Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do own my original character Washi and anything else not mentioned in the Manga or Anime. Enjoy!
--x-- Washi's Guide to the Shinobi World --x--
On his travels Washi had come across many people from several Hidden Villages. Coming across Missing Nin was not uncommon, for in the previous few years many had been exiled from their homes.
In Kiri and in Mizu in general the bloodline clans were being eliminated or exiled. Not to also mention the Seven Swordsmen and the Anti-Haruno movement.
In Kumo the recent Haruno regime takeover had displaced many of Kumo's most loyal allies due to their hatred of the Haruno clan. Kumo like Kiri and Konoha was under the plague of the Pink Banshees.
In Kusa, Suna, Iwa, Taki, and several other villages, old rivals were exiling members of founding clans in order to gain power for themselves while eliminating potential power threats. Others went on self-imposed exiles such as Sasori of the Red Sands. These recent numbers of political ploys and convenient series of events allowed groups such as Akatsuki, "the Kurosaki clan," and the Hidden Sound Village to form.
Despite what many thought, not all Missing Nin are cold, ruthless, and honor-less criminals. In fact many were driven out under less than legal situations. Some were forced to undertake the most airtight Village and National secret missions that almost always ended in calls for treason. Pride was the most common reason the most deadly, illegal, and unethical missions were almost always known solely to the client, the Kage, and the shinobi involved.
There are several types of shinobi out there in the wide world. And Washi was able to narrow them down into a few different categories/ stereotypes. Let's start with the most basic division: genders. We shall present the data collected by Washi on kunoichi first.
--x-- Washi's Guide to the Shinobi World --x--
K-A: Fangirl
This type of Kunoichi is driven by "true love" into becoming a ninja in order to win over the man they love. While most fail and eventually quit, some are able to get over their fangirl-ism to become a ninja. And even fewer become successful chunnin. An extremely small number will make it beyond chunnin. Many give up their responsibilities to raise children, teach in the academy, work in the hospital, or perform administrative duties within a Hidden Village. They become successful in their chosen area, but never amount to much more than a mediocre gate guard. Most are able to get over their childish obsessions while reassurance from their sensei that they can achieve greatness and that becoming a ninja for a boy is the wrong reason. While not always stable, this type of Kunoichi is great to have if being chased by bandits, bounty hunters, or debt collectors. They can make criminals weep and run for their lives. Fangirls are unafraid of taking cheap shots and have little honor. They are the most useless of Kunoichi unless they are carefully directed by a sensei or experienced Kunoichi.
(See Rin of Team Yondaime)
K-A-1: Hopeless Fangirl
This type of Kunoichi is so blinded by her so-called "true love" that she will stop at nothing to eliminate any potential threat. Most men she goes after tend to like men themselves, so these women will rarely get their man except under the guise of being shopping buddies. Their abysmal chakra reserves and consequential amazing chakra control make them ideal for medical jutsu or genjutsu, but few will ever progress that far as they pathetic stamina wise. Most will die on or give up after their first mission.
(See Sakura Haruno, and Haruno clan in general for more information. NOTE: HARUNO MEN ARE WORSE THAN THEIR FEMALE COUNTERPARTS!)
K-A-2: Meek Fangirl
This type of Kunoichi often has confidence issues, which often extends to their bodies. They are often inspired by their crush to work harder and to never give up. Eventually they move on and befriend said former crush. The pair will usually becoming extremely close platonically unless the male finally stops being dense, and thus he will begin to chase after her. Said former fangirl will play hard to get and first but will eventually give in and result in a big and happy family.
(See Hinata Hyuuga)
--x-- Washi's Guide to the Shinobi World --x--
K-B: Amazon (a.k.a. Tomboy)
This type of Kunoichi is more obsessed with body image than the Meek Fangirl. Constantly trying to prove themselves to their male counterparts as well as female colleagues, these women will push themselves beyond their limits. Sometimes they are able to win their man, but often they move on after realizing they can do much better. This type of Kunoichi is often an orphan, but not necessary. She is the most successful type of Kunoichi once she embraces her feminine side and uses it to her advantage as the majority of her male counterparts are super perverts. A true Amazon will use Icha Icha against men. She despises its existence, but will also use any advantage available to her. These are the most dangerous women to be involved with on and off of the battlefield. They are unafraid of not being lady-like and have colorful language.
(See Tayuya of the Sound Four)
K-B-1: Amazon Chainmaster (Bombshell Tomboy)
This type of Kunoichi is a ticking surprise. They begin extremely underdeveloped, but eventually their patience is rewarded with curves and assets any woman would kill for. (And men would spill blood for at the sight of). This type of woman is feisty and will stop at nothing to humble the object of her affection. It pains her to punish and injure her love, but she would not accept anything less than complete obedience (and submissiveness. She is a master of deception and manipulation. Her good intentions often result in personal bad habits.
(See Tsunade of the Senju Clan)
K-B-2: Amazon Archer (a.k.a Penis Envy Tomboy)
This type of Kunoichi is a ticking time bomb. She is often the only daughter in a largely male household/ clan. She is constantly trying to prove herself to her peers and father. It is not so much she wants to be male, as much as that she wants to prove she is strong and can take care of herself. Often neglected with the absence of parental love, this type of tomboy will strive for perfection. She will get her man at any cost within reason. She is not above bending rules to achieve that task.
They are fierce warriors often utilizing weapons on and off of the battlefield. While most strive to be equals, some want to be actual males. Their counterparts include the Eunuch (a.k.a. Breast Envy Men) who include Deidara of Iwa) and the Cross-dressing Fanboy (Haku).
(See Temari of the Desert)
K-B-2-I: Amazon Swordswoman
This type of Kunoichi specializes in one area and places her responsibilities as a Kunoichi before her social and love lives. She has pride in her appearance, maintaining the feminine while blending into the sea of masculinity necessary in the shinobi world. Cold, stoic, and very suspicious sum up this type of Kunoichi very well. Her pride can get the best of her especially
(See Yugao Uzuki)
K-B-2-II: Amazon Sniper
This type of Kunoichi takes her job seriously. She does not care about her appearance. She has control issues with men. Does not get along with Feminist Flirt. NEVER ALLOW HER TO BE IN THE VICINITY OF A HOPELESS FANGIRL!! An Amazon Sniper is very similar to an Amazon Swordswoman, and consequently an Amazon Archer. In the realm of weaponry an Archer focuses on one weapon of any variety while a Swordswoman relies on a sword (or sword-like weapon). A Sniper is more-well rounded in comparison as she specializes in all types of weapons. In personality an Archer in general is moody while a Sniper is much more bubbly, especially in comparison to a Swordswoman.
NOTE: DO NOT GET ON THEIR BAD SIDE UNLESS YOU WANT LOTS OF BRUISES, BROKEN BONES, AND POINTY THINGS STUCK EVERYWHERE ON YOUR PERSON—PARTICULARLY YOU LITTLE GUY! SHE IS THE MOST DANGEROUS OF THE AMAZONS AS SHE IDOLIZES THE CHAIN MASTER IN PARTICULAR!
(See Tenten)
K-B-3: Amazon Blowpiper
This type of Kunoichi is highly suggestive. She uses unorthodox methods to get the desired results. She is not afraid to get herself dirty in order to succeed in life. She is by no means loose by any standard. This type of Kunoichi is actually quite pious despite her demeanor and attire. She is very fragile and broken. She is often hurt by paternal figures and wants to be rescued by her prince charming, but is forced to get the ball rolling herself. She hates perverts while being quite perverted herself.
(See Anko Mitarashi).
K-B-4: Amazon Fighter
This type of Kunoichi is not afraid of hard work. She is quite adept in stealth and is a threat. This type of woman is often mistaken for a lesbian. Truth be told most of the time she is asexual for most extents and purposes as her sole purpose in life is to complete missions and make her name legendary. While cold she is very capable of being a very sensual partner.
(See Yugito Nii).
K-B-4-I: Amazon Paladin
This type of Kunoichi is barely different from the previous type, but is much more head strong and stubborn. An Amazon Paladin has an iron will and will not back down once she has made up her mind, not even to her superiors. If she does marry/ get into a serious relationship, her partner will become whipped whether he likes it or not. While she is domineering outside, she is a whole other story in the bedroom
(See Kushina Uzumaki)
K-B-5: Amazon Spellcaster
This type of Kunoichi returns to isolation when the times get difficult. She will have a family, but remains distant. She specializes within the realm of healing which also encompasses poison. She will be unrivaled and stubborn. She is set in her ways and refuses to change. Unlike other Amazons she places more trust in the men around her, but not by much. She is talented in the shinobi world, but not as much in the domestic and romantic realms of life.
(See Chiyo)
--x-- Washi's Guide to the Shinobi World --x--
K-C: Flirt
This type of Kunoichi uses her femininity to the fullest. Her body is her greatest weapon and she does her best to maintain it. She does not diet, but exercises regularly while not becoming too muscular. She does not become a ninja for a man per se, but is constantly trying to show she is an equal and not someone who needs to have a handicap in battle for a "level playing field." Their womanly charm is dangerous particularly to perverts. Her graceful movements and gentle voice overwhelm the senses of her male target: enemy and (potential) love interest.
(See Ino Yamanaka)
K-C-1: Insane Flirt
This type of Kunoichi is extremely jealous and possessive. She is rough around the edges during adolescence, but fully embraces her Kami given assets as an adult. While not as attractive in most cases as the Bombshell Tomboy she is quite curvaceous and possesses a plentiful bosom. She pretends to not to care about the man who likes her, but she does. She often comes of as being insane, but is truly broken and insecure. She is often hurt by a difficult childhood and clings on to the first male that saves her.
(See Konan of Ame Rain).
K-C-2: Wallflower Flirt
This type of Kunoichi is well intentioned, but not the most experienced in social situations. She hates perverts with a passion, though is commonly a fan of Yaoi. In most situations she plays hard to get as an ego boost. In other circumstances she covers for her straight acting male friends. It is a mutual beneficial relationship. He does not have people questioning his sexuality and she is not harped on for not being married. She is most likely bookish and conservative in appearance in public, but she is quite different around those she is comfortable and well accustomed.
(See Shizune, apprentice of Tsunade)
K-C-3: Feminist Flirt
This type of shinobi is often hypocritical. Like the Wallflower Flirt she too likes Yaoi. While she finds Icha Icha degrading to women, she has no problem with Yaoi or softcore literature directed toward women. She is not a pervert by any stretch of the imagination, but she does let her mind wonder. She tends to get along with most types of Kunoichi, particularly the Insane Flirt.
(See Kurenai Yuhi)
--x-- Washi's Guide to the Shinobi World --x--
Author's Note:
I thought everyone could use a little laugh. It is a series of chapters I will use to coincide with my Naruto Story. I hope no women were offended while reading this it was all meant as a lighthearted joke. I am no chauvinistic macho pig by any stretch of the imagination. You will get your chance to laugh your brains out when I do the shinobi chapter.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE AMAZONS EITHER!! THEY ARE FROM YU-GI-OH ALBEIT I USED THEIR JAPANESE NAMES BUT STILL I DO NOT OWN THEM!
Hope y'all appreciated the good laugh. Please Review!
Griffin