A Crown of Flowers
InoSaku. Ino drinks because it helps her forget that she couldn't get the one person she ever wanted. She loved her first.
Yamanaka Ino downs her sixth shot of quick fuck, grimacing slightly at the taste. Her head is spinning and her hearing is muffled, and she slouches over the bar table, sighing. She rolls her head from side to side on the cool table top, vaguely aware of Chouji clearing her shot glasses, and she wants to pinch the underside of his arm just because, but finds that her arms feel boneless. Her tongue feels thick and tense in her mouth, and every time she burps, she has to stop herself from throwing up - this is the last time she was ever going to drink that vile concoction of shit, and she wants to find Kiba to massacre him for ever introducing the drink to her. He got her when she was weak. Ino never knew how to say no to alcohol.
Suddenly she sits up in her chair, squinting slightly to focus on the bemused bartender in front of her, and points at him with a manicured finger. She opens her mouth and mumbles incoherently, still pointing, and the bartender frowns.
"What?" He asks in exasperation, and Ino shakes her hand back and forth with a patronizing ah, ah, ah.
"Don't rush me," she slurs, and jabs a finger at him again anyway, ignoring the way the bartender scoffs in her face. "One more quick fuck, please, and maybe some shochu as a chaser."
"No, stop it," Shikamaru intervenes, reaching over to push Ino's finger down from the bartenders chest. "Stop being a nuisance, Ino."
"Oh, shut up, Shikamaru," Ino snaps, snagging his bottle of sake, and Shikamaru sighs and makes no move to wrestle the bottle away from her. Ino wipes her glistening lips with the back of her wrist and sneers at her team mate. "You stupid, insufferable - "
"Ino," Chouji says disapprovingly from her other side, and Ino whines in the back of her throat. They always did this, they always tried to get her to sober when all she wanted to do was get drunk, and, and, and -
"I don't have time for this," Shikamaru says finally, gathering his mission report and stows away his pen in his back pocket. He washes a hand over his tired face, and Ino stares at him in accusation.
"Leaving so early, Shikamaru?" She asks, but she already knows the answer, and suddenly she's infuriated by the way he stands up from his chair and fixes his jounin uniform. "You never stay, ever, and it's like you don't even care - "
"This isn't my idea of fun," Shikamaru says, frowning down at Ino and Ino wants to claw his stupid face. "Not anymore, at least, and I have other things I'd rather be doing, and besides, I have to pick up Temari tomorrow morning - "
"In other words, you'd rather be fucking that Sand bitch," Ino says nastily, and Chouji slams down his drink. Ino knows that she's gone too far now, yes, too far, because Shikamaru stiffens visibly and Chouji hisses, and Ino wants to cry because she didn't mean to hurt their feelings.
"Ino, be quiet," Chouji scolds, and Ino's vision clouds with unshed tears. She wants to cry because it feels so appropriate, and she wants to wrap her arms around her teammates and feel their arms around her, because -
Shikamaru glares now, and Ino feels small because Shikamaru never glares. She opens her mouth to push out a half-assed, drunken apology, but Shikamaru beats her first.
"You know what your problem is, Ino? You're selfish, and you're too proud to admit it."
And when Shikamaru leaves without a backward glance, Ino crumples against Chouji who takes her home and listens as she babbles about everything and nothing, and when she asks Chouji,
"Am I selfish?" Chouji replies,
"A little, but I just think you're scared."
"Of what?" She asks and Chouji looks at her, with eyes unreadable.
"I think you know - I think you know."
x
Ino never dates. She fucks.
It came to no surprise when her first was Shikamaru, and her second, Chouji. The difference between the two was that Shikamaru didn't give a damn about her, and Chouji did.
With Shikamaru, Ino remembers that it was incredibly awkward, messy, and thoroughly unenjoyable; they were young and bored, and kissing Shikamaru felt like kissing her own brother. It didn't last long, and as soon as they were finished, they calmly put their clothes on ("Here's your kunai holster, it must've fell when you took your shorts off-"), and walked together to meet Chouji at their barbecue restaurant. Afterwards, after Asuma-sensei dragged Chouji off to the training grounds, Shikamaru pulled Ino aside and said,
"Shouldn't have done that - it was a mistake. Forget it ever happened?"
And Ino all too happily agreed.
With Chouji, the sex was different. They were older when it happened, and Ino couldn't possibly tell you how it happened. Ino vaguely remembers crying into Chouji's shoulder after a disastrous mission, and one thing led to another, and Chouji treated her like a princess, and made her feel loved, and wanted. The problem was, Chouji wasn't the right person, and so when they were finished, they got dressed, and walked together to the Hokage tower to drop off their mission reports. Afterwards, when Shikamaru left to greet Temari at the gates, Ino pulled Chouji aside and said,
"Shouldn't have done that - I'm so sorry, but it was a mistake. Forget it ever happened?"
And Chouji smiled at her, and said,
"That's fine with me."
Because Chouji was fine with anything and everything.
And so she fucks, and never dates. She doesn't know why she fucks, because it's given her a bad reputation; Tenten smiles at her with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, and Hinata blushes whenever Ino talks to her. When Temari visits, she claps her on her back that encourages her, but it also tells her to stay away from Shikamaru; when Kurenai-sensei comes around to the barbecue restaurant with her son, she looks at Ino in wonderment and asks if Asuma's death has anything to do with her 'extracurricular activities.' But Ino knows why she never dates. She tries not to think about it, but she knows, she knows that as long as that person is around, she could never love men the way they love her.
x
She gets into a fight with her mother the next evening, and Ino tears out of the house with snarling lips and unforgivable curses. Her father runs after her, reprimanding her for talking back, and Ino yells him to leave me alone! And she's only slightly surprised when she finds Chouji waiting for her at the gate with sympathetic eyes, and Shikamaru is nowhere to be seen.
They stare at each other before Ino gives a curt nod, and soon, they're walking side by side to their favorite bar. They go to the same one they've always gone to, where the young experiment with alcohol other than sake and shouchou; they haven't always gone there because Shikamaru doesn't like mingling with people like Kiba, who has a penchant for offering sketchy drinks, or Naruto, whose voice rose to explicit levels after a couple of shots (one shot wonder, Sai liked to tease him), but after running into their fathers on too many occasions at the small sake huts on the outskirts of the village were enough to scare them away.
When Ino and Chouji arrive, Ino is surprised to see that no one is there - no one, but Shikamaru and Temari, both of whom are sitting at a booth at the far end of the bar, and Ino's heart hurts; she knows it's her fault that Shikamaru's not there with them.
"I don't care," Ino says, throwing herself onto a stool and buries her head into her arms on the bar. "Order anything for me, Chouji."
"I think we should have a quiet evening this time around," Chouji says lightly, carefully sitting down next to her. "Some sake, please."
"Fuck that," Ino says vehemently, straightening up as she stares at the apprehensive bartender with blazing eyes. "Two of your strongest imported whiskey from the Wind country."
"Are you old enough?" The bartender asks condescendingly, and it's only then when Ino realizes that it's not the same bartender from the night before, and Ino glares because this one looks younger, barely legal, and Chouji tries to pretend that he isn't there because Ino opens her mouth with an all-too familiar snarl.
"I'm twenty-three, kid," she says dangerously, and the bartender backs away automatically. "I'm paying you out of my own jounin payroll. So go get me what I asked for, or I'll - "
"Alright," the bartender says in surrender, cheeks flushing, and Ino sits back in satisfaction. "Wind whiskey, coming up."
As the bartender bustles behind the counter, Chouji starts by saying, "Ino - "
But Ino says, "Don't start," and Chouji sighs.
Someone chuckles from behind them, and Ino recognizes the jasmine scent, and the husky timbre, and the soft mendokuse murmured behind her, and Chouji murmurs a happy hello.
"A girl who can drink, eh?" Temari says when Ino turns around to say her hello, and the older girl is smiling down at her. "I like it. We should drink together sometimes."
Ino fights the blush, because there was something about this girl that makes her hot - she's hopelessly seductive, and her voice made her toes want to curl, and it's no wonder Shikamaru likes her, and Ino feels even more guilty for what she had said the night before.
But Shikamaru frowns, and crosses his arms behind his head and says, "Probably not a good idea," and Temari looks at him with raised brows. Shikamaru looks away to the side, and Ino looks down at her lap and winces when Shikamaru goes on to say,
"She's a hassle, and it's better to not get involved," and Temari clucks her tongue in disapproval.
"Whatever," Temari says and when Ino looks at her, Temari smiles again. She rummages in her pocket and pulls out a small card and reaches over to slide it across the bar, and says to the bartender, "Whatever they order tonight, it's on me. Send the bill to my room."
Winking, Temari leaves with Shikamaru who places a strong hand at the small of her back, and Ino watches them go. Temari's hip sway, and Shikamaru takes his hand away, but Ino doesn't miss the soft look Shikamaru shoots her, and she has to turn away at the look of longing, of love, in his eyes, because it's what she sees in the mirror every day, only her eyes are laced with unrequited -
The bartender places a large mug of whiskey in front of the two teammates, and Ino immediately tries to down it, but starts to choke and Chouji has to wrestle the mug away from her grabby hands.
"It's not going to run away," Chouji tells her, smiling as he takes the offered napkin from the bartender and sets to mopping his blonde teammate. Ino allows him and stares dimly at her mug, and, looking at Temari's white card, she knows she'll be taking advantage of the older girl's pocket.
One after the other, Ino continues to drink, and there are more people coming in. She's vaguely aware of Tenten asking her if she's alright, and Kakashi catching her when she sways dangerously off her seat, but she doesn't care about any of them. Not tonight. She doesn't come to bars to make friends; she comes to forget, and Chouji is only too willing to accompany her each time. Ino realizes, after her seventh shot of whatever (she doesn't remember the name, but she does remember Kiba sticking his ugly mug into hers), that she's never said thank you.
"Chouji," she slurs, and blindly groping at his shoulder and revels in the strong muscle she finds there. "I just wanted to say, thank you."
Chouji laughs, setting down his fourth mug of beer, and pats her back lightly. "Don't know what you're thanking me for, but you're welcome."
But Ino shakes her head violently and stops because her world is suddenly spinning and it feels like her brain is sloshing around. "No, no, no," she says pointing at him with a shaky finger. "You have to know what I'm thanking you for."
"Oh?" Chouji decides humor her, his large fingers resting on the handle of his mug. "Alright, go. What are you thanking me for?"
"Um," Ino flounders, frowning suddenly. What was she - oh, oh yeah. "Thank you for being there for me." There. She finally said it. She looks at Chouji expectantly, and Chouji regards her for a long second.
"You don't have to thank me for that," he says finally, turning to look back at his mug. "No matter what, I'll always be there for you."
And maybe because it's really hot in the bar, or because of the drinks Kiba coerced her to try ("Hey, this one's called everclear, it'll get you fuuuucked up!"), but Ino doesn't know how to respond - so she did what anyone else would do, and kisses Chouji. Because Chouji doesn't mind.
x
Ino is staying with her parents for the time being because she's forgot to pay her rent for a month due to the influx of missions, but when Ino stumbles up to her parents' gates, her mother is waiting for her and pushes her away, and tells her to go home.
"Your father paid your rent. It's time you go home," her mother tells her, wrapped in her lilac yukata, and Ino feels stupid, but she can't stop the sudden tears that cloud her vision.
"Are you mad at me?" she asks, her words slurring together, and her mother looks at her with hard eyes. Ino winces, and the sudden pain in her heart increases tenfold.
"Of course I am," her mother finally says, taking pity on her intoxicated daughter, and her voice is soft now. "I've been mad for a while now."
Ino knows that. They've been fighting for ages, and she feels like shit. She remembers the fight they had earlier - her mother screamed that she disliked what Ino has become, and Ino screamed that she hated her mother for what she's always been. She hadn't meant it of course, and her mother knew it too - but like Shikamaru, it became all too apparent that Ino had gone, once again, too far.
"Do you hate me?" Ino asks, her voice small and broken, and her mother looks at her with pained eyes and looks away.
"No," Ino's mother says after a long while, and sighs when Ino lets out a broken sob. "Of course not. But I meant what I said earlier. I don't like this person you've become, and really, Ino - it's time for you to go home."
Her mother looks at her one last time before disappearing into the gates, and Ino has no choice but amble back down the street in the direction to her apartment. And suddenly, she's not as drunk as she was, and she starts to remember bits and pieces that she wants to forget.
So when Ino returns back to the bar, it was only natural for her to seek out Kiba and really, going on a three day bender didn't sound like a bad idea at all.
x
The thing is, Ino tricks herself into thinking that she forgets, but she never does.
Because she eventually has to go home, where she's alone, and the drunkenness stops being giggly and stupid and instead morphs into a depressingly cold monster. It bites at her, reminds her of what she can never have, and she wants to cry - but she finds that she can't. There are no more tears, not yet, but she has to let out the aggression, the agony that consumes her, and why, why did the gods invent such a stupid and wretched thing called love? Or perhaps it was the devil himself, to drag people down with him, to revel in agony and heartbreak, and if he did invent love, then he was certainly enjoying Ino's plight.
And when Ino stumbles into her room, vaguely wondering if she should run to the bathroom to make herself sick, or just go to bed and wake up with a raging hangover, and she manages to knock over a picture frame. She has enough decency to pick up the fallen object - and wishes she never even bothered.
It was her. Her, her, and only her - pale skin, pink tresses, and eyes of emerald. It was taken a year ago at someone's jounin promotion party, and Sakura had opted for a stylishly short dress that showed off her creamy thighs and accentuated her small waist. Her hair, Ino remembers, was piled on high onto her head, but by the time Ino had managed to bully Sakura into posing for a picture, her hair was down, just barely passing her shoulders, and Ino remembers running her fingers through it afterwards, petting her, breathing in her citrusy scent…remembers the outline of Sakura's body, the way her voice sounded whenever she lost herself completely, and how flustered she could get...
…and Ino stands with her back pressed against her door, staring down at the picture, and suddenly, she isn't so drunk anymore. Her vision sharpens and she hungrily drinks in the picture. She wets her booze-stained lips, and her body is heating up - there's something going on down south, demanding Ino's attention, and her body tightens more and more and more, and without taking her eyes off the picture, she shimmies her hand down her pants, and oh - oh, Ino breathes, her head suddenly resting on the back of her door, and the picture falling at her side.
Oh, she breathes, curling her fingers at the right angle, her fingers teasing herself, slipping in and out at the right rhythm, and with her other hand she gropes at her covered breasts and yes, she's coming, and Ino doesn't realize that she's mewling, groaning, pushing herself down on her still moving fingers, desperate to ride out her orgasm, and oh, oh, oh.
Ino doesn't know how long she stands there, trembling, but she does eventually slide down to the floor, fingers still lodged inside her, and her legs spread wide. She's not finished - she's Yamanaka Ino, stamina of a bull, and she could have any guy she wanted at the moment, giving her what she needs - but Ino can't, not when her head is full of Sakura, and the thought of the pink-haired girl was enough to keep Ino going, mercilessly abusing herself with skilled fingers, and yes, yes, Sakura, Sakura, Sakura -
"Sakura," Ino cries out thickly, her hips rising from the floor to meet her hands, sweat glistening on her forehead and in between her breasts. "Sakura."
x
It isn't fair, it was never fair, because she saw Sakura first, she noticed Sakura first, and gods be damned, she loved Sakura first, from the moment they were children when Ino first laid eyes on a tear-stained Sakura, with her messy hair and the snot dribbling out of her nose. Cute Sakura, with her high wobbly voice. Distrustful Sakura, with the fearful apprehension in her eyes, scared that Ino was like the other girls who would begin picking on her and laughing at her large forehead. Cheerful Sakura, when she would follow Ino around, picking flowers and watching intently as Ino taught her how to make flower crowns and flower rings, laughing as she would accidentally tear the stems and as Ino would scold her good-naturedly. Wanton Sakura, when Ino managed to muster up the courage, albeit the drunken kind, to cajole Sakura into coming back to her apartment with her, where Sakura kissed her sweetly and laughed and groaned as Ino touched her all over, cheeks flushed and breathing labored.
Honest Sakura, who regretfully told Ino the next morning that she only remembered bits and pieces from the night before and that she hoped their friendship could stay the same, and how was Ino able to say no, we can't go back to how we were before? She couldn't, not when Sakura looked horribly embarrassed, apologizing over and over as if she had been the one to come onto Ino and not the other way around, and it wasn't fair - it wasn't fair how Sakura held so much power over her, it wasn't fair how Sakura was always the one to control how their relationship evolved or stayed the same, and it wasn't fair how Ino's traitorous heart couldn't stop loving her no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she hurt.
It wasn't fair how Uchiha Sasuke came back and had the audacity to spend time with Sakura, to hold her hand when they thought no one was watching, to smile at her softly as she giggled, to kiss her whenever he felt like it, because Ino had her first. Not him. But he still got her in the end.
It wasn't fair.
x
"You know what your problem is?" Shikamaru asks her one night, finally speaking to her again after a week's worth of cool indifference, and Ino looks at him blearily over the rims of her beer mug.
"What is it now, you want to kick me when I'm down?" Ino mutters and then she shrugs. "Fine. Lay it on me, I already feel like shit. Give me your best shot, maybe you can shadow-bind me as you lecture me, you know, just in case I run to go talk to someone who won't make me feel like - "
"Your problem is that you put all of your hopes and dreams into one person, and then you completely break and fall apart when that person disappoints you," Shikamaru went on after throwing her a slight glare. "You start acting belligerent, more so than usual, only now you're causing a lot of people problems, and you know what? Everyone's getting sick of picking up after you."
"A man who succeeded in love has no right to talk to someone who failed in love," Ino snaps, slamming her drink onto the bar. "You done? Because I'd like another drink. Preferably away from you. Where's Kiba?"
"Probably tricking some poor bastard into gulping down whatever concoction of shit he's caught wind about," Shikamaru mutters. Then he sighs. "I'm actually being serious here, Ino."
Ino orders another beer. "You're walking me home after this," she tells her ex-teammate. Shikamaru says nothing, only shrugging in response.
They drink, Ino more so than Shikamaru, and afterwards, when Shikamaru walks her home with his hands deep into his pockets and Ino leaning onto him heavily, he tells her, "You know I'm worried about you."
Ino looks up at him, ready to snark out a shitty reply, but at the solemn look on his face, she looks away. "Yeah," she says, trying hard not to stumble but Shikamaru takes one of his hands out from his pockets to steady her anyway. "I know."
By the time they reach her apartment and after Shikamaru jumbles with her lock, she feels the urge to vomit, to take her clothes off of her sweaty body, to piss out everything she drank in the bar, but instead she drags Shikamaru into her apartment with her and when she trips, gripping onto his forearms, he falls with her. She feels stupid and she blubbers out an apology. Shikamaru doesn't say anything - just lets her bruise his arm with her iron grip, studying her with unreadable eyes, and it's only when she starts to cry angry and sad tears, that he reaches out to hold her free hand.
"I love her," she tells him, and he doesn't have to ask who. "But I can't have her, and I understand that, I know I lost, and I just want to stop hurting. It hurts all over. Why won't it stop hurting?"
"It wouldn't be love if it didn't hurt sometimes," Shikamaru tells her, his voice soft. It hurts to hear that because Ino understands, and then she completely breaks. Shikamaru lets her cry, still holding her hand, and after a long while when it starts to physically hurt to keep crying, he takes her to bed and waits patiently for her to fall asleep. When she wakes up the next morning and still sees him next to her, she remembers why she loves him so much.
She only wishes it was Sakura she woke up to, and her heart hurts a little bit when she thinks about how happy that would make her - and how no one would be able to take that happiness away from her.
x
Everyone knows that she's been in a funk for the last couple of months, and Ino wonders if she's been wallowing in her heartbreak for so long that no one really seems to care anymore.
She doesn't care that no one cares, but eventually she stops drinking so much. Sometimes she cracks and she'll drag either Chouji or Shikamaru or both to the bars, only to allow Kiba rope her into trying something new, but most of the times she goes on the many missions she volunteers for. Her relationship with her mother slowly repairs itself now that Ino isn't slurring when she speaks or stinking of alcohol and stale cigarette smoke, and people have stopped smiling at her with apprehension in their eyes.
But the heartbreak doesn't let up, and Ino's beginning to think that it never will.
x
When Sasuke and Sakura return from wherever they went - a mission to the Rain country or some other place, Ino doesn't quite remember anymore - Ino hides. She starts avoiding places that she knows Sakura likes to frequent and dodges out of sight whenever she catches sight of Sakura at the marketplace, at the ramen shop, at the hospital, at the teashop where Ino used to enjoy having little girly dates with Sakura after weeks worth of work, and Ino feigns deafness whenever someone tells her that Sakura is looking for her. Shikamaru thinks she's being an idiot; Chouji only smiles at her sadly.
But she doesn't take into account that Sasuke would eventually find her in one of the training fields, picking at the grass and wondering how long she could go on hiding before hunting down Sakura herself and acting like everything was okay.
"She's looking for you," he tells her and when he stares, it's like he's staring straight into her soul - staring like he knows why she's been avoiding the girl they both cared for, though he has enough tact to not bring any of her secrets up. When Ino doesn't say anything, Sasuke gives a slight nod at her before turning to walk away.
"Do you love her?" She finds herself asking before she can stop herself. He stops but doesn't turn around, and then her heart hurts all over again. I loved her first, she thinks, wanting to throw the bits of grass in her hands at his back. I loved her first. You didn't.
It isn't fair.
When he doesn't answer, she forces herself to ask again. "Do you love her?"
She wants him to say no - no, he doesn't love her, he's just using her and once he's done, he'll throw her away so that Sakura can come crawling back to her, tears in her eyes, and then Ino will be able to swoop in and kiss her tears away and help Sakura fall in love with her, and then they can be happy, together - gods, Ino would make her so happy, until they were both wrinkly elderly women who still liked to make flower crowns and flower rings - but then she thinks that if Sasuke were to say no, I don't love her, she might very well kill him, burn down the village if she has to as long as he's in it, because Sakura deserved everything and more.
But it isn't a 'no.' Yes is his answer. It's soft and Ino thinks she might have imagined it, but then he turns around to look at her again and Ino has to look away. She nods after a long minute and Sasuke leaves.
Yes. How could he not? Ino laughs bitterly to herself. Of course he does. It was impossible to not love her. Ino knew that very well - and she knew that it was hard to stop.
x
It's almost like a last hurrah before she decides to grow up and move past her little pity-party.
Kiba helps her get completely and utterly trashed. Chouji tries several times to wrestle the drinks out of her hands. Shikamaru is with Temari again, in a corner where they watch Ino and Kiba make fools of themselves, with Naruto and Lee joining in. Shino is there too, sighing whenever Kiba thrusts drinks in his face before he downs shot after shot with an air of resignation. It becomes like a game for Kiba and Ino, trying to get Shino drunk. Eventually, Kiba takes her home and they fuck drunkenly, and it's fun because they laugh between kisses and throw back snarky remarks at each other.
When she comes, Ino thinks about Sakura and she's chanting her name until Kiba clamps his hands down on her mouth before removing it and pressing a hard kiss on her parted lips, but that doesn't stop Ino from thinking Sakura, Sakura, Sakura as she loses herself completely.
Afterwards, Kiba holds her and asks if she'll really be okay this time. Ino doesn't know how everyone knows about her, but she doesn't ask. It's too complicated, and she's far too drunk to delve into complex matters. She just shrugs and when Kiba tickles her mercilessly, unhappy with her response, she screeches with laughter, tears in her eyes, and finally yields by nodding.
The tears aren't ones of mirth - not really anyway. But she wasn't lying when she nodded.
She'll be okay. Eventually.
x
"I really don't want to talk to you," Sakura snaps at her one sunny afternoon. She's in the training fields, the very same one Sasuke found Ino in, and Sakura has managed to make a right mess of the grounds.
Ino puts a flower crown on her pretty pink head. When Sakura tries to shake it off stubbornly, Ino laughs and hugs her tight. "Come on, don't be like that," she says and then she laughs harder when Sakura thrashes around in her arms. She isn't really trying to free herself, Ino thinks, otherwise Sakura would have thrown her half-way across the destroyed training grounds. She eventually stops struggling and Ino buries her face into her neck and breathes in deeply and her heart clenches when she feels Sakura wrap her arms around her in return.
"Ino?" Sakura says, amused but a little confused.
"Don't ruin this for me," Ino grumbles, hugging her a little bit tighter and Sakura giggles in response.
They eventually untangle themselves from each other and then they sit down in one of the many craters Sakura made before Ino found her. They talk and it hurts Ino to see her best friend - her first love and maybe even her last love - smile and laugh and talk animatedly about how Sasuke did this, how Sasuke did that during their long mission away from home, but she finds that it's easier to deal with it this time around. Before, when Sakura had come to Ino to tell her about her relationship with Sasuke, Ino had reacted poorly; she'd forced herself to squeal and congratulate her friend but then she fled quickly, ignoring Sakura's confused calls. This time around, however, Ino finds it easier to go with the flow, to encourage her friend to talk about anything and everything she wanted, even if it was about Sasuke, and this time, it doesn't hurt to smile.
They go to the bar and Ino doesn't get drunk - she's had her last hurrah - but they do drink quite a bit and they're joined with Kiba, Naruto, Shikamaru, Chouji, and several others. They laugh and tease each other, and Sakura playfully fends Kiba off with his suspicious looking drinks - this time, he has something called a dragon shot - and Ino feels happy and light. Her mood dampens when Sasuke comes by to take Sakura home, and she has to look away when Sakura smiles up at him, happy and a little bit drunk, and when Kiba says loudly holy shit, I've never seen that look on your face before, Sasuke, Ino has to close her eyes. It hurts - everything hurts - but she opens her eyes again when Sakura touches her shoulder to tell her good night.
"Get her home safely," Ino tells Sasuke, giving him a stern look, pretending that it doesn't bother her to hell and back that he's got one hand on Sakura's elbow and the other placed somewhere on her back. I loved her first, she can't help but think. Sasuke just looks at her before leading Sakura out of the bar, catching her when she stumbles, and Ino has to turn away again when she sees Sasuke move the hand on her back up to her shoulders and pulls her close.
Ino takes Sakura's untouched dragon shot, downing it all in one go.
"Think you'll be okay?" Chouji asks her once the conversation picks up again with Sakura and Sasuke's leave. Shikamaru hears and turns around, looking intently at Ino with searching eyes.
Ino thinks. She'll always love Sakura, and she suspects that it'll never stop hurting, but maybe - just maybe - it'll hurt a bit less in the future. Kiba swoops in and plonks another shot in front of her.
"Yeah," she answers after a long while. She smiles at the relieved look on Chouji's face and at Shikamaru's satisfied nod. "Yeah, I think I will be."
(Originally written in 2010, completely forgotten I had written this - well, whatever this is.)