Whatever Face You Want
Shinga
A Harry Potter / X-men crossover
A/N: Written for LJ user redstapler in a fandomsecrets crossover meme. Warning: crack... very... wrong crack. ;)
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Harry and Ron were having an argument in the Weasley house. Looking back it was probably stupid but at the time it seemed to be something of dire importance. Hermione and Ginny had long since rolled their eyes and left the two of them to their heated debate. Harry generally enjoyed walking away from arguments, but whatever this started off as had been a big deal... or maybe not. Either way it became trivial until they were just content to argue about whatever popped up.
"Dammit, Harry!" Ron stood up at the kitchen table, slamming his fist down. "Benjamin Wigg was not Cannons seeker back in 1976!"
"He was!" Harry stood too. "I know!"
"Harry, you've lived with Muggles your whole life, you've only known you were a wizard for five years," Ron said. "You know what? Let's settle this. I have the Quidditch book upstairs that will prove you wrong."
"You mean RIGHT!"
The two of them bolted up towards Ron's bedroom, each trying to shove the other out of the way and get there first, as if the information in the book would change to prove whoever touched it first right.
Ron reached the door first and flung it open.
And stared. Harry caught up with him, and also stared.
Laying in Ron's bed had to be simply a nightmare on one or both of their parts and wasn't actually happening. But there they could see, and could not deny, the utter and complete naked forms of Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape, old wrinkly skin intertwined passionately with pale sunken skin, all on Ron's bed. Dumbledore was on top of Snape, his long white hair and beard resting on the side of Snape's turned face. Both of their eyes were shut and sweat covered them and the moaning sounds from Snape were strangely feminine, and something neither Ron or Harry could ever erase from their minds.
With a soundless scream, the boys slammed the door shut and ran.
"Did you hear something?" Snape asked as there was a light 'pop' and in his place was a young, nubile woman with bubble pink hair. "Mystique?"
Dumbledore shifted back to the blue-skinned redhead who scowled down at Tonks. "I heard nothing," she said and she leaned down and licked her young lover's neck. "Now, who do we want to play with now?"
"Mmm," Tonks closed her eyes and smirked. "Remus and Bill? I'll be Bill."
Mystique pressed her lips against Tonks' as they melted into Remus' lips. "Careful," she said in his voice with his grin. "I might bite."
Bill's body smirked. "Bring it on."