Title: A Two Step Plan
Fandom: Kuragehime and Ouran High School Host Club
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not really anything, but Kuranosuke's dramatic younger self does pretend to consider suicide. Don't worry, he doesn't mean it at all.
Spoilers: None for Ouran, not much for Kuragehime, but you could consider it to spoil episode four.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Summery: It was Tamaki who taught him that deep down, all women are princesses.
A Two Step Plan
The afternoon Kuranosuke realized he was in love with Tsukimi he made a plan. This plan consisted of two steps.
Step One: Call Tamaki.
Step Two: Get drunk.
This was the message he left on Tamaki's phone— "Call me back you jerk because I think I love Tsukimi and it's all your fault. I probably should have realized it when I started finding her jellyfish talk more interesting then talking to Yuuko about who she's having sex with. Even when you include the possibility that the person in question was me. TAMAKI! I am finding JELLYFISH more interesting then SEX. God I never would have noticed her if it wasn't for you. Those gray sweats are a crime against humanity and when I saw her wearing them the first time all I could think was that they looked like something Haruhi would own. Not wear, because you have more sense than that, but own because they look soft and warm and very practical and Haruhi likes that sort of thing. And that's exactly what I'm talking about. See- see- it all comes back to you and the fact that it is all YOUR FALT. Because how can I love a girl who can't even look me in the eye unless I'm wearing a corset and a stuffed bra? Oh, by the way tell Ranka thank you for me because the new corset he recommended is MUCH more comfortable for long term use which is important because I wear them all the time now. And that is all your faul-"
The answering machine cut him off mid-sentence. It was possible —highly possible— that he'd started step two of his plan ahead of schedule.
In all fairness, Kuranosuke wasn't actually wrong. In some ways Tamaki was the start of this. Kuranosuke had met him perhaps six months after his father had gained custody of him, back when he still spent most of his time at odds with the family he had only just discovered. His step-mother hadn't forgiven his father yet for his apparent unfaithfulness and definitely didn't know how to deal with the resulting child. Kuranosuke's half brother Shu didn't live at home and he'd only met him a couple of times. Meanwhile his father, perhaps in an attempt to appease his wife, seemed to spend most of his time trying to forget he had a second son. Given the circumstances, it was unsurprising that Kuranosuke was an intensely lonely and unhappy fourteen year old.
He was also an incredibly melodramatic fourteen year old, which was why the first time he met Tamaki he was sitting on the railing of an overpass, pretending he might commit suicide. He wasn't actually going to do it, but it was satisfying to imagine his family's reactions when the police had to bring them his broken little body. He could just picture the horror and regret on his father's face. That would teach him! Kuranosuke closed his eyes and imagined the lovely trailing black gowns his mother would put on in mourning of him. It was lucky, he thought, that his mother looked quite fetching in black. Once he got the details of his own death out of the picture Kuranosuke had quite a good time imagining his mother donning mourning clothes and selling the story of his tragic death to all the news media.
Kuranosuke was in the middle of imagining his uncle's ruined political career when he heard a voice call out, "NO! Don't jump! Life is too precious to throw away!"
Kuranosuke answered with all pathos he summon, "You wouldn't understand. I've been taken from my mother to live with a father who doesn't want me and a step-mother who resents me! My half-brother doesn't seem to know I exist." In a moment of real honesty he added "I miss my mom."
The reaction he got to this dramatic announcement wasn't what he expected. Instead of meaningless platitudes, strong arms reached out and pulled him off the railing and that same voice announced "My brother! I know exactly how you feel, but no matter how hopeless things seem you must never give up! Things can always get better so there's no reason to to do anything drastic. How fortuitous that we should meet, it seems that God is guiding my hand!"
As the would be rescuer delivered this astonishing speech he clasped Kuranosuke's hands earnestly and looked into the other boy's eyes with conviction. This gave Kuranosuke a good chance to observe the other man. He seemed to be older than him, but younger than Shu and in spite of his silly mannerisms there was something... compelling about him, almost magnetic.
The stranger broke his intense soul gazing or whatever it was to say "It's almost lunch time and I'm starving. I bet I can get my girlfriend to make us something. I parked my car down the street because there wasn't room out here on the overpass, but it isn't far. I'm Tamaki by the way."
Kuranosuke did in fact possess a voice of reason and that voice was pointing out that getting in some complete stranger's car was a terrible idea. Of course that voice also thought that sitting on the railing of an overpass contemplating his own death was a terrible idea, so clearly that was not the voice he was choosing to listen to today.
Instead he gave a small smile and said "Sounds good to me. I'm Kuranosuke."
It didn't occur to him that it was equally stupid for Tamaki to invite him into his car, but that afternoon Kuranosuke learned that Tamaki had a voice of reason too, however she usually went by the name of Haruhi and didn't do him any good when he left her at home.
It surprised no one more than Kuranosuke that Tamaki really did understand what he was going through. He spent the next year idolizing Tamaki and mimicking his every move. It was Tamaki who taught him that deep down, all women are princesses. Tamaki who showed him that even the strangest seeming people deserved kindness and second look. Tamaki who reintroduced him to the world of fashion he thought he'd left behind when he left his mother. When he missed his mother Tamaki took him on trips or distracted him with stories from his Host Club days. (Kuranosuke had a hard time believing anyone ever thought the sardonic yet genteel Haruhi was boy.) Tamaki took him to dinner with his family, obstinately because "Haruhi has to study and can't go with me, it's tragic. I need moral support Kuranosuke! Someone to stand strong with me!" Tamaki had acted as though Kuranosuke was doing him a great favor by coming along, the first time, and every subsequent time. Later however, thinking it over, Kuranosuke had wondered if Tamaki hadn't been doing him a favor. After spending some time in the Suoh family home had certainly made his own home more understandable.
Kuranosuke had been sure his father would disapprove of the flamboyant young man who, as he had once remarked to Haruhi, certainly seemed to be a few crayons short of a full box. Ironically however, his father was overjoyed at that his errant son had been adopted by the Suoh heir. Apparently having more money than the GNP of many small countries and quite a lot political power to boot, meant that one was allowed to have what his father condescendingly called "A few trifling eccentricities."
Eventually Haruhi and Tamaki had moved back over seas and Kuranosuke had made more friends his own age, but whenever anything shocking, or life changing, or vaguely amusing happened Tamaki was the first one he called. In fact, the first thing he'd done after he got out of Amamizukan had been to tell Tamaki all the strange things he'd encountered commoners doing lately.
As Kuranosuke laid passed out on his couch this message was left on his phone:
"Never fear Kuranosuke. Love is the great equalizer! It both blinds you and makes you see. Did I ever tell you about the quota I gave Haruhi? Before I even knew she was a girl I had all these hopes about mentoring her in my image. I imagined she'd be you, I guess. Anyway, I'd told her she needed to be requested 100 times to escape her debt (I told you about that right?) Anyway I'd thought this would give me plenty of time with her but that afternoon she must have drawn in at least a dozen girls. I panicked and before I knew what was coming out of my mouth I had changed the quota from 100 to 1000. For a long time she thought we only wanted her around to pay her debt. Also, I used to refer to myself as her father. Don't ask- it made sense at the time. So it could be worse. Keep a brave heart my little knight of love! You will prevail if your heart is true! I want to meet this Jellyfish Princess. You should invite her over to my place. She'll like me don't you think? Everyone likes me. And of course, she and Haruhi would have lots in common. This is an awesome idea. We could do a hot pot! I'll talk to Haruhi and maybe invi-"
The answering machine also cut Tamaki off mid-sentence, but he probably wasn't drinking.