants his soul back the most is the one to ask. That would be Sammy's brother Dean, technically his brother. That way Sam knows he will get the truth. Because if he knows one thing, it's that Dean will not lie about this. He in fact can be brutally honest. That is something he needs now. The truth. So, he asks and then he listens.
When he does something wrong, and he knows it's wrong by watching Dean's reaction, then he can put that on the wrong list and he won't do it again. Sometimes he doesn't see it as wrong. So Dean tells him and that is when he finds out from Dean why it's wrong. Then he puts that on the wrong list beside the wrong thing he did. For example, fooling around with the hippy while Dean was still missing is wrong. Because Dean says he should be suffering cause Dean is missing. Because that's what souls do. Sam doesn't understand… he thinks his way is easier. No feelings equals no suffering and that sounds good to Sam. Sam remembers the feelings Sammy had. He's thankful he doesn't feel those. Dean says it's the only game in town; it is necessary to suffer. But it's not the only way, there's Sams' which at this point looks better. Not that he's stupid enough to say that to Dean's face.
But Dean doesn't want Sam's way, he wants Sammy back. The Sammy that knows what Dean means when he says he should have empathy for his fellow man. He also knows what it's means when he's told that he shouldn't speak so bluntly to people. Or that it's wrong to shoot people that get in the way of a job. But Sam has to ask why? Even though he has to ask he knows he should be more.
He sticks with Dean because he remembers the way Sammy felt about him, and he knows that feeling is mutual. So Sam doesn't leave because Dean will be his conscious to keep him human and make sure he's whole again.
Sam has a really small right list. As far as Sam can tell, he only has a couple things on that list. Saving Dean from the djinn and staying with Dean to get Sammy back. That's it. Oh, he told him the truth finally at the park…
If Sam had favorites, his would be his maybe list. The one he can put fooling around with the hippy or even the waitress as long as Dean is not in mortal danger. That list is even shorter than his right list but if he continues to ask and learn he might just survive to become Sammy again.
The End